Depression Society MkII Watch

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bitterendx
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#2361
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#2361
Hm I feel so **** right now. I'm dreading going back to schoolo because apparently p.e has been moved to second lesson, which means i can't just "be late" and not go. And some absolout ******** on h+r is going on about how depression is just a negative attitude etcetc. and being a complete ******. It's just made me feel so horrible about feeling this way. I really can't deal.
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jonathan122
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#2362
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#2362
(Original post by bitterendx)
Hm I feel so **** right now. I'm dreading going back to schoolo because apparently p.e has been moved to second lesson, which means i can't just "be late" and not go. And some absolout ******** on h+r is going on about how depression is just a negative attitude etcetc. and being a complete ******. It's just made me feel so horrible about feeling this way. I really can't deal.
:hugs:
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upturnedpalms
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#2363
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#2363
(Original post by bitterendx)
Hm I feel so **** right now. I'm dreading going back to schoolo because apparently p.e has been moved to second lesson, which means i can't just "be late" and not go. And some absolout ******** on h+r is going on about how depression is just a negative attitude etcetc. and being a complete ******. It's just made me feel so horrible about feeling this way. I really can't deal.
I know, I've been following that thread. Ugh. :hugs:

On another note, I've just found out that all my 'friends' hate me. Score. I honestly don't know which is worse, going back to school or staying in this house.
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bitterendx
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#2364
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#2364
Thanks you two :hugs:

How've you found that out? :hugs:
Hm I feel the same, although the house is winning by far atm. :/
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upturnedpalms
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#2365
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#2365
I knew they were being off with me, so I asked another friend who hadn't been strange what was going on. She told me the truth, and I trust her. She's known for staying above the *****ing fray. They've said I'm only playing at being unhappy for attention, that I've brought all my problems upon myself, that I give up if there's a sign of a challenge, that I chose this situation so I should have expected it, one girl told everyone she was glad I wasn't doing a particular subject because she didn't want me in her class, that I take over everything and... um, I think that's it. Oh and also, when I fainted none of them came to help me because they thought I was playing for attention. I didn't know that before due to being passed out on the floor. I'm aware that I sound like a pissy 12 year old here, but honestly, I did think we were above this kind of thing. Apparently they really do hate me, that word's actually been used. So there you go.

I give up now.
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bitterendx
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#2366
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#2366
(Original post by upturnedpalms)
I knew they were being off with me, so I asked another friend who hadn't been strange what was going on. She told me the truth, and I trust her. She's known for staying above the *****ing fray. They've said I'm only playing at being unhappy for attention, that I've brought all my problems upon myself, that I give up if there's a sign of a challenge, that I chose this situation so I should have expected it, one girl told everyone she was glad I wasn't doing a particular subject because she didn't want me in her class, that I take over everything and... um, I think that's it. Oh and also, when I fainted none of them came to help me because they thought I was playing for attention. I didn't know that before due to being passed out on the floor. I'm aware that I sound like a pissy 12 year old here, but honestly, I did think we were above this kind of thing. Apparently they really do hate me, that word's actually been used. So there you go.

I give up now.
:hugs: Do not give up at all!
We all know that your not 'acting' about how your feeling, just some people can't really understand that. You'd think that being in sixth form the *****yness would have gone away. But they're girls, it probably never will. Have you got any friends that are out of sixth form? If so, you can just plough through the lessons and then see your other friends after sixth form instead of these moaning idiots. I have people who treat me differently because Im "not well" (as i put it xD) so they find it easier to shrug me off. Imo, it's because there is something different about us, and everyone acknowlages that, but they have nothing on them - and they're actually jealous. It's not a good reason to be, but they don't have a "name" too them. :/

Cheer up hun, we're all here for you :hugs:
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upturnedpalms
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#2367
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#2367
"Don't ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody".

I never really understood that line before this year.
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bitterendx
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#2368
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#2368
Meh, I know what your going through. I only have one close person now.

Hope things pick up for you. :hugs:
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Bangers+Mash
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#2369
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#2369
I'm really struggling to cope with things today.

Please don't be upset with me, but last week i SH, i cut myself, just once, the first time ever.
I dont want to imply that SH is a good thing so ive hidden the next bit, i really dont want to trigger anything off for anyone.
Possible trigger
The feeling i got after cutting was, nice. I felt calm and like i had relieved myself of all the emotional pain and replaced it with physical pain. ofcourse in the end i was discusted with myself, but the feeling i got after was like a short term way to cope. Thats why im scared i'll do it again.


I really don't know what to do at the moment, i have no one to properly talk to, like phone up and have a good chat with to help calm me down.
I tried to phone 4 people earlier, such a coincidence that i couldnt get through to anyone

To be honest, i can see why, i wouldnt want to talk to a person like me.
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jonathan122
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#2370
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#2370
Hi Luke, don't worry about upsetting other people. :hugs:

Have you spoken to your doctor or counsellor recently?
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Bangers+Mash
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#2371
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#2371
I see my psychiatrist on Wednesday, my counsellor on Thursday.

I know its only a few days, but i cant cope now, and who says things will be ok after these appointments, i always feel crap after them anyway.
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jonathan122
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#2372
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#2372
(Original post by Bangers+Mash)
I see my psychiatrist on Wednesday, my counsellor on Thursday.

I know its only a few days, but i cant cope now, and who says things will be ok after these appointments, i always feel crap after them anyway.
Could you try ringing your psychiatrist or counsellor now and talk with them over the phone? If you can't get through, then you could always phone for an emergency gp appointment to talk about things.

:hugs:
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xemilyx
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#2373
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#2373
(Original post by upturnedpalms)
"Don't ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody".

I never really understood that line before this year.

:hugs:
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xemilyx
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#2374
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#2374
Love and hugs to you all :hugs: Thinking about you all.
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jonathan122
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#2375
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#2375
(Original post by xemilyx)
Love and hugs to you all :hugs: Thinking about you all.
:hugs: Thinking about you too Emily. :hugs:
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Not Invented Yet
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#2376
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#2376
(Original post by Bangers+Mash)
I'm really struggling to cope with things today.

Please don't be upset with me, but last week i SH, i cut myself, just once, the first time ever.
I dont want to imply that SH is a good thing so ive hidden the next bit, i really dont want to trigger anything off for anyone.
Possible trigger
The feeling i got after cutting was, nice. I felt calm and like i had relieved myself of all the emotional pain and replaced it with physical pain. ofcourse in the end i was discusted with myself, but the feeling i got after was like a short term way to cope. Thats why im scared i'll do it again.


I really don't know what to do at the moment, i have no one to properly talk to, like phone up and have a good chat with to help calm me down.
I tried to phone 4 people earlier, such a coincidence that i couldnt get through to anyone

To be honest, i can see why, i wouldnt want to talk to a person like me.
I don't know whether you read my post yesterday or not (the one about SH), but the general gist of it was that this habit totally fooks with your mind and puts you in an even worse place than where you started off. It's also horribly upsetting for people around you, and it can be dangerous with risks of infection etc. I know that my advice probably doesn't mean much to you, and there's not much I can do to affect your thoughts and actions - but please, for what it's worth, don't do that again. Don't let it become a habit which will take you over and ultimately destroy any positive things you felt you had left. Okay so I may sound melodramatic, but I'm very sincere. I really hope that next time you feel the need to do this, you talk to someone beforehand and distract yourself until it passes - if you can't get through to your friends, then chat with your family, phone a doctor or therapist, or come on here and talk to us. You don't need this habit, and you really really don't want it.

All the best.

EDIT: I've just realised that I didn't need to tell you to talk to people, as you have tried to phone your friends and you're on here... well done! I'm happy to chat if you want - not even about anything in particular if you don't want to; sometimes just having someone listening to you recite what you had for breakfast is enough!
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Bangers+Mash
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#2377
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#2377
(Original post by Not Invented Yet)
I don't know whether you read my post yesterday or not (the one about SH), but the general gist of it was that this habit totally fooks with your mind and puts you in an even worse place than where you started off. It's also horribly upsetting for people around you, and it can be dangerous with risks of infection etc. I know that my advice probably doesn't mean much to you, and there's not much I can do to affect your thoughts and actions - but please, for what it's worth, don't do that again. Don't let it become a habit which will take you over and ultimately destroy any positive things you felt you had left. Okay so I may sound melodramatic, but I'm very sincere. I really hope that next time you feel the need to do this, you talk to someone beforehand and distract yourself until it passes - if you can't get through to your friends, then chat with your family, phone a doctor or therapist, or come on here and talk to us. You don't need this habit, and you really really don't want it.

All the best.

EDIT: I've just realised that I didn't need to tell you to talk to people, as you have tried to phone your friends and you're on here... well done! I'm happy to chat if you want - not even about anything in particular if you don't want to; sometimes just having someone listening to you recite what you had for breakfast is enough!
Thanks, im just having a really bad day, and it feels worse when my friends aren't speaking to me, because i then think, well why aren't they? thats where all the thoughts hit me.

Im just rubbish thats why
How are you today?
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Bangers+Mash
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#2378
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#2378
(Original post by jonathan122)
Could you try ringing your psychiatrist or counsellor now and talk with them over the phone? If you can't get through, then you could always phone for an emergency gp appointment to talk about things.

:hugs:
Its near impossible to get through to my counsellor, i dont want to phone my psychiatrist i dont want to waste her time...and the same for my GP.
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bitterendx
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#2379
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#2379
(Original post by Bangers+Mash)
Its near impossible to get through to my counsellor, i dont want to phone my psychiatrist i dont want to waste her time...and the same for my GP.
You wouldn't be wasting their time, they're there to be spoken to .

If your not getting any better, or there when you need them, they're not exactlly doing their job properly now are they?

Try and ring your psych, hope things pick up tnight :hugs:
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Not Invented Yet
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#2380
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#2380
(Original post by Bangers+Mash)
Thanks, im just having a really bad day, and it feels worse when my friends aren't speaking to me, because i then think, well why aren't they? thats where all the thoughts hit me.

Im just rubbish thats why
How are you today?
:hugs: You're not rubbish - you're always so nice to people on here, you seem really likeable. Do you know if your friends are deliberately not speaking to you? It's probably just a coincidence that they're all busy - everyone's back to college/school/uni soon, so they'll be busy getting things ready and everything. Make sure you know exactly what the situation is before you go beating yourself up about it.

There are lots of things you can do to make yourself feel better if you're having a bad day, and I'm sure your counsellor will have told you about most of them but just in case: make yourself feel special by treating yourself to something like your favourite food, a nice warm bath, buying something you've been wanting for ages etc; read a kid's story (they always end happily!) or watch CBBC; make lists (this is my favourite!) - lists of things you like about yourself, lists of reasons to be happy, lists of things you have to look forward to...

I'm having an alright day. Bit annoyed because my GP has this new system where you have to make appointments on the day rather than booking them in advance, so by about 9am all the slots had been filled up. Tomorrow I'll have to get up at the unearthly hour of 8 o'clock to make sure I get an appointment! I think it's silly. But yeah, mood-wise I'm quite good at the moment.
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