I was on a train, the Seibu-Shinjuku line. It was late- definitely nearly the last train of the day. I was drunk, going home after spending the day walking 50 km around Tokyo looking for a good hairbrush (which I found, by the way.)
Some drunk salarymen, clearly on their way home, decided to try their luck with me. The bravest of the bunch came up behind me (a foreigner with long lush hair and a fairly slender body, quite rare, no?) and started to fondle me up. They ended up glissading their way down to my lower half, when suddenly, they stopped, as an epiphany washed over them. Yep, they had found something they didn't hope for: a bulge.
I feel sorry for them, but then I remember that Chikan are a big problem on trains over there. Didn't stop me from laughing my arse off (with his fellow salarymen) as he stood there, gripping a white mans package as if it were a vial of holy water for the pontiff himself.