does he want to break up with me?

No, but you're basically talking to a brick wall.

No point in sugarcoating the problem

That's great to hear!
Not so well, unfortunately. Parents have been over-controlling

dang the brutal honesty, thinking the exact same thing. I personally don't want to have kids either, so no point in me being with someone who absolutely wants to have kids.

sorry to hear that :/


here's the thing tho, i feel like he's not 100% honest with me about the whole thing.

Yes but based on all of your threads talking about him (which is in the dozens now), it is clear that you don't have a good relationship with him (i.e it's Hella Toxic) and you're only with him because he financially supports you (not going to say what the name for that is but should know it).

As others keep telling you the best solution would be to break up (like I never give advice in this Sub forum but even I'm able to see when a relationship is just not working), fulfil your artistic passion whether that's through a job or whatever and maybe find someone else who loves you for who you really are (that you won't financially rely on this time of course or vice versa). Sorry if that's not what you want to hear but sometimes brutal honesty is the only right answer and as Vamps says, there's no point in sugarcoating the problem as @ROTL94 implies, there's no point in asking for advice if you're never going to take that advice (i.e if you're like me stubborn like me and always get upset when things don't go my way) or venting if each time you get annoyed when ≈50%+ of the replies don't take your side.

Looks like im not the only brutally honest person here 😂

Yes but based on all of your threads talking about him (which is in the dozens now), it is clear that you don't have a good relationship with him (i.e it's Hella Toxic) and you're only with him because he financially supports you (not going to say what the name for that is but should know it).

As others keep telling you the best solution would be to break up (like I never give advice in this Sub forum but even I'm able to see when a relationship is just not working), fulfil your artistic passion whether that's through a job or whatever and maybe find someone else who loves you for who you really are (that you won't financially rely on this time of course or vice versa). Sorry if that's not what you want to hear but sometimes brutal honesty is the only right answer and as Vamps says, there's no point in sugarcoating the problem as @ROTL94 implies, there's no point in asking for advice if you're never going to take that advice (i.e if you're like me stubborn like me and always get upset when things don't go my way) or venting if each time you get annoyed when ≈50%+ of the replies don't take your side.

i don't get annoyed. i'm just tired of it all

then you should find someone who truly loves you for who you are? sorry but people keep telling you this but you don't follow the advice. Especially considering that you've cheated on him, shows a clear sign that you need to find someone else, some who appreciates your artistic passion, someone who likes cats etc.

not sure if anyone else could handle me long term tbh
and like, money would be a huge issue too. my dog needs a lot of space, so i'd need a big house with a large garden, my doctors appts are pretty expensive too. it would be a ****ing mess probably. last time i tried to return to work i lasted literally 1 one, then i had to quit

Well then in that case regardless the relationship isn't working, you need to look after your mental health, as others are saying break up etc. No one deserves to be in a toxic relationship and you BF doesn't deserve a cheater. Also need to tell him the truth about cheating. Good communication is key in any relationship. Again I'm not here to give advice really but to point out the obvious more so.

i actually haven't cheated in a pretty long while.. i know i have a lot of flaws but i'm actually trying to be a better partner

cheating once is 1 time too many for someone that you "love". If you're trying to improve then that's great but regardless your relationship is still toxic. Like what do you want people on this thread to do? because we keep giving you the obvious advice you won't take it.

i can't change what's already happened
i don't really 'want' anything.. just needed to vent and sort out my thoughts

No, you don't need a massive house with a huge back garden for a big dog.
You can have a modest home, or a ground floor apartment with only 1 person access to a decent sized garden within walking distance to a park.
You don't need expensive health care, use the NHS like everyone else and get onto Universal credit while you find something to do.
Most people don't usually like to work under someone else. If you don't, figure out a job you can do for yourself that'll suit your timings. Maybe start taxiing with uber.
Stop using him for his money and take control of your own life. Get yourself a hobby. Your mental health is made worse by being idle and constantly thinking about useless things.

Don't really care about addressing the bf issue because clearly you need him too much to move on.

Also. Like to add a great suggestion from another user, instead of making multiple threads and bumping when all you want to do is get out your thoughts, maybe you should make a blog.

ok then fair enough. Still doesn't stop you from telling him the truth but oh well. Even if you can't change it, you should tell him the truth if you truly love him.

No, you don't need a massive house with a huge back garden for a big dog.
You can have a modest home, or a ground floor apartment with only 1 person access to a decent sized garden within walking distance to a park.
You don't need expensive health care, use the NHS like everyone else and get onto Universal credit while you find something to do.
Most people don't usually like to work under someone else. If you don't, figure out a job you can do for yourself that'll suit your timings. Maybe start taxiing with uber.
Stop using him for his money and take control of your own life. Get yourself a hobby. Your mental health is made worse by being idle and constantly thinking about useless things.

Don't really care about addressing the bf issue because clearly you need him too much to move on.

Also. Like to add a great suggestion from another user, instead of making multiple threads and bumping when all you want to do is get out your thoughts, maybe you should make a blog.