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    (Original post by Tyrion_Lannister)
    Kind of I'll explain it in a spoilered post

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    When I was a child, I had severe physical health issues with organs not working properly. It wasn't picked up for ages, and when it was I needed lots of treatment in order to recover. I was often hospitalised because I couldn't keep anything down and would dehydrate, so they had to give me drips. The one occasion I have flashbacks to is when a juniour doctor failed to find a vain, four times and I eventually tried to get away and they got several people into the room to hold me down while they forced the damn thing in.

    Then on a sperate occasion, I had to have nuclear medicine for it, and again was used as a pin cushion and wasn't allowed to escape.

    I had an experience where I was lied to about the type of stuff used on me, and by the time I found out needles were involved, I was 'locked' in.

    I had to have an operation when I was three, and had complications after it which required yet more needles. I had to have another one at six, again I wasn't allowed not to and was forced down.

    My specific problem comes from the 'being held down' part of it. I feel like whenever I have to have blood taken or anything involving needles, that I have to give my trust and I can't do that. It gives me flashbacks to the drip event, and I get this horrible feeling inside like I'm going to die and that I need to break free and run off. I kick and scream, I recently had a blood test but it took diazepam, emla cream my mum and a really patient nurse and I still burst into tears as soon as I got in the room and screamed like I was being tortured


    Don't know whether that's PTSD or not :dunno:
    :jumphug: yeah I'm not totally sure - that level of trauma is higher than what I had assumed before, and I'm not an expert on ptsd other than my own. As long as you're clear on the distinction between flashbacks and memories (i.e. flashbacks you can physically feel it happening again), I guess it could be. Either way, sounds ****ty. :hugs:

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    (Original post by asdfgah)
    :jumphug: yeah I'm not totally sure - that level of trauma is higher than what I had assumed before, and I'm not an expert on ptsd other than my own. As long as you're clear on the distinction between flashbacks and memories (i.e. flashbacks you can physically feel it happening again), I guess it could be. Either way, sounds ****ty. :hugs:

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    I get the feeling it's happening again, and that I'm being 'forced down' and that I'm 'trapped' and then I see in my head what happened before. Doesn't help when nurses lie to you about it to try and 'calm it down' that's only going to make me panic more when I find out :mad:

    Sorry you are going through PTSD :jumphug:
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    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    Sorry to hear you have PTSD but good at least that you have some kinda framework for understanding what's been happening to you :hugs: NHS mental health is def a joke most of the time :sadnod:

    :console:



    :jumphug: :jumphug: :jumphug:
    Thanks hun :hugs: I really don't deserve people as nice as you around me :sad:


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    (Original post by ANONYM00SE)
    :hugs: I hope you're ok, well as ok as you can be when you feel hopeless
    Thanks :hugs: Not really ok at all tbh


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    (Original post by IDukem)
    Dayum straight and I deserve it too after all the mental pain i've put myself through to get all this (exam and coursework) done too. I've put in so much time, effort and at times even tears that i'll feel the biggest relief going come Friday evening :'-) Thank you and don't worry I will whether it's good or bad I'm right in the middle to be honest, not confident but not not-confident...some areas i'm good at and some i'm shaky at but meh, we'll see how it goes
    You do indeed! :yep: it's always the best feeling when your done and you just can just chill! With no worry at all! Just keep swimming till Friday and that'll be you done!!! Then we can have a party right ill hold you to that ... Ach you'll be fine just try and get upto scratch with past papers and make sure you know the layout of an exam! God the amount of times I've misread what questions to pick :facepalm: and also remember this guys - always check the back of a paper for a hidden question!!!!!! I've learnt my lesson hahaha


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    hiding in my room behind the music waiting for something pretty **** to happen, attempting to clean my room again, but its making me itchy (random medical condition) which in turn is making me want to scratch
    the next few days are going to be horrible and i really hope i can get through them, but i cant even promise myself that much
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    So my mum's told me that her work are trying to finish her because she has a really ****ing bad shoulder WHICH THEY CAUSED TO BEGIN WITH from working in a really ****ty repetitive job that has caused strain to the point she's had to have countless operations and procedures on it. What ****ers! Oh and my gran is really ill and we don't think she has long left. This is a ****ty start to the week coupled with the **** up on the job interview I was meant to have today. *sigh*
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    (Original post by PonchoKid)
    hiding in my room behind the music waiting for something pretty **** to happen, attempting to clean my room again, but its making me itchy (random medical condition) which in turn is making me want to scratch
    the next few days are going to be horrible and i really hope i can get through them, but i cant even promise myself that much
    You can get through this week :hugs: we all have faith that you can get through this and you will ace your uni work we all belibe in you (yes I really did just say belibe - it sounded good okay hahaha I'm not a total lunatic at all hahaha)... But you got through your dissy and if you can get through that then you can get through this week :yep:


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    Has anyone else absolutely had freak weather today? Like literally one minute it's sunny the next it's still sunny but hailstones and then it's snow... Weird I tell ya!


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    (Original post by -FireFlies-)
    You do indeed! :yep: it's always the best feeling when your done and you just can just chill! With no worry at all! Just keep swimming till Friday and that'll be you done!!! Then we can have a party right ill hold you to that ... Ach you'll be fine just try and get upto scratch with past papers and make sure you know the layout of an exam! God the amount of times I've misread what questions to pick :facepalm: and also remember this guys - always check the back of a paper for a hidden question!!!!!! I've learnt my lesson hahaha


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    One of the few times I can say I actually deserve something I still have other work to do, but the one I struggle with the most will be over and done with...well until I need to upgrade We'll have a party foor sure and then, i'll take my much needed rest Hold me all you want I hope so, yeah i've made revision notes and everything and i'm surprised by how much i know which is a good sign I'll make sure I check the last page

    Generally don't use hastags even on twitter, but i'm making an exception right now! #TeamIBelieve
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    (Original post by bullettheory)
    What dose are you on? The weight gain gets less the higher the dose.
    I think I'm on 15mg at the moment.

    (Original post by ParadoxSocks)
    Is it making you feel better or worse? I quit after I came to the conclusion that putting two stone on (it made me crazy hungry constantly and there was nothing that would make it stop) because of mirtazapine was making even more miserable. If it's making you feel better then you can fix your weight afterwards. You have to kind of find the balance. Your doctor might be able to fix the urge to eat everything if you ask them. I can't take most things because I have mini strokes and we didn't want to risk that.
    The problem is, I think it's made a real difference, and I've reacted badly to so many drugs that I don't want to ruin things by messing around with a cocktail that I know works. Putting on weight makes me miserable and tends to make my OCD worse, but mirtazapine makes my sleep better and makes me generally happier. I've been really upset about it all today, but I'm finally a bit more clear-headed about things and I'm going to take my CPN's advice and try a food diary and sticking really carefully to three meals a day. The main problem with mirtazapine is how ridiculously hungry it makes me all the time, so she thinks that if I keep a close eye on what I'm eating, at least some of the weight should come off. If it doesn't, I'll try to come off it altogether I think.

    (Original post by Meaty_man)
    Is it possible for you to change ur medication or? :hugs: Or maybe theres some stuff you can do to help you lose some weight? I guess some things might be more effective than others. I know for me i try to keep a decent diet since i really struggle to exercise.
    Thanks! I'm going to try to keep a really close eye on what I eat and see if it makes any difference. I've tried quite a few drugs that have gone badly, so I'm a bit wary about changing this now that I know it works. The other issue is that I'm also already on the maximum dose of citalopram so I'm a bit limited as to what else I can take. I really struggle to exercise too. I think another issue is that I've gone from a vegan diet to one quite high in dairy (I couldn't cook for myself for ages and my parents think that vegetarian food has to have cheese in ) so although I'm eating what people would probably consider to be a 'healthy' diet, it's quite fatty compared to what I was eating 6 months ago.


    After a fairly disastrous morning, I finally managed to persuade myself to leave the house and I got some new books from the library, so I'm looking forward to reading them! Finally got 'A Feast For Crows' from A Song of Ice and Fire, have been wanting to read it for ages but other people kept reserving it first! Hope other people have had a good evening *hugs all round*
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    My boyfriend has been super nice this evening since I told him about the issues I had with taking my thyroxine pills which probably caused the pregnancy to begin with. I'm so grateful that he has been so supportive and wasn't angry. He bought us pizza and watched TV with me, which is unusual for him. Feel calm now, but don't know how I will cope tomorrow.
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    (Original post by IDukem)
    One of the few times I can say I actually deserve something I still have other work to do, but the one I struggle with the most will be over and done with...well until I need to upgrade We'll have a party foor sure and then, i'll take my much needed rest Hold me all you want I hope so, yeah i've made revision notes and everything and i'm surprised by how much i know which is a good sign I'll make sure I check the last page

    Generally don't use hastags even on twitter, but i'm making an exception right now! #TeamIBelieve
    Well I can say for sure that you deserve this at least this one will be over and done with then you can focus on the rest haha yup party first then rest hahaha fine I will after you are my lil bro' :lovehug: ah that's good to hear please do! I came out of a mock (I think) and someone asked me about the last question - I was literally about to pass out :facepalm: never again haha.

    Yayyyy... #TeamIBelieve


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    (Original post by 08batee)
    Thanks :hugs: Not really ok at all tbh


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    :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
    I'd PM you but I have an exam tomorrow and Wednesday so trying to get a bit of work done. However after Wednesday I'm free for a few weeks so we can catch up? :hugs:
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    (Original post by -FireFlies-)
    Has anyone else absolutely had freak weather today? Like literally one minute it's sunny the next it's still sunny but hailstones and then it's snow... Weird I tell ya!


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    Yeah it's never predictable, but they said its going to rain the next few days. Tbh we don't get it as bad as other parts so I am not complaining.
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    (Original post by SirHas)
    Yeah it's never predictable, but they said its going to rain the next few days. Tbh we don't get it as bad as other parts so I am not complaining.
    We always get rain - but snow?! In may?! Just no.


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    (Original post by -FireFlies-)
    Well I can say for sure that you deserve this at least this one will be over and done with then you can focus on the rest haha yup party first then rest hahaha fine I will after you are my lil bro' :lovehug: ah that's good to hear please do! I came out of a mock (I think) and someone asked me about the last question - I was literally about to pass out :facepalm: never again haha.

    Yayyyy... #TeamIBelieve


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    Rest = Good...real good, I can't wait to say Veni, Vidi Vici Ain't no party like a MHSS party I need some sisterly TLC from my big sis either way, good or bad so just hooooollld me...tomorrow :lovehug: I did the same once in my mock and I then proceeded to be an angry IDukem I learnt that mistake too so I won't make the same mistake twice

    Woo! #TeamIbelieve
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    (Original post by 08batee)
    Thanks hun :hugs: I really don't deserve people as nice as you around me :sad:


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    Hun, you deserve MUCH better than me, I tell you! You deserve nothing less than the best :yep:

    :hugs:

    (Original post by Delain)
    So my mum's told me that her work are trying to finish her because she has a really ****ing bad shoulder WHICH THEY CAUSED TO BEGIN WITH from working in a really ****ty repetitive job that has caused strain to the point she's had to have countless operations and procedures on it. What ****ers! Oh and my gran is really ill and we don't think she has long left. This is a ****ty start to the week coupled with the **** up on the job interview I was meant to have today. *sigh*
    :console: :hugs: :console:

    (Original post by -FireFlies-)
    Has anyone else absolutely had freak weather today? Like literally one minute it's sunny the next it's still sunny but hailstones and then it's snow... Weird I tell ya!


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    I didn't have that but someone from TSR's Christian Soc had freaky weather like that. Weird though coz you're in Scotland, aren't you? And this guy definitely wasn't...

    (Original post by HmMusic)
    My boyfriend has been super nice this evening since I told him about the issues I had with taking my thyroxine pills which probably caused the pregnancy to begin with. I'm so grateful that he has been so supportive and wasn't angry. He bought us pizza and watched TV with me, which is unusual for him. Feel calm now, but don't know how I will cope tomorrow.
    :hugs:
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    (Original post by ANONYM00SE)
    :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
    I'd PM you but I have an exam tomorrow and Wednesday so trying to get a bit of work done. However after Wednesday I'm free for a few weeks so we can catch up? :hugs:
    Thanks :hugs: No worries hun, I'm not really in the mood for talking anyway. Good luck, I hope they go really well for you :jumphug:


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    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    Hun, you deserve MUCH better than me, I tell you! You deserve nothing less than the best :yep:

    :hugs:



    :console: :hugs: :console:



    I didn't have that but someone from TSR's Christian Soc had freaky weather like that. Weird though coz you're in Scotland, aren't you? And this guy definitely wasn't...



    :hugs:
    Thanks lovely :jumphug: I'm so sorry for being so rubbish. I hope you're okay :yep: :hugs:


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