My dad said how he wishes I wasn't born in his family. He said that I am a disappointment, and that he's not proud of me. He said that he would beat me(he actually didn't) and mostly blames everything on me. Most of the times he would guilt trip me into something he wants me to do, but I don't want to do by saying "What if I collapsed rn, or died rn what would you do? "You have to do this otherwise this will happen". So you need to do this and that otherwise everyone would laugh at you".
He said my outfit and shoes looks horrible and don't dress good enough for the family. But when I ask him money he never gives me any or would tell me to ask mom, but she wouldn't give me either.
I always try to avoid him, and not talk to him. This can lead me to be in my room all day, not eating, skipping meals and cry at night etc. It's like a vicious cycle, same thing everyday. Also I don't know how to describe him, maybe manipulative? How would you describe him? Emotionally/verbally abusive? And the fact that he said I was born in the wrong family hurts, it's not like I asked to be born is it. I don't know it makes me want to run away at this point. I know this is meant to be a question, I just don't have anybody to talk to so I am venting on here, any advice?