After a year of getting to know each other, struggling together, experiencing happiness together, growing and developing feeling for each other, he told me this week that he can't be in a relationship now.
It was so unexpected. I was ready to ask him to be my boyfriend, so I asked him how he thought things were going between us in order to get some clarity in my head. Instead of opening up, he closed things off.
We spent the summer together and saw each other almost every day. Our relationship was blossoming and I finally let down my guard and allowed a man in that I could be vulnerable around. He told me "he genuinely enjoyed the time we spent together but he was ignorant as to how close we were getting and where things were going." He said he was scared. But I was scared too, and I wanted to share my fears with him so we could grow together. I just don't understand what has changed.
He told me he still wanted to be there for me. But I told him I needed space to process what was going on. But all I want to do is text him or knock on his door and see him (he lives down the corridor from me). I'm scared to bump into him and what I would have to say. At the same time, I want him to reach out to me and ask me if I'm ok. Just so I know that he actually cares and our "relationship" meant something to him.
I know that I deserve someone better, who will want to be part of me and not just want a piece of me. But I don't know how to move on. I feel so broken inside. We would depend on each other for support and now I feel I have no one.
I want to speak to him so badly to gain some clarity and get some closure but I know that I need time and space from him and talking/seeing him will cause me so much pain. We are both at uni together, in the same accommodation, on the same course and in the same friendship group. I don't know how to move on when we could potentially be around each other a lot.
Do I cut him off completely? Do I try and be civil and friends? Do I tell him how much he's hurt me? Do I wait for him? Please, somebody tell me what to do. My heart hurts so bad