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    (Original post by Ekemini)
    Right now its very confusing for me because this has been banged into my head so I don't know where I stand with it. But as for me it is an intimate thing that I cant imagine myself doing casually and is an experience I only want to share with one person: My very own jack frost
    Wow bandicoot you keep me own my toes
    Just have a think. It's a massive life decision. I respect your decision to wait until marriage, but please don't do so only out of fear of being labelled slut.

    The artist formerly known as R runs this town bruh
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    (Original post by Ekemini)
    Yeah. Where I am from Those women are called prostitutes. There are women who are not virgins. I have no problem with them. If you want to save yourself for marriage its your choice. If you dont its also your choice.
    From what you have said, it is not prostitutes but normal women (like a woman you described who was getting married and men were bragging about having slept with her).

    You haven't answered with any logic though. Either you think BOTH sexes should save themselves for marriage, or you admit there is no reason to do so.
    There is no logical reason to have one rule for one sex and a different rule for the other.
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    (Original post by Eva.Gregoria)
    The same men judging her about not begin a virgin all slept around too. Why aren't they shamed as well?
    because it's natural biologically for men to desire sex and is culturally accepted as well so it doesn't affect his reputation negatively which it does for girl because it will make her look indecent and degraded.
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    (Original post by Ekemini)
    No its what I want. I have learned to ignore society's views when it comes o my decisions. Anything could happen between the period after having sex and before the marriage. I don't really know how to explain this to you. What is wrong in waiting the extra year or so?
    Nothing. However, please explain what the wedding achieves in terms of showing your commitment:

    A) To each other; and

    B) In front of God

    That making a promise to each other does not.
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    (Original post by Ekemini)
    Ok I know the title might offend some people. I am notcalling girls who are not virgin’s sluts. Over there in America or UK it isprobably not a big deal but here it is. I am African and we value values. Ifyou are not a virgin and you get married, the husband would find out (obviously)and you become a disgrace to yourself as well as your family... My dad puts itlike this: you can’t have your cake and eat it too. To Africans (ok Nigerians)the men would want you to be a virgin. My dad says that’s why I should beware ofboys. They would sleep around and do what they want but when they are lookingfor a wife they would be looking for a virgin. He gave me an example. At a friend’swedding after the ceremony a couple of men stood and started talking about thebride. What were they saying? Well they were talking about how they each hadhad a piece of the girl. They were boasting and bragging. She wasn’t a virginand all those men had slept with her. I can’t really remember if the groom overheardthem but my dad asks that why would a girl want that kind of a reputation? Why couldn’tshe just wait? Why is she such in a hurry? It’s a thing of pride if a father cangive off his daughter as a virgin. It shows that the girl was brought up rightand society would respect those parents. The questions and statements made in the last few lines were made by my dad, not me. What do you guys think?

    Your father is right , non virgin are worthless , I can explain it to you if you want.
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    (Original post by Eva.Gregoria)
    The same men judging her about not begin a virgin all slept around too. Why aren't they shamed as well?
    There are still a huge number of us who value the sanctity of marriage. I'm chaste so I except my future wife to be a virgin like me .So if you are to consider men are always not chaste enough and it is acceptable for them to marry a girl who had premarital sex please think twice!! there are still men who firmly believe chastity is for them too !! in your point of view even if a girl says to her husband that she had sex before marriage, her husband who has been upholding virtues taught to him should to say to her Its ok?? i think that might not be possible here !!! because we people here are not like westeners !!
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    I wouldn't be surprised if most of immigrants from Africa are Nigerian females.



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    Obviously men would prefer a yogurt which has not been opened to one which has been open.
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    (Original post by Eva.Gregoria)
    The level of analytical and thinking skills displayed on this thread, she might as well have just finished primary school as far as I'm concerned.
    You don't sound much better, what with your limited understanding of sexual dimorphism and ideological desire for completely equal sexes. Funnily enough, although OP is just being lead by tradition, she has a far better grasp on reality than you do.

    'Thinking' skills doesn't just mean the ability to criticise tradition...

    In fact, answer this women: how many partners/abortions have you had? Are you a happy and fulfilled person?
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    (Original post by slade p)
    Obviously men would prefer a yogurt which has not been opened to one which has been open.
    :rofl:

    What is the yoghurt in this analogy?
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    (Original post by Eva.Gregoria)
    :rofl:

    What is the yoghurt in this analogy?
    You know what, stop acting!
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    (Original post by slade p)
    You know what, stop acting!
    :lolwut:

    No, you tell me.
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    (Original post by Eva.Gregoria)
    :lolwut:

    No, you tell me.
    lol still acting like you don't know, come on now don't be pretentious.
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    (Original post by slade p)
    lol still acting like you don't know, come on now don't be pretentious.
    No your analogy makes no sense and is quite laughable.

    Thanks for the chuckle.
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    (Original post by Ekemini)
    Ok so maybe I am sheep. I am a Christian and in the bible it is obvious that it is preferable for women to be virgins. Since you said I cant think for myself, this Is what I think. Personally I want to be a virgin when I get married. Maybe because I think sex is an such an intimate act and shouldn't be done with just anybody but someone I want to spend the rest of my life with. Even if its with a boyfriend i would rather prefer to wait. I cant imagine doing it casually. Like it doesn't mean anything. Its going to be a man putting his manhood into me. I am that sort of person not comfortable with the thought of different men in that kind of position with me. To some its not that deep but for me it is. That's just me
    But if you husband is a poor sex-lover, you'll be stuck with him for the rest of your life. Your life will be sad. It's just your choice.
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    (Original post by Ekemini)
    Ok I know the title might offend some people. I am notcalling girls who are not virgin’s sluts. Over there in America or UK it isprobably not a big deal but here it is. I am African and we value values. Ifyou are not a virgin and you get married, the husband would find out (obviously)and you become a disgrace to yourself as well as your family... My dad puts itlike this: you can’t have your cake and eat it too. To Africans (ok Nigerians)the men would want you to be a virgin. My dad says that’s why I should beware ofboys. They would sleep around and do what they want but when they are lookingfor a wife they would be looking for a virgin. He gave me an example. At a friend’swedding after the ceremony a couple of men stood and started talking about thebride. What were they saying? Well they were talking about how they each hadhad a piece of the girl. They were boasting and bragging. She wasn’t a virginand all those men had slept with her. I can’t really remember if the groom overheardthem but my dad asks that why would a girl want that kind of a reputation? Why couldn’tshe just wait? Why is she such in a hurry? It’s a thing of pride if a father cangive off his daughter as a virgin. It shows that the girl was brought up rightand society would respect those parents. The questions and statements made in the last few lines were made by my dad, not me. What do you guys think?
    I am the only one who thinks hymen hunting is creepy and well just a bit sick? Nothing wrong with being with a virgin but actually actively seeking one out... Hmmm....

    Plus there's not just virgins and whores... There's everything between. There's women who lost their 'virginity' against their will. And there's the tricky definition of virgin. I have known plenty of women (yes including Nigerian) 'saving myself for marriage' who do anal and oral as a substitute. I already had 3 sexual partners before I 'lost' my 'virginity'. Not every virgin as a pure as you may think. Hell not every virgin is a virgin have you any idea how many people lie? How many 'virgins' really walk down that aisle?

    And about the whole why are women in a hurry? Well likewise why be so thirsty and in such a hurry to marry? I have seen these poor women holding out wreaking of desperation like their whole life depends on it all they talk about is marriage and then they end up getting married prematurely. Contracted to a man they barely know.. Surely rushing into marriage is worse than rushing into bed. Well that's just my opinion. I know your dad made the original statements.

    (Original post by Josb)
    But if you husband is a poor sex-lover, you'll be stuck with him for the rest of your life. Your life will be sad. It's just your choice.
    Agreed. Little miss virginity may just be driven to cheat in the end as she has been deprived of good loving her entire life. Karma, baby.
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    Double standards flying all over the place.

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    (Original post by Emaemmaemily)
    From what you have said, it is not prostitutes but normal women (like a woman you described who was getting married and men were bragging about having slept with her).

    You haven't answered with any logic though. Either you think BOTH sexes should save themselves for marriage, or you admit there is no reason to do so.
    There is no logical reason to have one rule for one sex and a different rule for the other.
    I personally think both that man and woman should remain virgins, You know, discover the new experience together. I think its even more romantic
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    (Original post by Le Nombre)
    Nothing. However, please explain what the wedding achieves in terms of showing your commitment:

    A) To each other; and

    B) In front of God

    That making a promise to each other does not.
    The union formed at the altar. When the priest says you are now husband and wife. The union has been formed in God's presence the way he wants it. It Is God's( I am a Christian) commandment that you should remain a virgin It shows that you have not fornicated.
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    (Original post by Josb)
    But if you husband is a poor sex-lover, you'll be stuck with him for the rest of your life. Your life will be sad. It's just your choice.
    Haha. I get
 
 
 
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