The Student Room Group

Age gap

Guy is in his early 30s. Girl in her early 20s.

She seems interested, guy seems interested too but holding back due to how it would be perceived in society.

Frankly, I have seen quite a few of these and I would go for it if it was me and not someone I know. Also guys in their 30s seem more loyal.

So does it bother you when you see such age gaps in relationships?
No, I would see myself dating an older man anyway. Although there will be judgemental stares but love is love?

Age gaps shouldn't be an issue especially in the day and age of society. But of course there will be people you come across that will question it (the bored immature people)
Reply 2
Avatar for Anonymous #1
Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by dingdongbtches
No, I would see myself dating an older man anyway. Although there will be judgemental stares but love is love?

Age gaps shouldn't be an issue especially in the day and age of society. But of course there will be people you come across that will question it (the bored immature people)


That is it. I don't understand the reservation either. I have seen a trans woman (man transitioned into woman) date a trans guy (woman transitioned into man) but I didn't even care.

Gay + Lesbian relationships are openly celebrated these days and no one bats an eyelid.

I don't get where the fear of the age gap in a heterosexual relationship come from. It's not the 1950s and as long as you are 18, they can choose who they date imo too.

It applies to both men and women imo as I have seen more older woman with younger guys now a days too.
People are going to judge you no matter what you do.

If you are quiet, they will say you’re rude
If you talk too much, they will say you’re annoying
If you’re studying for school, they will say your boring

Live life and do what YOU want to do. And stop living your life trying to please others.
No, I'm not bothered by law abiding over 16s choosing to date with a large age gap.
Original post by Anonymous
Guy is in his early 30s. Girl in her early 20s.

She seems interested, guy seems interested too but holding back due to how it would be perceived in society.

Frankly, I have seen quite a few of these and I would go for it if it was me and not someone I know. Also guys in their 30s seem more loyal.

So does it bother you when you see such age gaps in relationships?


To be honest if you go off of dating sites guys aged 30 are the most desirable to women and women aged 18-21 are most desirable to all age demographics of men so that tends to show that age gaps are more common then most of us imagine.
Reply 6
Avatar for Ausickz
Ausickz
10
Once both of you are adults as long as the age gap doesn't exceed 10 years it should be fine but anything more is no bueno for me and this is coming from someone in early 20s who prefer older women.
Original post by Anonymous
Guy is in his early 30s. Girl in her early 20s.

She seems interested, guy seems interested too but holding back due to how it would be perceived in society.

Frankly, I have seen quite a few of these and I would go for it if it was me and not someone I know. Also guys in their 30s seem more loyal.

So does it bother you when you see such age gaps in relationships?

Early 20s vs early 30s... is not that bad. Really, just a bit unusual. People who have a problem with that probably have other problems they should be dealing with instead of sticking their nose in yours.

Late teens and early 30s becomes suspicious. And rapidly so, the younger they are, obviously. Men who target younger women with a very large age gap... I don't trust them so easily. They could be doing it because they have self-esteem issues that undermine their ability to socialise with people their own age. They could be doing it because the difference in life experience gives them the 'upper hand' in the relationship, or in other words, they are controlling and it is easier to exert this influence on younger women.

Or... because they are literally trying to groom her. In your late teens, your identity is still taking shape and is easy to manipulate. Especially true for people who have weak social networks and an unsupportive family, who feel more isolated as a result. Some 'types' of people know how to exploit this, and do.

I know how to exploit it too if I wanted to. I just would feel sick if I did it. Most normal people would. I occasionally have spoken with such younger women... and I feel bad for them and what they're potentially exposing themselves to. Because I've literally heard of some guys speak this way, that they prefer younger women because they're easier to 'mold'. I hate them.
Original post by Anonymous
Guy is in his early 30s. Girl in her early 20s.

She seems interested, guy seems interested too but holding back due to how it would be perceived in society.

Frankly, I have seen quite a few of these and I would go for it if it was me and not someone I know. Also guys in their 30s seem more loyal.

So does it bother you when you see such age gaps in relationships?


There are certain age gaps that can be concerning. Especially since you might get abuse of power and grooming in many forms when the age gap is very large.

So say she's like 24 and he's like 31. That's not too bad in my books, but I can imagine a lot of people would see a problem with that.

But say you had a relationship where she's 20 and he's 45. That's worrying.
The person I am talking about is like the nicest guy ever and always helping people but never expects anything in return. People have actually exploited him a lot before because of his kind nature. Far from people some hate- you know the ones in their 50s-60s exploiting young teens- the perverts/ creeps etc. He is probably the only guy I know who feeds homeless people when he is short on cash himself.

It's one of those things where he fell for someone when he tried his best to keep away and he strongly feels she was hinting at him to make a move as well. At the end of the day you can't help who you fall for. He has nothing but unconditional fondness for her which he can't express because he is afraid society will brand him a creep etc apparantly lol. But, I just hate to see two souls not being able to meet because of this idiotic line of thinking. I have tried but can't change his mind.

Need Cupid to shoot an arrow at him maybe...
btw anon 1 & 3 is me. My password wasn't working for some reason.
Original post by Anonymous
The person I am talking about is like the nicest guy ever and always helping people but never expects anything in return. People have actually exploited him a lot before because of his kind nature. Far from people some hate- you know the ones in their 50s-60s exploiting young teens- the perverts/ creeps etc. He is probably the only guy I know who feeds homeless people when he is short on cash himself.

It's one of those things where he fell for someone when he tried his best to keep away and he strongly feels she was hinting at him to make a move as well. At the end of the day you can't help who you fall for. He has nothing but unconditional fondness for her which he can't express because he is afraid society will brand him a creep etc apparantly lol. But, I just hate to see two souls not being able to meet because of this idiotic line of thinking. I have tried but can't change his mind.

Need Cupid to shoot an arrow at him maybe...

He sounds like a genuine niceguy; selfless, warm hearted, very reserved, lacking in ambition, can't cope with the hostility of others and afraid of what other people's opinions will be of him/his dating life.
Quite often these types are better off alone and focusing on their charitable aims.
Or looking after pet animals that will always be happy to see them & never let them down.

I date with a minimum 15 year age gap and have never been concerned with other people's opinions of my private life.
The oldest guys I dated as a teenager were in their 50 and 60s.
Original post by Anonymous
Guy is in his early 30s. Girl in her early 20s.

She seems interested, guy seems interested too but holding back due to how it would be perceived in society.

Frankly, I have seen quite a few of these and I would go for it if it was me and not someone I know. Also guys in their 30s seem more loyal.

So does it bother you when you see such age gaps in relationships?

I mean if you're not a minor then go for it
Original post by Anonymous
Guy is in his early 30s. Girl in her early 20s.

She seems interested, guy seems interested too but holding back due to how it would be perceived in society.

Frankly, I have seen quite a few of these and I would go for it if it was me and not someone I know. Also guys in their 30s seem more loyal.

So does it bother you when you see such age gaps in relationships?

Personally I don't have too much of a problem with this if it is like early 30s and early 20s if they are in love. If it was someone in their 50s and someone in their 20s then it doesn't sit right with me. Just my opinion

I personally have a limit of 5/6/7 years swing but like when I'm about 28 this will be the case. I have a 5/6 year age gap limit for older than myself right now as I'm in my early 20s but it will change when I get older.
Original post by Anonymous
The person I am talking about is like the nicest guy ever and always helping people but never expects anything in return. People have actually exploited him a lot before because of his kind nature. Far from people some hate- you know the ones in their 50s-60s exploiting young teens- the perverts/ creeps etc. He is probably the only guy I know who feeds homeless people when he is short on cash himself.

It's one of those things where he fell for someone when he tried his best to keep away and he strongly feels she was hinting at him to make a move as well. At the end of the day you can't help who you fall for. He has nothing but unconditional fondness for her which he can't express because he is afraid society will brand him a creep etc apparantly lol. But, I just hate to see two souls not being able to meet because of this idiotic line of thinking. I have tried but can't change his mind.

Need Cupid to shoot an arrow at him maybe...


Where I’m from, Nigeria, that kind of age gap is literally the norm because women prefer mature guy who’d understand if you do something that would be considered childish and would just laugh it off or a guy who will correct you if you’re wrong and is not scared of you. However, the type of men you may have from wherever you are may be different. I see a lot of stigma on American celebrities that are dating older men when they are older enough to make such decisions. Not ever older guy is a psycho or pedophile or groomer. Some are nice and mature and loving.
It's definitely alright to have a large age gap, what matters is whether the relationship works or not, not the age gap, love is love. I mean a 16 year old dating a 50 year old isn't bad in itself, if it works it works, like what Liisharh said. People are going to judge you no matter what you do. If you want to take this to the next level, by marrying, go to Scotland. I mean a 15 year old dating a 50 year old, yes it's a very large age gap but if it works it works, and it's not my business.
Original post by Anonymous
That is it. I don't understand the reservation either. I have seen a trans woman (man transitioned into woman) date a trans guy (woman transitioned into man) but I didn't even care.

Gay + Lesbian relationships are openly celebrated these days and no one bats an eyelid.

I don't get where the fear of the age gap in a heterosexual relationship come from. It's not the 1950s and as long as you are 18, they can choose who they date imo too.

It applies to both men and women imo as I have seen more older woman with younger guys now a days too.

Exactly nowadays people call everything Pedophiliac behaviour. It just doesn't make sense. Age is a number if it goes too over board I understand the concerns but if both parties are in consent and love each other what's the big issue? Its like we are going back in Stone Age when it comes to marrying people older than you with the judgemental stares.
I find a 10 year age gap to be uncomfortable. She has to be too special for me to ignore that age gap.

Quick Reply

Related discussions

Latest

Trending

Trending

Articles for you