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Can you ask a girl out 8 years later? Watch

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    (Original post by Br33gu11)
    I don't know why so many people have been saying this is romantic or encouraging you to go after this girl in such bizzare means, but I'd be very creeped out if someone I met once had became so fixated with me and had continued to to stalk me to find out what I did and where I hung out rather than just sending me a message to say hi. Really wouldn't encourage me to want any further contact with them if I found out.

    You could just make a Facebook and send her a straight forward message to see if she even remembers you. Can't believe you've had her profile details for almost two months and not considered being upfront with her. A message from a newly created profile is nowhere near as creepy or strange as what you're doing now.

    Not trying to be mean, but real life isn't a sitcom and you aren't Ted Mosby.
    I see no problem trying to meet someone in person and would say that it's creepy to be on Facebook and just gorge over other's profiles.

    Nothing wrong with trying to be Ted. Good luck mate.

    But you may have to msg her if the in person route proves difficult as you'd have to bump into her. Still would need to use Fb to see where she's at.
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    Do it,id be flattered id made such an impression
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    (Original post by ***OpenSky***)
    Do it,id be flattered id made such an impression
    Thanks!

    Just how do I meet her?
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    (Original post by Br33gu11)
    What's wrong with a simple Facebook message?

    The OP is basically stalking this girl's profile right now and if I was her and found out about it, I would not want to have anything else to do with him. The fact that he's actively using Facebook to find out what this girl is up to right now - without putting any of his own information out there or even having a real profile - is quite strange and I'm not sure why people think that's romantic.

    I also see no problem with meeting someone in person and there's nothing wrong with innocently bumping into someone in the street and re-connecting with them. But the OP is obsessing over where this girl might be next so that he can arrange to be there at the same time and that's an entirely different matter.

    A simple 'Hi, remember me?' message followed by asking if she wants to catch up if he gets a positive response is nowhere near as strange as what he's doing right now.
    Thanks for the response. Yo I'm not obsessing over and I haven't googled her profile for months on end, I literally recently stumbled across her name whilst looking up clients with my friend at work.

    I agree I would rather meet her coincidentally, but I'm just not a Facebook person. I have no profile on there.

    How would I send a message and it not look odd that I only just got on FB?

    Suggestions for a nice message to send her then? I'm only looking to reconnect that's all! We got on well all those years ago!
    • #1
    #1

    (Original post by Br33gu11)
    What's wrong with a simple Facebook message?

    The OP is basically stalking this girl's profile right now and if I was her and found out about it, I would not want to have anything else to do with him. The fact that he's actively using Facebook to find out what this girl is up to right now - without putting any of his own information out there or even having a real profile - is quite strange and I'm not sure why people think that's romantic.

    I also see no problem with meeting someone in person and there's nothing wrong with innocently bumping into someone in the street and re-connecting with them. But the OP is obsessing over where this girl might be next so that he can arrange to be there at the same time and that's an entirely different matter.

    A simple 'Hi, remember me?' message followed by asking if she wants to catch up if he gets a positive response is nowhere near as strange as what he's doing right now.
    I see your point, but OP doesn't sound like he is obsessed, just a romantic.

    I agree coincidence is preferable, but unlike in movies, it seems to be less lucky in real life.

    Wouldn't you have to setup an entire profile from scratch with background to contact her via the Facebook approach? That seems like a lot of effort and creepy?
    • #6
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    (Original post by Br33gu11)
    What's wrong with a simple Facebook message?

    The OP is basically stalking this girl's profile right now and if I was her and found out about it, I would not want to have anything else to do with him. The fact that he's actively using Facebook to find out what this girl is up to right now - without putting any of his own information out there or even having a real profile - is quite strange and I'm not sure why people think that's romantic.

    I also see no problem with meeting someone in person and there's nothing wrong with innocently bumping into someone in the street and re-connecting with them. But the OP is obsessing over where this girl might be next so that he can arrange to be there at the same time and that's an entirely different matter.

    A simple 'Hi, remember me?' message followed by asking if she wants to catch up if he gets a positive response is nowhere near as strange as what he's doing right now.
    As a girl, if a nice get in touch, checks you out and is nervous then it's cute.

    It's only creepy if the guy is cocky and not nice.

    As a girl I would prefer in person tbh and would feel flattered at someone finding me!
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    (Original post by Br33gu11)
    Not saying you have been Googling her all the time, but just the fact this topic has been going on so long and you still haven't made any direct contact with her is enough to make it somewhat creepy.

    You don't even have to point out the fact that you just got Facebook, and if you're so worried that she'll judge an empty profile you could just add a couple of actual friends before contacting her and fill out the basic information. No need to put your whole life story down if you don't want it out there and no one can blame you.

    I would literally just send her a message that mentions you stumbled across her profile (or heck, you could even be honest and mention the Linkedin thing - it is the best policy!) and that you hope she remembers you, maybe throw in a little something asking about how she's been doing. If you get a positive response, feel free to take it from there and ask if she'd like to meet up at some point. At least you'll have put yourself out there and can make some sort of progress in possibly re-connecting with her rather than continuing to try and orchestrate a meetup by guessing where she's going to be as there's a very slim chance you'll have any success with that, and unless you plan on hiding it from her forever, I don't think a lot of girls would take that too well.


    Takes a few minutes to set up a profile and would be a lot less creepy that just silently keeping track of where she might be to pretend to bump into her by chance.
    I suppose so. Chances of face to face seem to be slim. Thing is if I set up Facebook, she might have hundreds of friends, to add mine would take time and even then my profile would look empty wouldn't it? Just a dozen friends and no pictures to speak of..

    How would you phrase the message?
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    (Original post by pshah2)
    Thanks!

    Just how do I meet her?
    ive not been following the thread but from what I can gather you've not got facebook? just make facebook and send her a message. maybe just asking her what shes been up to
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    (Original post by pshah2)
    If you met and fell for a girl 8 years ago at an exchange event, got on really well with her, but lost her number... and then by chance find out she works in the same city as you now, would it all right to go and find her and ask her out?
    Sounds like Serendipity.
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    You can do it- London's big but if you like her enough you will eventually find her
    • #3
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    (Original post by Br33gu11)
    I don't know why so many people have been saying this is romantic or encouraging you to go after this girl in such bizzare means, but I'd be very creeped out if someone I met once had became so fixated with me and had continued to to stalk me to find out what I did and where I hung out rather than just sending me a message to say hi. Really wouldn't encourage me to want any further contact with them if I found out.

    You could just make a Facebook and send her a straight forward message to see if she even remembers you. Can't believe you've had her profile details for almost two months and not considered being upfront with her. A message from a newly created profile is nowhere near as creepy or strange as what you're doing now.

    Not trying to be mean, but real life isn't a sitcom and you aren't Ted Mosby.
    I know, reading this thread is bringing back all the memories of the time that guy stalked me, and it's really creeping me out. It sounds like the OP and now some stranger she doesn't know from TSR are watching her Facebook to see when she posts something like 'Gone to visit this restaurant' so the OP can conveniently turn up there. It's really scary. The guy I knew did this to me once- the police somehow found out he'd monitored my Facebook for up to eight hours a day. I wish I could contact this girl and tell her to watch out on what she posts- I know the OP only has good intentions, but so did the guy who stalked me and it still scared me enough to call the police once I realised how involved he was getting. And if he had just sent me a message asking me out like a normal guy, the sad thing is I really do think I'd still know him now.
    • #1
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I know, reading this thread is bringing back all the memories of the time that guy stalked me, and it's really creeping me out. It sounds like the OP and now some stranger she doesn't know from TSR are watching her Facebook to see when she posts something like 'Gone to visit this restaurant' so the OP can conveniently turn up there. It's really scary. The guy I knew did this to me once- the police somehow found out he'd monitored my Facebook for up to eight hours a day. I wish I could contact this girl and tell her to watch out on what she posts- I know the OP only has good intentions, but so did the guy who stalked me and it still scared me enough to call the police once I realised how involved he was getting. And if he had just sent me a message asking me out like a normal guy, the sad thing is I really do think I'd still know him now.
    Don't think OP is like this. He has only been looking for a month and it was by chance if you read the thread. Just another keen guy who fancies someone.

    It will either:
    a) faze out as he moves on
    b) result in a happy ending if he sends a fb message and reconnects

    Bud, think you should just message her on facebook or twitter or whatever, you're not going to be able to accidentally bump into someone in a place as big as London!
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    (Original post by Profesh)
    Sounds like Serendipity.
    Haha classic film!
    • #3
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Don't think OP is like this. He has only been looking for a month and it was by chance if you read the thread. Just another keen guy who fancies someone.

    It will either:
    a) faze out as he moves on
    b) result in a happy ending if he sends a fb message and reconnects

    Bud, think you should just message her on facebook or twitter or whatever, you're not going to be able to accidentally bump into someone in a place as big as London!
    I've been reading, and posting, since the beginning. As I said a few weeks ago, the guy that I had to call the police on was just a keen guy who fancied me. I very rarely refer to him as a stalker, to my friends he is that-guy-who-tried-to-be-romantic (catchy nickname, I know...). The problem is when 'being keen' crosses boundaries, and I think checking someone's Facebook (or getting a stranger on TSR to do it) until they post where they're located at a certain time, and then proceeding to go to that place and pretending you've bumped into them by accident is crossing a boundary. It might be one of those things that sounds like a movie romance, but so does leaving presents and flowers outside someone's house anonymously. And until these things happen to you, you don't realise how unnerving they can be.

    A FB message, or a Twitter message or whatever, is a much better route.
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    Wow! A bit too eager!

    Posted from TSR Mobile
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    (Original post by Br33gu11)
    Not everyone has hundreds of friends on Facebook, and if I saw a profile like your hypothetical one, I would just assume that you keep your Facebook list narrowed down to people you actually know. Would also only take her a moment to notice your friend request if she's online/uses an app as they do pop up straight away.

    Literally something along the lines of what I said in my previous post: Hi, remember me from [wherever you met]? Stumbled across your profile/friend found you on Linkedin (depends if you want to be honest with her or not, although I don't think anyone has much chance in a relationship (friend or otherwise) if they aren't upfront) and wouldn't mind catching up. How've you been?

    Just a basic thing, but you don't need to go too elaborate on a first message.

    Depending on what sort of response you get, you can take it from there and ask if she'd like to hang out or do something. I guarantee it's a much less complicated approach than what you've been doing.

    Edit: Also, I'd just shove at least a profile photo on there so it doesn't look bare, but you don't have to go crazy and shove all the photos you've ever had taken on. Even just a simple selfie is better than nothing, and I know a lot of people who don't like have photos taken and just leave it at that.

    Okay cool, will try this then, thanks
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    When Harry Met Sally...
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    (Original post by LJStudent)
    When Harry Met Sally...
    Haha true
 
 
 
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