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How do your parents feel about you dating outside of your race? Watch

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    (Original post by TSA)
    Does that go for friendship as well? Are you unhappy if your child was friends with someone from a different race?

    I'm actually very offended by the first statement in the second paragraph. I am both Indian and Muslim and I treat my girlfriend with the utmost respect. When ever I go over to her flat I cook, clean and leave it in a better state than I entered, if she is ill I will drop what I am doing and help her recover, if she is unhappy I do everything I can to make her smile. I think I integrate extremely well with other cultures, I make an effort to learn about different cultures and languages. It's ridiculous to think just because someone is of a different race they have different interests and values.
    No it doesn't apply to friends, friendships may or may not be for life but when my child marries I hope it will be for life. Also the breakdown of a friendship does not have quite the same impact as the breakdown of a marriage. They have friends of several races and I'm pleased about that.

    You may treat your girlfriend very well but will your family - have you even introduced them yet. Have you made an effort to learn the manners of your girlfriend's culture? The manners of my child's Indian friends are quite different to mine so they seem rude to me. When you have children will you raise them the way you were raised or how your girlfriend was raised? No matter how well you treat your girlfriend the Indian culture and Muslim culture are that women are of less importance than men. Look at the number of rapes in India, because women are seen as unimportant. When you are angry with your girlfriend will you still treat her well and what about as you get older and tend to revert more to the way you were raised. If you were dating a daughter of mine I would judge you on how you behaved towards them but I'd still be concerned about the long term.
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    (Original post by parentlurker)
    No it doesn't apply to friends, friendships may or may not be for life but when my child marries I hope it will be for life. Also the breakdown of a friendship does not have quite the same impact as the breakdown of a marriage. They have friends of several races and I'm pleased about that.

    You may treat your girlfriend very well but will your family - have you even introduced them yet. Have you made an effort to learn the manners of your girlfriend's culture? The manners of my child's Indian friends are quite different to mine so they seem rude to me. When you have children will you raise them the way you were raised or how your girlfriend was raised? No matter how well you treat your girlfriend the Indian culture and Muslim culture are that women are of less importance than men. Look at the number of rapes in India, because women are seen as unimportant. When you are angry with your girlfriend will you still treat her well and what about as you get older and tend to revert more to the way you were raised. If you were dating a daughter of mine I would judge you on how you behaved towards them but I'd still be concerned about the long term.
    Lol Indian couples don't argue and try to rape one another. I think it's plain to see he is a pretty normal person.

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    (Original post by UWS)
    If it applies to you of course. My dad doesn't give a crap about it but my mum wants me to find a girlfriend of the same race as me yet I prefer to date outside of my race. I watched a documentary of mixed raced couples being a ******* in some cultures.
    Dad and Stepmum don't seem to care as long as they are good to me and are very intelligent, (stepmum is a bit snobby tbh), but Mum wouldn't like me dating a Nigerian, (a Nigerian immigrant attacked my stepdad so that means they now hate all Nigerians :rolleyes:), a "Paki", (sorry, I'm only quoting here, tbh I don't know how she defines that term anyway because I assumed it simply meant a Pakistani but she uses that term for pretty much anyone with light/medium brown skin and an Eastern accent), or a Muslim, she would explode if I dated a Muslim. Same applies to my Stepdad as my Mum. They truly despise and **** off Nigerians, "Pakis", Muslims and "Guptas", whatever they are, they seem to be the same as what my mum and stepdad define as the 2nd term, which I hate, and honestly I cringe and boil whenever they **** off Nigerians, Muslims, the P words and the G words. They have also used the incredibly offensive N word before too. So basically they would much rather me date a white person tbh. And they say they're not racist (they're huge racists). :rolleyes: Tbh I don't give a ****, I fall in love with people, not colours or nations or beliefs or sexes or genders or whatever, but with personalities and hotness.

    You can imagine the difficulty of being pansexual & transsexual with these parents then. I love them with all of my heart and they still love me, but I can't stand how racist, transphobic, ignorant to pansexuality and pretty much how bigotous they are (sorry, I can't think of a bigot-stemmed adjective).

    Sorry, this was just an excuse to rant lol. :/ Basically my silly parents who I live with want me to date inner-race, my slightly snobby parents down South don't seem to care as long as they have qualifications of some sort, (tbh they care more about the person themselves so that's good), lol and I don't give a ****.

    No offence was intended in any quotes involved in this reply. :yy:
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    Indian girl here I'm allowed to date anyone a part from blacks and Muslims.
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    (Original post by parentlurker)
    No it doesn't apply to friends, friendships may or may not be for life but when my child marries I hope it will be for life. Also the breakdown of a friendship does not have quite the same impact as the breakdown of a marriage. They have friends of several races and I'm pleased about that.

    You may treat your girlfriend very well but will your family - have you even introduced them yet. Have you made an effort to learn the manners of your girlfriend's culture? The manners of my child's Indian friends are quite different to mine so they seem rude to me. When you have children will you raise them the way you were raised or how your girlfriend was raised? No matter how well you treat your girlfriend the Indian culture and Muslim culture are that women are of less importance than men. Look at the number of rapes in India, because women are seen as unimportant. When you are angry with your girlfriend will you still treat her well and what about as you get older and tend to revert more to the way you were raised. If you were dating a daughter of mine I would judge you on how you behaved towards them but I'd still be concerned about the long term.
    Why not hope a friendship is for life? Friendships can be for life but also breakdown just as other relationships. You've probably never lost friendship with a long term childhood friends then if you can say that.

    No I haven't introduced them, we're not at that stage yet. I don't know how they will respond but I do know they are very hospitable so should be welcoming. Her culture is my culture, I have been born, bred and educated in Britain. I'm not a tribesman from a long lost tribe in South America.
    So your child has Indians friends that seem rude to you so you judge a whole race on that? We will raise our children well, taken the positives from both cultures. That doesn't mean I value women of less importance then men. Of course I would treat her well, after all you judge a mans character based on what he behaves like when he is angry, there has been times when we have got angry at each other. I've chosen to go outside for a walk, come back, apologise and make up. Why would I revert to more the way I was raised as I grow older? As I am growing older I am living more and more independently having less and less contact with my family if anything I would start to behave differently from how I was raised.

    Your questions, make me think what do you think Muslim & Indian culture is. Have you ever visited a Muslim & Indian household and seen how the women are treated.
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    unfortunately i know that my parents would be unhappy if i brought home a black guy , or even an asian guy

    idk , it doesn't bother me , but i've never been attracted to a guy that wasn't white so
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    (Original post by hotliketea)
    unfortunately i know that my parents would be unhappy if i brought home a black guy , or even an asian guy

    idk , it doesn't bother me , but i've never been attracted to a guy that wasn't white so

    Same here but with Indian guys.
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    I didn't even know this was an issue...
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    Got a very large family - so, amongst others, orthodox jew married a white atheist, another white atheist converted to judaism and married a jew, white atheist married a sikh, white atheist married a black christian american, but the one whose parents created at first was the methodist who married a catholic. ( Didn't stop the marriage though).

    In the end now they all have got to know each other, all of them get on fine. Just shows.
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    (Original post by Mr Smurf)
    They would prefer me dating someone of the same race but that isn't happening since I only like white girls. They wouldn't mind if I did date outside of my race though but white girls aren't into Oriental guys.
    Generalisation
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    (Original post by arkhamz)
    In their words "We don't care as long as she's not muslim/arab". We're on the same page regarding that anyway.
    What about secular/christian arabs?
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    As long as my parents understand what my other half is saying, my parents are fine with it.
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    (Original post by TheAnusFiles)
    What about secular/christian arabs?
    I wouldn't mind secular arabs but I'd rather be with someone who wouldn't want to give out kids any choice in terms of their belief system.
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    (Original post by arkhamz)
    I wouldn't mind secular arabs but I'd rather be with someone who wouldn't want to give out kids any choice in terms of their belief system.
    Me neither
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    (Original post by xoflower)
    My parents don't care. (I'm black Nigerian).

    lol my dad said once, ''don't ever think of bringing an indian into this house'' - haha, good things indians don't like black girls.
    The two statements you made directly contradict each other, unless the second was a joke.

    I also don't see what's very funny about the statement your dad made.
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    Indians don't dislike black people or think they're inherently scum...

    It's that when it comes to MARRIAGE, they're not on the list.

    While I'm not saying that's OK, you don't need to make it out as if Indians hate black people, don't talk to them, aren't friends or something.
    People overdo stereotypes SO much on TSR.

    Edit: for what it's worth we have an African man in our family lol

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    (Original post by Alfissti)
    My parents generally don't give a damn what I do as long as it is something they want me to do. As for race, they never liked it that I had a White gf/wife but never really said anything to my face about it though a few snide remarks here and there wasn't something unusual.

    I don't allow my kids to date certain races or of certain religions. They know what will happen if they did and it certainly isn't something they want to lose.
    With regard to the last para, if you wouldn't mind elaborating, what does it really mean? If you don't mind saying may I enquire what religion you are?


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    I'm mixed race, so I really don't have problems dating any other race
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    (Original post by Ggmu!)
    Indians don't dislike black people or think they're inherently scum...

    It's that when it comes to MARRIAGE, they're not on the list.

    While I'm not saying that's OK, you don't need to make it out as if Indians hate black people, don't talk to them, aren't friends or something.
    People overdo stereotypes SO much on TSR.

    Edit: for what it's worth we have an African man in our family lol

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    I think this comment just won TSR today :rofl:
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    My parents don't care as long as I like the person and they're respectful and nice. If their culture or beliefs are getting in the way of our relationship, I wouldn't let it happen anyway. Their race doesn't matter to me. (I'm mixed)
 
 
 
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