Turn on thread page Beta

Is this fair.. sister punched my dad and is grounded. watch

    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Joanna May)
    I still say calling him a **** head is a sign of an attitude problem. It completely wasn't reasonable in the situation you just described. He was harsh in calling her thick, but by getting annoyed she just escalated things. Every teenager has arguments like that with their parents, but the vast majority of teenagers wouldn't punch their parents in the face or call them things like "**** head".

    I'm worried that you seem to think calling your father a **** head and punching him in the face are reasonable things to do, and that you "lol" about her clear attitude problem. And shocked, tbh, that you even needed to ask if she deserved to be grounded for punching your father hard enough to make him bleed.
    You mean "go on p** off upstairs to your internet you bloody thick b**ch" isn't a sign of an attitude problem?
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by crumblencustard)
    Lol she punched your dad in the face after her smakced her lightly on the head

    I think she got off lightly
    :ditto:
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by the Alyx)
    Well, I do think it's unfair for dad to slap her and even worse for her to punch dad. It is unfair that they don't let her jog in the morning, as it is her daily fitness routine.
    I think she really needs to sit down with your dad and talk about what she has done and about the heating issue.
    HA its called punishment, its not supposed to be fair

    and yes its justified shes lucky he didnt get one back
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    Bit of an overreaction by your Dad, where is the consideration of others...
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by yanyanyan)
    Fair.
    His light slap was jsut a warning, either way she shouldn't have done anything but listened to him.

    Come off it. Her Dad was being a jerk-off. I've seen this attitude/behaviour in parents before many times. Why can't he open his eyes and realise how much it bothers and affects his daughter? I mean use your imagination. I bet that noise would piss most of us off. Dunno about you, but I'd certainly go and do something about it if nobody else was listening to me. If he's not part of the solution, he's part of the problem.

    And it's fudging March now, who the hell needs central heating on at this time of year except elderly, of course.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by OhNO!)
    So? He is the father, she is the child. This is a fourteen-year-old child who has been slapped and is fighting on the floor with her father! a father, a grown-man fighting on their floor with his fourteen year old child! It's ridiculous that the man would even take part in that.

    That she punched him was wrong, but it's incomparable to what he did. Really, I see a slap from a grown adult man to his own daughter as worse than a fourteen-year-old punching a grown adult. You can't hold the child to the same standards as the adult, the parent should always show the greater restraint. Her father clearly hasn't exercised any self-control, and now she is being punished by him, for following in his example!

    I think that the fact that your parents would beat you for hitting them, isn't a defense of the OP's parent's action, it merely means that the way your parents would have dealt with the situation is even more hypocritical and reprehensible.
    You have no right to tell parents how to deal with their kids. For all we know the dippy bint spends her whole life being a total ***** so I don't presume to judge a light slap as the end of the world. When you're a kid you obey your parents rules, you don't get to make the rules. It's a system that has worked and continues to work. As long as the father didn't beat her I really don't care what he did, it's not my place to tell people how to raise their children. Fine you go raise your kids in a utopian liberal paradise, whatever works for you. But I'd leave off the proselytising of your faith to others.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    funny how the people who are against being smacked for doing something wrong seem to be the ones whose parents never hit them
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Gulli)
    funny how the people who are against being smacked for doing something wrong seem to be the ones whose parents never hit them
    No it's not: clearly those who have been hit/beaten by parents have been brought up in that manner, and therefore see it as normal and acceptable. Those who have not, and have been disciplined in a different manner, but have still managed to grow up into moral and happy people, do not see the need for physical abuse in nurturing and teaching a child about the world.
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    I was hit as a child but never abused.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by PrincessRose5)
    No it's not: clearly those who have been hit/beaten by parents have been brought up in that manner, and therefore see it as normal and acceptable. Those who have not, and have been disciplined in a different manner, but have still managed to grow up into moral and happy people, do not see the need for physical abuse in nurturing and teaching a child about the world.
    It might be worth doing a study into whether being reprimanded physically or by brilliant psychological discourse turns you good or evil. I'd be interested to know how many serial killers and ardent sociopaths were smacked or not. Seriously, at least it would settle the argument about how to raise your kids a bit. And people could stop with the self righteous I was or was not smacked as a child and I turned out fine anecdotes.
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    Er if I punched my Dad in the face at 14 I certainly would not have grounded me, I would have been in traction.I told my mum to F off at that age and was battered all over the house,then told to sleep in the garden and I never swore at my mum again.

    I'ts his house at the end of the day and who does your sister think she is that she can dictate about the central heating? She is lucky she is allowed to stay in the house and if I was her I would keep a low profile.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I don't think its fair. I think your dad sounds like a ****. What kind of grown man slaps a 14 year old, even as a 'warning'. Brownie points to your sister for standing up for herself tbh.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by NoHands)
    its pretty fair. he's the father after all. theres a line you just dont cross tbh. she could jsut get earplugs and not make everyone in the house freeze.
    It sounds like one of them vibrating things. I'm deaf but I stayed over a friend's house and it vibrated keeping me up a lot of that night. Vibrations cause the noise.
    By the way, the father was justified grounding her however, the quilts were designed to keep you warm plus it's quite warm (touch wood) if you live in my area (again, touch wood) so should the central heating even be on. Also, no father should slap a child let alone theirs even as a warning, she provoked him but he provoked her through that.
    Although, I think your sister was quite brave doing that - even if it was just instinct - by the way, I jog and I can see her point of view but she should have thought of that (even though it was possibly a momentous instinct) before punching him.

    Fox
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by JMonkey)
    It might be worth doing a study into whether being reprimanded physically or by brilliant psychological discourse turns you good or evil. I'd be interested to know how many serial killers and ardent sociopaths were smacked or not. Seriously, at least it would settle the argument about how to raise your kids a bit. And people could stop with the self righteous I was or was not smacked as a child and I turned out fine anecdotes.
    Mmmm, yes, if you like, but I believe it would be based on an erroneous and ignorant principle. Plus I think we'd need to include another category along with 'reprimanded physically or by brilliant psychological discourse': non-physical discipline whereby the child is taught right from wrong and given sound principles to follow, and when they do do wrong, their parents/guardians/elders discuss the wrongdoing and try to understand what prompted the action, and help the child to come round to the right way of doing things, while also explaining that such acts merit a need for punishment, and following through with this.

    Whether or not people 'turned out fine' or not is neither here nor there: in the end people make their own decisions in life, and become the person they choose to be. The job of parents - as well as providing for their children - is to educate children as to how to behave towards others/themselves, and guide them when they get lost from these basic principles. It is not and will never be to hit/beat/hurt/put in A&E/throw out/make to feel inferior/terrify or in anyway abuse the basic trust a vulnerable child places in their primary carers.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by PrincessRose5)
    Mmmm, yes, if you like, but I believe it would be based on an erroneous and ignorant principle. Plus I think we'd need to include another category along with 'reprimanded physically or by brilliant psychological discourse': non-physical discipline whereby the child is taught right from wrong and given sound principles to follow, and when they do do wrong, their parents/guardians/elders discuss the wrongdoing and try to understand what prompted the action, and help the child to come round to the right way of doing things, while also explaining that such acts merit a need for punishment, and following through with this.

    Whether or not people 'turned out fine' or not is neither here nor there: in the end people make their own decisions in life, and become the person they choose to be. The job of parents - as well as providing for their children - is to educate children as to how to behave towards others/themselves, and guide them when they get lost from these basic principles. It is not and will never be to hit/beat/hurt/put in A&E/throw out/make to feel inferior/terrify or in anyway abuse the basic trust a vulnerable child places in their primary carers.
    You started out well, but then you strayed off the topic, what parent teaches her child that violence is appropriate in general? As for A&E :confused: then that's not discipline that's just out and out criminal activity.

    Personally I think as soon as you reach your teenage years any sort of rebuke of a physical nature should be unnecessary. But then I'm not a parent so what do I know?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by JMonkey)
    You started out well, but then you strayed off the topic, what parent teaches her child that violence is appropriate in general? As for A&E :confused: then that's not discipline that's just out and out criminal activity.
    By repeatedly physically abusing a child (as the Op's father has done by continually hitting his teenage daughter), the child learns the lesson from their main role-model for behaviour, that physical abuse is an acceptable and valid way of treating someone if you have the power and someone has done something which you do not agree with. In this way a parent instilld in their child an acceptance of violence in general and also in close family relationships.

    The reference to A&E comes from reading other people's posts in this thread: many people said that their parents hit them, and have beaten them, and many said that if they had behaved as the girl in question, their father would have half-killed them/put them in A&E and various other horrifying things.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by PrincessRose5)
    By repeatedly physically abusing a child (as the Op's father has done by continually hitting his teenage daughter), the child learns the lesson from their main role-model for behaviour, that physical abuse is an acceptable and valid way of treating someone if you have the power and someone has done something which you do not agree with. In this way a parent instilld in their child an acceptance of violence in general and also in close family relationships.

    The reference to A&E comes from reading other people's posts in this thread: many people said that their parents hit them, and have beaten them, and many said that if they had behaved as the girl in question, their father would have half-killed them/put them in A&E and various other horrifying things.
    Can you link any study that suggests if you reprimand a child with a smack they grow up to put people in A&E, you're making some pretty reaching assumptions, that people don't know the difference between a smack and a flying kick or punch. Or a paddle and a kitchen knife. You can believe whatever you like but until I see proof that smacking your kids is more likely to turn you into Hannibal Lector or whatever then its just sophistry.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by JMonkey)
    Can you link any study that suggests if you reprimand a child with a smack they grow up to put people in A&E, you're making some pretty reaching assumptions, that people don't know the difference between a smack and a flying kick or punch. Or a paddle and a kitchen knife. You can believe whatever you like but until I see proof that smacking your kids is more likely to turn you into Hannibal Lector or whatever then its just sophistry.
    You've lost your way completely - I said that people said that their parents would have put them in A&E etc - I have made no mention to whether abuse as a child means that a person will grow up as 'hannibal lector' or not.
    This has been your point, but not mine dear: please do read something properly before offering your opinion!

    Thank you for letting me believe what I like: however all this is is that children do not deserve to be physically abused, and that there is another way than beating/scaring children into behaving.

    How they turn out I have no idea: but I can guess that your parents must have neglected the literacy side of your education.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Mr Snips)
    By warn, I mean giving the opportunity to avoid it, as was the case here
    "Run, *****, before I slam this brick into your face!"

    I'm no lawyer, but I'm not sure that that would stand up in court.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by PrincessRose5)
    You've lost your way completely - I said that people said that their parents would have put them in A&E etc - I have made no mention to whether abuse as a child means that a person will grow up as 'hannibal lector' or not.
    This has been your point, but not mine dear: please do read something properly before offering your opinion!

    Thank you for letting me believe what I like: however all this is is that children do not deserve to be physically abused, and that there is another way than beating/scaring children into behaving.

    How they turn out I have no idea: but I can guess that your parents must have neglected the literacy side of your education.
    I think you lost the plot ages ago, everything you have said is a matter of opinion. I'm the only one asking for some independent verification. And as I said until then you have no right to force your beliefs on anyone else, based on your anecdotal accounts of the world according to you. Do you actually really believe when someone says my dad would of killed me they meant he actually would of put them in a body bag, or have you grasped the idea behind colourful language yet?

    You should of just stopped at saying people should raise their kids however they see fit, and left out the preachy patronising sermon about how smacking kids is evil.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: March 18, 2009
Poll
Were you ever put in isolation at school?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.