Thoughts Average Looking

Well, no, they can't...

Just look around you. There are average, 'ugly' and 'attractive' people in relationships.

So what would be your tips especially for myself. I really believe online dating could work but it’s just about finding that one person out there which is difficult.

Hello just wanted thoughts on whether or not average looking guys are able to attract girls. I am average looking myself, yet I get told from working with colleagues that I am a polite gentleman, and from their experience from having known me from a long time they know I am able to take care of a girl properly because of my polite, caring and affection nature and personality. Although I’d like your experience can being average looking actually attract girls or is that something that puts one off especially with such a humorous, gentle and humble personality. And if you consider being average looking yourself and tried out various dating apps or app did you manage to get any success?

Thank you!

Hello just wanted thoughts on whether or not average looking guys are able to attract girls. I am average looking myself, yet I get told from working with colleagues that I am a polite gentleman, and from their experience from having known me from a long time they know I am able to take care of a girl properly because of my polite, caring and affection nature and personality. Although I’d like your experience can being average looking actually attract girls or is that something that puts one off especially with such a humorous, gentle and humble personality. And if you consider being average looking yourself and tried out various dating apps or app did you manage to get any success?

Thank you!

Average looking guys can certainly attract girls. I'm not sure why you needed an answer to this question.
I don't think the state of being average will necessarily attract girls but it certainly won't be off-putting to most.

To have people actively coming on to you, you need to be well above average. Everyone else has to work hard for it, but of course you can be successful

I don't use apps, nor will I ever use them - I think they're quite 'luck' based - i.e. you will only find a match rarely and they'd be decent.

In terms of advice, just do your thing.

Hi,

I don't think being "average" looking is ever going to be off-putting to anyone... but at the same time there's nothing about being "average" that is likely to draw / entice people towards you.

As I said in another thread, girls will date someone because they see something in that person that they like; it's not often they'll date someone for the sake of it (unless, they're particularly lonely / desperate, perhaps). So I suggest you have a think about your own attributes that make you special and treat it as a marketing exercise.

Regardless of what these so-called incels may tell you, girls can be attracted to all different types of guys. Sure being having height, good looks and an athletic physique will help, but that's just ONE example of how you can make yourself stand out there are several other ways you can do it. You don't have to be good looking, but it helps if you've got something that women will like. I mean, taking the pretty girls you see on a night out into isolation, there is still a massive scope of guys they can go for, completely excluding the so-called "Chad".

For example, if you flash the cash, sling the bling etc. you'll be attractive to the Gold-digging types. You can normally spot these kinds hanging around the VIP areas of a nightclub, the WAG wannabe's who are immaculately presented with their big-hair; designer labels; fake tans and fake chests etc. These girls have a lot of game and are (generally) less concerned with how classically good looking someone is... but they're after a guy with MONEY, so you have to dress and act the part. They want all the trappings of wealth, so you'd need a nice place to live in an affluent area; a luxury car; treated to exotic holidays and expensive nights on the town. Basically you'd need to be prepared to throw a lot of money at them.

On the other hand, if you act like the baddedst "mother-lover" in the house, then you're more likely to appeal to the girls who crave fun & excitement. These are normally the ones who were the cool kids at school (e.g. a badass brunette or an ice-cool blonde), who always dress in a way to show off that killer body of theirs. . They enjoy the status of having an Strong tough guy (e.g. Alpha male), so there's some benefits in the old "treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen" philosophy (not that I condone this) ... they also tend to love sex, so if you can show them a good time in the bedroom (or wherever takes your fancy) you'll have them hooked. They also tend to be quite young (e.g. teenagers, early 20's; they normally grow out of it by their mid-late 20's) so make the most of it.

If you can strut your stuff and have got the moves to make Usher, Chris Brown and Justin Timberlake jealous, then you'll attract the more creative / expressive types. They can adopt various looks / persona's but they're distinguished in that they tend to have very high energy levels (think Children's TV presenter on acid lol). She'll test your moves and see if you can match that in the bedroom. On the other hand, if you can show you're a good listener / conversationalist; show that you've got a cheeky (but not offensive) sense of humour; mention things like having your own place and realistic career aspirations, then you'll connect with those good girls, who just want to meet a decent guy without all the BS.

Again, the above are just examples, and they're centred around the more attractive girls who may frequent the party scene. If you expand that to all different kinds of girls, then obviously there's a lot more things average guys can do to make themselves more attractive... they just need to know what they can offer girls, and treat it as an advertising / marketing exercise. If you think about it hard enough, I'm sure there's something you can use in your arsenal?

Work hard in what ways would you mean? Appearance wise, personality wise etc?

I was the flash the cash, sling the bling ;/ and I did get gold-digged on emotionally blackmailed, played and cheated on.

Just be myself if that’s what you meant thank you and I’ll try .

Yeah, in every possible way. Your looks are down to genetics and some people are unfortunate to be small or have low metabolism or have an unattractive facial structure. Those things can be improved by going to the gym and you will need to work much harder to achieve those 'model' looks compared to a guy who already has naturally supermodel looks.

Also, another thing that I wanted to tell you is that niceness in itself is not attractive to girls. Being polite or a gentleman is a bare minimum that some girls expect from a guy and it doesn't really bring anything to the table. Girls are attracted to money, social status and looks. Your personality only comes last when they decide if you're the person that they could settle down with, but niceness or being a gentleman is not an attractive trait in itself. There are plenty of guys who have criminal records, smoke weed, do drugs and do f**k all with their lives, but they still get laid, because they still have the fundamentals that attract a girl. E.g strong jawline, good six pack, bad boy attitude and being very tall or muscly. I guess you could say that treating girls badly and being a bad boy is seen as more attractive by girls than being a nice gentleman. Most girls love the alpha male types or the chad types. If you're not in this category, it will be very hard for you to get with anyone.

Typical retort from an incel who spends their life on internet forums instead of putting himself out there

You don't get a muscles or a nice six pack from smoking weed all day and doing f**k all.

You're making some big assumptions there. I have put myself out there more than enough and I can tell from my experience alone that girls pursue d***bags more than anyone else. I don't want to put myself out there because I have already seen enough bs in real life.

The point that I was trying to make was that niceness will usually not get you anywhere. Niceness will only give people are reason to treat you like sh!t. Unfortunately, you only understand that when you grow up. It's very hard to find someone who appreciates you as a person. Most people, including your friends are only there with you because of your 'money', 'fame' or 'good looks' or whatever else.

Well that's evidence that "flashing the cash" works, no? It's a formula that works for a lot of people. Maybe it doesn't attract the kind of girls you want, maybe you were unlucky with her, or maybe there were other aspects that led to her treating you badly... either way, I can't comment on that, that's more something for you to think about. On the other hand, if you want to avoid meeting anyone like that in future, then you know not to be so flash in future.

As I said, those were just examples, what other tools have you got in your arsenal? You say you're polite, but are you actually a fun / interesting person to be around? Do you have any hobbies / interests? What's your sense of style like? Can you work on getting exceptionally good at something?



Although sayings such as "be yourself" are often said with the best intentions, I don't think they're particularly useful when said to someone who is already struggling with girls... it kind of implies 'just carry on, and your perfect girl will fall on your lap at some point, promise'. Given there's at least one middle aged male here who admits they've never had any contact with girls at all, it's evident you need to be more pro-active. I'm a much bigger fan of the saying

"Be yourself, and assert yourself"

Yeah, in every possible way. Your looks are down to genetics and some people are unfortunate to be small or have low metabolism or have an unattractive facial structure. Those things can be improved by going to the gym and you will need to work much harder to achieve those 'model' looks compared to a guy who already has naturally supermodel looks.

Also, another thing that I wanted to tell you is that niceness in itself is not attractive to girls. Being polite or a gentleman is a bare minimum that some girls expect from a guy and it doesn't really bring anything to the table. Girls are attracted to money, social status and looks. Your personality only comes last when they decide if you're the person that they could settle down with, but niceness or being a gentleman is not an attractive trait in itself. There are plenty of guys who have criminal records, smoke weed, do drugs and do f**k all with their lives, but they still get laid, because they still have the fundamentals that attract a girl. E.g strong jawline, good six pack, bad boy attitude and being very tall or muscly. I guess you could say that treating girls badly and being a bad boy is seen as more attractive by girls than being a nice gentleman. Most girls love the alpha male types or the chad types. If you're not in this category, it will be very hard for you to get with anyone.

Would you say it’s a common theme and it’s modern nowadays that personality heavily overlooked?