Met a guy, friendship or more? (LGBT)

OP

Original post by 1582

You've both made quite clear you're interested. Next time don't hesitate to make a move.

You sure it's mutual? And how should I make the first move? Just kiss him or hold his hands first or ask him if he feels the same way?

Reply 3

Omg this is so cute!!! Ahhhh my little gay heart :biggrin:

It definitely sounds like he likes you! Men usually don't send their friends heart emojis or give each other long hugs or call each other special, plus that dinner was literally a date even if you didn't officially call it that :smile:

If you're a bit nervous to make a move, why not just ask him out officially? Say something like 'hey, I've really been enjoying hanging out with you and I feel like there could be more than a friendship here, how would you feel about going on a proper date with me?' -- the worst thing that can happen is he might say no, in which case you can say 'alright, my bad, but let's still be friends' and if he's a decent guy who cares about your friendship, he won't mind that you have some feelings for him :h:

My bf made it clear he like liked me by putting an arm around me while we were watching a movie one night, a fairly small move but it gave me the confidence to cuddle up a bit and one thing led to another kinda thing :smile:

Reply 4

OP

Original post by nathan1403

Omg this is so cute!!! Ahhhh my little gay heart :biggrin:

It definitely sounds like he likes you! Men usually don't send their friends heart emojis or give each other long hugs or call each other special, plus that dinner was literally a date even if you didn't officially call it that :smile:

If you're a bit nervous to make a move, why not just ask him out officially? Say something like 'hey, I've really been enjoying hanging out with you and I feel like there could be more than a friendship here, how would you feel about going on a proper date with me?' -- the worst thing that can happen is he might say no, in which case you can say 'alright, my bad, but let's still be friends' and if he's a decent guy who cares about your friendship, he won't mind that you have some feelings for him :h:

My bf made it clear he like liked me by putting an arm around me while we were watching a movie one night, a fairly small move but it gave me the confidence to cuddle up a bit and one thing led to another kinda thing :smile:

haha thank you, Nathan! You have no idea how much I smiled while reading your response. Like I'm at work right now with this huge grin on my face :blush:

I really really like him. He makes me so happy. And he texted me during the first week we met that I came into his life with ease and it made him really happy. I'm also somewhat of an overthinker so at times I tell myself ok maybe he's just being super friendly or something. He has a project due in 2 weeks and my best friend told me that I shouldn't say anything right now and just let him focus on his project (and try to hang out with him/text him as often as I can during his 'busy period of 2 weeks') and then once he has submitted his exams, confess to him? I dont know, what do you think? Is it a bad idea to say something now? And if I do end up meeting him again this week, what should I do? Tell him, or show him by holding his hands or leaning in for a kiss? The latter sounds terrifying because I'd only do that if I know 100% he's into me.

Aaaah I can't stop thinking about him, he's so cute :colondollar:

Reply 5

Chat Forum Helper, Study Forum Helper

Original post by Anonymous

haha thank you, Nathan! You have no idea how much I smiled while reading your response. Like I'm at work right now with this huge grin on my face :blush:

I really really like him. He makes me so happy. And he texted me during the first week we met that I came into his life with ease and it made him really happy. I'm also somewhat of an overthinker so at times I tell myself ok maybe he's just being super friendly or something. He has a project due in 2 weeks and my best friend told me that I shouldn't say anything right now and just let him focus on his project (and try to hang out with him/text him as often as I can during his 'busy period of 2 weeks') and then once he has submitted his exams, confess to him? I dont know, what do you think? Is it a bad idea to say something now? And if I do end up meeting him again this week, what should I do? Tell him, or show him by holding his hands or leaning in for a kiss? The latter sounds terrifying because I'd only do that if I know 100% he's into me.

Aaaah I can't stop thinking about him, he's so cute :colondollar:

Awwww you sound so lovely!! I really hope things work out for you two :biggrin:

I don't think it's necessarily a bad idea to say something now, but if you are going to say something/make a move/ask him out then make sure he's in a good mood and not stressing out because of exams. If he says he has time to hang out with you this week then you can definitely go for it :smile:

I'm honestly terrible at flirting and making moves but I think going straight in for a kiss may be a bit much! Holding hands is a safer choice or you could even just touch his arm or something and see what happens. When I had my first kiss with my bf he kissed me on the cheek first and said I was cute, then he kept his face close to mine (we bumped noses haha!) so that I could kiss him first, but I was so nervous and confused that I didn't take the hint and it ended up being a bit awkward!

What I would do if I were you is I wouldn't straight-out confess my feelings, I think I'd either ask him to go out on a proper date as more than friends, or I'd try to make a small move such as touching his arm or brushing hands with him and then you can see what happens. If he likes you back (which I'm 99% sure he does), he might make a small move in return and you can have a kiss before you know it :biggrin:

Either way, you have to keep us updated!!

Reply 6

thrivingfrog

21

It sounds like he likes you, and you clearly do, so go for it! Hope it all goes well

Reply 7

OP

Original post by nathan1403

Awwww you sound so lovely!! I really hope things work out for you two :biggrin:

I don't think it's necessarily a bad idea to say something now, but if you are going to say something/make a move/ask him out then make sure he's in a good mood and not stressing out because of exams. If he says he has time to hang out with you this week then you can definitely go for it :smile:

I'm honestly terrible at flirting and making moves but I think going straight in for a kiss may be a bit much! Holding hands is a safer choice or you could even just touch his arm or something and see what happens. When I had my first kiss with my bf he kissed me on the cheek first and said I was cute, then he kept his face close to mine (we bumped noses haha!) so that I could kiss him first, but I was so nervous and confused that I didn't take the hint and it ended up being a bit awkward!

What I would do if I were you is I wouldn't straight-out confess my feelings, I think I'd either ask him to go out on a proper date as more than friends, or I'd try to make a small move such as touching his arm or brushing hands with him and then you can see what happens. If he likes you back (which I'm 99% sure he does), he might make a small move in return and you can have a kiss before you know it :biggrin:

Either way, you have to keep us updated!!

awww thank you, Nathan! You sound great yourself! Thank you so much for your helpful advice.

So do you think it's better if I text him or call him? For instance, if I call him, we'll talk for a bit and stuff and then I can end it with, 'btw, I've really been enjoying hanging out with you and I feel like there could be more than a friendship here, how would you feel about going on a proper date with me?'

That's all I have to say? :blush:

And for sure I'll definitely update u! But he's gonna be stressed till those 2 weeks are over and he submitted his project...shall I wait till he's done? (the wait is gonna be torture though lol). My best friend thinks it's better to wait because telling him anything now is gonna be 'rushed' since we've only met 3 weeks ago and hung out like 5 or 6 times. But I dunno honestly, I feel like if I wait longer, I'm gonna be at risk of being friend-zoned? Or does it work differently in the LGBT community?

Reply 8

OP

Original post by thrivingfrog

It sounds like he likes you, and you clearly do, so go for it! Hope it all goes well

awww thank you so much! Do you reckon I should do it now or wait till he's done submitting his big project in 2 weeks which he's feeling very stressed with?

Reply 9

Original post by Anonymous

awww thank you, Nathan! You sound great yourself! Thank you so much for your helpful advice.

So do you think it's better if I text him or call him? For instance, if I call him, we'll talk for a bit and stuff and then I can end it with, 'btw, I've really been enjoying hanging out with you and I feel like there could be more than a friendship here, how would you feel about going on a proper date with me?'

That's all I have to say? :blush:

And for sure I'll definitely update u! But he's gonna be stressed till those 2 weeks are over and he submitted his project...shall I wait till he's done? (the wait is gonna be torture though lol). My best friend thinks it's better to wait because telling him anything now is gonna be 'rushed' since we've only met 3 weeks ago and hung out like 5 or 6 times. But I dunno honestly, I feel like if I wait longer, I'm gonna be at risk of being friend-zoned? Or does it work differently in the LGBT community?

I don't think it's rushed if you ask him out now, you don't have do go straight to having sex or becoming boyfriends (unless you want to of course!), it's just a date to get to know each other better and enjoy hanging out :h:

Who knows what might happen but obviously it's going to be at your own pace is what I'm trying to say.

I think asking someone out over text isn't as romantic as doing it on the phone or in person, but it's totally fine to do what you said and ask him out the next time you're having a call :smile:

If he's stressed now maybe add that you know he's busy now, but you'd like to go on a proper date once he's submitted his project. If you both like each other then I'm not sure you can even get friend-zoned, although there's the risk of him going on dates with someone else if you don't ask soon, I don't know if he's actively trying to find a bf?

If I were you, I'd ask next time you speak to him on the phone :smile:

Reply 10

OP

Original post by nathan1403

I don't think it's rushed if you ask him out now, you don't have do go straight to having sex or becoming boyfriends (unless you want to of course!), it's just a date to get to know each other better and enjoy hanging out :h:

Who knows what might happen but obviously it's going to be at your own pace is what I'm trying to say.

I think asking someone out over text isn't as romantic as doing it on the phone or in person, but it's totally fine to do what you said and ask him out the next time you're having a call :smile:

If he's stressed now maybe add that you know he's busy now, but you'd like to go on a proper date once he's submitted his project. If you both like each other then I'm not sure you can even get friend-zoned, although there's the risk of him going on dates with someone else if you don't ask soon, I don't know if he's actively trying to find a bf?

If I were you, I'd ask next time you speak to him on the phone :smile:

Thank you so much, Nathan! I'll do that for sure and keep you posted :biggrin:

Reply 11

OP

Original post by nathan1403

I don't think it's rushed if you ask him out now, you don't have do go straight to having sex or becoming boyfriends (unless you want to of course!), it's just a date to get to know each other better and enjoy hanging out :h:

Who knows what might happen but obviously it's going to be at your own pace is what I'm trying to say.

I think asking someone out over text isn't as romantic as doing it on the phone or in person, but it's totally fine to do what you said and ask him out the next time you're having a call :smile:

If he's stressed now maybe add that you know he's busy now, but you'd like to go on a proper date once he's submitted his project. If you both like each other then I'm not sure you can even get friend-zoned, although there's the risk of him going on dates with someone else if you don't ask soon, I don't know if he's actively trying to find a bf?

If I were you, I'd ask next time you speak to him on the phone :smile:

Hello. So just a little update. He called out of the blue today apologizing for not being in touch that much the past few days as he's going through some things and really stressed with work and uni. I told him I totally understand and he said like I told u, I'll really try my best to see you this week and I told him no worries tyt. Then I told him we can just have a casual meet-up where we can grab some dinner and then go sit by the beach and he said sure. So I'm guessing sometime this week we'll meet up and then at night walk/sit by the beach. Do you think this is could be my chance to A) hold his hand (which will show him that I'm totally into him OR B) tell him I wanna take u out on a proper date once you've submitted your project?

Reply 12

Original post by Anonymous

Hello. So just a little update. He called out of the blue today apologizing for not being in touch that much the past few days as he's going through some things and really stressed with work and uni. I told him I totally understand and he said like I told u, I'll really try my best to see you this week and I told him no worries tyt. Then I told him we can just have a casual meet-up where we can grab some dinner and then go sit by the beach and he said sure. So I'm guessing sometime this week we'll meet up and then at night walk/sit by the beach. Do you think this is could be my chance to A) hold his hand (which will show him that I'm totally into him OR B) tell him I wanna take u out on a proper date once you've submitted your project?

It's so nice he called you and wants to hang out! :smile:

I think both options are good options, personally I think I'd rather ask him out because it's not as scary, but you should do whatever you feel comfortable with. I personally don't think he's going to turn you down either way :h:

Reply 13

OP

Original post by nathan1403

It's so nice he called you and wants to hang out! :smile:

I think both options are good options, personally I think I'd rather ask him out because it's not as scary, but you should do whatever you feel comfortable with. I personally don't think he's going to turn you down either way :h:

I think we're going out in 2 days :biggrin:

So I thought of option 3: I've written a poem for him and the twist is that I turned our former Tinder chat into a poem in a way.. so for example, I used some of his convos from Tinder along with my responses, like for instance: "when you said let's keep it open", and I said "I'm looking for friendship", "but now here's me hopin", "that it could be an actual relationship"... you know smt lame like that but he might find cute? lol. And maybe at the end of the poem, I could be like: "I'd love to ask him out again but afraid of his response, shall I just go for it?"

Also, totally off topic but if I offered to help him with his project (so far as suggest doing it completely for him), would he get the hint that I'm doing this because I care for him more than a friend? Or would he think I'm just a really good friend?

Reply 14

Original post by Anonymous

I think we're going out in 2 days :biggrin:

So I thought of option 3: I've written a poem for him and the twist is that I turned our former Tinder chat into a poem in a way.. so for example, I used some of his convos from Tinder along with my responses, like for instance: "when you said let's keep it open", and I said "I'm looking for friendship", "but now here's me hopin", "that it could be an actual relationship"... you know smt lame like that but he might find cute? lol. And maybe at the end of the poem, I could be like: "I'd love to ask him out again but afraid of his response, shall I just go for it?"

Also, totally off topic but if I offered to help him with his project (so far as suggest doing it completely for him), would he get the hint that I'm doing this because I care for him more than a friend? Or would he think I'm just a really good friend?

The poem idea is cute! It's original and creative and to me it shows that you care about him and are really into him :biggrin:

It might be a bit silly but if he likes you back (which he probably does!) he's going to find it so cute!

I think helping someone with a project doesn't necessarily mean you care for him as more than a friend. I think it just shows that you care in general and that he's important to you, which is a nice thing to show in both friendships and romantic relationships :h:

Let me know how it goes when you guys meet up!

Reply 15

OP

Original post by nathan1403

The poem idea is cute! It's original and creative and to me it shows that you care about him and are really into him :biggrin:

It might be a bit silly but if he likes you back (which he probably does!) he's going to find it so cute!

I think helping someone with a project doesn't necessarily mean you care for him as more than a friend. I think it just shows that you care in general and that he's important to you, which is a nice thing to show in both friendships and romantic relationships :h:

Let me know how it goes when you guys meet up!

thank you! every time you say he likes me back, my heart does this little dance haha :blush:

Yesterday, he sent me a voice note saying that he'll be studying all day and stressed out and then a friend of his asked to meet and he told him he couldnt because he has to study and that friend got upset. So I told him dont worry, your friend needs to be more understanding and that your exams come first and that you can always see your friend another time. He responded back saying "Aren't you the sweetest! Thank you for always cheering me up" and sent that kiss emoji. I dunno haha, at times I feel like I'm getting mixed signals and I really reaaaally can't wait anymore and just wanna confess lol

Reply 16

Original post by Anonymous

thank you! every time you say he likes me back, my heart does this little dance haha :blush:

Yesterday, he sent me a voice note saying that he'll be studying all day and stressed out and then a friend of his asked to meet and he told him he couldnt because he has to study and that friend got upset. So I told him dont worry, your friend needs to be more understanding and that your exams come first and that you can always see your friend another time. He responded back saying "Aren't you the sweetest! Thank you for always cheering me up" and sent that kiss emoji. I dunno haha, at times I feel like I'm getting mixed signals and I really reaaaally can't wait anymore and just wanna confess lol

Aww it's so cute hearing you talk about him like that! I really want this to work out omg :biggrin:

Do you have any plans to meet up soon? He does sound stressed so you're definitely doing the right thing by not putting too much pressure on him :smile:

For what it's worth, the only two people who've ever sent me the kiss emoji are my nan and my boyfriend...

Reply 17

OP

Original post by nathan1403

Aww it's so cute hearing you talk about him like that! I really want this to work out omg :biggrin:

Do you have any plans to meet up soon? He does sound stressed so you're definitely doing the right thing by not putting too much pressure on him :smile:

For what it's worth, the only two people who've ever sent me the kiss emoji are my nan and my boyfriend...

Thank you! I really want us to work too :blush:

Yes, I'm meeting him in 2 days! We planned on grabbing some dinner and sitting by the beach. And I'm thinking that's when I'll tell him: "I love spending time with you, you make me so happy. I've also been wanting to tell you something for a while but I'm too shy to come out and say it. So I've written something for you to read instead."

And that's when I'll show him the poem that I've written for him on my phone. The poem is a bit long (2 mins read lol) so that's gonna be the most intense and worst moment of my life because I'll be sooo sooo nervous waiting for his reaction.

The last few lines of the poem are:

It definitely feels like a promising start.
Because after all, I'm following my heart.
One question remains;
If I were to ask you out on a date,
Can we see what's in store for us in fate?

It's so CRINGE I know but ugh what to do :blushing:

And btw for the kiss emoji, it's very normal for male friends to send it to one another in my culture, or even heart emojis for that matter. But still, I'd like to think it has a special meaning coming from him lol

Reply 18

OP

Original post by nathan1403

Aww it's so cute hearing you talk about him like that! I really want this to work out omg :biggrin:

Do you have any plans to meet up soon? He does sound stressed so you're definitely doing the right thing by not putting too much pressure on him :smile:

For what it's worth, the only two people who've ever sent me the kiss emoji are my nan and my boyfriend...

Okay, so we went out last night. As soon as I saw him, I reached in and hugged him and told him 'I promised u a hug cuz you were down so here it is'. Then we grabbed dinner and sat by the beach. I got him a customized bracelet made of lava stones and crystals that apparently de-stresses and brings positive energy (metaphorically since I'm somewhat skeptical of that lol). He loved it and I also got him a Harry Potter notebook since he's a big fan (like me haha).

He played some funny clips from YouTube on his phone and we watched while we ate. And the whole time, I was really thinking about how I can bring up the topic of the poem and tell him to read it off my phone. I was really nervous but I was close to doing it, however, randomly and out of the blue, a guy I used to date called me. This guy is bad news and I honestly haven't spoken to him for years, but he just. called randomly. I ignored the call and at that point, I really distracted and I started thinking why would he call, what does he want, etc. And my thoughts were distracted. At the same time, this guy gets a phone call as well from his friend who's at the hospital and had some serious injuries. And he was quite upset about it and I tried my best to comfort him. But all this to me was a sign that maybe I should hold off and tell/confess my feelings to him another time. My best friend texted me saying 'DO IT', but I couldn't. It had to be done another time. I was upset because I really wanted to know where we stood that night. Sigh. And then when I dropped him home, we hugged again, and then I told him 'I wrote something that I wanted you to read, but next time'. Oh and I also told him 'you're special too, you know,' cuz he told me that the first week we met. He smiled and my heart literally melted.

And then later, he texted me thanking me for a great time and for the gifts and that he had an amazing time, and that I really helped lift his mood and spirits up. I responded back saying "you're very welcome. You're so adorable, you deserve all the happiness in this world. And I really love spending time with you. Whenever we hang out, I feel so happy and I get those positive vibes. You're amazing and smart and unique and so much more special than you give yourself credit for. And about the thing I wrote, I'll let you read it next time because I'm too shy to say it and I express myself better through writing."

Sigh. I had such a lovely dream about him last night, that we hugged for a long time and he told me that he was into me.
Btw, he kept saying he's guilty and feels bad because I'm doing his project and I told him I'm the one who insisted and to stop feeling guilty. Then I told him once I'm done, I'll let you read it and see if it's okay and then you'll tell me what changes to do, things to add, etc. He was like ok but we will meet up for that and I will be sitting with you rather than you emailing it to me. So that kinda made me happy cuz we'll be meeting again soon like in a few days (or till I'm done with his project which is due in like 8 days). So now I just to work on his paper, finish it, and then we'll meet again to discuss it. And after that, we might grab some dinner and I'm thinking I'll just let him read the poem I wrote him in his car after dinner.

So that's the update so far. Sorry it's long.

Reply 19