Mental Health Support Society XVIII

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    #10

    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    Unless you know how to find and destroy spy cameras then not really.

    I hope your parents make you feel better. There are various things that could calm you down or help you sleep so might be worth a word with your doc - a lot don't like to prescribe large amounts of these but even a few to have in emergencies is worth it imo. Good luck! :hugs: Hope you get some sleep and feel better soon.
    :hugs: Actyally someyhing had just come up and now I don't think i can trust my friends anymore, maybe they are all out to get me :cry2:
    #1

    You know what I find annoying..
    When you give like 100% to people despite being 10% yourself or messaging someone in the mornings being smiley and happy despite the fact you just had some vivid great saga of a dream which was ****ing exhausting and felt like you were actually living it and yet no-one appreciates it at all.
    So excuse me if im less than always friendly with people. Might have to take time to like not give stuff to others for a bit whether that is on tsr or off because it is too tiring, like rn I really don't want to let someone down but i cba for a long conversation bc disrupted sleep last night.
    So apologies to like the whole world :goodnight:

    ~Anon 1
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    I feel like everyone has abandoned me and I'm all on my own.

    So much for "I'll always be there for you"

    Like you read my messages but don't reply? What's the point? You said that I could always message you when I was feeling like this. Yet you don't reply to me. And you know that when I'm like this I need support and hugs. Not obvious ignoring.

    I think everyone who I'm friends with has pushed me away now. What's the point of even trying anymore. I don't even get replies on MHSS anymore (no offence to you guys and I know you're all busy but sometimes I just need a reply with simple hugs and knowing that someone is aware of how crap I'm feeling and a little glimmer of hope that things will me okay.)

    I don't know what to do. Work has drained me. I'm a pathetic she'll of what I used to be. I don't know how I'm going to cope with 3 weeks with only my parents and sister around me in the same hotel room. It's just going to break me.

    :hide: I wish everything was okay. I wish I had someone close to me who gets it and understands it. I hate this feeling of abandonment. It ****ing sucks.
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    :cry2:
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    (Original post by Midnightmemories)
    X
    Hey :hugs:

    Firstly, I'm sorry if you feel as though no-one replies to any of your posts in here. I don't think think it's intentional at all or a reflection on you as person or the things you post. People just tend to use this thread as place to put down their own thoughts or how they're feeling at one particular moment, so even though it might have looked like they haven't read what you've said; it might be more that they don't know what to say?

    I realise you're not asking for much for people to reply with a ':hugs:' smiley and you're really not asking for much - I promise and I empathise with the fact that someone acknowledging that what you're going through sounds really, very tough can make the world of difference, just people in here tend to post when they're in crisis and therefore not always in the best place mentally to offer support and that might be why some of your posts may not be replied to that's all? :console:
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    (Original post by Deyesy)
    Hey :hugs:

    Firstly, I'm sorry if you feel as though no-one replies to any of your posts in here. I don't think think it's intentional at all or a reflection on you as person or the things you post. People just tend to use this thread as place to put down their own thoughts or how they're feeling at one particular moment, so even though it might have looked like they haven't read what you've said; it might be more that they don't know what to say?

    I realise you're not asking for much for people to reply with a ':hugs:' smiley and you're really not asking for much - I promise and I empathise with the fact that someone acknowledging that what you're going through sounds really, very tough can make the world of difference, just people in here tend to post when they're in crisis and therefore not always in the best place mentally to offer support and that might be why some of your posts may not be replied to that's all? :console:
    I don't even know why I'm moaning about this in the first place to be honest, it's not like anyone gives a **** about me. :rofl:

    Like I'm not even asking directly for hugs, like I know what this thread is used for mostly since I've been around just over 1 1/2 years ish now I think. I just think when stuff gets ignored and and stuff now it's what I deserve. I just wonder sometimes if people actually read what I put and actually like see I'm struggling. Because it seems like the facade I put on offline is now showing in here. I'm acting like everything is fine but in reality it isn't and I don't know what to do about it. Can't seek medical help either because of the waiting list to see a doctor. That plus how she's always late means I'd end up cancelling. I'd just bottle it. And waste NHS time. :hide:

    I just feel that I'm just a invisible person now a days and I used to be able to seek support on this thread. Now it just seems like I'm just a piece of the furniture. And I'm just invisible. :hide:

    Sorry for the constant mess tonight, really not in a good place. I've been going well for the past week and now today everything's hit me. And tonight my best friend probably hates me. She was my rock.

    I'm just a ****ing loner now.
    #33

    What do I even do anymore. Just over 3 weeks ago my girlfriend ended it with me. It was long distance, but we just about made it work. The long distance isn't by no means the longest, we are in neighboring countries. She herself suffers with depression and part of me does truly believe that her mental health eroded our relationship. She was the love of my life, I loved nothing more than her and I would move Heaven and Earth for that girl. She meant and still does mean a lot to me. The heartbreak is so painful, the sharp pains, tightness of the chest, shortness of breath and general rumination for her. It hurts way too much and at night it gets so painful.

    We have been talking and she's unsure about a future relationship because she has thoughts of 'feeling bad' for me or just saying yes because she's empathetic of my situation. But hearing that just saddens me even more. I know she was in love with me, she would always say that she missed me and couldn't wait for her to go to university next year (same university that I'm currently studying at) so that the long distance would go away and we'd have a proper working physical relationship without the strains of long distance.

    Before you read the following spoiler know that I'm fully ashamed of what I have done. And I just want advice as to how to deal with pain like this and it's not as simple as: Do a hobby to take your mind off it (I already have a few and whilst I'm doing the said hobby often I would freeze and just think about it involuntarily and break down) or find somebody else to push her away or stop thinking about her. It's not that simple
    SH TW
    Spoiler:
    Show
    This part I am disgusted and ashamed about. I normally live by a philosophy of being positive, I was always known as that positive guy and happy guy no matter what. And I kept it to myself that I would keep this way of life ever since I saw my best friend nearly take his life in front of my eyes, I don't want to go into the details, but it's something I could have prevented if I had talked to him properly about it - he's fine now, this was over 5-6 years ago. Ever since then SH has been extremely vivid for me, something I would always advise anybody against and I have supported many people who have inflicted SH.

    Until three days ago, I did it to myself. And I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror, I felt physically sick. But the mountains of emotional pain and heartache are too much to bear I miss her that much.
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    Yay for anxiety ruining my sleep. At a campsite and just like at home every little sound makes me think there's a murderer. All the places I could possibly sleep have some feature that makes it easier for murderers to find me, or at least in my mind they do. My God, I'm pathetic.
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    I live in the US so things are a little different. Rather than being able to resit a final exam, I have to do the whole class again - which is lectures 3 times a week with a quiz in every one, then 2 lab exams and 3 lecture exams. I made 100% attendance both times I did the class and attempted all the reading but I just couldn't memorize enough of the material. I find it very hard to concentrate and my memory and motivation both suck too probably from the medication I'm on. It's basically a memorize everything class and I just can't deal with that (I actually got the lowest grade in the class). If I do go for it I have 3 other classes as well so it's a lot of work and I don't thnink anything has changed which would allow me to pass this time round.

    Gonna be starting my second semester in August.

    I'm not really a big drinker, usually a bottle of beer or cider once a week though yesterday I had 2 glasses of red wine, a can of 8% beer mixed with 1.5mg clonazepam.


    Oops! Sorry for the wall of text. How're you? Are you at uni? I've seen you post quite a few helpful posts around the site.
    Yes sounds tough. try to lay off the wine okay?
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    (Original post by Midnightmemories)
    I don't even know why I'm moaning about this in the first place to be honest, it's not like anyone gives a **** about me. :rofl:
    Hey,

    Firstly, I'm truly sorry. I'm one of the people that posts on here and usually just has a rant or moan, and should take a bit more notice of what other people are going through.

    I'm actually feeling very similar about people irl. I've spent weeks asking people for conversation and support, and gotten nearly all dead ends, and it has made me feel a million times worse. It really does suck.

    The fact so many of us would recognise your username shows that we do care about your posts, because (speaking for myself at least) you are remembered. Please don't feel like you are on your own with how you feel.

    Can completely relate in terms of nhs support. I'm in a right state at the moment and feel like there's nowhere to turn, and this is all still pretty new to me (only got my first diagnosis 18 months ago, and had no problems two years ago). I hope you can find another form of support, because you do deserve it
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    X
    Hey,

    Time does heal. It sounds cliche, and it can take a long time, but eventually it will stop hurting as much...
    I don't want to give you relationship advice, but talking to her probably isn't helping you to get your head straight right now. You need to find things that you enjoy, including friends, and find your own reasons to carry on.
    I'm saying this from experience, please don't hide away your emotions or turn the hurt on yourself. Talk to people, anyone, write it down, offload. There are a lot of people who get low after a break up, and I'm sure any of them would lend an ear.
    You deserve to enjoy life, and you can find a way through this!
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    (Original post by Midnightmemories)
    I don't even know why I'm moaning about this in the first place to be honest, it's not like anyone gives a **** about me. :rofl:

    Like I'm not even asking directly for hugs, like I know what this thread is used for mostly since I've been around just over 1 1/2 years ish now I think. I just think when stuff gets ignored and and stuff now it's what I deserve. I just wonder sometimes if people actually read what I put and actually like see I'm struggling. Because it seems like the facade I put on offline is now showing in here. I'm acting like everything is fine but in reality it isn't and I don't know what to do about it. Can't seek medical help either because of the waiting list to see a doctor. That plus how she's always late means I'd end up cancelling. I'd just bottle it. And waste NHS time. :hide:

    I just feel that I'm just a invisible person now a days and I used to be able to seek support on this thread. Now it just seems like I'm just a piece of the furniture. And I'm just invisible. :hide:

    Sorry for the constant mess tonight, really not in a good place. I've been going well for the past week and now today everything's hit me. And tonight my best friend probably hates me. She was my rock.

    I'm just a ****ing loner now.
    If you feel you can't go to your GP have you thought of looking at other sources of help? I've seen you post before that you had counselling. Was that helpful? Maybe you can see if you can get referred to counselling without going to your GP. Improving Access to Psychological Therapies may be such service.
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    :cry2:
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    (Original post by Midnightmemories)
    Hope you're okay, haven't spoken to you in awhile :hugs:
    Quite manic atm but hanging on in there

    Sorry to read you are hurting so much. FWIW, I tend not to reply anymore because

    a) your messages are always very very cryptic. So even though I feel I ought to know what is going on with you, I really don't. Without knowing what's going on, I don't know how to help :dontknow:

    b) if you can't/won't explore NHS avenues of help, I've no idea what to suggest

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    #1

    yknow when you just want to have a conversation with someone but no-one wants to hear it.
    #33

    (Original post by Ezme39)
    Hey,

    Time does heal. It sounds cliche, and it can take a long time, but eventually it will stop hurting as much...
    I don't want to give you relationship advice, but talking to her probably isn't helping you to get your head straight right now. You need to find things that you enjoy, including friends, and find your own reasons to carry on.
    I'm saying this from experience, please don't hide away your emotions or turn the hurt on yourself. Talk to people, anyone, write it down, offload. There are a lot of people who get low after a break up, and I'm sure any of them would lend an ear.
    You deserve to enjoy life, and you can find a way through this!
    As much as I appreciate the advice to 'move on', it is not simple. I cannot move on. We are very good friends and I support her in her mental health issues as well as many other things. She'll be coming to the university which I study at next year as well, I can't just 'move on'. Again, I have found things I enjoy and it doesn't help, it helps for a short finite amount of time before the feelings come back again and I can't enjoy the hobby any longer. I also talk to people and it still doesn't help.

    This heartbreak is huge, it's not as simple as you say
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    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    Quite manic atm but hanging on in there

    Sorry to read you are hurting so much. FWIW, I tend not to reply anymore because

    a) your messages are always very very cryptic. So even though I feel I ought to know what is going on with you, I really don't. Without knowing what's going on, I don't know how to help :dontknow:

    b) if you can't/won't explore NHS avenues of help, I've no idea what to suggest

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Good that you're hanging in there :hugs:

    I try not to be cryptic, it's just a habit I suppose I have because I'm aware that some people that know me irl know I use TSR and they could figure out who I am if I state the obvious on this thread. :dunno: I have been working on this recently, I just really struggle being open with people. And the entire NHS thing, I've tried before but it didn't go well.(she like side stepped the entire thing lol) I'm going to try again when I come back from holiday I think. :hide:

    --
    Thanks for your support last night guys, I was just feeling very low and I didn't know where to turn too.
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    I'm still really drained mentally and physically from the medical yesterday and had a few panic attacks today but managed to get through them and make Callan a homemade birthday card for tomorrow. It perked me up a little
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    As much as I appreciate the advice to 'move on', it is not simple. I cannot move on. We are very good friends and I support her in her mental health issues as well as many other things. She'll be coming to the university which I study at next year as well, I can't just 'move on'. Again, I have found things I enjoy and it doesn't help, it helps for a short finite amount of time before the feelings come back again and I can't enjoy the hobby any longer. I also talk to people and it still doesn't help.

    This heartbreak is huge, it's not as simple as you say
    I wasn't trying to make it sound simple, and I'm sorry if that's how it came across.
    I meant that you need space to sort your own self out before you can be a shoulder to her, because neither of you sound like you are in a good place right now. And it is really hard to do, because you would naturally be used to being there for each other.
    I had the same problem with my ex, because I was his only friend (literally), and he had been my only support through an eating disorder. It seems counter-intuitive to back off during such a difficult time... but, from what you've said, she needs to find other forms of support too, and a bit of space might encourage her to do that.
    I may be completely wrong, but in my own case, I regretted not taking that step back, and it took me much longer to get my head straight afterwards.
    If she's going to university, that's a great opportunity to make other friends for additional support. A lot of unis have great counselling services too
    Some people find that, gradually, they start enjoying the hobbies for longer- maybe that will be the case for you Or just anything that can distract you for any time at all. If you can just 'get by' at the moment, it will (believe me!) start to get easier. Do you have people that you're close to, to share any of your feelings with?
    #6

    I keep finding little bugs in my house and it is really bothering me. Like I don't know what they are and I'm worried that there are more of them and that they are on me or my stuff and that they are damaging things. It makes me feel like my room/house is dirty (which it isn't really I don't think) and I feel just generally unsettled because these bugs can get in and I can't stop them or get rid of them and I don't even know if there are more hiding around the place and just eewww it feels so gross

    Anon 6
 
 
 
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