What career would suit me? Generally struggling with this. Watch

Tyrion_Lannister
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#181
Report Thread starter 5 years ago
#181
(Original post by Katie_p)
I would expect my partner to contribute as equally financially as possible. I've discussed it with my boyfriend of over 3 years, and we've both said that we basically expect each other to take some hits for financial gain:
- do jobs we don't enjoy if the alternative is not working or a significantly lower salary
- work full-time hours unless pay is so good that part-time is feasible
Whilst I wouldn't mind if I somehow ended up earning £100k and my bf was on £25k or something, I wouldn't want him to not work or work a job earning only £15k if he could realistically be getting more than that, I would expect him to do what was needed to earn that much. And the same in return.
I just don't think it's fair not to work as hard as your partner and enjoy more beneftis from their career than from your own. It would probably be different if one of us had a career we really loved AND paid well enough to support the two of us, but unless that happens, I just don't think I could deal with either allowing my bf to carry me, or with carrying him.
But you can contribute in other ways? For example I'm much better at cooking and decorating than my boyfriend, so I wouldn't expect him to do that? I see your point but I don't think it's all about finance.

My mum's always worked part time and my dad's always worked full time
0
reply
tehforum
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#182
Report 5 years ago
#182
(Original post by Tyrion_Lannister)
Hobbies, spending time with those around me, housework, cooking, shopping, general chores. I also want kids so there's that..
oh, those things that EVERYONE else does without having to resort to the lazy option of working part time for no reason.
0
reply
Tiger Rag
Badges: 22
Rep:
?
#183
Report 5 years ago
#183
(Original post by Tyrion_Lannister)
But you can contribute in other ways? For example I'm much better at cooking and decorating than my boyfriend, so I wouldn't expect him to do that? I see your point but I don't think it's all about finance.
Those things won't pay the bills or keep a roof over your head.
0
reply
tehforum
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#184
Report 5 years ago
#184
(Original post by OU Student)
Those things won't pay the bills or keep a roof over your head.
But her boyfriend will pay for everything, that means its alright?

Right?

0
reply
Tyrion_Lannister
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#185
Report Thread starter 5 years ago
#185
(Original post by tehforum)
oh, those things that EVERYONE else does without having to resort to the lazy option of working part time for no reason.
Because having different priorities makes someone lazy. To be honest you just seem really bitter.

(Original post by OU Student)
Those things won't pay the bills or keep a roof over your head.
So? They're still necessary. That's why he's going to work full time and I'm not. There are tihngs I'm better at and things he's better at

This forum is full of academic types who hate anyone who isn't..
0
reply
Malevolent
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#186
Report 5 years ago
#186
Boobalagist ?
0
reply
Katie_p
Badges: 15
Rep:
?
#187
Report 5 years ago
#187
(Original post by Tyrion_Lannister)
But you can contribute in other ways? For example I'm much better at cooking and decorating than my boyfriend, so I wouldn't expect him to do that? I see your point but I don't think it's all about finance.

My mum's always worked part time and my dad's always worked full time
I think if both you and your partner are OK with it, then fine, but I have met so many girls who expect to be able to work part-time or be a stay-at-home mum and wouldn't consider a guy without the career potential or inclination to allow them to do so.

I think finance is the most important thing outside the "relationship" aspects of a relationship. I'm better and cooking and my bf cares more about cleaning, so that gets split pretty evenly. But I wouldn't want to reduce my working hours unless my bf could do the same, because I think it's important we contribute as evenly financially and domestically as possible, and anyway I would want that extra time to be for us as a couple (travelling or something like that) or for separate time for hobbies. I don't think home-making takes more than a few hours a week, so I couldn't justify counting that as my contribution to our relationship, if that makes sense.

But I don't want kids, so that makes a huge difference. I can appreciate you want to be able to be around for your kids and having a family is more important to you than a job, but I personally don't and couldn't think like that, and I can't help feeling it's a bit selfish to work less than you could for your own enjoyment, whilst your parents/boyfriend have given/will give you so much financially through their own hard work. I know that sounds really judgemental, but I can't help thinking it.
0
reply
tehforum
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#188
Report 5 years ago
#188
(Original post by Tyrion_Lannister)
Because having different priorities makes someone lazy. To be honest you just seem really bitter.



So? They're still necessary. That's why he's going to work full time and I'm not. There are tihngs I'm better at and things he's better at

This forum is full of academic types who hate anyone who isn't..
So your priorities are doing housework and doing shopping for 4 days of the week ? Go be a cleaner then, you'd feel right at home.
1
reply
tehforum
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#189
Report 5 years ago
#189
(Original post by Tyrion_Lannister)
Because having different priorities makes someone lazy. To be honest you just seem really bitter.



So? They're still necessary. That's why he's going to work full time and I'm not. There are tihngs I'm better at and things he's better at

This forum is full of academic types who hate anyone who isn't..
Yes, they're necessary, but not so important that you require four full days to do them.

You're not the most astute of people.
0
reply
Tiger Rag
Badges: 22
Rep:
?
#190
Report 5 years ago
#190
(Original post by Tyrion_Lannister)
Because having different priorities makes someone lazy. To be honest you just seem really bitter.
I don't think anyone's saying that. You're basically saying you can't be arsed to work part time but want a salary of 20k per year and expect your boyfriend to work full time.

Your expectations are unrealistic.
0
reply
Tyrion_Lannister
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#191
Report Thread starter 5 years ago
#191
(Original post by tehforum)
So your priorities are doing housework and doing shopping for 4 days of the week ? Go be a cleaner then, you'd feel right at home.
My priorities are spending time with those around me, making sure where we live is nice, cooking decent food (I prefer to cook in batches and freeze it so we can eat quickly when we need to) as well as some other stuff. Why does that annoy you?
0
reply
Tyrion_Lannister
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#192
Report Thread starter 5 years ago
#192
(Original post by OU Student)
I don't think anyone's saying that. You're basically saying you can't be arsed to work part time but want a salary of 20k per year and expect your boyfriend to work full time.

Your expectations are unrealistic.
I'm happy to earn less than that. And I don't expect him to, he wants to
0
reply
desdemonata
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#193
Report 5 years ago
#193
(Original post by Tyrion_Lannister)
Because having different priorities makes someone lazy. To be honest you just seem really bitter.



So? They're still necessary. That's why he's going to work full time and I'm not. There are tihngs I'm better at and things he's better at

This forum is full of academic types who hate anyone who isn't..
The thing is, your plan is basically relying on someone else for the things you don't want to do. What are you going to do if you aren't with someone who works full time? Your set of priorities only works in one situation, you shouldn't plan for your life to be that way, because then if you end up single you'll be screwed.

Also relying on someone else your whole life to do the ****ty stuff (working full time, doing a job they don't like) is basically never growing up and being a kid. It's not about being academic at all, it's about being a grown up. Grown ups work, earn their own money, pay their own bills, do things they don't want to do because they need to. They don't rely on someone else to make their life easy.

And I'm sorry, but you DO NOT need to have more of your week dedicated to free time than work to be able to look after a house, do the shopping and meet people. The weekend is more than enough. The only time you could feasibly argue you need plenty of free time is if you have very young children.
2
reply
tehforum
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#194
Report 5 years ago
#194
(Original post by Tyrion_Lannister)
My priorities are spending time with those around me, making sure where we live is nice, cooking decent food (I prefer to cook in batches and freeze it so we can eat quickly when we need to) as well as some other stuff. Why does that annoy you?
Ah, so this inherent laziness runs in your social circle of family and friends.

It annoys me when everyone else does exactly the same as you want to do, but you feel the undue need to have a part time job which caters to your every need.
0
reply
Tyrion_Lannister
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#195
Report Thread starter 5 years ago
#195
(Original post by desdemonata)
The thing is, your plan is basically relying on someone else for the things you don't want to do. What are you going to do if you aren't with someone who works full time? Your set of priorities only works in one situation, you shouldn't plan for your life to be that way, because then if you end up single you'll be screwed.

Also relying on someone else your whole life to do the ****ty stuff (working full time, doing a job they don't like) is basically never growing up and being a kid. It's not about being academic at all, it's about being a grown up. Grown ups work, earn their own money, pay their own bills, do things they don't want to do because they need to. They don't rely on someone else to make their life easy.
I don't expect him to do a job he's not interested in though? My boyfriend wants to work full time and wants to be a lawyer, it's not like I've said he has to? I don't get why people are saying I'm being unfair to him?

I can understand your point about it only works if I'm in a relationship
0
reply
Raiden10
Badges: 17
Rep:
?
#196
Report 5 years ago
#196
(Original post by Tyrion_Lannister)
1) Art as in cartooning/illustration. Not good at realistic stuff.
2) Crafty/making stuff/solving problems in unique ways
3) Good with my hands (:sexface:). No in all seriousness, I'm good at DIY and practical stuff.
4) I'm funny and outgoing, so I'm good at giving presentations and designing the layouts/handouts and stuff like that
5) Good at meeting people/talking to people
Carpenter?
0
reply
Tyrion_Lannister
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#197
Report Thread starter 5 years ago
#197
(Original post by tehforum)
Ah, so this inherent laziness runs in your social circle of family and friends.

It annoys me when everyone else does exactly the same as you want to do, but you feel the undue need to have a part time job which caters to your every need.
It isn't lazy to not be career focused. Why are you not getting that?

But it is nothing to do with you. So basically your point is "Because I have to do something unpleasant, you have to too!"..
0
reply
Tiger Rag
Badges: 22
Rep:
?
#198
Report 5 years ago
#198
(Original post by Tyrion_Lannister)
My priorities are spending time with those around me, making sure where we live is nice, cooking decent food (I prefer to cook in batches and freeze it so we can eat quickly when we need to) as well as some other stuff. Why does that annoy you?
Cooking in batches doesn't take that long. I used to do that on a Sunday whilst at uni. It probably took me an extra 5 minutes or so.

Mum does that on her days off, as well as everything else you mentioned. Admittedly, she does normally get 3-4 days off. But unlike many people, she does 12 hours shifts.
0
reply
Tyrion_Lannister
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#199
Report Thread starter 5 years ago
#199
(Original post by OU Student)
Cooking in batches doesn't take that long. I used to do that on a Sunday whilst at uni. It probably took me an extra 5 minutes or so.

Mum does that on her days off, as well as everything else you mentioned. Admittedly, she does normally get 3-4 days off. But unlike many people, she does 12 hours shifts.
It's nice to be able to have the extra time to do it properly.

Something I should probably have mentioned is I have bipolar and a chronic pain condition and getting enough sleep/eating properly is crucial to me not ending up suicidal, but I didn't want a like a sob story. I don't understand this hostility to people working part time?
0
reply
Hellz_Bellz!
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#200
Report 5 years ago
#200
Okay wow some of the comments on this thread are just rude. At least she's aiming to work. She could easily just say screw it, I'm going on benefits for the rest of my life, like a lot of people do.


(Original post by brendonbackflip)
I second this. My mum has always hated working for people, in the end my mum now has her own business in the sense that she's a private piano teacher. She works 6 days a week, but for very short periods of time (like one day she might only have a couple of half an hour lessons) and she works from home so there's no travelling and she's constantly around at home.

Obviously this has required certain qualifications (and she started off working as a secretary and then a high school teacher so she has dipped in to employed work) so I'm not saying run off and be a music teacher, but the point is that she's ended up making her own job as opposed to finding the right one. I imagine there's a host of creative businesses you could think of.

I'm not entirely sure what she earns mind...
My ex piano teacher worked a similar amount to your mum - 6 or even 7 days a week but with very spread-out hours. She also lived in a massive house in the suburbs so it can't pay that badly :lol: Piano teacher would probably be my back-up plan if my main career plan falls through.
2
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

How did your AQA A-level Business Paper 1 go?

Loved the paper - Feeling positive (104)
19.05%
The paper was reasonable (274)
50.18%
Not feeling great about that exam... (109)
19.96%
It was TERRIBLE (59)
10.81%

Watched Threads

View All