He paid on the first date, but I don't want to see him again, I feel guilty

I was on the toilet, while he paid for me, so I wasn't able to do anything about that. I don't want to look like a someone, who only used him for a free dinner and then never talk to him again.
What should I do?

'on the toilet'. Lovely image there.

It would be gracious to contact him in person or on the telephone (i.e. not online somehow) to tell him how much you enjoyed the dinner and his company, thank him for taking you out but say that you didn't feel a romantic connexion and didn't want to lead him on. Telling him straight, but with grace, kindness and a lightness of touch so as not to make him feel crushed or hurt his feelings in any way. Yes, it can be done. That would be the grown-up thing to do.

Is this past experience for you, when you give the other person a reality check on your first dates

This can be done via text

DHL tells you when you can expect your parcel to be delivered 'via text'.
EDF tells me when it's time to submit an electricity meter reading 'via text'.
An oaf tells a lady he's taken out on a date that he doesn't want to see her again 'via text'.

DHL tells you when you can expect your parcel to be delivered 'via text'.
EDF tells me when it's time to submit an electricity meter reading 'via text'.
An oaf tells a lady he's taken out on a date that he doesn't want to see her again 'via text'.

DHL tells you when you can expect your parcel to be delivered 'via text'.
EDF tells me when it's time to submit an electricity meter reading 'via text'.
An oaf tells a lady he's taken out on a date that he doesn't want to see her again 'via text'.

Not sure about the point you are making here. Does the fact that you receive texts for more trivial matters somehow undermine this method of communication?

Based on personal experience, text messages are more than sufficient. I would be perfectly content with a concise and respectful message, especially after only one date. People often initiate dates via messages/texts, and many often end them the same way.

The point is that text messages are ubiquitous, impersonal, often annoying and not remotely ideal for communicating messages about matters of the heart. You wouldn't formally reply to a wedding invitation via text, neither would you reply to an invitation to a dinner party - both of these are matters where the person has shown some deep interest in you personally. So why you would tell someone that you no longer wanted to continue to develop a personal relationship with them via text? It's crass and tasteless, and puts me in mind of the (apocryphal) story of Phil Collins divorcing his wife via a fax message - not in terms of extent or seriousness, but in terms of approach and mindset.



Indeed - if you're happy with SMS brush-offs, then that's fine for you. It's not for others, who would find it impersonal, thoughtless and not showing enough care or attention to someone's feelings. It's just good form to actually go to the bother to speak to someone when communication news like this. I understand that life has got more informal, and the old ways of doing things are sometimes seen as not necessary but sometimes the old ways reap dividends. As I said before, it really is a trifle to go to that extra effort to think about others and their feelings before yourself.