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Girlfriend turned vegan - do we have to break up?? Watch

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    People are being so weird. I completely understand why this is unfair.
    Of course you can cook for yourself but that clearly isn't the problem here.
    My only concern is that although its a bit unfair, surely its not worth breaking up with her for? Like others have said, I think you guys should just cook for yourselves and maybe do like a lot of cooking at the weekend and eat that throughout the week?
    I think its stupid that she's not willing to compromise though. What are her reasons for not touching meat?
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    (Original post by AKWxxx)
    you use the word immature often, when in fact if he refused to cook food on weekends to spite her then that would be HIM being immature.
    Yes it would so it'd be one immature attitude being the catalyst for another.

    as a vegetarian i cook meat for my partner,albeit as little as possible as i find it repulsive.
    Fair enough but don't complain if someone else finds this attitude strange. We're naturally omnivores so its more likely that people will like want to eat meat. Thats why i told them to break up.

    she has a choice,just like he shouldn't have to give up meat,why should she have to touch it?
    He also has a choice - to stay with someone who puts their new found morals above him or to leave that person.

    you obviously have little respect and understanding for the vegan lifestyle, it is very often based on moral viewpoints and so completely acceptable to not want to cook dead animals.
    You are wrong. I used to be a pescetarian (not veggie i know) myself so know all about the commitments to such and I did so for my own reasons to me. I didn't let those changes impact others though because it was my choice. If others wanted meat i'd cook them meat because that is the mature thing to do.

    Its not like she committed to the relationship feeling this way. She's changed her moral viewpoints during the relationship and this has affected him. He is well within his rights based on those changes to reassess his position within the relationship.
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    (Original post by Welsh Bluebird)
    Yes it would so it'd be one immature attitude being the catalyst for another.



    Fair enough but don't complain if someone else finds this attitude strange. We're naturally omnivores so its more likely that people will like want to eat meat. Thats why i told them to break up.


    He also has a choice - to stay with someone who puts their new found morals above him or to leave that person.



    You are wrong. I used to be a pescetarian (not veggie i know) myself so know all about the commitments to such and I did so for my own reasons to me. I didn't let those changes impact others though because it was my choice. If others wanted meat i'd cook them meat because that is the mature thing to do.

    Its not like she committed to the relationship feeling this way. She's changed her moral viewpoints during the relationship and this has affected him. He is well within his rights based on those changes to reassess his position within the relationship.


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    i actually agree to an extent,he shouldn't have to cook her meals if he is paying most of the bills while she cooks meals he doesn't want; they should both cook independently, OR he add meat to her meals.

    i'm sorry but don't bring the natural argument into things.if you want to eat meat 'naturally', go out into the wilderness, hunt your own meat and eat it raw, as nature intended animals to do. there is nothing 'natural' about slaughterhouses and factory farms, humans being the most intelligent and 'superior' with apparent morals, doing the most inHUMANe things. it is this very intelligence as 'superior' beings that should make people undetstand we don't NEED meat. there is a difference between need and want. we have evolved and learnt that there are other ways to survive without eating meat. tell me now what is so NATURAL about apparently superior animals piling poor defenseless beings into overcrowded spaces one by one, torturing and abusing the to the point that death would be a better option, then eventually freeing them from all the pain and suffering by killing them, with MAN MADE machinery may i add, longing it out out in the most horrific way possible. imagine if an alien race m attacked the earth and treated humans in the very same way. it would be the scene of a horror movie. eat as many pigs as you like but don't play the natural card with me.

    how people treat the planet like ****, it just shows we're not above all creatures at all. we are a failing race

    sorry i wrote quite a lot there, got carried away.onto your next point,

    if the OP, for instance, refused to cook tomatoes cus they made him sick,that would be his choice, the girl should be completely understanding and work around this issue. it is exactly the same thing,she is not obliged to do anything she isn't comfortable with, and baring in mind she is a vegan, if this is for ethical reasons then is not actually strange in the slightest that she would feel uncomfortable handling or cooking meat.it is often part of being vegan.

    she hasn't put anything above him, he is the selfish one if he has to force her into handling meat by giving her an ultimatum. it's not dissimilar to forcing it into her very mouth.

    fair enough you cooked meat for others, but not every veg*n is like YOU. that doesn't make them immature, quite the opposite, it actually makes the person forcing them to do something they are uncomfortable with immature. NO ONE should have to do something they are not comfortable with.

    SO ****ING WHAT if she changed throughout the relationship, if my partner converted to Islam, while holding differents beliefs i would respect his viewpoints and make sure he didn't have to do anything that made him uncomfortable even if it had negative effects on my lifestyle say,my eating habits, i would work around these.

    the OP has every right to leave if he can't deal, but it would be quite a drastic decision to make based on his partner simply not adding meat to his meals, and i think if he really loved her he would at least try and live with these new lifestyle choices.
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    (Original post by AKWxxx)
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    i actually agree to an extent,he shouldn't have to cook her meals if he is paying most of the bills while she cooks meals he doesn't want; they should both cook independently, OR he add meat to her meals.
    Nah he should just finish her.

    i'm sorry but don't bring the natural argument into things.if you want to eat meat 'naturally', go out into the wilderness, hunt your own meat and eat it raw, as nature intended animals to do. there is nothing 'natural' about slaughterhouses and factory farms, humans being the most intelligent and 'superior' with apparent morals, doing the most inHUMANe things.
    I will use the natural argument and your notion that I could go out and hunt is true but the whole thing is industrialised for our benefit. Nothing about being inhumane. Also, animals are not humans and as a humanitarian I put humans first.

    it is this very intelligence as 'superior' beings that should make people undetstand we don't NEED meat. there is a difference between need and want. we have evolved and learnt that there are other ways to survive without eating meat.
    Complete rubbish and laughable. I lift weights and without meat I'd be screwed or I'd have to use a supplement and why should I do that when there's natural food sources out there? So you want me to substitute a natural food source like chicken for a man made supplement like protein powder? Laughable considering your natural argument.

    I've already posted the fact we do need meat in this very thread. I know all about it as my best mate studies Sports Science and Nutrition.

    Tell me again how you get Vitamin B12 or all the amino acids you need meat for? Oh wait, supplements. Man made supplements. :rolleyes:

    :rofl:

    tell me now what is so NATURAL about apparently superior animals piling poor defenseless beings into overcrowded spaces one by one, torturing and abusing the to the point that death would be a better option, then eventually freeing them from all the pain and suffering by killing them, with MAN MADE machinery may i add, longing it out out in the most horrific way possible. imagine if an alien race m attacked the earth and treated humans in the very same way. it would be the scene of a horror movie. eat as many pigs as you like but don't play the natural card with me.
    If you're for the natural route then we'd hunt meat instead. I'd have no qualms with that. The fact its all industrialised just makes it easier. I just think its hilarious that you slate all THIS MAN MACHINERY (oh my God I can use caps too) and then YOU WANT PEOPLE TO USE MAN MADE SUPPLEMENTS rather than natural food sources that have been a part of our food chain for years.

    Listen, if you want to be a vegan/veggie/or whatever, fine, but dont try and force it on others and take the holier than thou route because im not an idiot and it wont wash sunshine.

    how people treat the planet like ****, it just shows we're not above all creatures at all. we are a failing race
    Yeah, sure we are. Tell me more about how pigs landed on the moon and horses helped invent electricity please......We're such a rubbish race.

    sorry i wrote quite a lot there, got carried away.onto your next point,
    A lot of misinformed garbage so it seems.

    if the OP, for instance, refused to cook tomatoes cus they made him sick,that would be his choice, the girl should be completely understanding and work around this issue. it is exactly the same thing,she is not obliged to do anything she isn't comfortable with, and baring in mind she is a vegan, if this is for ethical reasons then is not actually strange in the slightest that she would feel uncomfortable handling or cooking meat.it is often part of being vegan.
    Comparing sickness and a moral choice is beyond stupid to be honest but that seems to follow the general trend of the rest of your post. These are new found morals too. Its not like he committed to her with her feeling this way.

    SO ****ING WHAT if she changed throughout the relationship, if my partner converted to Islam, while holding differents beliefs i would respect his viewpoints and make sure he didn't have to do anything that made him uncomfortable even if it had negative effects on my lifestyle say,my eating habits, i would work around these.
    And I'd leave. People have the right to reassess their position in a relationship. If my partner converted to Islam there's a strong chance I'd leave them as I do not wish to convert to Islam to marry. I do not want to marry into the faith so I'd see no future for us and rather than waste my time and her time I'd leave.

    If I got extremely fat, lost ambition and a shadow of the man I used to be then I'd also think the woman I was with was well within her rights to leave. Thats her choice. Just because you commit into something doesn't mean you have to commit to every single change along the way.

    Would you stay committed to someone who suddenly decided they were neo-nazi fascists and hated immigrants and decided to join the EDL? No you wouldn't. I know I sure as hell wouldn't. Things change over time in a relationship and its mature to reassess your position within the relationship.

    the OP has every right to leave if he can't deal, but it would be quite a drastic decision to make based on his partner simply not adding meat to his meals, and i think if he really loved her he would at least try and live with these new lifestyle choices.
    Its up to him but if they're affecting him that much he should leave.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I am respecting her decision!! as I said, she can eat whatever she wants and I'm willing to cook her veggie meals on the weekends when I'm cooking.

    I need good quality animal proteins, I do bodybuilding for a sport. Not only do I love meat, but meat protein has a much better amino acid profile than veggie protein.. You maybe don't understand how difficult this is making my week evenings at the moment and how much stress its causing me.
    Personally I could not choose a vegetarian as a life partner - far too complicated

    How I would react if my husband suddenly became vegetarian - I guess I would have to find a coping strategy - but we have been together nearly 30 years and it would be worth the compromise

    If I were at the start of the relationship like you are, I would wonder if it were worth the effort
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    (Original post by Welsh Bluebird)
    Nah he should just finish her.



    I will use the natural argument and your notion that I could go out and hunt is true but the whole thing is industrialised for our benefit. Nothing about being inhumane. Also, animals are not humans and as a humanitarian I put humans first.



    Complete rubbish and laughable. I lift weights and without meat I'd be screwed or I'd have to use a supplement and why should I do that when there's natural food sources out there? So you want me to substitute a natural food source like chicken for a man made supplement like protein powder? Laughable considering your natural argument.

    I've already posted the fact we do need meat in this very thread. I know all about it as my best mate studies Sports Science and Nutrition.

    Tell me again how you get Vitamin B12 or all the amino acids you need meat for? Oh wait, supplements. Man made supplements. :rolleyes:

    :rofl:



    If you're for the natural route then we'd hunt meat instead. I'd have no qualms with that. The fact its all industrialised just makes it easier. I just think its hilarious that you slate all THIS MAN MACHINERY (oh my God I can use caps too) and then YOU WANT PEOPLE TO USE MAN MADE SUPPLEMENTS rather than natural food sources that have been a part of our food chain for years.

    Listen, if you want to be a vegan/veggie/or whatever, fine, but dont try and force it on others and take the holier than thou route because im not an idiot and it wont wash sunshine.



    Yeah, sure we are. Tell me more about how pigs landed on the moon and horses helped invent electricity please......We're such a rubbish race.



    A lot of misinformed garbage so it seems.



    Comparing sickness and a moral choice is beyond stupid to be honest but that seems to follow the general trend of the rest of your post. These are new found morals too. Its not like he committed to her with her feeling this way.



    And I'd leave. People have the right to reassess their position in a relationship. If my partner converted to Islam there's a strong chance I'd leave them as I do not wish to convert to Islam to marry. I do not want to marry into the faith so I'd see no future for us and rather than waste my time and her time I'd leave.

    If I got extremely fat, lost ambition and a shadow of the man I used to be then I'd also think the woman I was with was well within her rights to leave. Thats her choice. Just because you commit into something doesn't mean you have to commit to every single change along the way.

    Would you stay committed to someone who suddenly decided they were neo-nazi fascists and hated immigrants and decided to join the EDL? No you wouldn't. I know I sure as hell wouldn't. Things change over time in a relationship and its mature to reassess your position within the relationship.


    Its up to him but if they're affecting him that much he should leave.

    Humans are also supposed to be HUMANE. the way they treat animals and the conditions they are kept in is completely inhumane. Please tell me, where the hell in my post did I mention supplements such as protein powder? I'm not vegan, I'm a vegetarian considering veganism, but I can tell you if we NEEDED meat in our diet I would clearly be dead by now, after 12 years of a vegetarian diet. There are other NATURAL sources of protein.

    CBA writing a whole list so here is a link: http://www.fitday.com/fitness-articl...etarian.html#b maybe you need to research more into the vegetarian diet so you get a better understanding rather than assuming things. By the way, I'm using capitals to emphasize words, not to come across as angry or anything. Fair enough you lift weights, you eat meat, i did not ONCE try and convert you, i argued with you that eating meat the way the modern world does is not natural at all, in fact I'm willing to bet you also eat processed meats. But for gods sake don';t tell me what i want, i never even mentioned man made supplements, if you want to argue make sure you read the post properly.

    I'd also like to state that I have not once tried to 'force it on others' .. read my previous posts, I said if you want to eat meat fine, if you feel it helps with your weight training fine, i simply stated that it is not natural because you started spouting bull**** that it was.

    I also never said that we're a rubbish race, just what we do to others, humans and animals alike, alongside with destroying our home planet is quite a sad state of affairs. Misinformed? coming from the person who made assumptions rather than properly reading my post.

    That's fine, you would leave. that's your opinion. i never said OP shouldn't do that. everyone is free, everyone has the right to not do something if it makes them uncomfortable. It doesn't make someone IMMATURE because they are uncomfortable handling meat. Yes OP is within his rights to leave, but he shouldn't blackmail her by basically telling her 'do something you're morally uncomfortable with, or you're out the door' that's ridiculous.

    Also, comparing not wanting to handle or cook meat with becoming a neo nazi is quite laughable
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    It's her decision to become vegan, and not want to eat meat anymore. It should be your decision not to be, which doesn't have to be motivated by anything more than 'I like the taste of steak/bacon/etc'. You are OK with her eating her vegan food in front of you, and she should be OK with you eating meat. The same point holds for cooking: you are willing to cook for her, what she likes, and she should be willing to cook for you, what you like. Otherwise this will never work out.

    Someone above used 2 examples: one of making something that makes the other person physically sick when they make the food, and one of converting to a different religion, e.g. Islam.

    The first example is the following: You like tomatoes, now the other person is allergic and cannot touch them without getting ill. I don't think this is the same, as this wasn't the other person's choice. Hence I wouldn't blame them.

    The second example is the following: You like to drink wine during dinner, now the other person becomes Islamic and doesn't approve. She e.g. no longer sets your glass when she sets the table, doesn't buy your wine when she goes shopping, etc. This is their choice, and I'd blame them.
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    (Original post by Misovlogos)
    You sounds like a truly abysmal boyfriend and person. You gave her an ultimatum to either transgress a not unreasonable ethical conviction clearly important to her, or to 'pack her things and leave'? Did she have anywhere to go? Could she simply step into a higher-waged/houred position to increase her wage such that she could immediately contribute £8,000 to rent? The reason ultimately being: money - you wouldn't mind if only she consigned her entire wage to joint rent - despite you earning far in excess of what is sufficient to live a very decent life; and the narcissism of body-building, on the debatable claim of needing a meat-based amino acid profile. If your priorities are so, money and physical aesthetics over your actual relationship - which you haven't actually spoken to once - then I despair for you.
    She'd been cooking meat for him for ages. She suddenly decided to take up this lifestyle choice - he was cool with it. But she also decided to stop contributing to the household as she used to.
    Now it's left with one partner heavily subsidising the other's standard of living, working longer hours to do this, while the other partner comes home and does her own thing, leaving him to fend for himself. He feels like she's not contributing anything and tells her that if she's not willing to continue with the household stuff, he won't financially help her out. Why should he actually pay for another person's living if she isn't willing to help him by cooking when, as he's explained, he gets in late and is pretty tired?
    What's so awful there?
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    (Original post by Misovlogos)
    You sounds like a truly abysmal boyfriend and person. You gave her an ultimatum to either transgress a not unreasonable ethical conviction clearly important to her, or to 'pack her things and leave'? Did she have anywhere to go? Could she simply step into a higher-waged/houred position to increase her wage such that she could immediately contribute £8,000 to rent? The reason ultimately being: money - you wouldn't mind if only she consigned her entire wage to joint rent - despite you earning far in excess of what is sufficient to live a very decent life; and the narcissism of body-building, on the debatable claim of needing a meat-based amino acid profile. If your priorities are so, money and physical aesthetics over your actual relationship - which you haven't actually spoken to once - then I despair for you.
    No it's not about money, I don't give a crap about money. It was about the principle of her living as a free rider while I'm contributing the most to our household. It was unfair..

    "Narcissism of bodybuilding" ... so how is her interest (veganism) more important than something I'm really passionate about (bodybuilding)? Clearly you don't like bodybuilding and probably are a rabbit food munching vegan and its because of your personal feelings.

    I do place a lot of importance on our relationship, but I want it to be fair too. As I've said I've been doing my best to accomodate her dietary requirements when I cook on the weekends, I would expect her to do the same for me during the week.

    By the way, I don't understand why people are still debating this as we sorted out this problem, we found a compromise and everything is going lovely at the moment. This Easter monday I cooked my girlfriend a three course vegan meal, I was googling good recipes for hours and really tried to make it perfect, and she absolutely loved it and was really happy.

    We are back to normal already!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Me and my girlfriend have been together for a year and have lived together for a few months.

    She's always been a fan of vegetables but recently she decided to turn completely vegan. I have nothing against her views and totally respect her decision - it does not bother me what she eats. But this is not the problem..

    The problem is, that in our household we have divided our tasks in the following way: I'm working full time, and earn most of the money for us. My girlfriend only works part time, but she cooks the evening meals and does most of the household chores. On the weekends, I cook and participate in all possible chores, so I feel we have equally divided everything. With her new thing, I also cook some nice vegetarian things along with other foods on the weekends for her to eat.

    The problem is now that my girlfriend has decided she won't touch or cook meat anymore. This is really bad for me because I'm usually home only around 7:30pm after I've been to the gym after work and most of the time I'm starving. Now with this new vegan thing, she only cooks vegetarian meals, which means that I have to cook for myself. I'm a meat eater, and need a proper portion of meat to get the required protein. I'm more than happy to have some of her carrot soup for a starter, but I do need some proper food too.

    This has made things really difficult for us and it's very exhausting to me. After a full day of work the last thing I want to do is start cooking, I want to relax. I like cooking, but just don't have the time and I can't eat ready meals every day, afterall, I'm a healthy eater.

    I have told her this is very selfish from her. I'd be even willing to change so that I was working part time and did the cooking instead, but my job won't allow this. This has caused for us to argue for the last 3 weeks..

    Is breaking up the only option if she won't change her habits?
    bacon is the answer. mmmmn...bacon.
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    (Original post by Donald Duck)
    It's her decision to become vegan, and not want to eat meat anymore. It should be your decision not to be, which doesn't have to be motivated by anything more than 'I like the taste of steak/bacon/etc'. You are OK with her eating her vegan food in front of you, and she should be OK with you eating meat. The same point holds for cooking: you are willing to cook for her, what she likes, and she should be willing to cook for you, what you like. Otherwise this will never work out.

    Someone above used 2 examples: one of making something that makes the other person physically sick when they make the food, and one of converting to a different religion, e.g. Islam.

    The first example is the following: You like tomatoes, now the other person is allergic and cannot touch them without getting ill. I don't think this is the same, as this wasn't the other person's choice. Hence I wouldn't blame them.

    The second example is the following: You like to drink wine during dinner, now the other person becomes Islamic and doesn't approve. She e.g. no longer sets your glass when she sets the table, doesn't buy your wine when she goes shopping, etc. This is their choice, and I'd blame them.
    i wasn't referring to a tomato allergy, i meant just a dislike of tomatoes that makes you feel sick, just like handling meat does to some veg*ns.

    also why should someone have to buy something for their partner they disagree with, the person should buy their own.bloody wine. that's like saying someone who opposes drugs should get drugs for their partner who uses them recreationally.

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    She was being completely unreasonable. I'm glad you've found a compromise that works for you both, because the initial post you made really demonstrated how unfair she was being.
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    i couldn't date a non vegetarian because i couldnt stand the prospect of kissing one or living with one forever. Vegetarianism is such a big part of my life I would have to choose my future partner on this criterion first . And vegetarian/vegan women are so damn rare :mad:


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    (Original post by AKWxxx)
    i that's like saying someone who opposes drugs should get drugs for their partner who uses them recreationally.

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    If drugs were legal I'm sure this would happen.

    I can't believe anyone thinks OPs gf wasn't being totally unreasonable.

    Honestly based on this thread I would never date a vegetarian, not cause I disagree with their lifestyle but because I couldn't handle their sanctimonious bs. You guys sure give vegetarians a bad name.


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    (Original post by rock_climber86)
    i couldn't date a non vegetarian because i couldnt stand the prospect of kissing one or living with one forever. Vegetarianism is such a big part of my life I would have to choose my future partner on this criterion first . And vegetarian/vegan women are so damn rare :mad:


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    And they say vegetarianism isn't like a religion?


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    (Original post by LightBlueSoldier)
    And they say vegetarianism isn't like a religion?


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    well technically it isnt but i see how my stance is kind of making it sound like one Just like how guys have a sexual preference of a particular race. Isnt racism per say...just their taste. Similar with me and vegetarianism The idea of getting bits of meat from a meat eater into my mouth whilst kissing is like disgusting!


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    (Original post by rock_climber86)
    well technically it isnt but i see how my stance is kind of making it sound like one Just like how guys have a sexual preference of a particular race. Isnt racism per say...just their taste. Similar with me and vegetarianism The idea of getting bits of meat from a meat eater into my mouth whilst kissing is like disgusting!


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    You know that meat eaters don't walk around with chunks of meat stuck in their teeth?


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    (Original post by LightBlueSoldier)
    If drugs were legal I'm sure this would happen.

    I can't believe anyone thinks OPs gf wasn't being totally unreasonable.

    Honestly based on this thread I would never date a vegetarian, not cause I disagree with their lifestyle but because I couldn't handle their sanctimonious bs. You guys sure give vegetarians a bad name.


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    you're the one spouting bull****,why should someone have to do anything they're uncomfortable with just to make their partner happy. ive not once tried to convert someone and i am in fact very open minded, i am however allowed an opinion and when someone tells me they think eating meat is natural i am entitled to disagree with that. all i have done is express an opinion, if i was the biggest meat eater in the world i would still hold the opinion that no one should be forced or blackmailed into doing something that makes them uncomfortable. Posted from TSR Mobile
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    (Original post by AKWxxx)
    you're the one spouting bull****,why should someone have to do anything they're uncomfortable with just to make their partner happy. ive not once tried to convert someone and i am in fact very open minded, i am however allowed an opinion and when someone tells me they think eating meat is natural i am entitled to disagree with that. all i have done is express an opinion, if i was the biggest meat eater in the world i would still hold the opinion that no one should be forced or blackmailed into doing something that makes them uncomfortable. Posted from TSR Mobile
    Not sure if you've ever been in a relationship...


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    (Original post by LightBlueSoldier)
    Not sure if you've ever been in a relationship...


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    lol,i am in an amazing one right now thankyou, and i obviously don't mean things that you don't really wanna do but selflessly do to make your partner happy,this is something much more serious that could have implications for the girl. and fyi i would never force my partner into doing something he truly didn't want to do, and vice versa, and frankly you must be in a **** relationship if you think that's normal.

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