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I'm sick being treated like a piece of meat at clubs. . . Watch

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Anon as I know people on here.

    I'm getting really sick of being treated like a piece of meat at clubs. Really sick of it. When I go to a club I don't go to pull, I go there to just chill out with my friends and dance a bit. I really love clubbing for that reason and don't want to stop going. But it seems that everytime I go out at the moment it turns into an unpleasant experience as I end up with loads of creeps following me, touching me, one guy even shoved his tongue down my throat without warning the other night. . . I always say "no" or "f*** off" or "I'm not interested" but still they pursue me, try to grind with me or something else.

    Guys just don't take "No" for an answer, even if you say it repeatedly. Hell I even had to slap a guy recently and scream, "GET OFF ME!" and he still pursued me. What can I do?

    Now don't get me wrong, if people want to pull at clubs that's fine, that's there call but I never ask for that kind of attention, i.e. I don't wear particularly tight or revealing clothing when I go out to get attention. I also don't drink, or drink that much, mostly because I had a horrible experience recently where my drink got spiked and I was dragged off to some guy's house.

    I always thought pulling or meeting someone should be a sub aim of the evening, not the focus to find anything that moves to f***. All I want is to be left alone. And if someone wants to ask me out or hell, even pull me, they can treat me in a respectable manner and not try and pull my skirt up in a club or touch me.

    Sorry about the rant. Anyone agree with me? Hell any advice? I really don't want to stop clubbing as I love it.
    You are most likely going to clubs where chart music is predominant.. going out, 'grindin' shorty on the floor' etc... theres either loads of overly sexual music where women are put on pedestals getting on the dancefloor and getting attention in revealing outfits or air to inflate the male ego about how fly they are and how drunk they can get and how all the birds like their ice and clothes etc when in reality its just a room full of borderline rapists.

    The most female friendly nights i can think of are either gay clubs (which will play club music if you like it) where the populous is men and women like you or i love techno/house nights (or any other genre really.. garage, dnb, dubstep) although that might not be your thing.. things like http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d5aYn...eature=related where the emphasis is all about dancing and enjoying music rather than going out on the pull or ****gin it up.

    Fact is, if you go to sleezy clubs playing chart music about sleezy clubs you are going to be treated like meat because thats what the vibe is.
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    Revaluate your choice of clubs.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Okay this what happened with my drink getting spiked.

    It happened at a house party (not even a club) I had just popped around to say hi and to have a drink with them before they went to the club. I wasn't going along so was dressed in baggy jeans, baggy jumper, no make up and big boots. I had two drinks and began to feel really, really drunk, hazy and couldn't control myself. No one could understand why. I had come with a friend and her friend who was visiting, but was getting a coach home that night. My friend seeing that I was looking really bad called me a taxi to take me up the road home as she had to get her friend home.

    My friend had to go but since my taxi was going to turn up in a moment or two, she left telling a few of my "so-called" friends to just look after and make sure I get in my taxi. Instead, they were getting in another taxi to the club and one of the girls (I find out later this is how it happened) thought it would be fun to bring me along too. She later protested that she "didn't want me to miss out", even though the original friend wanted her to make sure I got in my own taxi home.

    There was this strange guy in the taxi who had been at the party and I didn't know him at all. I remember very little. I remember him cuddling me in the taxi and then stopping the taxi half way to the club and dragging me by the arm. We ended up at his house and where I remember bits and pieces like how I threw up in his bathroom, how I was screaming and crying, how I begged for him to "let me go" and "I want to go home", how he dragged me to his bed, took my phone off me, felt me up and wouldn't let me leave.

    He must have eventually let me go and get a taxi home, I don't properly know. I assume I must have been crying so much as I got home and my housemates saw that my eyes were bright red and my cheeks were wet. I also had bright red marks all over my breasts. The friend who sent me in the taxi originally came running to my house shortly after I was home and told me I had sent loads of text messages like "HELP ME", "In a guys house, won't let me go, HELP", etc and a million missed calls.

    The worst thing about it was that the girl who pulled me into the taxi, who I do understand wasn't entirely to blame, told me later that she saw him dragging me off and didn't stop it because "we seemed quite tight in the taxi" and that "she didn't want to spoil my night", even though she also said I looked like I was going to pass out and was falling over a lot. She also denied that he spiked my drink even though it must have been him (or some other psycho guy?) as I had been tripping and feeling seriously drowsy the whole night. I don't speak to her or her friends anymore.

    I also found out that guy was BANNED from the nightclub we were going to, I don't know what for, but why was he in a taxi to go there in the first place?

    Now I don't trust men anymore. I went home to my mum for the weekend because I just felt so traumatised being at uni and it f***ed up many weeks of study for me. It happened a month ago and I'm still pretty traumatised. My mum told me that I shouldn't let this stop me going out, I have to be strong, she knows I'm sensible and safe.

    If you stop going out then they've won, right?
    Wow, that's quite an experience you've had. I'm really sorry you had to go through that. You're right, it shouldn't stop you from going out, but it will certainly stop you from seeing clubbing (or the world, in fact) through rose-coloured glasses. I think it's amazing that you still go out after that. Perhaps you should go to different clubs where there isn't so much snogging and grinding - gigs perhaps. I've been turned off of clubs as well and I haven't been anything like what you have. Thanks so much for sharing and I hope you manage to use that experience as a step to becoming a wise woman.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Anon as I know people on here.

    I'm getting really sick of being treated like a piece of meat at clubs. Really sick of it. When I go to a club I don't go to pull, I go there to just chill out with my friends and dance a bit. I really love clubbing for that reason and don't want to stop going. But it seems that everytime I go out at the moment it turns into an unpleasant experience as I end up with loads of creeps following me, touching me, one guy even shoved his tongue down my throat without warning the other night. . . I always say "no" or "f*** off" or "I'm not interested" but still they pursue me, try to grind with me or something else.

    Guys just don't take "No" for an answer, even if you say it repeatedly. Hell I even had to slap a guy recently and scream, "GET OFF ME!" and he still pursued me. What can I do?

    Now don't get me wrong, if people want to pull at clubs that's fine, that's there call but I never ask for that kind of attention, i.e. I don't wear particularly tight or revealing clothing when I go out to get attention. I also don't drink, or drink that much, mostly because I had a horrible experience recently where my drink got spiked and I was dragged off to some guy's house.

    I always thought pulling or meeting someone should be a sub aim of the evening, not the focus to find anything that moves to f***. All I want is to be left alone. And if someone wants to ask me out or hell, even pull me, they can treat me in a respectable manner and not try and pull my skirt up in a club or touch me.

    Sorry about the rant. Anyone agree with me? Hell any advice? I really don't want to stop clubbing as I love it.
    Hey i think you should carry mace with you or something. I go out clubbing to always dance and have fun with my mates. I'm a 19yr old male and a virgin so i'm not really looking to lose it to a one nighter. If there's a fit girl then i'll dance and even grind with her if she shows interest. If she looks bored or says no then i just leave no matter how drunk i am. If anyone bothers you then feel free to mace the **** out of them
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thank you so much! Unlike some of these other idiots you actally seem to get it!

    I think people should be able to go out in whatever they want and not be disrespected, also anyone who has actually read my original post would see that I don't actually wear slutty clothes, but still I should be able to wear what I want not have to think as to attract the wrong kind of attention.
    Um, don't act like you're above everyone else posting in this thread.

    I'm sure everyone understands what it is you were saying, and that everyone "gets" it - just because they offer up different opinions / solutions that doesn't mean they are idiots.

    People go to night clubs for different reasons; to dance, to hang out with friends, to go on the pull, to get drunk, to date rape - whatever! Not everyone is going to have the same intentions as you - so you're just going to have to accept this.

    Now, before you get on your high horse, I am not condoning the inappropriate actions of individuals, I am merely saying people go out expecting different things and will therefore act accordingly.
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    (Original post by Juicy Fruit)
    That's complete bull****, and to be honest, implies that you are a jealous, unattractive and bitter hater of your own sex who never gets any attention.

    I wore a headscarf for four years and I still had guys stalking me and pinching my ass. I don't dress or act in a slutty way and never have. A lot of men just choose to treat women with zero respect, regardless of their behaviour and or choice of clothing and as a woman yourself, you should blame the men for their choices, not women for the fact that some of us are actually attractive. Get over your own selfish bitterness. Women like you make me sick.
    Well done on being another person who failed to read my post properly.
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    (Original post by Blueflare)
    Well done on being another person who failed to read my post properly.
    You forgot to post anonymously, Blueflare.
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    (Original post by GBateman)
    You forgot to post anonymously, Blueflare.
    Why would I be posting anonymously?
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    (Original post by GBateman)
    Um, don't act like you're above everyone else posting in this thread.

    I'm sure everyone understands what it is you were saying, and that everyone "gets" it - just because they offer up different opinions / solutions that doesn't mean they are idiots.

    People go to night clubs for different reasons; to dance, to hang out with friends, to go on the pull, to get drunk, to date rape - whatever! Not everyone is going to have the same intentions as you - so you're just going to have to accept this.

    Now, before you get on your high horse, I am not condoning the inappropriate actions of individuals, I am merely saying people go out expecting different things and will therefore act accordingly.

    I think it was more of an issue of people telling the OP to not dress like a **** when she'd clearly stated that she was a modest dresser.
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    (Original post by Blueflare)
    Why would I be posting anonymously?
    I thought you were the OP based on when you said "Well done on being another person who failed to read my post properly."

    The OP *Anonymous* has said that a few times...
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    (Original post by GBateman)
    I thought you were the OP based on when you said "Well done on being another person who failed to read my post properly."

    The OP *Anonymous* has said that a few times...
    Ohhh, right. I assure you, I am not the OP though lol.
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    Then I retract my statement
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    #1

    (Original post by Joinedup)
    Still wondering why this isn't a problem for all OP's friends that she goes clubbing with :rolleyes:
    It is. They get quite sick of it too. I didn't say it was just me, it's just my experiences. But I guess I've been the most unfortunate in my experiences
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    #1

    (Original post by tinshed)
    believe me women will not go to such clubs. I've got enough neg rep from this thread I don't care any more, but the truth of the situation is no matter what she says she dresses a certain way to GAIN attention. but when it doesn't come from a nice looking guy she has a problem with it. in all my years of clubbing I have never received unwanted attention, ever, and yet I managed to have a good time with my friends.

    I am sick to death hearing about this "I'm sick being treated like a piece of meat at clubs" ****. PLEASE tell me why would ANY woman with self respect dress in such a way that she will end up being treated like a piece of meant. furthermore why would she go back clubbing where she will be treated like that over and over again. would this kind of treatment not put her off clubbing?? Yes people should wear what they want but you must also bare in mind that your appearance gives the first impression.

    I only clicked on this thread because I thought for once it was written by a guy but after I read it it seriously pissed me off. I have no sympathy for her what so ever. like I have said to others I stand by what I said - if you dress like a slut be prepared to be treated like one. and doesn't matter if they say they don't dress like sluts - if they get this kind of attention then they are clearly doing something wrong.
    Yet again, someone who hasn't read my original post, or in fact, ANY of my posts.

    I don't go out dressed as a ****. I often go out in jeans, NEVER reveal my cleavage and wear flats (mostly because I'm so tall).

    I even got my drink spiked wearing jeans, a baggy thick knit jumper and big boots.

    Also, you and many others say you "have no sympathy for me", when you don't have a clue about what's happened to me and what happens to some girls. You must think I'm some duckfaced **** with a face full of makeup who encourages men on the dancefloor when I don't. I hardly drink and never make eye contact or go to a club to pull.

    Don't make such rash judgements on people unless you know the situation, or hell even READ my posts beforehand as you will actually understand the situation.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yet again, someone who hasn't read my original post, or in fact, ANY of my posts.

    I don't go out dressed as a ****. I often go out in jeans, NEVER reveal my cleavage and wear flats (mostly because I'm so tall).

    I even got my drink spiked wearing jeans, a baggy thick knit jumper and big boots.

    Also, you and many others say you "have no sympathy for me", when you don't have a clue about what's happened to me and what happens to some girls. You must think I'm some duckfaced **** with a face full of makeup who encourages men on the dancefloor when I don't. I hardly drink and never make eye contact or go to a club to pull.

    Don't make such rash judgements on people unless you know the situation, or hell even READ my posts beforehand as you will actually understand the situation.
    I dunno, you're being pretty judgmental yourself by saying you didn't deserve to be treated badly because you were wearing jeans and flats, which implies girls who dress up do deserve to be treated badly. This isn't a personal attack on you as a lot of other people in this thread have said similar things. Dressing in a certain way doesn't entitle people to treat you like a piece of meat and I can't stand that so many people seem think that it does. No one deserves to be treated like that, no means no, no matter what someone is wearing.
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    #1

    (Original post by tinywings)
    I dunno, you're being pretty judgmental yourself by saying you didn't deserve to be treated badly because you were wearing jeans and flats, which implies girls who dress up do deserve to be treated badly. This isn't a personal attack on you as a lot of other people in this thread have said similar things. Dressing in a certain way doesn't entitle people to treat you like a piece of meat and I can't stand that so many people seem think that it does. No one deserves to be treated like that, no means no, no matter what someone is wearing.
    It doesn't imply anything. As I said in previous posts in the thread, I don't think that ANYONE deserves to be treated disrespectfully, no matter what they are wearing. I have friends who go out in a lot less than me and get the same treatment but I don't think they deserve groping and mistreatment any more than me.

    I was simply defending myself once again against a poster who told me not to dress like a **** when they obviously didn't read the original post or in fact any of my other posts. If they had, they would realise that I dress quite demurely.
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    (Original post by tinshed)
    don't dress like a slut. if you are there to have a good time with your friends wear no make up, jeans and a baggy t-shirt. otherwise don't complain. if you dress provocatively then you deserve what comes your way. it's as simple as that.
    i know this has probably been said many times, but you're an idiot. you're saying that the only reason a girl would wear anything other than jeans and a baggy t-shirt is to encourage sexual advances from guys? that's the worst kind of 1970s type feminism. i'll just wander round in a sack, shall i, because not to do so would imply that i'm looking for sex.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It is. They get quite sick of it too. I didn't say it was just me, it's just my experiences. But I guess I've been the most unfortunate in my experiences
    I'm trying not to be judgemental, but for instance you said a guy unexpectedly rammed his tongue into your mouth.

    how does something like that happen?

    In a nightclub, you had your mouth open with a blokes mouth within tongue range away from your mouth - what did you think was happening there?

    Why not turn your face and keep your mouth closed if you don't want to kiss him?
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    Stop dressing like one?
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    (Original post by 69Crazyfists)
    You can't have a club without guys looking to pull, it doesn't exist. You either stop going or learn to deal with it.
    this. and why don't you go with some other mates instead of being on your ones?
 
 
 
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