The Student Room Group

Failing 2nd Year

No matter how much I revise, I cannot seem to do any exams in university without getting really angry and upset. I feel like I am going to fail 2nd year after a bad exam today. Great... back to feeling useless.
You need to learn how to make peace with yourself and love yourself. Things won't get better if you are always putting yourself down. You need to develop a more sustainable way to how you approach things, instead of this relationship of loathing.
Original post by Feastful
You need to learn how to make peace with yourself and love yourself. Things won't get better if you are always putting yourself down. You need to develop a more sustainable way to how you approach things, instead of this relationship of loathing.

I very rarely even feel anything positive. I am just lesser than everyone all the time
Why do you feel angry?
Original post by gtty123
Why do you feel angry?


Frustration at not being able to complete questions that I have revised for, frustrated that my mental capacity just seems to be getting worse and worse and that the only thing I am interested in that I am studying for is going out the window.
Original post by Anonymous
I very rarely even feel anything positive. I am just lesser than everyone all the time


That's a mindset, not a reality. And you can change a lot about your real life with the right attitudes. Don't become a self-fulfilling prophecy of doom & gloom!

Nobody can live your life for you, but you. And this isn't a dress rehersal. Life is hard and you gotta fight for your right to happiness sometimes.

If you are suffering from depression, then it is important to speak to a health professional about stuff (your college/uni should have free counsellors, or speak to your GP).

Develop a proactive approach to dealing with things. If there are things that you want to change about your life, then either see what you can do to change them, or what you can do to compromise or make peace with them. Every day you are making a hundred little decisions, from the foods you eat, to when you go to bed, how much you study, what thoughts you focus on and more (and all these add up). Empower yourself by realizing what you can do, instead of just focusing on what you can't change or don't like (but then doing nothing about it). Take responsibility for yourself and you will start taking control of your life by the reins.

Maybe you are failing right now, maybe you aren't. But your mindset is not good either way. You gotta stop putting yourself down and instead start doing things to help raise yourself up. I'm sure you are doing just fine in your exams but even if you aren't, its only the 2nd year and there is a lot you can do to change the course of everything in your life. Use this as your wakeup call to start turning things around.
(edited 1 year ago)
Original post by Feastful
That's a mindset, not a reality. And you can change a lot about your real life with the right attitudes. Don't become a self-fulfilling prophecy of doom & gloom!

Nobody can live your life for you, but you. And this isn't a dress rehersal. Life is hard and you gotta fight for your right to happiness sometimes.

If you are suffering from depression, then it is important to speak to a health professional about stuff (your college/uni should have free counsellors, or speak to your GP).

Develop a proactive approach to dealing with things. If there are things about your life, then either see what you can do to change them, or what you can do to compromise or make peace with them. Every day you are making a hundred little decisions, from the foods you eat, to when you go to bed, how much you study, what thoughts you focus on and more (and all these add up). Empower yourself by realizing what you can do, instead of just focus on what you can't change. Take responsibility for yourself and you will can start taking control of your life by the reins.

Maybe you are failing right now, maybe you aren't. But your mindset is not good either way. You gotta stop putting yourself down and instead start doing things to raise yourself up. I'm sure you are doing just fine in your exams but even if you aren't, its only the 2nd year and there is a lot you can do to change the course of everything in your life right now. Use this as your wakeup call to start turning things around!

I have tried counselling over the phone in the 1st year of university but it doesn't do anything at all. It was pretty much useless. I just don't have anything else I'm interested I can do as a job and i'm really unsure on what I can do now for the future.
Original post by Anonymous
Frustration at not being able to complete questions that I have revised for, frustrated that my mental capacity just seems to be getting worse and worse and that the only thing I am interested in that I am studying for is going out the window.

I mean, if the questions you revised always came up, then what would be the point?
Original post by gtty123
I mean, if the questions you revised always came up, then what would be the point?


True, but its more the frustration from problems solving skills getting worse over time.
Original post by Anonymous
I have tried counselling over the phone in the 1st year of university but it doesn't do anything at all. It was pretty much useless. I just don't have anything else I'm interested I can do as a job and i'm really unsure on what I can do now for the future.


You get out of counselling what you put in. If you aren't ready for it then it won't do you a lot of good if you are just trying to force yourself to go throw the motions; you really got to desire to change and be willing to put in the necessary work to change your life and the relationship with have with yourself. It is also very important to have a counsellor that you actually connect with (if you don't vibe with your counsellor then its important to change counsellor).

Its down to you to connect with this world, with life around you. If you are feeling depressed then that will be hard, but that's all the more reason to work hard so that you can break the cycle.

Don't sweat the big stuff too much. So what if you don't know what you really want to do in life! A lot of people don't know what they really want to do until sometimes after they've been to uni. And not everyone is destined for grand things in life (but that's just fine). But you figure stuff out by applying yourself to life, working jobs, persisting with your course, exploring new avenues, connecting with people and generally just keeping at it.

The things which are guarenteed NOT going to help you, are closing yourself off from the world, stacking insurmountable amounts of pressure on yourself to figure stuff out (and beating yourself up for not having your life together or totally sussed out), giving up effort and withdrawing from people around you. These things, will only stifle your development, close off your opportunities, stagnate your life and dig a deep hole that will become increasingly difficult to get out of.

Even if you think that you might be doing the wrong course at this point, it is still important to not give up. A completed Degree still says a lot about you, such as your perseverance, discipline and fortitude. A completed degree can still be used to help apply for jobs, for other courses and more. It might not directly lead to the path you really want to do (if you even know what to do), but it is still very valuable for being something that you saw through to the end.

So keep at it and chin up.
A lot of people are struggling at uni, they just don't talk about it. You're not alone. Most people regard the 2nd year of uni as the toughest year of uni. You need to learn to be kinder to yourself. Start with the small things, such as cooking yourself a nice healthy meal tonight and switching off early. Read a book tonight and get a good nights rest. And start focusing on nipping those negative thought habits; you need to train yourself into a new cycle and a much better relationship with yourself (you can do it!).
Original post by Anonymous
True, but its more the frustration from problems solving skills getting worse over time.


How can you solve any problems with such a deafest attitude from the outset?
πŸ˜”πŸ˜‚
I would drop out. Why struggle with something for the next year if you are so unhappy?
Original post by Thisismyunitsr
I would drop out. Why struggle with something for the next year if you are so unhappy?


I have no other options though, I am interested in absolutely nothing else.
Original post by Anonymous
I have no other options though, I am interested in absolutely nothing else.

Get any old job then. Start volunteering or do a minimum wage job or something idk
Original post by Thisismyunitsr
I would drop out. Why struggle with something for the next year if you are so unhappy?


I would personally recommend against dropping out midway on a 3 year long course, a qualification can always be used for something but a failed course can be used for nothing. Also, its not like you will get a refund on the money spent. And, it sounds like this person is fundamentally unhappy (as opposed to simply being unhappy because of what they're studying); better life approach, dealing with the depression and other things would all be a better solutions than just quitting.
Original post by Anonymous
I have no other options though, I am interested in absolutely nothing else.


People can offer you all the advice in the world but if you don't actually make the effort to help yourself, then everything will amount to nothing.
(edited 1 year ago)
Original post by Feastful
I would personally recommend against dropping out midway on a 3 year long course, a qualification can always be used for something but a failed course can be used for nothing. Also, its not like you will get a refund on the money spent. And, it sounds like this person is fundamentally unhappy (as opposed to simply being unhappy because of what they're studying); better life approach, dealing with the depression and other things would all be a better solutions than just quitting.

I am In a similar position to OP and I am also considering dropping out in the second year I genuinely don’t give a **** about the money spent or the debt. I am so unhappy and physically and mentally sick of the whole thing that I no longer want to proceed. I’ll be unemployed (again) when I graduate so why ****ing bother.

Being in Β£16,000 worth of debt is better than being in Β£27,000 worth of debt.
Original post by Feastful
People can offer you all the advice in the world but if you don't actually make the effort to help yourself, then everything will amount to nothing.


Thank you for the advice, I do really appreciate it. I am in a much better state of mind today. I am feeling a lot more positive and I feel like I do need to step up a bit in how I approach my mindset. I am working towards the next exam as much as I can and I feel like I am in a much better position to complete it. :smile:

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