The Student Room Group

how do you deal with this?

so basically i dont know what to do, i am from the philippines and this person in my class was talking to someone i dont like and called me a chinese girl with glasses, and now everytime he sees me he gives me dirty looks and mispronounces my name because its somehow funny, this was last week.

and then today, this other person in my class was handing the books out, and was mispronouncing peoples names because he thought it was funny, so when he gave my book to me, he called me obese cause my surname sort of looks like it.

Im insecure of my weight so it kinda hit me, but I dont know what to do.
I sort of don't want anyone to get in trouble because people will call me a snake if I do talk to a teacher. And also Im sort of scared to speak up cos people call me a nerd the people that are saying this stuff are sort of popular. so help me.
Original post by Anonymous
so basically i dont know what to do, i am from the philippines and this person in my class was talking to someone i dont like and called me a chinese girl with glasses, and now everytime he sees me he gives me dirty looks and mispronounces my name because its somehow funny, this was last week.

and then today, this other person in my class was handing the books out, and was mispronouncing peoples names because he thought it was funny, so when he gave my book to me, he called me obese cause my surname sort of looks like it.

Im insecure of my weight so it kinda hit me, but I dont know what to do.
I sort of don't want anyone to get in trouble because people will call me a snake if I do talk to a teacher. And also Im sort of scared to speak up cos people call me a nerd the people that are saying this stuff are sort of popular. so help me.


id punch him ngl
Reply 2
Well if you don't go to your teacher and are determined to deal with this in your own way, own your presence and be at one with yourself. If you are obese well so what, we have all shapes, all sizes and some people with bits missing or not working properly. If you wear glasses so what. If you are nerdy so what (you will go far) just don't let these people get under your skin.

Human nature identifies differences, and pulls jokes, and wants to make themselves look good at the expense of others. But not every body is like this. Some will want to be your friend. If you show that NOTHING at all gets to you - you win - you win every time even though it hurts. However, know when teasing has turned into bullying which some kids will do for power, to keep control and make themselves look good.

Just say thank you very much and smile at someone who scowls at you or gives you books. It's far harder to be horrible to someone who is nice, says nice things to you and makes you feel good about yourself. So be that person that makes others feel good, or gets them laughing with you, not at you.
Turn it all back on them and smile and laugh at their stupidity.

You are the role model for every other person in class who has been ribbed and taunted by just these same horrible people. But they will all need something from you at some time down the line. Probably how to do home work or how to do sums, questions etc use this knowledge wisely.

What are your strengths - hold onto them. Make friends with people other than the horrible one's. Tell people all about the Philippines, so many will not know what it is like. But any time anyone taunt's or teases just show no sign of getting irritated. Eventually they will find new fresh blood to taunt when they realise they can't get any mileage out of you.

If the school has any 'buddy' system use it, it might help you to find your feet. If you have confidence in the school support systems try and talk to someone you trust, teacher, counsellor, helper and ask for advice on how best to get through the next few weeks here. You need to trust someone to help you where they can, and that might even be just to listen to your plight.

You have overcome so many hurdles to get where you are right now. Don't let some self centred class mates spoil your life in a small environment that won't be like that for ever. You are getting ahead and deserve to do well. You class mates have already identified you are very clever, and that might threaten them because they know they are not very bright. Don't turn nastiness back on them but be a role model, tell them when they are being unkind and win this one. I hope you can do really well going forward.
Original post by Anonymous
so basically i dont know what to do, i am from the philippines and this person in my class was talking to someone i dont like and called me a chinese girl with glasses, and now everytime he sees me he gives me dirty looks and mispronounces my name because its somehow funny, this was last week.

and then today, this other person in my class was handing the books out, and was mispronouncing peoples names because he thought it was funny, so when he gave my book to me, he called me obese cause my surname sort of looks like it.

Im insecure of my weight so it kinda hit me, but I dont know what to do.
I sort of don't want anyone to get in trouble because people will call me a snake if I do talk to a teacher. And also Im sort of scared to speak up cos people call me a nerd the people that are saying this stuff are sort of popular. so help me.

I know you are worried and afraid but you need to tell someone - either a parent or teacher. Bullying (that also involves racism) should not be tolerated at any level. You shouldn't have to put with this kind of treatment at school. You are there to learn and deserve to do so in a safe environment.

Tell a teacher you feel comfortable speaking to and they will be able to handle it. They should also let his parents know too, and I am almost certain parents, in general, will want to know if their child is being a racist bully at school. It is not right to behave in such a way, and it's better to tackle this issue sooner rather than later where it could possibly escalate.
Original post by Muttly
Well if you don't go to your teacher and are determined to deal with this in your own way, own your presence and be at one with yourself. If you are obese well so what, we have all shapes, all sizes and some people with bits missing or not working properly. If you wear glasses so what. If you are nerdy so what (you will go far) just don't let these people get under your skin.

Human nature identifies differences, and pulls jokes, and wants to make themselves look good at the expense of others. But not every body is like this. Some will want to be your friend. If you show that NOTHING at all gets to you - you win - you win every time even though it hurts. However, know when teasing has turned into bullying which some kids will do for power, to keep control and make themselves look good.

Just say thank you very much and smile at someone who scowls at you or gives you books. It's far harder to be horrible to someone who is nice, says nice things to you and makes you feel good about yourself. So be that person that makes others feel good, or gets them laughing with you, not at you.
Turn it all back on them and smile and laugh at their stupidity.

You are the role model for every other person in class who has been ribbed and taunted by just these same horrible people. But they will all need something from you at some time down the line. Probably how to do home work or how to do sums, questions etc use this knowledge wisely.

What are your strengths - hold onto them. Make friends with people other than the horrible one's. Tell people all about the Philippines, so many will not know what it is like. But any time anyone taunt's or teases just show no sign of getting irritated. Eventually they will find new fresh blood to taunt when they realise they can't get any mileage out of you.

If the school has any 'buddy' system use it, it might help you to find your feet. If you have confidence in the school support systems try and talk to someone you trust, teacher, counsellor, helper and ask for advice on how best to get through the next few weeks here. You need to trust someone to help you where they can, and that might even be just to listen to your plight.

You have overcome so many hurdles to get where you are right now. Don't let some self centred class mates spoil your life in a small environment that won't be like that for ever. You are getting ahead and deserve to do well. You class mates have already identified you are very clever, and that might threaten them because they know they are not very bright. Don't turn nastiness back on them but be a role model, tell them when they are being unkind and win this one. I hope you can do really well going forward.


I always try to show that I'm not hurt but sometimes it gets to me and people do make fun of me when I get annoyed, and when I do get angry, I cry. I came home from school today and just started crying in my bedroom and wipe away my tears when I step out, I bottle up all my emotions. These people are ruining my mental health. Also, to be honest, I don't really trust any adults in my school like I'm too quiet for people to even notice me, people just think I'm a walking mute. Also being a nerd is literally known as the person who is hated, or the person you can cheat off on a test. I'm just angry right now.
Original post by jenny07
I know you are worried and afraid but you need to tell someone - either a parent or teacher. Bullying (that also involves racism) should not be tolerated at any level. You shouldn't have to put with this kind of treatment at school. You are there to learn and deserve to do so in a safe environment.

Tell a teacher you feel comfortable speaking to and they will be able to handle it. They should also let his parents know too, and I am almost certain parents, in general, will want to know if their child is being a racist bully at school. It is not right to behave in such a way, and it's better to tackle this issue sooner rather than later where it could possibly escalate.

It hasn't really turned into bad bullying yet. And also I don't talk about my problems to my parents cause I don't want the attention same with teachers.
Original post by Anonymous
so basically i dont know what to do, i am from the philippines and this person in my class was talking to someone i dont like and called me a chinese girl with glasses, and now everytime he sees me he gives me dirty looks and mispronounces my name because its somehow funny, this was last week.

and then today, this other person in my class was handing the books out, and was mispronouncing peoples names because he thought it was funny, so when he gave my book to me, he called me obese cause my surname sort of looks like it.

Im insecure of my weight so it kinda hit me, but I dont know what to do.
I sort of don't want anyone to get in trouble because people will call me a snake if I do talk to a teacher. And also Im sort of scared to speak up cos people call me a nerd the people that are saying this stuff are sort of popular. so help me.

Have you considered speaking to your Head of Year? Racism and discrimination should not be tolerated and handled lightly equality matters, don’t be afraid in a good sense to be known or called the snake because if you don’t snitch up in other words they’ll never learn and neither will you seek anything back when you rightfully should it’s the difference between having the opportunity to getting rid of toxic atmosphere within that classroom of yours by potentially them getting excluded or having to face being abused and picked on because they are misunderstanding your race, and your overall physical appearance and shape.
Show racism the red card.
Original post by Mohammed_80
Have you considered speaking to your Head of Year? Racism and discrimination should not be tolerated and handled lightly equality matters, don’t be afraid in a good sense to be known or called the snake because if you don’t snitch up in other words they’ll never learn and neither will you seek anything back when you rightfully should it’s the difference between having the opportunity to getting rid of toxic atmosphere within that classroom of yours by potentially them getting excluded or having to face being abused and picked on because they are misunderstanding your race, and your overall physical appearance and shape.


Yeah, i have.
Original post by Mohammed_80
Show racism the red card.


I'm sorry but what do you mean?
Original post by Anonymous
I'm sorry but what do you mean?

There’s no room for racism or discrimination. It’s best if you speak to your subject tutor serious things and consequences can happen because of continuous hate crime and the sooner a teacher knows the better not only that as I reiterated it’s the difference between a permanent exclusion for that student or having to face constantly being bullied, abused by them.
Original post by Mohammed_80
There’s no room for racism or discrimination. It’s best if you speak to your subject tutor serious things and consequences can happen because of continuous hate crime and the sooner a teacher knows the better not only that as I reiterated it’s the difference between a permanent exclusion for that student or having to face constantly being bullied, abused by them.


Oh yeah. I've decided to speak to my head of year tomorrow. Hopefully they can sort it. Thank you for helping.
Original post by Anonymous
Oh yeah. I've decided to speak to my head of year tomorrow. Hopefully they can sort it. Thank you for helping.

You are most welcome I cannot imagine how you must be feeling going through it but nevertheless I credit how you’ve handled it some would lose their composure and control and in the end both would be in trouble as a result of conflict taking place but you’ve handled it with extreme caution, calmness and professionally and I truly hope that bully gets punished let’s hope for a permanent exclusion 🤞🏽👏🏽.
Original post by Mohammed_80
You are most welcome I cannot imagine how you must be feeling going through it but nevertheless I credit how you’ve handled it some would lose their composure and control and in the end both would be in trouble as a result of conflict taking place but you’ve handled it with extreme caution, calmness and professionally and I truly hope that bully gets punished let’s hope for a permanent exclusion 🤞🏽👏🏽.


Thank you! I will tell you what happens. Have a great day.
Original post by Anonymous
Thank you! I will tell you what happens. Have a great day.

Have a wonderful day and stay safe.
Original post by Mohammed_80
Have a wonderful day and stay safe.


hey, just wondering this happened a while ago but I still remember it. basically I was in science and i don't know what really happened, i think someone on my table asked my teacher where she was from then, after that she asked where i was from and before i answered she said are you chinese, and as you know I'm from the Philippines, I really hate the teacher too.
Original post by Anonymous
hey, just wondering this happened a while ago but I still remember it. basically I was in science and i don't know what really happened, i think someone on my table asked my teacher where she was from then, after that she asked where i was from and before i answered she said are you chinese, and as you know I'm from the Philippines, I really hate the teacher too.

More or less sensible to speak to a head of year.
Original post by Mohammed_80
More or less sensible to speak to a head of year.


what do you think they will do?
Original post by Anonymous
what do you think they will do?

Your head of year will speak to two people your subject teacher who is aware of what happened and they’ll talk to the bully (student) and they’ll decide the best course of action whether moving classes, permanent exclusion or a meeting with parents even moving to a separate school.
Original post by Anonymous
so basically i dont know what to do, i am from the philippines and this person in my class was talking to someone i dont like and called me a chinese girl with glasses, and now everytime he sees me he gives me dirty looks and mispronounces my name because its somehow funny, this was last week.

and then today, this other person in my class was handing the books out, and was mispronouncing peoples names because he thought it was funny, so when he gave my book to me, he called me obese cause my surname sort of looks like it.

Im insecure of my weight so it kinda hit me, but I dont know what to do.
I sort of don't want anyone to get in trouble because people will call me a snake if I do talk to a teacher. And also Im sort of scared to speak up cos people call me a nerd the people that are saying this stuff are sort of popular. so help me.


Find out his weakness and pick on it once and tell him i hate to do that but just wanted to show you how it feels and that you are not completely perfect. also answer and live with confidence i bet this person is so stupid and highest score he gets is a D, LOL

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