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How do girls feel about being approached in the street? Watch

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    (Original post by Ade9000)
    Okay. One last question to ask: if I ended up consensually with a number or if I was successful in gaining consensual intimacy, am I still guilty of harassment?

    If you come up behind a girl in a nightclub and grope her and she turns tround and makes out with you, are you still still guilty of sexual assault?

    YES.

    Same answer applies.
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    (Original post by Ade9000)
    Indeed, so if you approach and she makes it known she isn't interested, you back off. Thus, no harassment has taken place.




    No. Because in my scenario, the invitation to conversation was open. And as I have stated, time and time again, if she declines, you move one. Thus you have accounted for the victims upset and no harassment has taken place.
    .
    The problem with this approach is that a lot of girls are scared of saying no because some guys do react badly and get quite aggressive. Even if you have no intention of doing so, the possibility that you might will always be in a girls head. I don't know one girl that hasn't been a victim of this.
    The minute a random guy says 'hi' to me, my first reaction is to look for an escape route. I never want to talk to a stranger on the street and there's a reasonable chance that they're not going to take my refusal well.
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    (Original post by democracyforum)
    What about women approaching men ? This has happened to me a few times.

    A woman actually started speaking to me on the bus, and then asked if I was looking to rent an apartment and she had a spare room she was looking to rent out.

    I kind of just shrugged it off, but now that I think about it, she was clearly implying, "come back to my place".
    On the bus is different to on the street. You could just be making friendly conversation on the bus if you're already sitting next to them.
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    (Original post by democracyforum)
    As a man, has a woman ever approached you in the street, and now that you look back on it, clearly wanted sex or at least to get to know you better.

    It happens more than people expect.
    Yeah. A few times. I was being harassed all the while without even knowing!
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    (Original post by ChelseaYvonne)
    The problem with this approach is that a lot of girls are scared of saying no because some guys do react badly and get quite aggressive. Even if you have no intention of doing so, the possibility that you might will always be in a girls head. I don't know one girl that hasn't been a victim of this.
    The minute a random guy says 'hi' to me, my first reaction is to look for an escape route. I never want to talk to a stranger on the street and there's a reasonable chance that they're not going to take my refusal well.
    The scary thing is that Ade knows this, he knows that approaching women on the street will likely lead to their severe discomfort but he doesn't care.
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    (Original post by ChelseaYvonne)
    The problem with this approach is that a lot of girls are scared of saying no because some guys do react badly and get quite aggressive. Even if you have no intention of doing so, the possibility that you might will always be in a girls head. I don't know one girl that hasn't been a victim of this.
    The minute a random guy says 'hi' to me, my first reaction is to look for an escape route. I never want to talk to a stranger on the street and there's a reasonable chance that they're not going to take my refusal well.
    That's understandable. But again, if you refuse and you both go your separate ways, would you go home and say 'I was harassed by a random guy today'? That's what I'm getting at. cole-slaw refuses to acknowledge this, when this is not any different from approaching someone at the bar or club. Even with the social expectations, by his logic, you could still be guilty of harassment.
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    (Original post by Ade9000)
    That's understandable. But again, if you refuse and you both go your separate ways, would you go home and say 'I was harassed by a random guy today'? That's what I'm getting at. cole-slaw refuses to acknowledge this, when this is not any different from approaching someone at the bar or club. Even with the social expectations, by his logic, you could still be guilty of harassment.
    The whole point of bars and clubs is that is a social convention that this is acceptable territory for approaching strangers.

    In the street is not.

    This is really basic stuff, I would expect a 12 year old to understand the difference. I'm amazed your dad or perhaps an older brother hasn't explained this to you yet.
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    (Original post by cole-slaw)
    The whole point of bars and clubs is that is a social convention that this is acceptable territory for approaching strangers.

    In the street is not.

    This is really basic stuff, I would expect a 12 year old to understand the difference. I'm amazed your dad or perhaps an older brother hasn't explained this to you yet.
    What if you don't want to be approached in the club or bar?
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    (Original post by cole-slaw)
    The whole point of bars and clubs is that is a social convention that this is acceptable territory for approaching strangers.

    In the street is not.

    This is really basic stuff, I would expect a 12 year old to understand the difference. I'm amazed your dad or perhaps an older brother hasn't explained this to you yet.
    total nonsense. I have met many people on the street.

    Ideally it's not the best place to pick up women, but it sometimes happens.
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    (Original post by Ade9000)
    What if you don't want to be approached in the club or bar?
    Unfortunately, that is part and parcel of being at a bar or club. You can try to send off negative body language, such as reading a book or sitting in a corner rather than at the bar, but some "approaches" may be unavoidable. If people do approach, you can just say "sorry I'm not interested" or something along those lines.
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    Some women are worse than men when it comes to "letting their feelings be known".
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    (Original post by cole-slaw)
    Unfortunately, that is part and parcel of being at a bar or club. You can try to send off negative body language, such as reading a book or sitting in a corner rather than at the bar, but some "approaches" may be unavoidable. If people do approach, you can just say "sorry I'm not interested" or something along those lines.
    But they're still approaching you. That's harassment, right?
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    (Original post by Ade9000)
    But they're still approaching you. That's harassment, right?

    :facepalm2:

    No, because its socially acceptable in a bar or club. Different interactions are acceptable in different situations:

    Its like, if you're playing rugby, its ok if someone rugby tackles you, whereas if you're walking down the street, its assault.

    Whereas if you're in a bar, its ok if someone approaches you and tries to chat you up, whereas if you're walking down the street minding your own business, its harassment.

    I'm bored of explaining what really should be obvious to anyone over the age of 15. I don't know whether you're at uni yet but even so this stuff should be quite obvious to you.
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    I don't understand why some girls get creeped out by a genuine guy showing interest in her.

    I've been approached before by guys and I enjoy the attention and sometimes enjoy their conversation. If I'm not interested, I'll let them down gently and walk away.

    I've met guys on nights out before and ended up becoming genuine friends with them, rather than anything more happening.

    The only time it can turn into an issue is if the guy is too forward or a little bit arrogant.

    But if a guy approaches a girl and is sweet enough, the girl should give the guy a bit of slack because, after all, they've plucked up the courage to come and talk to you, and that takes a lot in itself.
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    (Original post by cole-slaw)
    :facepalm2:

    No, because its socially acceptable in a bar or club. Different interactions are acceptable in different situations:

    Its like, if you're playing rugby, its ok if someone rugby tackles you, whereas if you're walking down the street, its assault.

    Whereas if you're in a bar, its ok if someone approaches you and tries to chat you up, whereas if you're walking down the street minding your own business, its harassment.

    I'm bored of explaining what really should be obvious to anyone over the age of 15. I don't know whether you're at uni yet but even so this stuff should be quite obvious to you.
    All I did was take your reasoning to a logical conclusion.

    I'm done with you, too. Have fun.
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    (Original post by Ade9000)
    All I did was take your reasoning to a logical conclusion.

    I'm done with you, too. Have fun.
    Except, you took it to an illogical conclusion.

    Enjoy your day, please refrain from sexually harassing strangers if you can help it.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    How do you girls feel about guys approaching you in the street for your number etc? I'm asking because I was in a restaurant a few days ago and there was this girl I really wanted to approach but she was sitting down with her friend and I didn't want to interrupt. Opportunity passed. How do you girls feel if I approached you in that situation? And how do you feel about giving out your number to a guy generally? Both gender's opinion welcome
    It depends, comments by groups of boys like "your fit" and other and comment made by a group in the street make me feel uncomfortable personally and I certainly wouldn't I near them or tell them any personal details.

    If your trying to approach a girl you don't know for the best results I'd say go up to her and sincerely say something like "I was standing over there and I noticed you. I just wanted to say I think you look really pretty." Or something nice like that so you don't intimidate them. Then perhaps ask if she'd want to get a coffee or something so you could get to know more about her.
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    (Original post by cole-slaw)
    Except, you took it to an illogical conclusion.

    Enjoy your day, please refrain from sexually harassing strangers if you can help it.
    Will do and you enjoy living life with your illogical rules of the world.
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    Same as being approached anywhere else. If you're good looking, it's fine. If you're ugly, it's creepy as ****.
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    I had never been approached in the street until a couple of months ago, but since then it's happened several times. I find it flattering, but also a bit awkward, because I am in a long term relationship and obviously I'm not interested in dating anyone else.

    Generally, I think it's fine as long as guys realise that girls have no obligation to give out their phone number or talk to them. I'm always polite, but I don't appreciate it when guys think we owe them something.
 
 
 
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