guy friend asking me to go out but i’ve a bf

hi, so i have a guy friend. we’ve been friends for years and i have a boyfriend. my friend has been asking me to go and do things with him for eg camping and day trips i would love to go. but i keep saying no i’m busy. (even tho i would go but i have a boyfriend and he wouldn’t be happy about me doing things w another guy) he wouldn’t stop me going but i don’t think he’d be thrilled about it.

i love my bf but i feel like i’m being held back from enjoying things in life bc he’d feel insecure or as if i’m going to cheat on him.

not sure what to do

Reply 1

ważzer

Let your boyfriend know about how you feel. Lots of guys do wrestle with insecurity and cheating, and people have only become more aware of it with the likes of relationship forums and the like. However, if he's mature enough he'll make the right decision for both you and him :biggrin:

Reply 2

TFEU

I don’t think my opinion will be too popular but I also wouldn’t go. There is no pointing putting someone I love in an uncomfortable situation. I also know I wouldn’t be too thrilled if my bf went camping alone with a female friend (I’m assuming ur not talking about a group trip), but you might be different.

Would he be comfortable if other friends also went on the trip? Does ur bf know ur guy friend well?
Sometimes it might be the friend he doesn’t trust.

However, if you genuinely feel like he’s ‘holding you back from enjoying life’, it might be best to get a bf who doesn’t care about these things.

(edited 2 years ago)

thank you

Have a nice chat with him regarding your concerns on this issue. Tell him what you said on here and he should feel reassured that you will not cheat.

Reply 5

Anonymous #2

Giving him your reassurance should be enough to alleviate his insecurity, and enable you to enjoy things without feeling guilty. I know you care about him, but it’s not right to feel restricted by someone Xx

Reply 6

Anonymous #3

Well I am actually kinda in a similar situation because I have a guy best friend and he's been my best mate since Nursery but my boyfriend was getting jealous and upset with me when I would bring him up or go on ft with him because my boyfriend has this mindset on where he thinks i might cheat on him. He knows I won't cheat on him but his ex cheated on him for her boy best friend. But the difference is that my boy best friend is my brother from another mother. Honestly I would talk to your boyfriend about it and maybe see if he would tag along with you guys so he can get to know your boy mate a little better and then he would be able to trust you both together without him being there all the time. Relationships are hard when it comes to the best friends but what if he has a girl best friend would you allow him to hang around with her alone whe she has a boyfriend? Sometimes you gotta put yourself in the other persons shoes. That's all I can say but it works both ways so if you can't hang around yout boy bsf then he can't hang out with his girl bsf. Trust works both ways aswell you just gotta trust eachother.

thank you 💜

Original post by Anonymous

don't go if you know it will make your bf uncomfortable..

Reply 9

username5326522

If your boyfriend actually trusted you then you would let you hang out with people of the opposite sex. I wouldn't even care if someone flirted with my partner because I trust my partner to stay loyal

Reply 10

cherlloydfan1

I think that u should go. I used to be like this with my old bf but now that it's happened to me with my guy best friend it makes me sad. Don't stop being friends with someone or doing thing with them just cos ur bf wouldn't like it, it's up to u

Reply 11

Anonymous #4

Original post by Anonymous

If im being honest, your boyfriend should be your bestfriend. By that i mean you should be telling him everything that should be spoken about. You should be communicating with him the most. The question is why do you want to go with this guy? What are you intentions?

Reply 12

Anonymous #4

Original post by cherlloydfan1

Yes it is up to her but the subject here is whether or not its right or wrong

Reply 13

cherlloydfan1

Original post by Anonymous

Yes it is up to her but the subject here is whether or not its right or wrong

I don't think that it's wrong as long as she's not cheating on him

Reply 14

Anonymous #4

Original post by cherlloydfan1

I don't think that it's wrong as long as she's not cheating on him

we dont know the full context of this but if hes uncomfrotable with it they should have a convo about it

Reply 15

Harold Saxon

Surprised at the encouragement of people here for you to go and spend the night with another man, that seems very wrong to me personally. Sure, going out for the day and enjoying yourself with a friend of the opposite sex is fine but spending the night alone? Your partner feeling uncomfortable about that is not being insecure or irrational worrying about being cheated on, I think it's a perfectly rational response to the situation put forward.