Calling home?

I am going to be doing a teams meeting with the student that called me an abhorrent t*** on Monday

This will be with parents and slt on teams. I’m so nervous. What do I say? I’m almost scared what should I say??

Reply 1

hotpud

Original post by Jammydodger39

Have another member of staff sit with you, record the meeting and say you are recording the meeting. Turn your video off if that is how you want to conduct things. Finally, if you are to talking about the student's behaviour have all your facts written down. Also, print out their behaviour record including merits or house points. Deal a poo sandwich. Deal with the bad stuff first and end by saying what they are good at. Another top tip is to focus only on the student you are talking to and generally speaking if the parent is present, I ignore them and just talk to the student. If the student tries to deflect away from themselves by saying so-and-so was also involved, simply say you will deal with them separately and that they are the focus of the meeting. Also, question the student. Put it to them what they said and ask how they would feel if someone called them that... etc etc.

Good luck!

Reply 2

ThursdaysChild22

You can expect SLT to take the lead in the meeting. You should try to catch up with them before the meeting to check what the approach will be. It is likely that SLT will address the behaviour issues so you should think about how you can express that you see potential in the student (pinpoint this to a specific moment of positive engagement so that they know it isn’t a meaningless compliment) and are offering a fresh start. These meetings are not punitive in nature; they are all about reasserting boundaries and repairing the teacher-student relationship.

If the student complains about the quality of your teaching or your behaviour management during the meeting, try not to engage. If you are expected to respond, you can say that you’re sorry they’ve been feeling that way and ask what you can do to make the lessons work better for them. They are likely to ask for the seating plan to be changed so that they can sit with a friend, at which point every adult in the conversation knows exactly whats up. Do not, at any point, respond defensively or engage in a back and forth with the student or their parent. You need to come across as calm, positive, caring and concerned about the behaviours you have seen.

Be aware that if the student describes any genuine causes for concern in your classroom during the meeting, they are likely to be followed up and investigated by SLT. If this happens, it is worth contacting your union rep immediately after the meeting to let them know what has been reported.

Reply 3

Jammydodger39

Original post by hotpud

Thanks that’s really helpful🙂

Reply 4

hotpud

Original post by Jammydodger39

Thanks that’s really helpful🙂

No worries. It is hard but seriously, make sure someone else is with you for your own protection.

Reply 5

Jammydodger39

Hey Thursdays child. That’s very helpful. I’m feeling nervous. It was optional for me to join but I said I would. Because I feel I need to.

I think it’s so hard when things like that happen to feel ready to repair the damage. Because it was more than just that but it upsets me to type it.

I can honestly say I’m very scared though

Reply 6

Jammydodger39

Original post by hotpud

No worries. It is hard but seriously, make sure someone else is with you for your own protection.

I’ve been informed there’s 9 of us🙂which is a lot and I feel eyes are on me to a degree

Reply 7

hotpud

Original post by Jammydodger39

I’ve been informed there’s 9 of us🙂which is a lot and I feel eyes are on me to a degree

WTF!!!! Just exactly what are 9 people going to bring to such a meeting? I'd turn the video on and then watch the kid at the other end melt! You won't need to say anything.

My goodness. What a toxic situation for all concerned. Can you raise a concern that 9 people at this meeting is overbearing for the student and parent? Either that or it is above your paygrade.

Reply 8

Jammydodger39

Original post by hotpud

Tbh I’m at a point where I’m just nodding my head because I just want to be a good teacher to the students. I feel so bad about myself right now too and feel like I can’t do it so As I said I’m very much of the “yes” mindset

Reply 9

ThursdaysChild22

Original post by Jammydodger39

I’ve been informed there’s 9 of us🙂which is a lot and I feel eyes are on me to a degree

If 9 people are at this meeting and you were given an optional invitation then the student’s behaviour is being taken extremely seriously and no eyes will be on you. You will be expected to say very little, if anything.

Prepare a simple acceptance of an apology along the lines of “thank you for saying that. I really think we can move forward from this and that you can make good progress in (subject) this year.” That’s enough. Write it down on a piece of paper and keep it within sight incase you get flustered during the meeting and need a script. Now that you’ve been a bit more clear about the scale of the meeting, I doubt very much that you will have any input in the meeting beyond this.

You’ll probably find the meeting quite interesting; it is a good learning opportunity to watch how SLT interact with the student and their parent.

Sometimes parents, in a show of making amends, will ask what they can do to support the child in your subject. If they do this, say that is brilliant and tell them that you’ll email them with a list of revision resources for your subject. You can just send them an email with links to some bytesize and OakAcademy pages.

Reply 10

Jammydodger39

So as a previous post said the teams meeting was meant to be Monday but the dad and mum weren’t free on Monday for teams meeting so it was today.

I think I messed up the whole meeting. I spoke with slt after and they said I should have probably verbally said verbatim what the kid did. But I didn’t because I thought we weren’t allowed for some silly reason. I thought we weren’t allowed

Then what happened was the boy was in lessons so I was a bit confused why he wasn’t allowed into the video call?

Reply 11

SarcAndSpark

Original post by Jammydodger39

Hi

I've merged this with your previous thread, as I think it makes more sense with the context there?

In future, I would speak to SLT in advance of the call, and plan a script almost with them, as I think that allows you to present more of a united front.

Honestly, given you weren't required to be there, I would have just left SLT to it. I can understand wanting to know what is said, but it seems like a big meeting, and not like it was the most productive.

I understand you're upset by the child swearing, but I'd try to give them a fresh start if you can- sanction as you would any other student for poor behaviour, praise as you would any other student too. Did the student cause any problems for you yesterday?