Depression Society MkII Watch

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upturnedpalms
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#201
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#201
(Original post by jonathan122)
Thank you to everyone for being so understanding. I'm still not feeling very well to be honest. I just don't understand how I can have made so little impact in peoples lives. I'd rather they hate me than just ignore me.
I know the feeling :hugs:
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raspberrybubbles
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#202
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#202
I got an appointment I'm up damn early though without a clue what to do, I woke up at 5 worrying... sucha worrier! Feeling okay this morning, my head still aches after last night, stupid chavs

Becki, I know what you mean, I think everyone's following me all the time, when I go for a walk I'm scared of someone jumping out of a tree and attacking me. I'm that scared I use a false net name... that's not right, surely! (But I kinda have a good reason cos someone did net stalk me and turn up at my college like hi...)
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herbal bug
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#203
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#203
dear all,

i havent posted in a while so just thought i'd say a few things:

1. you are all special. ok? you may not see it, but you are. you all care for people in a huge ammount of ways. you may not see it, but you do.
for example (if i leave you out, dont be offended, its just because i dont know you that well)
  • Laus: a lovely beauiful woman who has a natural gift at listening and who cares devoutely for everyone.
  • starchild: caring, sweet and infenetly friendly. always here for anyone
  • dalimyr: again always listening, funny, always makes me smile and always there fore a hug
  • tufts: dont know her well but i know she's well class
now the rest of you may not be on this list, but you are still amazing. you may not see it, but we all do. why do you think there is so many e-hugs

2. do not and i mean never feel ashamed of how you feel. yes people may not understand and take the mick, but they are your feelings and you are entilted to them people can critise you till the cows come home, yet they are being silly. they try to always critise what they dont know. we cannot help that, they cannot. we must not hate them, just offer them pity and sympathy. and even though it may be hard, ignore them. theyre words mean nothing.

3. we all have scars. just because someone's may be in the form of a cut across the arm it does not mean you do not have any. you do sadly. it is hard to accept but you do. they are in the mind (not physical scars) but memories and dreams etc. we cannot help it. just because our pain does not show, doesnt mean it isnt there. a good way to know and explain this to someone. your shadow. when you move around, you always, always have a shadow. even in pitch black, its till there, it just cant be seen as its very faint and probably directly underneath you. however, it never goes away (unless your peter pan :p:) it sometimes may be seen, it sometimes may not be. but its always there. dont be ashamed

4. dont be afraid to talk. yes, people may push you away, but there are people there to listen. people may not be there for you sometimes but they will at others. you do not burdern them, they may be busy. but also people need time to be self centred and not listen. otherwise people then become overwhelmed. we all do it. but dont worry. there is no shortage of ears. and people are here for you

5. take each day as it comes. yes its hard but things wont get better over night. its gradual and it can take from weeks to years. dont think about the future. just focus on "how will i get through today?"

6. finally. e-hugs/real life hugs are great :hugs: dont stop :hugs: you all

7. now ive bitten your ear off -you can do one thing for me
listen to the song i've posted a link too. lyrics are there too. you best as its an amazingly underated song and its nice.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cBst1dhdIHg

Spoiler:
Show

Don't know why I'm still afraid
If you weren't real I would make you up
now
I wish that I could follow through
I know that your love is true
And deep
As the sea
But right now
Everything you want is wrong,
And right now
All your dreams are waking up,
And right now
I wish I could follow you
To the shores
Of freedom,
Where no one lives.

Remember when we first met
And everything was still a bet
In love's game
You would call; I'd call you back
And then I'd leave
A message
On your answering machine

But right now
Everything is turning blue,
And right now
The sun is trying to kill the moon,
And right now
I wish I could follow you
To the shores
Of freedom,
Where no one lives

Freedom
Run away tonight
Freedom, freedom
Run away
Run away tonight

We're made out of blood and rust
Looking for someone to trust
Without
A fight
I think that you came too soon
You're the honey and the moon
That lights
Up my night


But right now
Everything you want is wrong,
And right now
All your dreams are waking up,
And right now
I wish that I could follow you
To the shores
Of freedom
Where no one lives

Freedom
Run away tonight
Freedom freedom
Run away
Run away tonight

We got too much time to kill
Like pigeons on my windowsill
We hang around

Ever since I've been with you
You hold me up
All the time I've falling down

But right now
Everything is turning blue,
And right now
The sun is trying to kill the moon,
And right now
I wish I could follow you
To the shores
Of freedom
Where no one lives


Love to you all

:hugs:
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jonathan122
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#204
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#204
One of my alleged friends has made an informal complaint against me. :sobs:
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herbal bug
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#205
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#205
(Original post by jonathan122)
One of my alleged friends has made an informal complaint against me. :sobs:
what did he say?
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jonathan122
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#206
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#206
I've had problems with trying to get in touch with people. I know what I've done is wrong, but I have been trying to stop myself.
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herbal bug
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#207
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#207
:hugs: i guess i cant say much but i hope it gets better :hugs:
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jonathan122
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#208
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#208
It's just all such a mess. I really think I deserve better than this.
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herbal bug
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#209
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#209
i'm sure you do .
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jonathan122
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#210
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#210
I don't know how I've got myself into this mess. I always tried to do the right thing, and now I'm been threatened with police action.
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herbal bug
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#211
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#211
talk to them...i guess i cant say much again. be honest with them
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jonathan122
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#212
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#212
Trying to talk to them has got me into this mess. I just need to cut off all contact from them. It's just so unfair - apparently I've caused this person "a considerable degree of distress", but there's no mention of the distress that they've caused me by cutting me off and leaving me all alone. I know I've done wrong, but I've been seriously ill - what's their excuse?
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Laus
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#213
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#213
(Original post by jonathan122)
I don't know how I've got myself into this mess. I always tried to do the right thing, and now I'm been threatened with police action.
We all know you're a good person. PM if you want to talk. We're here for you whatever happens. :hugs:
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Laus
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#214
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#214
(Original post by jonathan122)
Trying to talk to them has got me into this mess. I just need to cut off all contact from them. It's just so unfair - apparently I've caused this person "a considerable degree of distress", but there's no mention of the distress that they've caused me by cutting me off and leaving me all alone. I know I've done wrong, but I've been seriously ill - what's their excuse?
He can't press charges if you haven't done anything wrong. You're right, you have been seriously ill. On what grounds is he charging you? Did you try to stay in contact with him? :hugs:
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Laus
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#215
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#215
Zaki - :hugs: Thank-you so much :suith:
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jonathan122
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#216
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#216
Harassment - she's completely right, of course. I've tried to contact her to talk when she's made it clear that she doesn't want to talk to her, which is illegal, whereas dumping your friends because they're suffering from a serious illness isn't.
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Laus
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#217
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#217
(Original post by jonathan122)
Harassment - she's completely right, of course. I've tried to contact her to talk when she's made it clear that she doesn't want to talk to her, which is illegal, whereas dumping your friends because they're suffering from a serious illness isn't.
I can relate to this. I have tried to contact people (really close friends) and they have shunned me. It is not right. I don't believe you have done anything wrong, even if the police think otherwise. You haven't been well and you're frustrated and upset that the people you love the most have abandoned you. It isn't right. I hope that someone will see sense. She is extremely shallow for contacting the police; she could have tried to sort it out without bringing the law into it. Some people make me sick.
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jonathan122
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#218
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She hasn't contacted the police yet, just the university, and she's only made an informal complaint, so hopefully if I can control myself then nothing else will happen. I just can't believe that this is all happening to me. I suppose it serves me right for thinking that I deserved to be happy.
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jonathan122
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#219
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#219
I don't know whether or not I should tell my parents. They've always been really supportive of me, but I think this could be the last straw.
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Laus
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#220
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#220
It does not serve you right. If you explain the situation to your parents they may understand. I still don't think you're in the wrong though other people (evidently) will feel differently about this.
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