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    (Original post by namename)
    Cause not. On the first day at the uni, they just look at each other and immediately fall into friendship, just like this, without even knowing anything about each other. A coup de foudre. And all the others are bad losers, whom no one wanted. Not.
    Lol what? It is not like that... Stop making theories to mitigate poor social skills
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    (Original post by ElChapo)
    Lol what? It is not like that... Stop making theories to mitigate poor social skills
    Stop pretending to be better than others, like everyone wants to be your "friend" the second they see you, because of your "wonderful skills" (how do they know about your "skills" if they've just met you?), and all the others are some "losers" with bad skills. You don't have any special skills. You are "friends" with random people, mostly because they lived/live near you. Maybe also you smoke weed together or something.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    After having finished my first year at uni, I have to say that although I enjoyed the course, I have not made a single friend at uni. Everytime I go there, I'm mostly invisible. I do have a few conversations with some people sometimes, but never who I really go out with. None of the societies interest me and are mostly asking me to train for national championships (unfortunately I have commitments and can't leave London) or are race/religion based societies. I did decide to go to one event in the Economics society. Everyone was just drinking tons of alcohol and then some of them just left to get high on shisha. I feel that uni is not the best time socially for me. Maybe it's just meeting the wrong people but I feel that I will never will be able to get along with them.

    And it's really strange because outside of uni, I never usually struggle to make friends. Maybe I ruined it because I was laughed at before freshers. I don't know - maybe I was not destined to make friends at uni?

    Did you not find you relaxed after a sufficient amount of alcohol?
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    hi, l know how you feel. l just finished my foundation year and going into my first year in September and technically don't have friends. It bothers me a lot, sometimes I think of dropping out but l guess its not the answer. I'm at University of Hull, l tried to be friendly but people have been looking away or sometimes the people who say are my friends never act like it. if anyone wants to talk email me on [email protected]
    thanks
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    #1

    (Original post by cole-slaw)
    Did you not find you relaxed after a sufficient amount of alcohol?
    I'm only relaxed when drinking alcohol with family. If there's alcohol in a social setting, I get more and more worried that no-one will want to talk to me.

    Update: Second year was a mess too. I tried to make friends with my coursemates but they became rude and uninviting after talking to them. I do speak sometimes to some of my coursemates but I don't go out with them.

    University, surprisingly for me, was a bit meh. If it wasn't for the interesting course, I'd have quit it ages ago. People constantly hype university up to be the ultimate and best time of your life. School was better, way better. No matter which school I went to, private or state, I worked and played hard. Then, came university and bam, huge disappointment.

    (Original post by namename)
    They say that it will get even worse afterwards...
    Yes, they all do. But having had work experience, even just menial office tasks and whatnot, was a thousand times better at uni. I had better memories hooking up a projector to a TV (this guy who was standing by me spoke French to me and I tried - but failed miserably lol. Still was fun) than anything I ever did at uni.

    My self-esteem jumped down since I started uni. I really thought that there was something completely wrong with me. I thought no-one wants me in their life and people will never truly like me. I've learnt that it's not the case as I get on with people just fine outside uni. It's when I'm in uni, the troubles with connecting with at least one person there becomes rather apparent.

    I feel the need now to seclude myself to save myself from any more heartbreak. Best to be invisible than to be laughed at.
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    #9

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm only relaxed when drinking alcohol with family. If there's alcohol in a social setting, I get more and more worried that no-one will want to talk to me.

    Update: Second year was a mess too. I tried to make friends with my coursemates but they became rude and uninviting after talking to them. I do speak sometimes to some of my coursemates but I don't go out with them.

    University, surprisingly for me, was a bit meh. If it wasn't for the interesting course, I'd have quit it ages ago. People constantly hype university up to be the ultimate and best time of your life. School was better, way better. No matter which school I went to, private or state, I worked and played hard. Then, came university and bam, huge disappointment.



    Yes, they all do. But having had work experience, even just menial office tasks and whatnot, was a thousand times better at uni. I had better memories hooking up a projector to a TV (this guy who was standing by me spoke French to me and I tried - but failed miserably lol. Still was fun) than anything I ever did at uni.

    My self-esteem jumped down since I started uni. I really thought that there was something completely wrong with me. I thought no-one wants me in their life and people will never truly like me. I've learnt that it's not the case as I get on with people just fine outside uni. It's when I'm in uni, the troubles with connecting with at least one person there becomes rather apparent.

    I feel the need now to seclude myself to save myself from any more heartbreak. Best to be invisible than to be laughed at.
    Is QMUL's social life really that bad? I mean there are like 20k+ people studying there. There must be someone you can connect with. From what I've read, they even have a poker society.

    I will be studying there this september, so just wanted to find out more.
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    (Original post by Maid Marian)
    I won't have any friends at uni either. You are not alone
    Is this sarcasm or....
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    (Original post by kimtar13)
    hi, l know how you feel. l just finished my foundation year and going into my first year in September and technically don't have friends. It bothers me a lot, sometimes I think of dropping out but l guess its not the answer. I'm at University of Hull, l tried to be friendly but people have been looking away or sometimes the people who say are my friends never act like it. if anyone wants to talk email me on [email protected]
    thanks
    fair play man

    power to your elbow
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    (Original post by JulietheCat)
    You see. Even they are better than your classmates. Face it - it's reality and you went to the wrong uni. Life's a *****.
    I disagree...if you cant find someone out of thousands of similary aged young people somethings wrong alright
    and thats your attitude
    you need to get out more and make more effort

    simples.
    • #1
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    #1

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Is QMUL's social life really that bad? I mean there are like 20k+ people studying there. There must be someone you can connect with. From what I've read, they even have a poker society.

    I will be studying there this september, so just wanted to find out more.
    Nope, I haven't found anyone who I could connect with.
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    #9

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Nope, I haven't found anyone who I could connect with.
    Why? Are there a lot of loners there or something?
    Didn't read through the whole thread btw.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Why? Are there a lot of loners there or something?
    Didn't read through the whole thread btw.
    People are either in their established groups and don't welcome outsiders or people just keep to themselves and listen to music/play games on their phone. I know of some people who went out a few times in the first year and then stopped socialising at uni, bar the incidental encounter.
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    (Original post by trustmeimlying1)
    I disagree...if you cant find someone out of thousands of similary aged young people somethings wrong alright
    and thats your attitude
    you need to get out more and make more effort

    simples.
    Well then, why did I make friends very quickly at another uni when I was in the same predicament at QMUL?
    Maybe we have to focus on who goes to which uni.
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    (Original post by JulietheCat)
    Well then, why did I make friends very quickly at another uni when I was in the same predicament at QMUL?
    Maybe we have to focus on who goes to which uni.
    I think not.
    not everyone can switch unis...

    its ridiculous to think that people allow themselves to think they cant male friends among thousands of similarly aged people

    if you travel its harder but even then....

    by focusing on attitudes means everyone (even people at QMUL) can realise that they just need to get out there more until..they find people they click with
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    Do you bring happiness, joy, inspiration and energy to people

    or do you take it from people and leech it from them ?

    People only have so much energy and happiness and care that they can give to others before they run out.

    It is up to you to become happy, inspired and energetic, and people will naturally want to be around you.

    Instead of leeching those feelings of friendship from others, you have to be a friend first.
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    (Original post by trustmeimlying1)
    I think not.
    not everyone can switch unis...

    its ridiculous to think that people allow themselves to think they cant male friends among thousands of similarly aged people

    if you travel its harder but even then....

    by focusing on attitudes means everyone (even people at QMUL) can realise that they just need to get out there more until..they find people they click with
    I got out. I went to all the possible societies that interested me. I wasn't even given a warm welcome. I'm glad I got out of there tbh. Never looked back.
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    (Original post by democracyforum)
    Do you bring happiness, joy, inspiration and energy to people

    or do you take it from people and leech it from them ?

    People only have so much energy and happiness and care that they can give to others before they run out.

    It is up to you to become happy, inspired and energetic, and people will naturally want to be around you.

    Instead of leeching those feelings of friendship from others, you have to be a friend first.
    I was happy in school so friends came naturally then.

    And because of some personal issues outside uni, I didn't feel happy so I didn't show it. I just showed a neutral face at uni. Maybe that's why I was blown off for their existing friends. :dontknow:
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    (Original post by democracyforum)
    Do you bring happiness, joy, inspiration and energy to people

    or do you take it from people and leech it from them ?

    People only have so much energy and happiness and care that they can give to others before they run out.

    It is up to you to become happy, inspired and energetic, and people will naturally want to be around you.

    Instead of leeching those feelings of friendship from others, you have to be a friend first.
    Oh, please, not one of these... When you feel low or maybe unwell, or just not in the mood, they come up to you, push you, giggle and shriek in loud voice: "Smile, smile! Why are you so glum! Life is great, brouhaha.". Cant' stand these "eternal optimists" who require smiles 24/7 and won't even let a person to be pensive or something.
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    Being depressed, you repel people.

    It's a lot of effort and energy to make friends with a depressed shy person.

    Most people don't have that strength or energy.
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    (Original post by namename)
    Oh, please, not one of these... When you feel low or maybe unwell, or just not in the mood, they come up to you, push you, giggle and shriek in loud voice: "Smile, smile! Why are you so glum! Life is great, brouhaha.". Cant' stand these "eternal optimists" who require smiles 24/7 and won't even let a person to be pensive or something.
    lol. I know. trust me, I've been there, read some of my previous posts if you want. I can tell you being depressed gets you nowhere.

    In fact, I never told the OP what to feel. I simply pointed out what happens when you are depressed.

    You honestly think people want to be friends with a depressed person ? Of course not.
    I know what happens because I was once that person.
 
 
 
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