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Abuse in an African Household

My father always hits me and hates when I tell him that its wrong(he hits me more when I do).He told me that he doesn't care if I hate him in the future because of the abuse and that he will get loved by my younger siblings and that he doesn't care about me anymore...is this normal?I'm female btw

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Original post by Anonymous
My father always hits me and hates when I tell him that its wrong(he hits me more when I do).He told me that he doesn't care if I hate him in the future because of the abuse and that he will get loved by my younger siblings and that he doesn't care about me anymore...is this normal?I'm female btw

Move out.
No, it obviously isn't normal and you yourself know it isn't if you are referring to it as abuse.
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Original post by Wired_1800
Move out.


i cant...moving out in an African household is very difficult..and besides, I'm already getting threats to drop out because they(Parents) pay my fees and can stop paying whenever they want apparently...and I don't live in the UK
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Original post by black tea
No, it obviously isn't normal and you yourself know it isn't if you are referring to it as abuse.

well, Abuse is very normal where I come from,in fact, its biblical
Get a job - if you haven't already. Create a secret bank account and place all the money you've saved up in it. Then once you've saved a decent amount move out and don't look back. He'll likely try and guilt trip you into coming back or try to make himself the victim but you'll need to ignore him and his manipulation tactics for your own good. You can do well in life. Don't let him hold you back. And if you're not of a legal age like I assumed you were you may need to get CPS involved, for the safety of both you and your younger siblings.
Original post by Anonymous
well, Abuse is very normal where I come from,in fact, its biblical

It's normal in a lot of places. That doesn't change the fact that it is is abuse though.
Original post by Anonymous
i cant...moving out in an African household is very difficult..and besides, I'm already getting threats to drop out because they(Parents) pay my fees and can stop paying whenever they want apparently...and I don't live in the UK

Sadly, you have to accept it until you are capable enough to be your own person.
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Original post by Anonymous
Get a job - if you haven't already. Create a secret bank account and place all the money you've saved up in it. Then once you've saved a decent amount move out and don't look back. He'll likely try and guilt trip you into coming back or try to make himself the victim but you'll need to ignore him and his manipulation tactics for your own good. You can do well in life. Don't let him hold you back. And if you're not of a legal age like I assumed you were you may need to get CPS involved, for the safety of both you and your younger siblings.

I actually working on getting a job in secret as he is likely to restrict me from leaving the house if he finds out,Thank you so much <3
Reply 9
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Original post by black tea
It's normal in a lot of places. That doesn't change the fact that it is is abuse though.

yes i agree but i have read other post when relate to mine and some(other Africans) say that its the right way to raise children which is why I'm confused about whether or not its normal...because it really has a negative effect on me mentally
Original post by Wired_1800
Sadly, you have to accept it until you are capable enough to be your own person.

yes...that may be the option unfortunately
Original post by Anonymous
yes i agree but i have read other post when relate to mine and some(other Africans) say that its the right way to raise children which is why I'm confused about whether or not its normal...because it really has a negative effect on me mentally

My parents also thought it was the right way to raise children. Abuse isn't right though even if it is normalised in some households.
Original post by Slummymummy99
Ss sorry you're experiencing this. No matter what your Dad says or where he is from, abuse is wrong. In the UK physical or mental abuse of children or adults is illegal. It would be good if you could speak to one of your teachers or tutors in the first instance? They should support you and involve appropriate professionals to help and get you somewhere safe. You could also contact Childline UK for help

OP said they are not in the UK
So sorry you're experiencing this. It is wrong, no matter where he is from or what he says. It is abuse and he should be utterly ashamed of himself. As a parent his role is to protect and nurture. Are there any charities or organisations where you are that help women & girls experiencing domestic violence? Could you speak to a teacher or a trusted adult about this as they should be able to get you appropriate help & support. Try to gather some evidence of the abuse. I hope you get some support, as what he is doing is wrong. You should be protected & given a place of safety. Good luck, you are very brave to take the steps to ask for help.
Original post by Anonymous
yes...that may be the option unfortunately

Good luck
Original post by Anonymous
i cant...moving out in an African household is very difficult..and besides, I'm already getting threats to drop out because they(Parents) pay my fees and can stop paying whenever they want apparently...and I don't live in the UK

What country do you live in.

Nobody in this thread will be able to give you meaningful practical advice until you tell us in what country you live in.
Original post by black tea
My parents also thought it was the right way to raise children. Abuse isn't right though even if it is normalised in some households.

Did they regret it at any point? or did you move away from them?
Original post by Anonymous
So sorry you're experiencing this. It is wrong, no matter where he is from or what he says. It is abuse and he should be utterly ashamed of himself. As a parent his role is to protect and nurture. Are there any charities or organisations where you are that help women & girls experiencing domestic violence? Could you speak to a teacher or a trusted adult about this as they should be able to get you appropriate help & support. Try to gather some evidence of the abuse. I hope you get some support, as what he is doing is wrong. You should be protected & given a place of safety. Good luck, you are very brave to take the steps to ask for help.

Thank you so much <3
Original post by Wired_1800
Good luck

Thank you so much <3
Original post by Dunnig Kruger
What country do you live in.

Nobody in this thread will be able to give you meaningful practical advice until you tell us in what country you live in.

I am Nigerian and I live in the middle-east region with my family

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