What career would suit me? Generally struggling with this. Watch

tehforum
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#201
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#201
(Original post by Tyrion_Lannister)
It's nice to be able to have the extra time to do it properly.

Something I should probably have mentioned is I have bipolar and a chronic pain condition and getting enough sleep/eating properly is crucial to me not ending up suicidal, but I didn't want a like a sob story. I don't understand this hostility to people working part time?
So you get DSA?
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Caedus
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I'm not surprised you've struggled as there isn't an existing job that fits your unrealistic criteria, Tyrion.

Anyway, you sound as if you'd like to become an old fashioned house-wife. There's nothing inherently wrong with that notion - my mother didn't begin full time work until her mid-forties.
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Hellz_Bellz!
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#203
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(Original post by tehforum)
Ah, so this inherent laziness runs in your social circle of family and friends.

It annoys me when everyone else does exactly the same as you want to do, but you feel the undue need to have a part time job which caters to your every need.
Is it a crime to not want a job which makes you want to pull your hair out? Lay off her, she's done nothing wrong.
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desdemonata
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#204
(Original post by Tyrion_Lannister)
I don't expect him to do a job he's not interested in though? My boyfriend wants to work full time and wants to be a lawyer, it's not like I've said he has to? I don't get why people are saying I'm being unfair to him?

I can understand your point about it only works if I'm in a relationship
But you expect him to work full time so you don't have to. You're relying on him to make your life exactly the way you want. It's not about demanding him to do something he doesn't want to (but I assure you, people who work full time at a job they love get tired and overworked too, it's not always rainbows and sunshine), it's turning him into a parent that provides for you because you're unwilling to do what everyone else has to. It's not morally wrong, but of course you're rubbing people the wrong way, and it does come off as lazy, because every one else is having to provide for themselves and do things they don't want to do. Your priorities/other things you want to do aren't even incompatible with a full-time job, you don't actually have any good reason to want a part-time job other than you don't want to work full-time because you don't have to.

If you're going to do that, you might as well not work at all and be a housewife, because your expectations for work are highly unrealistic. People who manage to get the exact job they want, for the pay they want, are lucky, so getting both of those part time no less would be a miracle.
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Tyrion_Lannister
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#205
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#205
(Original post by tehforum)
So you get DSA?
Yes
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Biblio
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#206
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#206
(Original post by Hellz_Bellz!)
Is it a crime to not want a job which makes you want to pull your hair out? Lay off her, she's done nothing wrong.
If you claim benefit it is very immoral. As you should just take that job you don't like instead of imposing a cost on others in society who have done nothing wrong.

(Original post by Tyrion_Lannister)
Yes
no, get a supermarket job and job search whilst you work there dont be a scrounger
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tehforum
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#207
(Original post by Tyrion_Lannister)
Yes
Possibly they are factors which influenced your boyfriend to try and provide for everything.
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Tyrion_Lannister
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(Original post by desdemonata)
But you expect him to work full time so you don't have to. You're relying on him to make your life exactly the way you want. It's not about demanding him to do something he doesn't want to (but I assure you, people who work full time at a job they love get tired and overworked too, it's not always rainbows and sunshine), it's turning him into a parent that provides for you because you're unwilling to do what everyone else has to. It's not morally wrong, but of course you're rubbing people the wrong way, and it does come off as lazy, because every one else is having to provide for themselves and do things they don't want to do. Your priorities/other things you want to do aren't even incompatible with a full-time job, you don't actually have any good reason to want a part-time job other than you don't want to work full-time because you don't have to.

If you're going to do that, you might as well not work at all and be a housewife, because your expectations for work are highly unrealistic. People who manage to get the exact job they want, for the pay they want, are lucky, so getting both of those part time no less would be a miracle.
He can work part time if he wants? You can both earn £15k part time at least and that's enough to survive..so no I'm not expecting him to, I just know that he wants to. They're not incompatible but it makes it easier for me not to.

I'd like to do that when I have children.
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Hellz_Bellz!
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#209
(Original post by Biblio)
If you claim benefit it is very immoral. As you should just take that job you don't like instead of imposing a cost on others in society who have done nothing wrong.



no, get a supermarket job and job search whilst you work there dont be a scrounger
Where did she say she's going to live off benefits? She started this thread because she wants to find a job.
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Tyrion_Lannister
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#210
(Original post by Biblio)
If you claim benefit it is very immoral. As you should just take that job you don't like instead of imposing a cost on others in society who have done nothing wrong.



no, get a supermarket job and job search whilst you work there dont be a scrounger
What? I don't get JSA..

(Original post by tehforum)
Possibly they are factors which influenced your boyfriend to try and provide for everything.
What? Sorry if I don't get what you're saying
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Biblio
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(Original post by Hellz_Bellz!)
Where did she say she's going to live off benefits? She started this thread because she wants to find a job.
She said she is gonna go on the JSA
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tehforum
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#212
(Original post by Tyrion_Lannister)


What? Sorry if I don't get what you're saying
Your health problems means that your boyfriend has undertaken the responsibility to try and provide for both of you.

(Original post by Biblio)
She said she is gonna go on the JSA
JSA isn't benefits as such. You have to look for work, and accept work whenever basically.
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Tiger Rag
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#213
(Original post by Tyrion_Lannister)
He can work part time if he wants? You can both earn £15k part time at least
Er, how? My dad earns just under that and he's full time.
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Tyrion_Lannister
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#214
(Original post by tehforum)
Your health problems means that your boyfriend has undertaken the responsibility to try and provide for both of you.



JSA isn't benefits as such. You have to look for work, and accept work whenever basically.
Perhaps.


(Original post by OU Student)
Er, how? My dad earns just under that and he's full time.
My mum earns 18k and she's part time.
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Tyrion_Lannister
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(Original post by Biblio)
She said she is gonna go on the JSA
No I didn't
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Biblio
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#216
(Original post by Tyrion_Lannister)
No I didn't
dont do it, my brother is on JSA after he finished his A levels he just plays xbox now
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desdemonata
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#217
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#217
(Original post by Tyrion_Lannister)
He can work part time if he wants? You can both earn £15k part time at least and that's enough to survive..so no I'm not expecting him to, I just know that he wants to. They're not incompatible but it makes it easier for me not to.

I'd like to do that when I have children.
You're really missing my point here. I said that it's not about making your boyfriend provide for you like he doesn't want to, it's the fact that you're willing to just rely on him (bad idea) and want a dream job with unrealistic criteria. My boyfriend also wants to work full time in a well-paid profession, but in no way am I going to be so naive so as to plan my career around that and account for his earnings to validate my not wanting to work full time. And also... what if you two break up? What will you do then? What if your next boyfriend doesn't expect to put in any more financially than you, and expects you to work full-time? What if you stay single for a few years? You'll have set your life up for a horrific fall, because you'll find it damned hard to suddenly start supporting yourself and get work when it's already so competitive.

The thing is also, to get such a well-paid part-time job, you'd need to be damned good at whatever you do and to have already shown it through a lot of work experience. To ever have a chance of being in such high-demand as to be paid double the hourly rate for a part time job, you'd need to work full-time first and slog away until you can get there. You can't just get a part-time grad job that pays so well.
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Valentas
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#218
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#218
(Original post by Tyrion_Lannister)
So I've been through loads of career ideas and to be honest none of them suit me. I'm just going to bullet point what I want and see if anyone has any suggestions, because I don't like not having any idea


  1. Part time. I don't want to work more than 3 days a week.
  2. People focused. I'm a people person. I HATE analytical/stats/data/academia.
  3. I'm not bothered about advancing/getting a "top job' or whatever. As long as it pays more than £20k a year, I'm fine
  4. Creative. Preferably. Again I'm more creative than academic.
  5. FUN. If I get bored I'll quit. I have the attention span of a kitten.
  6. Flexible. I don't do well with rules that aren't flexible.


I honestly don't know what I want to do :dontknow: If people could just give me some ideas because I don't even know where to look?
If you want to become independent and earn a living in any field, then you will need to work your ass off by searching for clients(good for you because you like people, I don't ), think about what people want to read or buy as a product from you, analyse the market in your chosen field(don't embark on a new experimental journey, unless you are sure it is for you. It will take too much time + you have attention span of a kitten).

The activity you chose to become good at will mostly be boring in the beginning and you'll see little results for a year or more. You will want to quit, this is why you need to research the market, and become good at what you provide to people. Otherwise, you might quit two inches from gold( a breakthrough in audience or something like that...).

Once you embark on this journey, you will go through many days when you need money but you don't have it. It will force you to either quit or continue with empty stomach. This is why choosing specific field is vital. You need to like it enough to pursue it.

Also, to anyone who said that arts people cannot make a living, they are delusional. Nowadays, building online business is easy. You need to offer services for people around the world, show your expertise, build mailing list and once you are known as knowledgeable, start organizing seminars for people. You like people as you said. After that, some wealthy clients will want individual training, and for that you can charge 100+ pounds an hour. I know people who charge 2000 bucks/hour because they are good and their time is precious.

So, it's your choice really. However, forget about not working hard. Until you have many clients and respect from people, you will work your ass off, otherwise competition will surpass you and your business will die.
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Tyrion_Lannister
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#219
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#219
(Original post by Biblio)
dont do it, my brother is on JSA after he finished his A levels he just plays xbox now
What? I haven't said anything about it you have.
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Hanvyj
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Hmm, have you ever heard of 'managing expectations'?

You seem to want it all. Decent wage, decent job that isn't hard or boring and lots of free time.

It's just not very realistic. 20k is a pretty good wage for full time early on in a career, and unless you get on a grad scheme you would expect to be paid less than that.

But I noticed you are saying you don't care about the money so much. But isn't that kind of the reason you're getting a job? It's pretty difficult to support yourself on 15k a year. I'd be hesitant to put all your earning potential on a partner for two reasons:

1) It will breed resentment. I've worked full time, 9-5 + overtime for about 4 years now. It's pretty tough dragging yourself out of bed every day. There are so many other things I'd love to be doing that I'm too tired when I get home at seven o'clock. I've got books to write, that I'm reasonably good at. I've got cars to fix and a house to decorate a whole host of other things that I love doing with my spare time.

But I can't, because I need to pay for food, and energy and petrol for the car and our mortgage.

Don't get me wrong, I actually really like my job. It's what you listed, flexible, well paid. Analytical (vs creative because I like analytical). It's pretty much my dream job. But it's still really bloody hard to spend 40 hours or more doing it!

When my wife was working 8 hours a week, I found it hard. However much stuff you do around the house... you aren't really going to be dong it full time (the 'things' you wanted to do are a lot to do with yourself rather than your partner too) and it's tough working so hard so someone else gets all the nice things with none of the work. However much you love them, it introduces inequality, and that breeds resentment.

2) It's not a good idea for you to 'put all your eggs in one basket'. Your boyfriend might get fired. He might break a leg. He might get made redundant. What would you do then? A second income is invaluable for security to keep paying the rent.

What if your boyfriend leaves you? I know it doesn't seem likely now but even people who are married get divorced. In 20 years time do you want to start from rung 1 on a sensible career or already have a decent wage and experience. If you plan your life around your boyfriends income... you're taking a risk.

3) Money. Have you ever supported yourself? You never have enough money, trust me. As you get older your expenditure increases. You get mortgages, cars, kids, you live in nicer neighborhoods and buy nicer food.

Paying for it is hard. I earn a decent wage and we still struggle some months (more than when we were students). A second income is a god-send.

Do you ever want to buy a house? If so, your deposit is going to take 20 years to save up, or 2 if you have a decent second wage.



Personally, I think it's pretty selfish to want to work part time and expect someone else to provide for you. If you have to because you are working on building your own business or look after kids or just can't find a job - fine. But to just expect someone else to support your 'activities' just doesn't seem right to me. I'd hate it.
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