Mental Health Support Society XVIII

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    Managed to get 12 hours sleep last night which was deffo needed after not sleeping right for nearly a week now. It's made me feel a lot calmer for the long train journey later

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    I feel so horrific it's scary. Since I moved in here about 7 weeks ago, I have felt so low and aimless and every day seems like even *more* of a struggle than usual (which honestly, I didn't think was possible, given I didn't function at uni either). Physically I feel horrendous. My sleep is dreadful, but even when I'm getting 7/8 hours I wake up feeling like I've been run over (and that continues through the day). I feel bored and aimless, but without anything in me to actually change anything/try and add meaning in my life. I am having so many horrific days that I could never commit to anything. I cant put my finger on it. I just can't. I am very driven and determined and always try and grit my teeth, even though I always feel low, and sometimes awfully so. My anxiety is worse and I cant leave the house alone, and even if I do get out, I feel like I want to cry/run away/struggle to even put one foot in front of the other. I don't think this is purely depression. I have been severely depressed to the point where I cant move a limb/sit up in bed/brush my hair/anything, and still not felt this bleak about life. I don't understand. I am not making meals or doing my laundry or doing anything and I just cant find it within myself to push through or force it. I feel a shadow of myself. I don't think this is a good environment for me, but I don't have the strength or energy to move out. I don't even know what I am saying and it's all muddled but maybe that's a good representation of my muddled, hideous, pain consumed mind. I just cant keep doing this.
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    How is everyone?
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    What a day

    After 4 trains, a taxi and the biggest amount of ********s I have ever met in my life, I'm finally at my friend's in Bolton. I thought the ******* at Virgin were the worst I would meet today (made a post about them in the how are you feeling thread if you want the info) but nope, on the last train there were English Ned's (chavs) and they were calling me and Callan names for being Scottish, threatening to throw stuff at us, mocking Callan's looks and weight and making digs at my hair. Deffo the worst travel day I've had but I'm just glad I'm here safe and sound. Let the pet sitting commence the animals make the day all worth it

    Quite proud of myself today. My panics have been through the roof for weeks and was close to cancelling today because of them but I got through it, even with all the **** that happened today and the extra crowds since it's the weekend. I gave myself a good auld pat on the back and I'll have a well deserved takeaway and a bloody drink! :P

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    #19

    Acc feel quite happy for once
    i am trying, nobody can say im not and that is the important thing, im trying to talk to more people inrl and people have actually noticed this.
    I've given myself a purpose to last me until next week so until then im content enough

    ~Anon 1
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    Feel sick and my eyes and face are itchy. :/
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    Hello how is everyone today. How is the weather in Great Britain today? It was hot here in the United States. I found out back in June my mom had cancer and she's having surgery Monday on her bladder. It's scary because she's never had good health. She's never taken care of herself.she was a 3+ a day smoker for 40 years.its just a little scary.I always read on here users talking about sleeping.I'm sick and I have problems sleeping too. you just lay down and all these things are just going through your mind. you just cannot turn it off. I'm like everyone else on here, I just become obsessed with getting alittle more sleep. I'm lucky, I get Ambien from my doctors but I always run out.I usually have to go without it for about 8 days.those are the longest days of the month.by the the 4th day my nerves are a little fried. I really know how all of you feel. It really sucks wanting to go to sleep and cannot. It's almost bedtime here in California and I think I'm going to try to get some sleep. I hope everyone out there who has problems sleeping got some sleep last night.
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    (Original post by Airmed)
    Feel sick and my eyes and face are itchy. :/
    allergies?
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    (Original post by emobambam)
    Hello how is everyone today. How is the weather in Great Britain today? It was hot here in the United States. I found out back in June my mom had cancer and she's having surgery Monday on her bladder. It's scary because she's never had good help. She's never taken care of herself.its just a little scary.I always read on here users talking about sleeping.I'm sick and I have problems sleeping too. you just lay down and all these things are just going through your mind. you just cannot turn it off. I'm like everyone else on here, I just become obsessed with getting alittle more sleep. I'm lucky, I get Ambien from my doctors but I always run out.I usually have to go without it for about 8 days.those are the longest days of the month.by the the 4th day my nerves are a little fried. I really know how all of you feel. It really sucks wanting to go to sleep and cannot. It's almost bedtime here in California and I think I'm going to try to get some sleep. I hope everyone out there who has problems sleeping and got some sleep last night.
    Sorry to hear about your mom. I hope her operation goes well.

    Have you tried lunesta or restoril? I find ambien doesn't work at all for me whereas either of the other 2 work great to get me get to sleep. You could also consider trying a low dose of seroquel to help with sleep? (sorry, don't know if you have MH issues or what your story is)


    I also live in the US and yes it is hot here!
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    Sorry to hear about your mom. I hope her operation goes well.

    Have you tried lunesta or restoril? I find ambien doesn't work at all for me whereas either of the other 2 work great to get me get to sleep. You could also consider trying a low dose of seroquel to help with sleep? (sorry, don't know if you have MH issues or what your story is)


    I also live in the US and yes it is hot here!
    thank you very much. My father passed away about 3 years ago. It's really sad losing your parents butt it's going to unfortunately happen. I was going to say if you are talking about lunesta or restoril you had to live in the United States. Hello my fellow American, how are you? I don't think you get those in Great Britain. I have taken lunesta, restoril and tempazepam but you know you our health insurance companies like to screw with us. They're not covered by my health insurance anymore. I thought tempazepam worked the best. What's covered on my insurance and what I think works best for me is 5mg of diazepam and 10mg of ambiem but sometimes it's difficult to get the diazepam because of all of these celebrity drug overdoses. I am envious of your health care coverage.
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    (Original post by emobambam)
    allergies?
    Think it's these antibiotics I'm on.
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    Hate having panic attacks when I'm away from home. I'm still at my friend's in Manchester and she's away to a wedding and won't be back until tomorrow morning so me and Callan have the house to ourselves while we pet sit.

    I was sure I heard the back door opening and then closing so I checked it and it was locked and so was the gate and the animals didn't look disturbed so obviously no one came but my OCD has went into overdrive and I've checked the house over and over for intruders and I'm scared to eat or drink in case someone is in the house and may have laced my food and drink which I know is silly but that's my OCD in full swing :cry2: keep taking panics too and feel quite spacey

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    (Original post by Spock's Socks)
    Hate having panic attacks when I'm away from home. I'm still at my friend's in Manchester and she's away to a wedding and won't be back until tomorrow morning so me and Callan have the house to ourselves while we pet sit.

    I was sure I heard the back door opening and then closing so I checked it and it was locked and so was the gate and the animals didn't look disturbed so obviously no one came but my OCD has went into overdrive and I've checked the house over and over for intruders and I'm scared to eat or drink in case someone is in the house and may have laced my food and drink which I know is silly but that's my OCD in full swing :cry2: keep taking panics too and feel quite spacey

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    being sick myself I know what it's like. Things get into your head and sometimes they just take on a life of their own. You just have to try to hold on tight and hang on until it subsides.it just grows faster and meaner if you isolate yourself. When it happens to me IIke to lay down in a dark room and head phones on for little while and try to ride it.its difficult being sick. Healthy people just don't understand what its like being sick. No matter how hard you try to explain it they don't understand.
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    (Original post by emobambam)
    thank you very much. My father passed away about 3 years ago. It's really sad losing your parents butt it's going to unfortunately happen. I was going to say if you are talking about lunesta or restoril you had to live in the United States. Hello my fellow American, how are you? I don't think you get those in Great Britain. I have taken lunesta, restoril and tempazepam but you know you our health insurance companies like to screw with us. They're not covered by my health insurance anymore. I thought tempazepam worked the best. What's covered on my insurance and what I think works best for me is 5mg of diazepam and 10mg of ambiem but sometimes it's difficult to get the diazepam because of all of these celebrity drug overdoses. I am envious of your health care coverage.
    Oh no, that must be so difficult to lose your father and then have your mom get sick too. I'm really sorry to hear that, hopefully she'll conquer this. :hugs:

    Insurance can be a nightmare you got my sympathy there. Mine randomly moved my psychiatrist out of network so I had to find someone else. At my first appointment with the new one she committed (sectioned) me. Couldn't ****ing believe it. :no:

    I think a lot can depend on your doctor. My psychiatrist I saw a few years back would prescribe me pretty much anything I asked for. She gave me a prescription for diazepam 3 times a day for a month (so 90 5mg tabs), and then put this on repeat. :/ kind of irresponsible I guess, I had to really limit myself to avoid getting addicted. Probably not the greatest idea but you could try a different doctor if you did want a more reliable diazepam provider? Don't be too envious of my insurance! I paid $250/month for one drug a couple of years back, it really helped me but was way too expensive for me to afford. :sigh:

    You're right that the UK doesn't have lunesta (eszopiclone) but they do have "zopiclone" which is slightly different but imo works possibly even a little better. They also have ambien (zolpidem). If you're struggling to get the ambien and valium, have you tried promethazine? It's often used in the UK as a minor sedative without the addictive qualities of other drugs.
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    So, my wife has banned me from Facebook. She said all it does is upset me when I stalk people on there. She is right, I don't know why I spend hours going through people I went to school/uni with's profiles and pictures. I don't even like these people and I haven't seen most of them in 10 years. :sigh:
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    Oh no, that must be so difficult to lose your father and then have your mom get sick too. I'm really sorry to hear that, hopefully she'll conquer this. :hugs:

    Insurance can be a nightmare you got my sympathy there. Mine randomly moved my psychiatrist out of network so I had to find someone else. At my first appointment with the new one she committed (sectioned) me. Couldn't ****ing believe it. :no:

    I think a lot can depend on your doctor. My psychiatrist I saw a few years back would prescribe me pretty much anything I asked for. She gave me a prescription for diazepam 3 times a day for a month (so 90 5mg tabs), and then put this on repeat. :/ kind of irresponsible I guess, I had to really limit myself to avoid getting addicted. Probably not the greatest idea but you could try a different doctor if you did want a more reliable diazepam provider? Don't be too envious of my insurance! I paid $250/month for one drug a couple of years back, it really helped me but was way too expensive for me to afford. :sigh:

    You're right that the UK doesn't have lunesta (eszopiclone) but they do have "zopiclone" which is slightly different but imo works possibly even a little better. They also have ambien (zolpidem). If you're struggling to get the ambien and valium, have you tried promethazine? It's often used in the UK as a minor sedative without the addictive qualities of other drugs.
    it's difficult getting used to a medication regimen and having a new doctor change it.its frustrating. Its also difficult to change doctors too.I want get a new doctor closer to my home but it's though doing it when you're sick and alone.I want a doctor who will treat me like a human being and not course credit.I see my doctor this week and will ask about it.its scary because if it dose not work it might be difficlt to get back on it.my mom's surgery is a little scary, I'm not going to lie.I'm trying not to think about it.it's distracting.thank you for the message of support.
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    I was in a bad place a couple of days ago, and wrote out my thoughts, which included ideas about suicide. Completely forgot I wrote it, until I was looking through the notes on my phone today.
    I'm having a good day, so reading the way I felt was terrifying the variations in my mood seem to be much bigger than I realised
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    Feeling ok today finally my psychiatrist reduced my clopixol to 150mg but I was so angry since I was at the hospital early and first to get my injection and the nurses tell me I have to wait 45 minutes because they didn't have my file and they couldn't give it to me without it. Luckily my care coordinator was nice enough to travel all the way back to the hospital to get it. I just had the worst luck that day everything was going wrong.
    I just want to be on the tablet form of the clopixol and I'm going to keep asking for it every time I see the psychiatrist.
    But I'm happy somewhat that my GP gave me orlistat to help with the weight gain from the antipsycotics medication but I'll still keep up with my diet and excersise hopefully I'll be off the medication by 2018.
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    I have my first appointment with the new psychiatrist tomorrow
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    (Original post by Spock's Socks)
    I have my first appointment with the new psychiatrist tomorrow
    Let's hope they are not an arse like mine! :hugs:
 
 
 
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