Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

Open Relationships - Would you have one? watch

    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by geoking)
    Really? I'll be honest, you can't honestly think like that. If he was even entertaining the idea of wanting to sleep around with other women, don't you feel like there's now serious damage done to the trust in the relationship? If there is literal distance between you two, next time he goes out, will you be able to wholeheartedly trust him?
    I trust what he's saying, it does hurt that he asked me yes and it will take a while to get over it but the fact he was so understanding when I spoke with him earlier is a massive sense of relief. He knows where I stand now so if he ever asks again it's curtains for him.
    • #2
    #2

    Glad you got it sorted OP.

    Just curious did you ask him why he wanted/was thinking of one?

    Perhaps it was him saying (badly) he wants spicier sex? Kinky sex/3some etc? Perhaps explore the sexual reasoning behind him asking-it can only mean fun for the both of you!

    Sexploration ftw!
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Glad you got it sorted OP.

    Just curious did you ask him why he wanted/was thinking of one?
    Perhaps it was him saying (badly) he wants spicier sex? Kinky sex/3some etc? Perhaps explore the sexual reasoning behind him asking-it can only mean fun for the both of you!

    Sexploration ftw!
    Yeah he basically wanted a bit more excitement, going to start using more toys and props, do some roleplay. No 3somes though I don't share and he knows that now.
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by BunnyMisery246)
    Yeah he basically wanted a bit more excitement, going to start using more toys and props, do some roleplay. No 3somes though I don't share and he knows that now.
    Cool! I like 3somes but tbh I've had plenty of awful and awkward ones too that are just laughable lol

    Have fun exploring! Bondara is a good site for inexpensive starter bondagey/role play toys
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Thanks i'll check it out!
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Glad you got it sorted OP.

    Just curious did you ask him why he wanted/was thinking of one?

    Perhaps it was him saying (badly) he wants spicier sex? Kinky sex/3some etc? Perhaps explore the sexual reasoning behind him asking-it can only mean fun for the both of you!

    Sexploration ftw!
    Nah he was wanting to **** other women. Honestly I'm not sure why that wasn't the nail that sealed the coffin, but I can guarantee it won't end well. I'll never understand why people drag out relationships which are clearly not going anywhere. Does she really think they'll skip happily into the sunset and laugh about it in 10 years time? C'mon
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by geoking)
    Eh?! I never mentioned sex...I'm talking about how do you deal with it emotionally that in a normal relationship one partner is content with the other for their entire life, whereas in yours, you only count for 50%.

    Plus don't you feel that you clearly haven't met the right person if you are willing to share them? More than that, if you don't even have a compatible sex drive? Sounds more like rather than being single, you'd prefer to be someones side girl...
    The thing is, I'm in love with both my boyfriend and girlfriend. If it's a vee, maybe I would've felt like being a side girl.

    I have met the right two people. Some girls think the physical absence or presence of a penis doesn't make much difference to sex but it does. My gf eats pussy way better than my bf - and my bf gives me better anal.

    Like it was said by another person in this thread, for me to be monogamous I need someone who has both sets of parts. But even I find that person, you may applaud me but there would be societal stigma from someone else. I just can't win, being bi, at least in the eyes of society.


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by JulietheCat)
    The thing is, I'm in love with both my boyfriend and girlfriend. If it's a vee, maybe I would've felt like being a side girl.

    I have met the right two people. Some girls think the physical absence or presence of a penis doesn't make much difference to sex but it does. My gf eats pussy way better than my bf - and my bf gives me better anal.

    Like it was said by another person in this thread, for me to be monogamous I need someone who has both sets of parts. But even I find that person, you may applaud me but there would be societal stigma from someone else. I just can't win, being bi, at least in the eyes of society.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    How about you get a guy who can go down on you well, and then aren't you sorted? Thing is, you don't need both genders. I like blondes, brunettes, asians and Mediterranean women. I'm not going to end up with 4 women am I? That's ridiculous.

    Also you didn't actually answer the question, just stated you are in love with the both of them. Don't you think the relationship is weaker as you are only 50% of the relationship? If you and your bf have an argument, isn't it more likely that he could just pack up shop and go mono with the other girl?
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by geoking)
    How about you get a guy who can go down on you well, and then aren't you sorted? Thing is, you don't need both genders. I like blondes, brunettes, asians and Mediterranean women. I'm not going to end up with 4 women am I? That's ridiculous.

    Also you didn't actually answer the question, just stated you are in love with the both of them. Don't you think the relationship is weaker as you are only 50% of the relationship? If you and your bf have an argument, isn't it more likely that he could just pack up shop and go mono with the other girl?
    If you're in love with two people you're in love with two people. It's not something you can help. Some people are only capable of loving one, some are capable of loving more than one.

    Also you understand what bi means right? She likes vagina AND penis. So her bf "getting good" at head doesn't satisfy her like of women.

    That's like saying to a lesbian..."why use a strap on when you can just use a guy?"
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    And you're entitled to think that, but you're not entitled to condemn those who don't feel the same. Live and let live.


    And Aesthetic and sexual preferences are very different things.
    It's my right to think what I want of others and their actions.

    Well personally I'm dubious as hell about bisexuality as it is. Those who are bi I have found are those who simply want a relationship and will settle for someone who likes them, and someone can be of either gender. It's a preference born out of insecurity I've found.
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by geoking)
    It's my right to think what I want of others and their actions.

    Well personally I'm dubious as hell about bisexuality as it is. Those who are bi I have found are those who simply want a relationship and will settle for someone who likes them, and someone can be of either gender. It's a preference born out of insecurity I've found.
    I said it was your right to have an opinion. Making someone feel bad or "damaged" because they choose to live al alternative lifestyle is not your right. It is bullying.


    Do you think being gay is born out of insecurity too?

    Some people like men and women. Get over it.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Some people even like animals. As a matter of fact I even saw a documentary where these people were actually sexually attracted to cars and fell in love with them, who would have thought eh!? Let people live how they want to live I say, it's their life not yours and at the end of the day you only live once and everyone wants happiness and love, whether that comes from 1,2,3,20 or 100 people who cares, be who you want to be not what others expect you to be.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I said it was your right to have an opinion. Making someone feel bad or "damaged" because they choose to live al alternative lifestyle is not your right. It is bullying.


    Do you think being gay is born out of insecurity too?

    Some people like men and women. Get over it.
    I'm not making them feel anything. From what they tell me, I tell them why it sounds like they are in the relationship they are. With things like poly relationships, so far a reason seems to be a fear of being alone so much so they aren't willing to break up with their partner, so just add in a third person into the mix. Not my fault if that's their reasoning. It's not bullying, don't be absurdly PC :rolleyes:

    Depends. I have seen both cases. I have seen someone who was so petrified of girls, yet he was attracted to them, that his overwhelming need for a relationship, born from emotional insecurity, made he claim he was gay.

    You need to get over the fact that I'm probably right. So deal with that, that a lot of people live an alternative lifestyle because they are emotionally damaged. Or you can carry on pretending otherwise, I don't really give a **** because the majority of people with that attitude end up getting stung by it really badly. What a shame
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by geoking)
    I'm not making them feel anything. From what they tell me, I tell them why it sounds like they are in the relationship they are. With things like poly relationships, so far a reason seems to be a fear of being alone so much so they aren't willing to break up with their partner, so just add in a third person into the mix. Not my fault if that's their reasoning. It's not bullying, don't be absurdly PC :rolleyes:

    Depends. I have seen both cases. I have seen someone who was so petrified of girls, yet he was attracted to them, that his overwhelming need for a relationship, born from emotional insecurity, made he claim he was gay.

    You need to get over the fact that I'm probably right. So deal with that, that a lot of people live an alternative lifestyle because they are emotionally damaged. Or you can carry on pretending otherwise, I don't really give a **** because the majority of people with that attitude end up getting stung by it really badly. What a shame
    No I think you're a child with little-no life experience.
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by BunnyMisery246)
    Some people even like animals. As a matter of fact I even saw a documentary where these people were actually sexually attracted to cars and fell in love with them, who would have thought eh!? Let people live how they want to live I say, it's their life not yours and at the end of the day you only live once and everyone wants happiness and love, whether that comes from 1,2,3,20 or 100 people who cares, be who you want to be not what others expect you to be.
    I watched that too! So weird but so interesting! :-) that woman married the Berlin Wall and changed her name to "so and so Berlin Wall"<---didn't even know that was possible! Lol
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by geoking)
    Completely wrong on every count. Whereas I think you are terrified of making a call about these people because it would mean you'd have to look at your own life,the choices you've made and the actual genuine reasons behind them. That is something you sure as hell are not going to do anytime soon. Am I close?
    Nah I'm pretty content with my life thanks.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Nah I'm pretty content with my life thanks.
    Of course you'd say that, but I'm fairly certain that a good five minute conversation would prove otherwise. How old are you?
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I watched that too! So weird but so interesting! :-) that woman married the Berlin Wall and changed her name to "so and so Berlin Wall"<---didn't even know that was possible! Lol
    It was very eye opening and really compelling to watch, you realise that this world is made up of all types of people but if what they're doing is legal than more power to them for doing something that makes them happy! geoking I recommend you don't watch it though for your sanity.
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by geoking)
    Wait, what? You think superficial happiness and genuine contentment are the same? So a crackhead and the Dali lama are just as happy ad each other?

    No you cant pick apart every decision a person has made and attribute it to insecurities. We both know that's a baseless comment...

    Making sure that the OP, a living human being, sees the advice she is given with perspective is hardly bullying, unless you think every single employee in mental health is a bully. Its an unpleasant truth, but mentioning it to ensure the OP can make a good decision is me being considerate.
    No you're a bully. Not to the OP but to the poly people on this thread. They're entitled to live their lives with out prejudice or judgement from an il-informed bigot.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    No you're a bully. Not to the OP but to the poly people on this thread. They're entitled to live their lives with out prejudice or judgement from an il-informed bigot.
    Instead of repeatedly yelling "bully", explain how I am a bully. I've only been showing to the OP that those promoting poly relationships may not be doing so for the best reasons. Is it more important to have your say then to consider if someones advice is born from a coping mechanism? Do you not think if someone takes advice like the latter that could have severe damaging repercussions for the OP? Or am I the only one who cares about her wellbeing?
    Also I see how you completely avoided my criticims of your ideas on happiness and insecurities...
 
 
 
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: January 29, 2015
Poll
Who is your favourite TV detective?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.