I feel like I sexually assaulted someone when drunk… does this count?

Original post by Zarek

If you were kissing and he didn’t tell you to stop what you were doing to his nethers I think you can reasonably assume implied consent.

There isn't such a thing as 'implied consent'. Anything but a sure, sober, comfortable "yes!" is not consent. If a man grabbed a woman's crotch and you said her consent was implied just because she didn't move people would be up in arms. Let's not have double standards in 2022.

Reply 5

Zarek

Original post by CatInTheCorner

There isn't such a thing as 'implied consent'. Anything but a sure, sober, comfortable "yes!" is not consent. If a man grabbed a woman's crotch and you said her consent was implied just because she didn't move people would be up in arms. Let's not have double standards in 2022.

There is such a thing as implied consent but I do agree that this sort of escalation is best avoided when drunk

Reply 6

Surnia

20

Original post by CatInTheCorner

There isn't such a thing as 'implied consent'.

"Verbal consent – also known as express consent – is the clearest form of consent, yet implied consent is also permissible, providing you can prove you reasonably believe consent was given for the sexual act to take place.

Implied consent relies upon non-verbal signals, but these are ambiguous and open to misinterpretation, so you should always be sure that consent from a partner has been given before engaging in any sexual activity."

https://www.lawtonslaw.co.uk/resources/what-is-implied-consent/

Reply 7

Original post by Surnia

"Verbal consent – also known as express consent – is the clearest form of consent, yet implied consent is also permissible, providing you can prove you reasonably believe consent was given for the sexual act to take place.

Implied consent relies upon non-verbal signals, but these are ambiguous and open to misinterpretation, so you should always be sure that consent from a partner has been given before engaging in any sexual activity."

https://www.lawtonslaw.co.uk/resources/what-is-implied-consent/

Cool to know, thanks for pointing me in that direction, but that's a stupid law. How many people have gotten away with implied consent to attack someone? It must be very hard to prove. If someone was too frightened to fight back, or say no, it would be a nightmare for the victims lawyers.

Reply 8

Reality Check

22

Original post by mxgi

See this is exactly why alcohol is forbidden in Islam. I'm glad I'm muslim :smile:

good luck

Your religion has nothing to do with the OP's question.

Reply 9

username5888917

17

Lol how much alcohol did you consume…and why did you that’s just ridiculous. If you know you’ll do something stupid as that why…?

(edited 2 years ago)

Reply 10

Tolgash

Original post by Mohammed1000000

Lol how much alcohol did you consume…and why did you that’s just ridiculous. If you know you’ll do something stupid as that why…?

I do think it's sometimes difficult to predict the full extent of your behaviour when under the influence. Even if this person knew how they would act, they might have forgotten a few drinks in and not have had enough control to stop.

(edited 2 years ago)

Reply 11

username5888917

17

Original post by Tolgash

I do think it's sometimes difficult to predict the full extent of your behaviour when under the influence. Even if this person knew how they would act, they might have forgotten a few drinks in and not have had enough control to stop.

Yeah but people know that alcohol is injurious to health so why consume it still. It’s ridiculous it’s like smoking 🚬 a cigarette or cannabis people know it’ll destroy their lungs in the long-term okay I understand if it’s because of addiction to a drug but why still… what’s the purpose of quitting it as soon as possible then…

Reply 12

Tolgash

Original post by Mohammed1000000

Yeah but people know that alcohol is injurious to health so why consume it still. It’s ridiculous it’s like smoking 🚬 a cigarette or cannabis people know it’ll destroy their lungs in the long-term okay I understand if it’s because of addiction to a drug but why still… what’s the purpose of quitting it as soon as possible then…

I don't have all the answers, but I think that it's just a part of our culture. Smoking cigarettes isn't, but you can't lay a hand on the grip alcohol has on this nation. I think some Britons are even proud of it.

Alcohol in moderation never hurt anyone. You just have to be responsible and sensible with it, and cannabis is even less harmful.

(edited 2 years ago)

Reply 13

username5839543

20

Original post by CatInTheCorner

Cool to know, thanks for pointing me in that direction, but that's a stupid law. How many people have gotten away with implied consent to attack someone? It must be very hard to prove. If someone was too frightened to fight back, or say no, it would be a nightmare for the victims lawyers.

Verbal communication isn't the only form of communication.

Reply 14

Original post by Cancelled Alice

Verbal communication isn't the only form of communication.

Much agreed, but when it's something as important as sex, as someone who was attacked and their excuse was "she didn't move away or say no" I now never feel comfortable until the other party says a verbal, comfortable, confident "yes.". It saves a lot of pain. I was terrified, confused, upset and overwhelmed. But I didn't say no. It was still illegal. Issue is people will read what they want to from non-verbal. My not moving was his argument, it did not mean consent. A verbal, comfortable "yes." is simple, and useful.

(edited 2 years ago)

Reply 15

Bang Outta Order

20

Original post by Reality Check

Your religion has nothing to do with the OP's question.

ffs what a relentless hypocrite that person is

Sexual assault is also quite common in islamic communities and countries as well but anyways :cyber:

Reply 16

LsDad

Wow, how time's have changed

In the words of my daughter, you really are "Deeping" this, please don't give it a second thought. Jeeze. If he didn't like it he would move your hand away and say no - simple.

Seriously, you are making out with a lad and have a quick feel, he will think Christmas has come early. I appreciate that poster @Catin comments "lets not have double standards in 2022" but come on it really is NOT the same thing. Teenage lads in general are up for anything, a girl snogging their face off whilst giving them a quick tug, he wont be complaining i can tell you.

I remember when i was younger, i was at a school disco and it was fairly dark with the lights flashing, my mate Phil was near the corner of the room in a deep kiss with a girl he had just met and she was full on, tossing him off at the same time. Suddenly the music stopped and the lights came on for the end of the disco and there he was in full glory. We had a right laugh i can tell you. He laughs about it now, totally embarrassing, he wasn't complaining or going for counselling, you just move on, all part of the learning curve. Guys just do not think the same as girls do, its how it is.

You go and survey100 teenage guys in your local pub and ask them if a girl was in a passionate kiss with you and tried to feel your todger at the same time would you be complaining? you wouldn't find one guy that would say yes.

Now you can call that a double standard and yes, it probably is, but that's life, guys do not think the same as girls do as i say, we are different.

I suggest you read the book, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus by John Gray you will find it enlightening. Equality is all fine and a good thing but it just doesn't lend itself to EVERY situation. Men and women are essentially different thinking creatures that coexist together, one is not better than the other (equality) but we are different, some might not like this fact but its fundamentally how it is and at times we should recognise that and dare i say it champion it.

Honestly, things were much simpler when i was a teenager i can tell you...

Reply 17

LsDad

Original post by CatInTheCorner

Much agreed, but when it's something as important as sex, as someone who was attacked and their excuse was "she didn't move away or say no" I now never feel comfortable until the other party says a verbal, comfortable, confident "yes.". It saves a lot of pain. I was terrified, confused, upset and overwhelmed. But I didn't say no. It was still illegal. Issue is people will read what they want to from non-verbal. My not moving was his argument, it did not mean consent. A verbal, comfortable "yes." is simple, and useful.

@Catlin,
Sorry to read your earlier reply, your situation sounds just awful.
Whilst i cant know the full details, i just wanted to say that whilst it's no excuse what so ever, the reason this idiot used the excuse "she didn't move away or say no" is because imo MOST guys think that way in relation to if a girl was coming on to them, i.e the situation was reversed, Most guys would say, sod off not interested in that situation. On the flip side guys have to learn a certain amount of restraint with girls and ensure they are consenting, double standard? maybe it is?. No always means No and i would hope in the majority of cases a firm no can be communicated.
Wish you well going forward, take care

Reply 18

black tea

Original post by CatInTheCorner

Cool to know, thanks for pointing me in that direction, but that's a stupid law. How many people have gotten away with implied consent to attack someone? It must be very hard to prove. If someone was too frightened to fight back, or say no, it would be a nightmare for the victims lawyers.

have you ever actually had sex?

Reply 19