Muslim advice on dealing with sexual desires

I came across this website while surfing the internet and I hope that there will be people who will help me out with my situation.
I am a Muslim guy who is 19 years old and is struggling with my sexual urges. I have trouble controlling myself and ends up watching porn and masturbating at times.
But that is not the worst thing about it. I am getting too much involved in these thoughts that they are affecting me badly. They are messing up with my goals in life. I now long for a fulfilling sex life more than I do for a successful career. I feel extremely ashamed of this.
Do you have any advice for me?

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Reply 1

username5655466

Try filling your time with more productive things instead of watching porn.
Maybe work out, maybe start projects with friends, listen to Qur'an, engage in hobbies other than this.
And try not to get addicted to that as it is awfully detrimental.

Reply 2

anosmianAcrimony

Some decidedly un-Muslim advice: The best way to deal with sexual desire is to accept it as something that is normal and natural and not shameful. Best to avoid porn, though, since that can get addictive and also tends to instil really bad ideas and mindsets about sex.

Reply 3

Anonymous #2

I think it’s better for you to ask an imam that’s similar to your age ( around 30s the eldest ) than come on here to ask. This is because the replies most likely won’t be helpful but instead make you thinks it’s okay to continue with your addiction.

If you think it’s too awkward to do that in person, then find the imam’s social media and make a private account asking or ask online on those Islamic online forums explaining your situation.

You’ve already done the right step and identified the problem, but the hard part now is stopping the addiction, I wish you the best!

Reply 4

Anonymous #3

I’m Muslim and I am 20 and female and I can say I was having issues with this when I was 18/19. I just managed to stop myself and I focused on other things in my life, like working/studying, volunteering and watching television programmes that I like.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

Original post by anosmianAcrimony

But they are too much. To the extent that I sometimes think this is more important than a career.

It doesn't :laugh:

Original post by Anonymous

There is nothing wrong with your sexual desires. It's quite normal to have them in your age, as you said you are 19, and it would be again quite normal to have them for a long time, although as time passes they may not be as strong. Sexual desire is a sign of good health not the opposite.

Watching porn is mostly normal in our days but the only issue is when porn or other activities become obsessions.

You shouldn't be ashamed about anything.

The problem here is something else, not your sexual desires...

Reply 8

Anonymous #3

Original post by Anonymous

But they are too much. To the extent that I sometimes think this is more important than a career.

then get married

hahaha

Original post by Anonymous

then get married

How? With an arranged marriage as many Muslims seem to do?

Reply 11

Anonymous #3

Original post by Lucifer323

How? With an arranged marriage as many Muslims seem to do?

Nowadays Muslims don’t rely on arranged marriages. They have someone they are dating already and they get married to them.

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

Original post by Anonymous

Nowadays Muslims don’t rely on arranged marriages. They have someone they are dating already and they get married to them.

I am not dating anyone.
I would be delighted to get married. But I don't think I am prepared to handle the responsibilities that comes with it.
Also, I feel too shy to bring it up in front of my parents this early.

Reply 13

Lucifer323

Original post by Anonymous

Nowadays Muslims don’t rely on arranged marriages. They have someone they are dating already and they get married to them.

Some Muslims do that.

However when you are saying someone this doesn't mean you should get married to them.

Usually on these matters people experiment quite a lot before they find in their opinions the right partner to get married or the right partner to live together. You don't need to be married. Do you realise that? Marriage is facilitated and promoted by religions mainly as a convenient way of living with someone else and having children with them.

Reply 14

Anonymous #3

Original post by Lucifer323

I know you don’t have to be married to them to live together and people do experiment before they find the right person. Islam teaches that you should marry rather than have sex outside marriage hence why I suggested marriage.