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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Me too. I'm in uni, mainly to study an interesting subject and get a good job afterwards. I had loads of school friends and with the atmosphere of school, it was impossible not to make friends. In my work experience, once again, impossible not to make friends either. I don't really know why uni is like this.
    im glad im not the only one. I go back this weekend and im dreading it. I feel like I should be excited because everybody keeps telling me that uni is the best time of my life, Ill make so many friends. Ive never felt so lonely in such a busy place. I don't know if that makes it so much worse. There are so many people at uni yet when you don't have any or many friends it makes you feel a thousand times worse.
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    Wow, QM has a **** social life. Who ****ing knew?
    • #1
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    #1

    (Original post by JulietheCat)
    Wow, QM has a **** social life. Who ****ing knew?
    The social life is **** in this uni. I thought we made that obvious, right?

    You know, I give up. This is just bashing against the wall with no results. You all win :sigh:
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    Well, second year and people are still in their cliques!!! :bawling:


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    • #1
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    #1

    (Original post by JulietheCat)
    Well, second year and people are still in their cliques!!! :bawling:


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    I did try to make acquaintances to start off with but sooner or later I was blown off for their friends. Nice while it lasted though...
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I did try to make acquaintances to start off with but sooner or later I was blown off for their friends. Nice while it lasted though...
    It seems that it's just the uni. I'm just bearing the loneliness so I could just finish this degree already!

    And maybe get a second degree, outside of London


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    I'm like this.

    I've really started to feel it now. For the last 2 years of Uni I've managed to remain quite content with things.

    I get the feeling it's because I still live at home and go to uni in my home town. The fact I was meant to go out to Liverpool and had that option taken away for a variety of reasons still leaves me quite resentful and constantly feeling like I shouldn't be studying where I am.

    I've struggled to connect with people on my course, simply because 70% of students on my course happen to be international students whilst the rest just generally haven't ever really spoken to me that much.

    I've recently tried to join a few societies in the middle of the first semester of my 3rd year and obviously was knocked back for the majority. I've been rejected for almost every part time job I've ever had an interview for.

    I'm currently not even engaging with my uni work despite the gruelling dissertation and various other pieces of work which should be in progress. I'm not sure if I'm socially anxious, depressed, a loser or if I've just struggled to adjust from the school environment to this.

    What a depressing first post.
    • #7
    #7

    Just found this thread I know it's old.
    I feel the exact same way I find it hard to make friends and my course is big about 80 I know it's not as much.
    I also joined my course 3 weeks in I missed the whole getting to know everyone part as I switched from another course which I was on for a year it had less people I found it easier to get along with everyone and found I could talk to anyone. This year I just feel isolated it's the 2nd semester I hang with a group I don't know them well and I get anxious around new people. It's the 2nd semester I don't even seem bothered about uni anymore haven't gone to many lectures , been skipping days just studying at home. I'd quit but I don't know what else I'm interested in I do enjoy the course it's what I want to do business and possible a masters after. I haven't bothered with any of the events this year at all on my last years course I went out more. I enjoy going out clubbing although when I don't feel that close to anyone I don't like clubbing because if you lose the person you end up on your own.
    Nobody ever talks to me first I'm always talking to them first so I start to think why do I even bother /
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Just found this thread I know it's old.
    I feel the exact same way I find it hard to make friends and my course is big about 80 I know it's not as much.
    I also joined my course 3 weeks in I missed the whole getting to know everyone part as I switched from another course which I was on for a year it had less people I found it easier to get along with everyone and found I could talk to anyone. This year I just feel isolated it's the 2nd semester I hang with a group I don't know them well and I get anxious around new people. It's the 2nd semester I don't even seem bothered about uni anymore haven't gone to many lectures , been skipping days just studying at home. I'd quit but I don't know what else I'm interested in I do enjoy the course it's what I want to do business and possible a masters after. I haven't bothered with any of the events this year at all on my last years course I went out more. I enjoy going out clubbing although when I don't feel that close to anyone I don't like clubbing because if you lose the person you end up on your own.
    Nobody ever talks to me first I'm always talking to them first so I start to think why do I even bother /
    man that sounds sucky and like my uni experience! I ended up dropping out of uni 5 times but still got a bsc in the end so all is not lost! I suggest you find out where you stand with student finance. Have you used up your funding for this year or will they fund you to do a 1st year elsewhere. If they won't i suggest looking to finish the year if you like the course, then take a break to sort your head out, and of you dont like the course then leave and stop wasting your time. With the new fees it's more difficult for people like us but at the end of the day, life is too short and if we are not happy we shouldnt have to put ourselves through that.

    If you are thinking of leaving think about what you will do. Will you get a job? Will you volunteer? will you travel? Dont just leave without some kind of plan else you'll feel like you made the wrong decision and you'll wish you' stay in uni and that feeling is awful! i did that 3 times :/.


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    • #7
    #7

    (Original post by rock_climber86)
    man that sounds sucky and like my uni experience! I ended up dropping out of uni 5 times but still got a bsc in the end so all is not lost! I suggest you find out where you stand with student finance. Have you used up your funding for this year or will they fund you to do a 1st year elsewhere. If they won't i suggest looking to finish the year if you like the course, then take a break to sort your head out, and of you dont like the course then leave and stop wasting your time. With the new fees it's more difficult for people like us but at the end of the day, life is too short and if we are not happy we shouldnt have to put ourselves through that.

    If you are thinking of leaving think about what you will do. Will you get a job? Will you volunteer? will you travel? Dont just leave without some kind of plan else you'll feel like you made the wrong decision and you'll wish you' stay in uni and that feeling is awful! i did that 3 times :/.


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    I'll probably just stay as much as I can I failed my last years course I failed two modules but the course wasn't for me so I'm paying for this year myself next year the student finance pays for me. I'm gonna maybe try harder sometimes I can be quiet so they might just think I don't want to talk. I end up just being on my phone when I feel anxious.
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    (Original post by Maid Marian)
    Add me to your ignore list then :curious:

    No, my problem with life is that I'm ugly.
    Don't lose hope , lots of really beautiful girls have really ugly friends to make themselves look better
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    The social life is **** in this uni. I thought we made that obvious, right?

    You know, I give up. This is just bashing against the wall with no results. You all win :sigh:
    Probably many others have already said this but, If you are not living in halls(bad mistake), you should probably join loads of societies and do stuff you never would of done previously... Although take what i say with a pinch of salt as I'm not currently at uni.
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    I also just found this thread and feel like i am in a similar situation to you!
    I really enjoy my course and have some friends to sit with at uni and chat to and walk home with etc. I have a group who i am living with next year but we are not that close and they really don't like doing any sort of socializing , to me this was all a bit of a shock since i'm used to having a solid friendship group and home and active social life.
    In freshers i went out a lot with one of my flatmates and was having good time meeting people , but unfortunately my flatmate dropped out and the other 3 people who i live with have no interest in going out meaning i was unable to go out and therefore meet people (i didn't think a 19 year old girl going to a club alone was a very good idea!)

    I do have some other friends who go out a lot however when they do they are all taking drugs which i am not comfortable with doing! and think being the only one who isn't taking them would also not be fun! Staying in all the time is starting to take its toll on me making me feel lonely and isolated and less motivated for uni itself. Any advice?

    I tried joining a society and went to several event but the people were nice just weren't that similar to me. Another society i joined has lots of event but they are all going out a clubbing which would be great but if you have no one to go with it not always possible and i don't feel comfortable walking into a full night club on my own :/
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'll probably just stay as much as I can I failed my last years course I failed two modules but the course wasn't for me so I'm paying for this year myself next year the student finance pays for me. I'm gonna maybe try harder sometimes I can be quiet so they might just think I don't want to talk. I end up just being on my phone when I feel anxious.
    god anxiety is awful. It's kind of taken over my life. I'm really anxious this morning and I don't feel like I can function today.

    If your anxiety is holding you back, definitely get help. I'm getting therapy at the moment and it definitely helps me get through the week!
    • #7
    #7

    (Original post by rock_climber86)
    god anxiety is awful. It's kind of taken over my life. I'm really anxious this morning and I don't feel like I can function today.

    If your anxiety is holding you back, definitely get help. I'm getting therapy at the moment and it definitely helps me get through the week!
    I find my anxiety is a lot worse if I haven't exercised I'm always extremely positive after wondering if I should go for a run or do a dance workout or anything just to get me moving in the morning. I was anxious today too I had tutorial to bring in are introductions to get help writing it he was going to look at them I didn't go because I was just in for an hour couldn't be bothered with the stress now I hope I'm doing the write thing. I am with learning support for test anxiety I might speak to them since I've missed my chance the lecturer will assume it's down to laziness. I missed college yesterday to go to the gym I was too stressed and anxious.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I did make a friend in my summer work experience and he and I both made the effort to get to know each other.

    But when it comes to uni, make all the effort and they don't care. Best time of my life, my ass.
    They say that it will get even worse afterwards...
    • #8
    #8

    Im in a lonely situation too
    Where i cant make friends
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    What many people don't understand is that people don't become "friends" just to be friends or based on some emotional attachment. People are "friends" with those who are convenient for them, or who they can get something from. When you arrive to the uni, there will be people who know each other, they keep together, usually in twos, sometimes more. They often don't even have that much in common, but they are "friends" because strengths is in numbers. The rest quickly evaluates each other, and pick up the most confident people, who will later become the head of come cabal. Then go the best-looking, everyone wants to be "friends" with a good-looking person. The rest acknowledge themselves on the margins of social groups, and befriend each other. Then, the rest are people who were not quick enough and adroit enough to do any of the above. They feel lonely and don't understand why no one is "friends" with them. Often, they became victims, when suddenly someone "befriends" them, then that someone asks for whatever they wanted, then dumps the "new friend".
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    (Original post by namename)
    What many people don't understand is that people don't become "friends" just to be friends or based on some emotional attachment. People are "friends" with those who are convenient for them, or who they can get something from. When you arrive to the uni, there will be people who know each other, they keep together, usually in twos, sometimes more. They often don't even have that much in common, but they are "friends" because strengths is in numbers. The rest quickly evaluates each other, and pick up the most confident people, who will later become the head of come cabal. Then go the best-looking, everyone wants to be "friends" with a good-looking person. The rest acknowledge themselves on the margins of social groups, and befriend each other. Then, the rest are people who were not quick enough and adroit enough to do any of the above. They feel lonely and don't understand why no one is "friends" with them. Often, they became victims, when suddenly someone "befriends" them, then that someone asks for whatever they wanted, then dumps the "new friend".
    People with friends don't think about the process like this

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    (Original post by ElChapo)
    People with friends don't think about the process like this

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    Cause not. On the first day at the uni, they just look at each other and immediately fall into friendship, just like this, without even knowing anything about each other. A coup de foudre. And all the others are bad losers, whom no one wanted. Not.
 
 
 
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