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A Look at Feminism - From a Different Perspective Watch

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    (Original post by Dark Horse)
    This was written by a Mother. A concerned Mother, worrying about her son's options when it comes to relationships.

    Source: http://shiningpearlsofsomething.blog...us-letter.html
    ________________________

    Anonymous Letter
    Two notes about this post:
    1. I don't presume to speak for my son, but he's no dummy.
    2. This was supposed to be short enough to print several copies, so I could "drop" a few in strategic locations around a nearby college campus. But you know me! Some days I just can't shut up. My husband thanks you in advance for your sympathy.

    ******************************** ******************************** *******


    A letter to a future daughter-in-law, possibly my own:

    A few years from now, you’re probably going to want to marry my son. Perhaps you already do; he’s kind of hot and his potential is quite obvious, if I do say so myself. He’s only 20, handsome and well-built, and when he lets his hair grow long, it’s thick and wavy. He has his father’s beautiful eyes, and my dimples look much better on him than they ever did on me. He’s also a U.S. Marine; he has finished his deployment and doesn’t expect to go overseas again, so he’s preparing to begin earning college credits. I don’t hover, so I’m not sure which major he’s chosen – engineering or actuarial science. He surfs, rides a motorcycle and a mountain bike, hikes, and maintains a classic car. Pretty much everybody likes him or loves him, and respects him. Girls hit on him regularly.

    I’ll be surprised if he ever marries though. You see, his plan is to wait until he’s at least thirty, therefore he will spend the next decade meeting, dating, working with, and probably sleeping with, the product of 60 years of American feminism. I’m pretty sure he won’t find many women worth considering for marriage. How about we look at it from his perspective, m’kay? Here’s what he sees:

    Half of you have been raised without your fathers, yet only a few of your fathers deserved to be kicked out of your lives; you were raised by the women who kicked your fathers out, and perhaps a string of stepdads and “uncles.” And those women, your mothers, taught you their values by example. Not an auspicious start. Most of the rest of you were raised by fathers who knew damn well that if they displeased your mothers, they too could be kicked out of your lives according to your mothers’ whims. They knew full well who had the REAL power in the family; they quietly accepted that “mother knows best.”

    You were raised in a culture that permits, even encourages, women and girls to always push for more. Not necessarily to do more or earn more, but to demand more and to expect more. You were punished far less severely for your transgressions than were your male peers. Indeed your female peers egged you on to be even naughtier, and to be defiant about it. It’s Grrrl Power, after all! The boys of your acquaintance were expected to give in to your shenanigans and your **** tests, and those who didn’t were labeled “problem children” and medicated. A boy’s best bet was to shut up and grovel, and maybe win your approval. They sure weren’t allowed to go around offending the Special Snowflakes now, were they?

    You were raised in a Disney Princess Culture, where every girl is entitled to her Prince Charming. And if she can’t find one, she has the Grrrl Power to kiss any old frog and transform him into a Prince. You were raised to be a slut, at least through your twenties. Go to College. Establish a Career. Don’t get married until your late twenties or early thirties, but DO NOT, under any circumstances, repress your sexuality. Your foremothers fought hard for your right to be promiscuous with no consequences; don’t you dare let their efforts go to waste. And since you’re not looking for a husband, there’s no need to sleep with only “good” men, is there? ‘Cuz badboyz are hawt! And nice guys are boring. Additionally, you have plenty of time to ride the best cocks you can find; thanks to modern medicine, you can get pregnant after menopause if you want, so there’s no hurry. You are expected to waste your youth and your beauty on hot guys who treat you like ****, then give your leftovers to the guy you’ll promise to love, honor and cherish for the rest of your life. Wow, how lucky is he!

    My son looks around and he sees *****y, arrogant, malicious women. He sees spoiled greedy women. He sees financially irresponsible women. He sees lazy undisciplined women. (Yes, even in the military; they had to lower the standards so more women could “serve.”) He sees overweight women wearing unflattering clothes that display muffin tops and rolls of fat, who drool over his biceps while telling him that “looks aren’t important.” He sees slutty women who dress to attract men, sleep with the “hot” ones, and denigrate the rest by calling them “creepy.” He sees “competitive” professional women, whose primary tool for getting ahead is the threat of sexual harassment lawsuits. He sees demanding women who expect men to bow and scrape for the privilege of a smile. He sees utterly irrational women whose “self-esteem ” is obscenely disproportionate to their proven worth. He sees women who expect romantic dates and expensive gifts, yet have absolutely nothing of value to contribute to a relationship. He sees women who flirt with their hopeful, geeky JustFriends, barely enough to keep them on a string while simultaneously panting after Alpha Hotties, then run crying back to those JustFriends after being pumped and dumped by said Hotties, “Oh, why can’t more men be nice like you?” (Answer: if they were, no woman would **** them.)
    Look around you ladies. You see the very same women, don’t you? Most of you are these women. You think this is normal and acceptable, because “everybody does it.” It’s not.
    There’s something you should know about my son and his peers. They’re not gay, they’re not lazy, they’re not stupid, they’re not unambitious, and they’re not weak. They’ve merely figured you out. They know you don’t give a rat’s ass about them, and you see them as nothing but providers and fantasy sex objects. They are wise to the game and they’re done playing by your rules.

    They have the same job titles as you and they take home the same pay, but they work longer hours and they do harder work; they know that their productivity is why employers can afford to hire you to sit at a desk and shuffle papers. They know that if two drunken people have sex and both regret it in the morning, only one of them is a “rapist.” They know that “My Body/My Choice” actually means"My Body/My Choice/Your Wallet." They know that the minute they sign a marriage license, everything they own is yours, but nothing you own is theirs (except your debts) and you can walk away with cash and prizes, at any time, for any reason. Or for no reason at all.

    They’re calling Bull****.

    A few years from now, you’ll begin asking yourself, “Where have all the good men gone?” You’ll look down your noses at all those guys playing video games and living like frat boys in cheap apartments, and you’ll know that they could do “so much better” for themselves. You’ll shake your heads in wonder at their “immaturity,” or their “wasted potential.” Here’s a little secret. (Yep. A few men are immature and weak – they’ve had the masculinity abused or medicated out of them by their single mothers and grandmothers) but most of them?

    They no longer give a rat’s ass about YOU.

    That’s right. They don’t need to work hard and earn a good living. They have no intention of fathering and supporting any children, and no desire whatsoever earn your approval. You go buy your own four bedroom colonial in just the right subdivision! That’s what Grrrl Power is for, isn’t it? Many of these men will go so far as to quit their jobs as soon as they begin to “earn a good living.” They don’t want to earn enough money to pay taxes. They don’t want to pay the salaries of millions of useless (and mostly female) government employees, and they don’t want to pay for the personal choices of “Empowered Women.” They refuse to feed your Beast. And you, and your church, and your government can’t cajole them or shame them into giving a ****. Men are dropping out, Ladies. Chivalry has died of blunt force trauma, in a beatdown administered by Grrrl Power. Your mothers, your grandmothers, your schools, your family courts, your sociology professors, have all spent the last two generations telling men that they are unnecessary and unwelcome. And now they’re leaving. (Oh sure, they’ll be glad to **** you while you’re young and hot, aaaand then they’ll move on to younger and hotter sluts.)

    This is the gift that feminism has given to you – Independence. Scary, lonely, bitter, potentially impoverished Independence. For yourselves and for any children you may have. Most of you won’t blame feminism though; you’ll blame Male Privilege (which doesn’t exist.) You’ll blame The Patriarchy (which always gave women a far better deal than it gave men.) You will stamp your feet, flip your hair, and blame anything except the single cultural force that has devoted itself to suppressing and controlling masculinity. And you’ll go home alone every night to your cats, your Facebook Friends, and your vibrator. I sure hope that’s what you want.

    Sincerely,
    A Mom
    :eek:


    Wow! This is horribly sexist!
    This is just pure chauvinism! I aggree that men definitely face bias in divorce and family courts, but come on, this is just repulsive to read!

    There's ways around all of this stuff! Have a surrogate mum, that way the woman can't take the child away from you under ANY circumstances, and don't get married just cohabit, that way she can't take all of the assets you have, my mum told me to never marry but she told my sister to, I wonder why.... There's so many ways of getting around all of these issues, just try harder and actually look with the eyes in that head of yours, women forget they definitely aren't needed either to start a family.... Since there's babypowder....

    If she's the type of girl that likes "badboyz" laugh at her and walk on if you end up in the "friendzone" or whatever you don't have to actually talk to her, freedom of expression.

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    Reading this was painful.
    Ignorant yet condescending, and downright offensive.
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    (Original post by jreid1994)
    :eek:


    Wow! This is horribly sexist!
    This is just pure chauvinism! I aggree that men definitely face bias in divorce and family courts, but come on, this is just repulsive to read!
    Actually this seems to be false. I'll try and get the article I had open a while ago.

    Very few child custody cases even go to trial. Less than 5% I believe.
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    (Original post by Dark Horse)
    Actually this seems to be false. I'll try and get the article I had open a while ago.

    Very few child custody cases even go to trial. Less than 5% I believe.
    HAHAHAHA!!! You made me laugh.

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    (Original post by Captain Haddock)
    Let's put it this way, if that article was a historical document its authorship would be seriously questioned.
    Lol let's not put it that way. It's not a historical document. And if it was, it wouldn't be talking about feminism in such a way, I deem.
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    (Original post by tnetennba)
    Reading this was painful.
    Ignorant yet condescending, and downright offensive.
    It was pretty obviously written by a man, or a group of men. It has slightly different writing styles in different parts of it, I reckon 2 or 3 authors were involved.
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    (Original post by jreid1994)
    HAHAHAHA!!! You made me laugh.

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    Children being put in such situations, and homes being torn apart is no laughing matter, my friend. :cool:
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    (Original post by jreid1994)
    HAHAHAHA!!! You made me laugh.

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    Disprove with evidence? (Not from a MRA website or tumblr, actual evidence plz)
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    (Original post by Fullofsurprises)
    It was pretty obviously written by a man, or a group of men. It has slightly different writing styles in different parts of it, I reckon 2 or 3 authors were involved.
    Lol, maybe even 4? :lol:
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    (Original post by edithwashere)
    Disprove with evidence? (Not from a MRA website or tumblr, actual evidence plz)

    Really? "family courts award mothers sole custody in 71% of cases and fathers sole custody in 7% of all cases, joint custody is awarded in the remaining 21% of cases." So you was trying to tell me." Source: ( http://www.coeffic.demon.co.uk/iwill.htm ) do tell me again that men don't face bias in family courts... It makes me chuckle.


    Also, this citation is quite interesting.....
    Source: ( http://www.coeffic.demon.co.uk/stats.htm )
    Percentage of children in fatherless families
    US 22%
    UK 20.7% (2.5M / 12.074M)

    Reports from the US show the effect that absence of a father has on nearly 22% of American children in a fatherless home is:


    Reports from the US show the effect that absence of a father has on nearly 22% of American children in a fatherless home is:

    63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes (Source: US DHHS Bureau of the census)

    That's quite cool... So single mother families result in the majority of youth suicides

    90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes

    Lols. Homeless kids....

    85% of all children that exibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes (Source: Centre for Disease Control)

    Hahahaha!!! They probably get bullied..

    80% of rapists motivated with displaced anger come from fatherless homes (Source: Criminal Justice & Behaviour, Vol 14, p. 403-26, 1978)

    This is, sadly true the vast majority of rapists come from fatherless homes.

    71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes (Source: National Principles Association Report on the State of High Schools.)


    This ones quite funny huh you're children will be school dropouts

    70% of juveniles in state-operated institutions come from fatherless homes (Source: US Dept of Justice Special Report, Sept 1988)

    Again funny.... The child ended up in prison LOL.

    85% of all youths sitting in prisons grew up in a fatherless home (Source: Fulton Co. Georgia jail populations, Texas Dept. of Corrections 1992)
    These statistics translate to mean that children from a fatherless home are:

    Lols.... Most youth offenders come from single mother households. hysterical right?

    5 times more likely to commit suicide
    32 times more likely to run away
    20 times more likely to have behavioural disorders
    14 times more likely to commit rape (boys)
    9 times more likely to drop out of high school
    10 times more likely to abuse chemical substances
    9 times more likely to end up in a state-operated institution
    20 times more likely to end up in prison



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    (Original post by jreid1994)
    x
    This article has a very different take on the matter.

    By Cathy MeyerCertified Divorce Coach, Marriage Educator and Legal Investigator

    We hear a lot about how the courts are biased in favor of mothers when deciding child custody. After a 10 year career as a divorce coach/consultant and doing extensive research on the subject, I've come to the conclusion that the courts are not the reason mothers retain custody in the majority of divorces. And, not the reason many fathers aren't involved in their children's lives post-divorce.

    Below are a few stats from a Pew Research Center analysis of the National Survey of Family Growth (NSFG) released in June of 2011.

    Married Fathers:

    According to the report, a married father spends on average 6.5 hours a week taking part in primary child care activities with his children. The married mother spends on average 12.9 hours. Since two-income households are now the norm, not the exception, the above information indicates that not only are mothers working, but they are also doing twice as much child care as fathers.

    It only makes sense that mothers who have a closer bond due to the time spent caring for a child be the one more likely to retain primary custody after a divorce.

    Divorced or Unwed Fathers:

    More startling are the stats on absent fathers, or the amount of time fathers spend with children once the divorce is final. According to the above study, when fathers and children live separately, 22 percent of fathers see their children more than once a week. Twenty-nine percent of fathers see their children one to four times a month. The most disturbing fact though is that 27 percent of fathers have no contact with their children at all.

    When you take into consideration that mothers spend more time taking care of children before divorce and only 22 percent of fathers take advantage of spending what I would consider quality time with their children after the divorce, the fact that more mothers retain custody seems reasonable... doesn't it?

    Many men argue that family courts send the message that fathers are not essential to raising children. Not essential beyond the point of giving a percentage of their paychecks to the mother of their children anyway. They argue that the courts consider them nothing more than weekend visitors and that so few fathers take an active role in parenting after divorce due to the blatant bias they experience during the divorce process and the determination of child custody.

    Some fathers, those among the 27 percent who have no contact with their children post-divorce, may even argue that gender bias during divorce litigation is the reason they no longer engage in parenting or any form of relationship with their children.

    But don't you need to take into consideration how child custody is decided in the majority of divorce cases before blaming gender bias on a father's post-divorce status? What do the statistics say about how custody is decided during divorce and whether or not there is a true gender bias?

    According to DivorcePeers.com, the majority of child custody cases are not decided by the courts.

    In 51 percent of custody cases, both parents agreed -- on their own -- that mom become the custodial parent.
    In 29 percent of custody cases, the decision was made without any third party involvement.
    In 11 percent of custody cases, the decision for mom to have custody was made during mediation.
    In 5 percent of custody cases, the issue was resolved after a custody evaluation.
    Only 4 percent of custody cases went to trial and of that 4 percent, only 1.5 percent completed custody litigation.
    In other words, 91 percent of child custody after divorce is decided with no interference from the family court system. How can there be a bias toward mothers when fewer than 4 percent of custody decisions are made by the Family Court?

    What do these statistics tell us?

    1. Fathers are less involved in their children's care during the marriage.

    2. Fathers are less involved in their children's lives after divorce.

    3. Mothers gain custody because the vast majority of fathers choose to give them custody.

    4. There is no Family Court bias in favor of mothers because very few fathers seek custody during divorce.

    I fully understand and appreciate the value of fathers in the lives of their children. We as a society should do everything in our power to encourage responsible parenting by both mothers and fathers.

    After studying the statistics and working with divorcing clients for more than 10 years, it's my opinion that the "gender bias" argument is used by some fathers who fail to understand the value of legally fighting for more time with their children during the divorce process.

    A gender bias argument should not be used by a divorced father unless he has personal experience and can back up that experience with proof. Until the statistics tell us that more than 4 percent of divorced fathers are seeking custody through the Family Court system, there are few men who have such experience and proof of a true "gender bias."
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    (Original post by Dark Horse)
    This article has a very different take on the matter.
    You actually defend it? After all the facts that I showed you? Wow.... Just wow. So you don't mind the fact that the majority of: rapists, teen suicides, youth offenders, homeless, domestic abusers, are all raised by single mothers? On top off all of this, couples from single parent families are much more likely to divorce too. You can't seriously be saying that men walk into custody battles with the intention of giving the woman sole custody. He might aswell burn money.

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    (Original post by jreid1994)
    Really? "family courts award mothers sole custody in 71% of cases and fathers sole custody in 7% of all cases, joint custody is awarded in the remaining 21% of cases." So you was trying to tell me." Source: ( http://www.coeffic.demon.co.uk/iwill.htm ) do tell me again that men don't face bias in family courts... It makes me chuckle.


    Also, this citation is quite interesting.....
    Source: ( http://www.coeffic.demon.co.uk/stats.htm )
    Percentage of children in fatherless families
    US 22%
    UK 20.7% (2.5M / 12.074M)

    Reports from the US show the effect that absence of a father has on nearly 22% of American children in a fatherless home is:


    Reports from the US show the effect that absence of a father has on nearly 22% of American children in a fatherless home is:

    63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes (Source: US DHHS Bureau of the census)

    That's quite cool... So single mother families result in the majority of youth suicides

    90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes

    Lols. Homeless kids....

    85% of all children that exibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes (Source: Centre for Disease Control)

    Hahahaha!!! They probably get bullied..

    80% of rapists motivated with displaced anger come from fatherless homes (Source: Criminal Justice & Behaviour, Vol 14, p. 403-26, 1978)

    This is, sadly true the vast majority of rapists come from fatherless homes.

    71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes (Source: National Principles Association Report on the State of High Schools.)


    This ones quite funny huh you're children will be school dropouts

    70% of juveniles in state-operated institutions come from fatherless homes (Source: US Dept of Justice Special Report, Sept 1988)

    Again funny.... The child ended up in prison LOL.

    85% of all youths sitting in prisons grew up in a fatherless home (Source: Fulton Co. Georgia jail populations, Texas Dept. of Corrections 1992)
    These statistics translate to mean that children from a fatherless home are:

    Lols.... Most youth offenders come from single mother households. hysterical right?

    5 times more likely to commit suicide
    32 times more likely to run away
    20 times more likely to have behavioural disorders
    14 times more likely to commit rape (boys)
    9 times more likely to drop out of high school
    10 times more likely to abuse chemical substances
    9 times more likely to end up in a state-operated institution
    20 times more likely to end up in prison



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    Your tone is unpleasant. You seem to be implying children turn out like that because mothers are bad at raising children on their own. Why not blame the irresponsible men who aren't helping to raise their offspring?

    And again, other than a US source, you've only cited an MRA website. I don't even understand what half of your points are meant to add to this argument, rather than some kind of horrible jokey tone that child abuse is funny (I think you're being sarcastic, I don't know. Either way it's pretty unnecessary).
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    (Original post by jreid1994)
    You actually defend it? After all the facts that I showed you? Wow.... Just wow. So you don't mind the fact that the majority of: rapists, teen suicides, youth offenders, homeless, domestic abusers, are all raised by single mothers? On top off all of this, couples from single parent families are much more likely to divorce too.

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    Read what he posted. In this instance, his point has swept the floor with your mishmash of weird stats that aren't presented properly or eloquently.
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    (Original post by edithwashere)
    Your tone is unpleasant. You seem to be implying children turn out like that because mothers are bad at raising children on their own. Why not blame the irresponsible men who aren't helping to raise their offspring?

    And again, other than a US source, you've only cited an MRA website. I don't even understand what half of your points are meant to add to this argument, rather than some kind of horrible jokey tone that child abuse is funny (I think you're being sarcastic, I don't know. Either way it's pretty unnecessary).
    I... Just can't believe... You actually defend single mothers... The "heroic" mum that forced the father to not spend enough time with the children? How am I meant to defend single mothers in front of this overwhelmingly disturbing evidence? Who else is there to blame apart FROM single mothers? The vast majority of youth offenders domestic abusers and rapists come from single mother families.

    The source is correct and don't try telling me that men are going to spend thousands of pounds on a lawyer to fight for her to get sole custody, that's just ridiculous.

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    (Original post by jreid1994)
    You actually defend it? After all the facts that I showed you? Wow.... Just wow. So you don't mind the fact that the majority of: rapists, teen suicides, youth offenders, homeless, domestic abusers, are all raised by single mothers? On top off all of this, couples from single parent families are much more likely to divorce too.

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    It is not prudent to draw conclusions on the strength of one source.
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    (Original post by Dark Horse)
    It is not prudent to draw conclusions on the strength of one source.
    No it isn't I've got other sources on crime from single parent families, to back it up though.

    Come on you're actually telling me that men go in custody courts to give custody to women? Is that a joke? If I wanted to waste thousands and thousands of pounds it wouldn't be on something like this.

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    (Original post by jreid1994)
    I... Just can't believe... You actually defend single mothers... The "heroic" mum that forced the father to not spend enough time with the children? How am I meant to defend single mothers in front of this overwhelmingly disturbing evidence? Who else is there to blame apart FROM single mothers? The vast majority of youth offenders domestic abusers and rapists come from single mother families.

    The source is correct and don't try telling me that men are going to spend thousands of pounds on a lawyer to fight for her to get sole custody, that's just ridiculous.

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    Wow, you're a messed up person. You're also making it very clear that you're emotionally invested in this argument and sound pretty unstable, and angry too. I'd recommend seeing a counsellor or something, it really sounds like you have some serious underlying problems with women.
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    (Original post by jreid1994)
    No it isn't I've got other sources on crime from single parent families, to back it up though.

    Come on you're actually telling me that men go in custody courts to give custody to women? Is that a joke? If I wanted to waste thousands and thousands of pounds it wouldn't be on something like this.

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    My source claimed that 51% of cases aren't even decided by the courts, but by the couples themselves.

    Although, this in itself would have an effect on the net total of women's earnings. It's unfair to want custody and expect to be able to devote as much time to earning money as someone with less responsibility. However, the whole gender pay gap is a really poor argument anyway.
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    (Original post by edithwashere)
    Wow, you're a messed up person. You're also making it very clear that you're emotionally invested in this argument and sound pretty unstable, and angry too. I'd recommend seeing a counsellor or something, it really sounds like you have some serious underlying problems with women.
    Emotional? About what exactly? So the fact that most rapists come from single parent families is not a problem?
    And the fact that women get sole custody of a child by default is good? And I'm being harsh and sexist towards women by using statistics?

    Come on, no one on earth goes into a custody court with the intention of losing their child.
    Either women push the men away, or there is serious bias in favor of women in custody battles, ironically females dominate family courts.

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