Is dating much harder for average guys compared to average women?
Scroll to see replies
If you spent 2-3 days listening to the divorcing heterosexual couples I see at work and watching their body language, you'd soon start pondering:
1) whether those divorcing women actually could have attracted a richer guy willing to marry them or if they were just incredibly lucky to find one idiot with more cash/real estate/other inherited assets than brains,
and
2) reassessing whether every girl you've ever dated or hooked up with secretly held a similar entitled attitude but took the trouble to flawlessly disguise it during the relationship.
1) whether those divorcing women actually could have attracted a richer guy willing to marry them or if they were just incredibly lucky to find one idiot with more cash/real estate/other inherited assets than brains,
and
2) reassessing whether every girl you've ever dated or hooked up with secretly held a similar entitled attitude but took the trouble to flawlessly disguise it during the relationship.
No, it’s not. Many average guys do just fine, myself included.
Dating is hard for a minority of men who either have the social skills of a wet tea towel or constructed a life for themselves with little opportunity to meet women (male dominated work environment/no active social life, etc.). These men take to the internet and are very vocal about their difficulties.
Dating is hard for a minority of men who either have the social skills of a wet tea towel or constructed a life for themselves with little opportunity to meet women (male dominated work environment/no active social life, etc.). These men take to the internet and are very vocal about their difficulties.
(edited 2 years ago)
Original post by !Capercaillie
No, it’s not. Many average guys do just fine, myself included.
Dating is hard for a minority of men who either have the social skills of a wet tea towel or constructed a life for themselves with little opportunity to meet women (male dominated work environment/no active social life, etc.). These men take to the internet and are very vocal about their difficulties.
Dating is hard for a minority of men who either have the social skills of a wet tea towel or constructed a life for themselves with little opportunity to meet women (male dominated work environment/no active social life, etc.). These men take to the internet and are very vocal about their difficulties.
Then maybe those who don’t do well despite being social and meeting new people all the time are below average?
As a general rule yes. What you say makes sense in it's own context.
I just want to be in a relationship with someone I respect. And I don't respect social climbers. She can have less than me, provided she isn't attracted to me for the money or other status-related attributes. But if she has approximately equal "status" to me, then that problem is lessened.
I just want to be in a relationship with someone I respect. And I don't respect social climbers. She can have less than me, provided she isn't attracted to me for the money or other status-related attributes. But if she has approximately equal "status" to me, then that problem is lessened.
well men have always been expected to do most of the work or effort when it comes to attracting a mate, i'm referring to how guys have always been expected to make the first move or approach women, ask them out first, etc.
Original post by H8Courtship217
well men have always been expected to do most of the work or effort when it comes to attracting a mate, i'm referring to how guys have always been expected to make the first move or approach women, ask them out first, etc.
On apps, neither make the first move since both have to mutually like each other before they’re matched. However, most women will get far more matches after the same amount of time spent on dating apps than most men will.
Original post by Lwexi12
a prime example of why its "hard" for guys....here
It’s hard for guys because most guys are invisible to women. Dating apps illustrate this perfectly. Most guys get 0 matches regardless of the amount of effort they put into their profile.
Original post by Anonymous
It’s hard for guys because most guys are invisible to women. Dating apps illustrate this perfectly. Most guys get 0 matches regardless of the amount of effort they put into their profile.
If you are going to sit in your room playing Call of Duty and occasionally swiping on a few Tinder profiles, of course you are going to be invisible to women.
Take responsibility for your situation, put some genuine effort in, and get out there socialising where you'll likely meet women. If you don't, you are just going to remain single.
(edited 2 years ago)
Original post by xxKittyxx
If you are going to sit in your room playing Call of Duty and occasionally swiping on a few Tinder profiles, of course you are going to be invisible to women.
Take responsibility for your situation, put some genuine effort in, and get out there socialising where you'll likely meet women. If you don't, you are just going to remain single.
Take responsibility for your situation, put some genuine effort in, and get out there socialising where you'll likely meet women. If you don't, you are just going to remain single.
I don’t play video games. I’m out all the time. I have a lot of hobbies and I’m always out socialising and meeting new people. I’ve lost count of the number of women I’ve asked out. I’ve never had a yes. I always get rejected.
Original post by xxKittyxx
If you are going to sit in your room playing Call of Duty and occasionally swiping on a few Tinder profiles, of course you are going to be invisible to women.
Take responsibility for your situation, put some genuine effort in, and get out there socialising where you'll likely meet women. If you don't, you are just going to remain single.
Take responsibility for your situation, put some genuine effort in, and get out there socialising where you'll likely meet women. If you don't, you are just going to remain single.
Most men who puts effort into his profile and spends 10 hours a week on tinder and swipes right on every profile, get 0 matches. If most women do the same, they will get alot of matches.
Original post by Anonymous
I don’t play video games. I’m out all the time. I have a lot of hobbies and I’m always out socialising and meeting new people. I’ve lost count of the number of women I’ve asked out. I’ve never had a yes. I always get rejected.
Then you need to ask yourself what you are getting wrong and actively change how you do things.
Original post by Anonymous
Most men who puts effort into his profile and spends 10 hours a week on tinder and swipes right on every profile, get 0 matches. If most women do the same, they will get alot of matches.
Don't assume because you get nowhere, most other men have the same problem you do. Walking around any city and seeing all the men clearly in a relationship with the woman walking alongside them will demonstrate this fact to you.
Reality check time: dating is competitive. You either step up and take responsibility for your life, or you sit around complaining about it. Your choice.
Original post by xxKittyxx
Then you need to ask yourself what you are getting wrong and actively change how you do things.
Don't assume because you get nowhere, most other men have the same problem you do. Walking around any city and seeing all the men clearly in a relationship with the woman walking alongside them will demonstrate this fact to you.
Reality check time: dating is competitive. You either step up and take responsibility for your life, or you sit around complaining about it. Your choice.
Don't assume because you get nowhere, most other men have the same problem you do. Walking around any city and seeing all the men clearly in a relationship with the woman walking alongside them will demonstrate this fact to you.
Reality check time: dating is competitive. You either step up and take responsibility for your life, or you sit around complaining about it. Your choice.
I know plenty of guys in same situation. And also statistics prove it as shown by the links below.
bit.ly/3DAx5tL
bit.ly/3oSdAJ0
bit.ly/3mB2m8I
Original post by xxKittyxx
Then you need to ask yourself what you are getting wrong and actively change how you do things.
Don't assume because you get nowhere, most other men have the same problem you do. Walking around any city and seeing all the men clearly in a relationship with the woman walking alongside them will demonstrate this fact to you.
Reality check time: dating is competitive. You either step up and take responsibility for your life, or you sit around complaining about it. Your choice.
Don't assume because you get nowhere, most other men have the same problem you do. Walking around any city and seeing all the men clearly in a relationship with the woman walking alongside them will demonstrate this fact to you.
Reality check time: dating is competitive. You either step up and take responsibility for your life, or you sit around complaining about it. Your choice.
I have tried over a span of 20 years.
Original post by Anonymous
I know plenty of guys in same situation. And also statistics prove it as shown by the links below.
bit.ly/3DAx5tL
bit.ly/3oSdAJ0
bit.ly/3mB2m8I
bit.ly/3DAx5tL
bit.ly/3oSdAJ0
bit.ly/3mB2m8I
Then get off dating apps. Stop repeating behaviour that results in failure.
Original post by Anonymous
I have tried over a span of 20 years.
Maybe see a therapist or a life coach who can offer you some insight to turn your life around. These are steps you can make to take responsibility for your situation rather than wallowing in your self-pity.
..
(edited 2 years ago)
Original post by CountBread
Are you that boring troll who's ''tried everything" but nothing works cos women only date models etc?
I don’t know who women date. They just dont date me.
Im going to say yes, men have it harder in General.
This is no secret either.
I have to disagree with the first few replies on this thread, most guys DO respect women and don't see them as some kind of prize/trophy, or insert some type of misandrist excuse on why men fail whilst excluding the bigger picture and nit-picking doesn't fly with me...
Why do men have it harder?
I mean logically think about this. Go on google/youtube and you are filled with literally millions of views on ''how to pick up girls/be in a relationship with them'' etc etc.
yet the opposite you do not see that much attraction/viewership on the womens side on ''how to attract males''
Well because women have it easier. matter of FACT that have it so easy most of the time they don't have to put any effort into it apart from saying yes or no to guys that approach them....
Also men are the ones that have to do the approaching, deal with the anxiety, ego hits from rejection, be on point with game and so forth..
Anyone that says men and women are equal in terms of difficulty in dating are either:
A. Women themselves that have zero experience on the other side of the coin, and are just saying this becuase its politically correct to say so, but deep down know its BS unless they are borderline delusional.
B. Men that have it easier then the ''average'' guy in terms of dating so seem to think it translates to every other average joe and it must be men being ''creeps and disrepectful to women'' as the sole reason they have no success with women.
C. Modern day dating stats PROVE that men have it harder, the sexlessness rate for guys has tripled to almost 30% (No sex past year) compared to women, and most is not by choice either...
D. I live in the City centre and go out regularly and can see FIRST HAND gender dynamics, yes men have it harder,will always be and has been harder for male counter parts compared to female...
**** it, even in nature this shows, and humans are no different so... Yes to OPs title..
This is no secret either.
I have to disagree with the first few replies on this thread, most guys DO respect women and don't see them as some kind of prize/trophy, or insert some type of misandrist excuse on why men fail whilst excluding the bigger picture and nit-picking doesn't fly with me...
Why do men have it harder?
I mean logically think about this. Go on google/youtube and you are filled with literally millions of views on ''how to pick up girls/be in a relationship with them'' etc etc.
yet the opposite you do not see that much attraction/viewership on the womens side on ''how to attract males''
Well because women have it easier. matter of FACT that have it so easy most of the time they don't have to put any effort into it apart from saying yes or no to guys that approach them....
Also men are the ones that have to do the approaching, deal with the anxiety, ego hits from rejection, be on point with game and so forth..
Anyone that says men and women are equal in terms of difficulty in dating are either:
A. Women themselves that have zero experience on the other side of the coin, and are just saying this becuase its politically correct to say so, but deep down know its BS unless they are borderline delusional.
B. Men that have it easier then the ''average'' guy in terms of dating so seem to think it translates to every other average joe and it must be men being ''creeps and disrepectful to women'' as the sole reason they have no success with women.
C. Modern day dating stats PROVE that men have it harder, the sexlessness rate for guys has tripled to almost 30% (No sex past year) compared to women, and most is not by choice either...
D. I live in the City centre and go out regularly and can see FIRST HAND gender dynamics, yes men have it harder,will always be and has been harder for male counter parts compared to female...
**** it, even in nature this shows, and humans are no different so... Yes to OPs title..
(edited 2 years ago)
Yes 20% of men get 80% of the sex women are the selectors so they go for men above them.
Original post by Admit-One
Initial thoughts about your link:
One thing I don't think he is accounting for why women might 'like' much fewer men on dating apps than men do women, (it's touched on very briefly). Dating apps are a much safer space for men, in the sense that women don't tend to become angry or abusive if things don't go well, (just broadly speaking, let's not go down the "not all men" route today thank you). So there is a degree of self protection going on there.
Now, the upshot of that is that within the dating app ecosphere, yes, average men might be less 'visible', depending on how matches are made or presented. BUT out in the real world, as others have noted, women are generally more amenable to dating someone is slightly below their relative attractiveness, because they're a bit less superficial and value a lot of different qualities, (again a generalisation, but then again this whole thread is really).
So again, fundamentally, I think both men and women will tend to date people who are a similar match in terms of their socio-economic group and relative attractiveness and I've not seen anything compelling to make me think otherwise.
Disclaimer: I'm an average looking dude with slightly below average pics and I had a very acceptable level of success with a year or so of online dating.
•
It's 6 years old
•
The investigator notes that he "wasn’t getting any hot Tinder dates I had plenty of time to do the math", so he is bias from the outset. (His pen name is "Worst-Online-Dater"!).
•
We don't really know who he is or what his credentials are.
•
He acknowledges the small sample size (27 women interviewed) and that the 'like' figure are self reported (although they match well with other studies)
One thing I don't think he is accounting for why women might 'like' much fewer men on dating apps than men do women, (it's touched on very briefly). Dating apps are a much safer space for men, in the sense that women don't tend to become angry or abusive if things don't go well, (just broadly speaking, let's not go down the "not all men" route today thank you). So there is a degree of self protection going on there.
Now, the upshot of that is that within the dating app ecosphere, yes, average men might be less 'visible', depending on how matches are made or presented. BUT out in the real world, as others have noted, women are generally more amenable to dating someone is slightly below their relative attractiveness, because they're a bit less superficial and value a lot of different qualities, (again a generalisation, but then again this whole thread is really).
So again, fundamentally, I think both men and women will tend to date people who are a similar match in terms of their socio-economic group and relative attractiveness and I've not seen anything compelling to make me think otherwise.
Disclaimer: I'm an average looking dude with slightly below average pics and I had a very acceptable level of success with a year or so of online dating.
That investigator clearly did his PhD in Statistics, a true role model to us all
As any dictator should
Seriously though your comments are always gold :POriginal post by CorporalJin
Im going to say yes, men have it harder in General.
This is no secret either.
I have to disagree with the first few replies on this thread, most guys DO respect women and don't see them as some kind of prize/trophy, or insert some type of misandrist excuse on why men fail whilst excluding the bigger picture and nit-picking doesn't fly with me...
Why do men have it harder?
I mean logically think about this. Go on google/youtube and you are filled with literally millions of views on ''how to pick up girls/be in a relationship with them'' etc etc.
yet the opposite you do not see that much attraction/viewership on the womens side on ''how to attract males''
Well because women have it easier. matter of FACT that have it so easy most of the time they don't have to put any effort into it apart from saying yes or no to guys that approach them....
Also men are the ones that have to do the approaching, deal with the anxiety, ego hits from rejection, be on point with game and so forth..
Anyone that says men and women are equal in terms of difficulty in dating are either:
A. Women themselves that have zero experience on the other side of the coin, and are just saying this becuase its politically correct to say so, but deep down know its BS unless they are borderline delusional.
B. Men that have it easier then the ''average'' guy in terms of dating so seem to think it translates to every other average joe and it must be men being ''creeps and disrepectful to women'' as the sole reason they have no success with women.
C. Modern day dating stats PROVE that men have it harder, the sexlessness rate for guys has tripled to almost 30% (No sex past year) compared to women, and most is not by choice either...
D. I live in the City centre and go out regularly and can see FIRST HAND gender dynamics, yes men have it harder,will always be and has been harder for male counter parts compared to female...
**** it, even in nature this shows, and humans are no different so... Yes to OPs title..
This is no secret either.
I have to disagree with the first few replies on this thread, most guys DO respect women and don't see them as some kind of prize/trophy, or insert some type of misandrist excuse on why men fail whilst excluding the bigger picture and nit-picking doesn't fly with me...
Why do men have it harder?
I mean logically think about this. Go on google/youtube and you are filled with literally millions of views on ''how to pick up girls/be in a relationship with them'' etc etc.
yet the opposite you do not see that much attraction/viewership on the womens side on ''how to attract males''
Well because women have it easier. matter of FACT that have it so easy most of the time they don't have to put any effort into it apart from saying yes or no to guys that approach them....
Also men are the ones that have to do the approaching, deal with the anxiety, ego hits from rejection, be on point with game and so forth..
Anyone that says men and women are equal in terms of difficulty in dating are either:
A. Women themselves that have zero experience on the other side of the coin, and are just saying this becuase its politically correct to say so, but deep down know its BS unless they are borderline delusional.
B. Men that have it easier then the ''average'' guy in terms of dating so seem to think it translates to every other average joe and it must be men being ''creeps and disrepectful to women'' as the sole reason they have no success with women.
C. Modern day dating stats PROVE that men have it harder, the sexlessness rate for guys has tripled to almost 30% (No sex past year) compared to women, and most is not by choice either...
D. I live in the City centre and go out regularly and can see FIRST HAND gender dynamics, yes men have it harder,will always be and has been harder for male counter parts compared to female...
**** it, even in nature this shows, and humans are no different so... Yes to OPs title..
You can also go on YouTube and find videos of ducks playing the drums that have millions of views: YouTube viewer statistics are no basis for a sound argument. Just because I watch a video of some random Peking playing the drums for a few minutes, that doesn't mean I want to slam my **** into some labyrinthine duck ***** now does it?
Anyway, personally I think if you rely on the paradigm of the colosseum of a bunch of guys fighting over a girl, i.e. through dating apps/pubs/bars, then you're obviously going to find a bias favouring the girls. As the best dictator on TSR said, it's a who's-who of thirsty young men fencing each-other with their erections, hoping that one of them will come out on top to claim their prize. If you don't rely on the meat-flute colosseum, and instead look to the case of friends hooking friends up with each-other, workplace hook-ups, that kind of thing, you'll find a different story. Edit: I have the phrase. LAD CULTURE!
This "bias," imo, likely doesn't apply to men who don't associate themselves with the phrase "be on point with game." My own anecdotal evidence to that is that my ex and my current partner were both introduced to me by friends, and clearly this must mean that the bias is favourable to men not women, as I have had two, and they have both only had one! All men must be equal after all, right?
(edited 2 years ago)
Quick Reply
Related discussions
- Question to girls who are 5'3'' and under
- do lesbian girls value height as much as straight girls do?
- Why do I get rejected by girls so much? Am I really unlovable ?
- Do you get fed up if you are not one of the good looking people
- Girls find only 20% of guys attractive
- If you have success on tinder does that mean your at least fairly attractive above av
- Why do ugly guys complain they can't get girls?
- If you're a guy, short means ugly, right?
- Are there any women not obsessed with height?
- Why are some people in denial about the importance of looks?
- Height doesn’t matter
- Is 5,1 too short
- Where does being short start for a guy?
- Is it normal to do way worse on a dating app as a male?
- Why are my arbitio LNAT scores going lower?
- LNAT Prep for 2023/2024 - Using Arbitio
- Why is height such a deal breaker for girls?
- Do you think it is weird to have never been in a relationship at over 30
- I'm 19 and i have urge to lose my virginity. What advice can you give me as a male
- LNAT arbitio vs real thing
Latest
Trending
Last reply 4 days ago
My friend might be getting extra time and i hate it.Last reply 5 days ago
Just found out about UCL stat test but can't afford to sit itLast reply 2 weeks ago
Dad keeps criticising my university degree choiceLast reply 2 weeks ago
Is this pathetic or genuinely something to be upset aboutTrending
Last reply 4 days ago
My friend might be getting extra time and i hate it.Last reply 5 days ago
Just found out about UCL stat test but can't afford to sit itLast reply 2 weeks ago
Dad keeps criticising my university degree choiceLast reply 2 weeks ago
Is this pathetic or genuinely something to be upset about
