Lost my virginity but the guy didn’t finish

So I had sex with someone for a really long time (think we were both virgins) but the guy didn’t finish??? I thought teen boys finished so easily does that mean I’m just bad at sex. He was nice about it but kept saying how tight I was and he just never finished. I’m self concious because when my friend lost hers the guy finished

Reply 1

SeikoShinohara

Hi! It is likely that this guy had performance anxiety which inhibited his ability to finish. It is really common, especially if it was his first time. Please do not think that it is something that you have done incorrectly!

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post by SeikoShinohara

Also because I was so tight he couldn’t actyally move it in and out again which was embarrasing like he kept saying “you’re so tight” and at the end the condom was pointless

Reply 3

Crazy Jamie

Careers Forum Helper

Original post by Anonymous

Also because I was so tight he couldn’t actyally move it in and out again which was embarrasing like he kept saying “you’re so tight” and at the end the condom was pointless

The condom wasn't pointless just because he didn't have an orgasm. As much as the risk is extremely low if you're both virgins, condoms also protect against STDs.

There's nothing to feel bad about here. You ask whether you're bad at sex. The reality is you almost certainly both were (and you probably both had performance anxiety, given that you were tight and he couldn't orgasm), but that's not a criticism. It's how you should expect it to be given that you'd never done it before, and he either never had or was certainly very inexperienced. At this very early stage neither of you are even going to know what turns you on individually, let alone how to turn other people on. Like most things you get better at it with time and practice. Next time (and after that) you should do your best to relax and rather than aiming to be really 'good' at it, try to talk to the person you're doing it with and find out as you go what's working for you and what's working for them. Communication it so important with sex. So many couples don't actually talk to each other about sex, but it's how you get better at it and get more out of it. You have a lot to learn, but that's ok. Everyone does in your position and it's nothing to be ashamed of.

Reply 4

StriderHort

Opening night jitters for both. There's nothing like the background thought of 'somethings not quite right here...' to make someone lose focus a bit.

Reply 5

1582

Volunteer Team

Original post by Anonymous

Also because I was so tight he couldn’t actyally move it in and out again which was embarrasing like he kept saying “you’re so tight”

Being "too tight" is caused by not being fully aroused. You need to be properly aroused for the vagina to dilate enough for PIV sex. He can't just ram in it in and hope for the best! Next time relax and spend more time on foreplay and other sex acts in the build-up to PIV - also use lube, it will help.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

Also probably didn’t help that I was sober ... couldn’t relax

Reply 7

Callicious

First time I did it, we were at it for a good 2,5 hours. I didn't finish, though. Lord knows I did what I could to make her enjoy it, but personally I was just so anxious that my guy couldn't spray it out! Still stuck it out though like a champ.

2nd time was way better, both finished (at least twice) and everything was fine. Don't worry, changed condoms. Was also 2,5 hours, though! :lol:

Reply 8

Crazy Jamie

Careers Forum Helper

Original post by Anonymous

Also probably didn’t help that I was sober ... couldn’t relax

Drunk sex isn't the answer. Taking your time to figure out what works for you both is the answer. There aren't any quick fixes here. You both struggled because you're both inexperienced. Getting better at sex is a lot of fun if you approach it in the right way. You just need to acknowledge that you don't really know what you're doing and embrace the process of finding out what works for you.