Uh I just want to vent

Soooo uhm
I have this guy I have never met because of COVID and we are only having online classes for now
I do not know how he looks like, but he's pretty cool. He's got great personality and he's very strong in academics.

And uhm so, he sometimes throw a lot of his personal background information at me that I never asked for. It was just like out of sudden that he started sharing...

So now I know so much about him that this is really weird..............
I feel really weird............
really weird........

So last night.....we were chatting about general topics, pretty normal, then he started making transitions into he's personal life about his parents, his medical history, his past, and I was so stunned.

I am not sure what I'm supposed to do with him.
I want to keep him as a friend, but isn't that too much information for a friend-level relationship??
I really don't know what to do with him.
I think I'm just going to ignore this for now...I have my own life problems to deal with....I am so not ready to deal with other people's life problems...

Reply 1

Nightligh

12

Some guys do this it’s show how much he trust u that he sharing his personal life with u I have a male friend who also do this as well it’s normal as his friend u should know about where he coming from and his background it’s shows how he trust u as a friend that he willing to share his personal life with u .

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Nightligh

Some guys do this it’s show how much he trust u that he sharing his personal life with u I have a male friend who also do this as well it’s normal as his friend u should know about where he coming from and his background it’s shows how he trust u as a friend that he willing to share his personal life with u .

Ok..so..it's normal? Ok. Because, honestly, I never had any male friend who's not my BF to go this deep into his background story with me..so deep..
way too deep..I don't even know what to say to him but just "I'm sorry...my condolences"...that is just so weird to me..personally..
I have male friend who would share some snippets of the past life experience with me..but just snippets you know? This guy is like showing every past life detail with me..now I have like a complete picture of how he's like since he was an undergrad student till this point..that's like 10 years since he was in college...

Wow I'm just wow

Reply 3

Napp

22

He trusts you enough to share his life with, hardly a bad thing. Although it would seem apt if he didnt bother talking to you if you dont view friendships as places where people share with each other.

Reply 4

Nightligh

12

Original post by Anonymous

Ok..so..it's normal? Ok. Because, honestly, I never had any male friend who's not my BF to go this deep into his background story with me..so deep..
way too deep..I don't even know what to say to him but just "I'm sorry...my condolences"...that is just so weird to me..personally..
I have male friend who would share some snippets of the past life experience with me..but just snippets you know? This guy is like showing every past life detail with me..now I have like a complete picture of how he's like since he was an undergrad student till this point..that's like 10 years since he was in college...

Wow I'm just wow

Yes it’s normal it’s so hard for guys to tell about their past and background they have to be a men in their family and it’s really hard for them to tell they feelings and background and if they really trust u then they tell u about their past and have a breakdown I’m not saying all guys but some

(edited 2 years ago)

Reply 5

AnonFromEu

13

Original post by Napp

He trusts you enough to share his life with, hardly a bad thing. Although it would seem apt if he didnt bother talking to you if you dont view friendships as places where people share with each other.

''hardly a bad thing''. sure logically it isn't.

Though it sure as hell the fastest way to get friend-zoned lmao.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Napp

He trusts you enough to share his life with, hardly a bad thing. Although it would seem apt if he didnt bother talking to you if you dont view friendships as places where people share with each other.

I share my experience with my friend, but it depends on the topic, no one knows me completely except my mom and my BF. Because I do not know what's the point to share your dark past with just anyone, you know, first off, it's passed, nothing you can do/change but just to move on, second off, it's weakening you, the more you mention in explicit details, the more you are wounded.
Personally, I do not seek sympathy from others, because I can handle my own past. And honestly, I don't think my guy friend is the kind of person like to gain attention/sympathy from his surroundings just by sharing crazy sad background stories, but it's just the way he behaves really confuse me.

Well maybe it's just a "guy thing" that I just never would understand.

Reply 7

Napp

22

Original post by AnonFromEu

''hardly a bad thing''. sure logically it isn't.

Though it sure as hell the fastest way to get friend-zoned lmao.

Nothing wrong with being friendsd with said girl as opposed to the default of trying to jump into their pants..

Reply 8

AnonFromEu

13

Original post by Napp

Nothing wrong with being friendsd with said girl as opposed to the default of trying to jump into their pants..

Friend-zone is a one-sided deal, normally the girl holds the ''power'' so to speak in this case.

Being platonic friends wiith a girl is entirely different then friend-zoning, no interest for sexual/intimacy for either side.

Being friendzone means one person has the ''leverage'' over the other. Because they really like him/her but the feeling is not mutual on the other side, and that can run into some annoying scnearios.

Thats how I see it anyhow, im sure 'friend-zone'' means different things to diff people.

(edited 2 years ago)

Reply 9

Anonymous #2

He just trusts you enough to share or is trying to make conversation because he doesn't know what else to talk about. If you think it's weird then you can give civil answers. I once opened up to a girl about stuff in my life and she wouldn't really respond properly so I took it as a sign that she wasn't very interested and kept my distance until she wanted to talk. Tbf she rarely texted and was stringing me along in the end so he might think you're doing the same if feelings are involved

Reply 10

Napp

22

Original post by AnonFromEu

Friend-zone is a one-sided deal, normally the girl holds the ''power'' so to speak in this case.

Being platonic friends wiith a girl is entirely different then friend-zoning, no interest for sexual/intimacy for either side.

Being friendzone means one person has the ''leverage'' over the other. Because they really like him/her but the feeling is not mutual on the other side, and that can run into some annoying scnearios.

Thats how I see it anyhow, im sure 'friend-zone'' means different things to diff people.

You make it sound overly like a zero sum game and one that presupposes said girl wants to exert some form of control through the blokes feelings, something that i have usually seen to not be the case unless she's a particularly unpleasant person to start with.
After all, its not her fault someone she sees as a friend likes her.

Reply 11

Anonymous #3

You mean he shared a lot of deep info very quickly and in an intense way? it's normal for someone to open up if they trust you, but if he is doing this without knowing much from you maybe he has issues and just needs anyone to listen. These people overshare with strangers sometimes it can make you uncomfortable. I would refrain from giving advice if u r not comfortable so he doesn't rely on you for help with his issues. You could just say something short and consoling, like i'm so sorry to hear that, or suggest him to speak to a professional if it is serious

Reply 12

AnonFromEu

13

Original post by Napp

You make it sound overly like a zero sum game and one that presupposes said girl wants to exert some form of control through the blokes feelings, something that i have usually seen to not be the case unless she's a particularly unpleasant person to start with.
After all, its not her fault someone she sees as a friend likes her.

True, not saying all people have mal-intentions.
I just thikn being in the friend-zone regardless of gender can be odd to deal with, espicially if said crush is already taken...

Uh I just want to vent

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