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Sharing bed with a mate

I'm a girl and a guy friend has offered me to stay over as i'm visiting their local area as it saves me a lot of money. I've stayed before while they were away which was fine, but this time they'll be there. They offered me to sleep in the bed with them (for me it's a no-no) which they thought was normal rather than the sofa. Should mention they used to fancy me years ago but have said they don't now for a while.

Is it weird they offered this?

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Reply 1
Avatar for gtty123
gtty123
22
Not really.
Yes very creepy that they didn't suggest the sofa. Yikes. Big nope. Don't go there alone. Eek.
Reply 3
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Anonymous #1
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Original post by gtty123
Not really.


Original post by Satori Tendō
Yes very creepy that they didn't suggest the sofa. Yikes. Big nope. Don't go there alone. Eek.

I should mention they're also like 17 years older than me but are generally very respectful
Reply 4
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gtty123
22
Original post by Anonymous
I should mention they're also like 17 years older than me but are generally very respectful

This changes things. Now, it's weird. I'd try to sleep on the sofa if I was you.
Reply 5
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TFEU
15
Yeah I wouldn’t do it.
Reply 6
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Anonymous #1
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Original post by gtty123
This changes things. Now, it's weird. I'd try to sleep on the sofa if I was you.

yeah i will do but now feel weird about going at all if being alone in a small flat with me is gonna give them those vibes
Yikes. :eek4:
They sound like a pervy couple why may well be into some very strange kink or polyamorous activities.
I wouldn't come anywhere near their home when they were in and would think twice about housesitting for them too.
Reply 8
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gtty123
22
Original post by Anonymous
yeah i will do but now feel weird about going at all if being alone in a small flat with me is gonna give them those vibes

If you feel uncomfortable, don't go - you'll be better off having not gone.
Reply 9
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Anonymous #1
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Original post by londonmyst
Yikes. :eek4:
They sound like a pervy couple why may well be into some very strange kink or polyamorous activities.
I wouldn't come anywhere near their home when they were in and would think twice about housesitting for them too.

Oh lol by 'they' i just meant him idk why i'm censoring genders
Original post by Anonymous
yeah i will do but now feel weird about going at all if being alone in a small flat with me is gonna give them those vibes

This alone part really really bothers me. I hope they are respectful as you say but so far I don't see it.
Someone who thinks its normal or has the guts and nerve to suggest sleeping in a bed with a much younger vulnerable girl all on her own whom he once liked is a big big big big red flag.
Original post by Anonymous
yeah i will do but now feel weird about going at all if being alone in a small flat with me is gonna give them those vibes


Original post by Anonymous
I should mention they're also like 17 years older than me but are generally very respectful

Don't go near that flat. Big red flag, especially because he used to fancy you and is a guy who is 17 years older than you.
Honestly, it just seems like an inconvenience.

I don’t really know this person or their intentions, but it really just depends.

You might also not know the certain circumstances in their homes which lead to them suggesting their bed, instead of confrontation and calling it a red flag

I would just further ask why you couldn’t sleep on the couch.
Original post by CaptainDuckie
Honestly, it just seems like an inconvenience.

I don’t really know this person or their intentions, but it really just depends.

You might also not know the certain circumstances in their homes which lead to them suggesting their bed, instead of confrontation and calling it a red flag

I would just further ask why you couldn’t sleep on the couch.

There is no issue with me sleeping on the couch when i asked, so i can do that. They had reassured me about a previous female friend sleeping their bed before by saying 'we didn't hookup or anything' even tho i didn't mention sex or hookups. I'll just have to try and ignore what might be going through his head and take my frumpiest Pyjamas and stay out of the way. He also asked if i would like to go to a spa/sauna with him while i was there
Reply 14
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volka
11
He wants to have sex with you - if he says otherwise, he is lying. I personally would rather pay for a hotel room than stay with a guy who is suggesting this,
He totally wants to bang. Be wary.
Original post by Anonymous
There is no issue with me sleeping on the couch when i asked, so i can do that. They had reassured me about a previous female friend sleeping their bed before by saying 'we didn't hookup or anything' even tho i didn't mention sex or hookups. I'll just have to try and ignore what might be going through his head and take my frumpiest Pyjamas and stay out of the way. He also asked if i would like to go to a spa/sauna with him while i was there



Alright. He probably did so because that’s obviously the first assumption. To maybe like prove to you he’s not like that.

I would still just sleep on the couch though, and for the spa, it’s up to you if you want to go.

All just sounds like he’s trying to be nice to me, ngl.
dont tell me ur 17...coz years ago when he fancied you, you were like 14...I think you should end it with this "friend" tbh, sounds weird and groomish
I've shared with mates before but if you're not comfortable then don't.
Don’t. go.

sounds creepy as hell, consider your safety instead of saving some money

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