Threesome and Bi experience

I feel like your boyfriend is fetishizing WLW relationships which is bad. As a queer girl it makes me uncomfortable when men say things like "lesbian relationships are so hot." Queer women being in relationships is not meant for the male gaze at all.

Anyway that put aside, communication is key here. If you agreed to do it, you need to clearly communicate with the other girl. Tell her that you aren't sure if you're attracted to girls, that this is pure experimentation and set your boundaries. Is it a one time thing? What things are you willing to do and what things would make you uncomfortable? Consent is so important so be clear on what you're consenting to and what you're not consenting to.

Another thing, only agree to it if you truly want to do it. Don't agree with it if you're indifferent about it and just want to make your boyfriend happy. Don't do anything that you're unsure of/uncomfortable with. Only agree if you feel comfortable. (Out of curiosity, have you ever questioned your sexuality before?)

That’s the thing, I don’t know if I truly want to do it. I feel no pressure at all by my bf to have a threesome, he says if the opportunity arises then it’s my call and he’s happy with whatever. I guess it’s the kinda shock of it not being just a little fantasy inside my head but something that could possibly happen if we were to seek it out.

What I’m trying to figure out I would say, is if threesomes are better off just staying in my head or experiencing it. I’m very much for the general mentality of experiencing things to satisfy curiosity, but I obviously don’t want it to end up putting a strain on our relationship if I start to feel some ugly emotions that I otherwise didn’t think would happen.

I’ve been questioning my sexuality my whole life and used different labels that, at the time, felt fitting. The one definitely still lingering is whether I may be bi. I have kissed a girl before and had girl crushes, but not to the same extent that I crushed on guys growing up.

Has anyone felt similarly? What did you do?

I was having a casual conversation with my boyfriend about threesomes and he mentioned how he would be up for FFM but not MFM.

I don’t know if I’m bi, I am curious to try something with a girl (FF) and my bf feels alright with me doing that. I don’t know who I’d even ask to do something like that with, I got great girlfriends but I don’t know their sexuality and if they’ll be up for anything, I don’t wanna ruin our friendship.

The big problem is don’t know how to my process my feelings on these matters, having a threesome or having a bi experience. I am definitely curious but I feel scared at the same time, as if I’m doing something terribly wrong. I don’t know if pursuing these curiosities would leave me with a heavy heart or messy feelings.

Has anyone felt similarly? What did you do?

Omg I completely understand the whole "shock of it not being a little fantasy inside your head anymore". I'm 100% I'm attracted to women, but idk if I'm attracted to guys. I always fantasised scenarios where I'd prove that I'm not lesbian by falling for a guy at uni. Now there's a guy who likes me and I have no idea what to do because I just dk if I like him back lmao. I'm also feeling a weird sense of shock and confusion over how to handle the situation because I never thought it would happen in the first place. I get you.

It'd be better to wait until you want to do it. Take it slow. Maybe have an in depth discussion about it with your boyfriend and think about whether either of you getting jealous is a possibility (because if you're gonna do it you wanna make sure that you don't ruin your relationship). Talk about what could go wrong. But also, don't rush in making the decision. It's ok if it stays a fantasy for now and then you change your mind later. You don't have to decide and do it right now.
Although... if you're already questioning your sexuality it would be a good opportunity to test it out and get some clarity with your boyfriend's knowledge and consent since he already said he'd be cool with it. But definitely talk about it and think about it more and only agree once you're 100% comfortable with the situation.

I’m a straight male but I believe if you’re going to pursue something like this you need to be on equal footing. A relationship is supposed to be a partnership I.e. mutual, equal risk, equal gain.

Risking a friendship isn’t mutual risk, and having a threesome with another female doesn’t sound like equal gain either.

The less aligned you are, the less benefit it has to your relationship.

That’s a good point, I understand his reasons for not wanting another guy involved, but deep down I think I’d be more open to the idea if there was.

Maybe it’s best to put the idea to rest as I’m not feeling terribly great about it, and he’s happy with either outcome.

im bi and personally would not have a threesome when in another relationship and i don't think i'd have it at all. i personally only agree with having sex with the person you love. at the end of the day, it is your life so your choice! if you both are happy to do it then deffo do it if you guys have talked about it but think about your friendship actually and make sure not to ruin any. good luck!

The more I think about it, the more I agree with this. I hear talks about separating sex from love and as much as I try to understand that, I don’t think I can do it. We’ve decided not to do it, and I think it’s for the best

I understand about not wanting to proposition a friend who might get offended totally. I was the same way while I’ve know I’m in no way bi sexual. Because I’m not interested in a relationship with another girl ever! 😂 But also me being me someone with a very high sex drive and curious mind. I had a friend who I wanted to have a sexual encounter with as she’s petite and little like my self. I knew she’s has a high sex drive as we talked about different guys we have sex with. Not wanting to straight out ask her as that would be to awkward if she wasn’t. I asked what the wildest thing she ever did, she was way more advanced 😂. Telling me threesomes and had been with another girl during a threesome several times. I said yeah that’s pretty much mine to try a girl at least once in my life time. She giggled saying she would love to eat my pussy I said I love to eat yours as well. Next thing I knew we was making out and suddenly naked 69ing. It was pretty addicting we have a perfect chemistry and ended up messing around all the time after that. She had allot of dildos and other sex toys I learned allot about my body with her. She had huge dildos like 8-10” long and extremely thick around. I wasn’t sure I could but I definitely can handle allot 😝 I conquered all the toys she had and loved it. The phase with her lasted a few years I’ve shared her dozens of time with my husband.