Original post by KatetheLecturerI have seen your later posts - yes, it was: but it's also super-relevant that I was there 20 odd years ago, so it will have changed a *lot*, and it was likely also to do with the fact that I was facing other challenges, and so I didn't do a lot to help myself on this score either - so don't take this as a bad sign! I would say, again, really give it your best shot when you get there - throw yourself into college things, force yourself to talk to other people on your corridor/floor, and really try hard to push yourself out of your comfort zone, and you may well end up one of those people who lives for the college reunion twenty years down the line. But- if you just don't gel with it: that's fine too. You will find friends at work (if you're planning on working), in lectures, on nights out, in societies, in sports, if you are religious at all, through the mosque/church/temple etc, getting chatting to someone when you're reading a book in Costa: in short, in all the normal ways- college is just an extra layer of possibility.
As others have also said, if you don't gel with HB, after first year, no-one will force you to return - people generally live out from second year anyway, but if there are reasons you need to live in, and you really can't bear it, you can apply to change college. It's very unusual - but that's because if people don't gel with their college, they just don't spend time there: but it is possible, for sure, and it's probably easier nowadays. I used to teach at Durham also, until a few years ago, and changes of colleges could be arranged, and I imagine, with greater awareness of, and acceptance of, the wide range of conditions that can impact on students, it may even be more straightforward.
The Bailey isn't all that, either - you'll be much likelier to have to share a room, for starters, never mind a bathroom: and shared bathrooms anything are nothing like they were back in the day (one shower cubicle, and six baths separated by partitions, all in one big room)- they are almost all fully self-contained and secure, it's just that you aren't the only person with the right to access it. Honestly - it's not something to dread, I promise!
I really suggest doing your best not to worry about your allocation right now, focus on getting ready for your first term, and, when you get there, try not to focus on not wanting to be there, and try to turn it into an opportunity: I know this is easier said than done, but for me personally, mindset has really been critical in how I manage things - my life has improved dramatically since I started trying to be Pollyanna about everything (even if it's only because I laugh at myself - "hey, it's actually really great that I missed the bus, and now I have to walk in the rain so I am not late for my class, because the rain will hydrate my skin and help prevent wrinkles"...) as it somehow makes it easier to manage difficult and stressful situations. Give it a go - and good luck!