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How has mental illness affected your life? Watch

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yeah I suppose that's one way of looking at it!

    I don't understand psychosis though...what do you actually experience, like would you believe you're Jesus, or you're a famous football player and you actually believe these thoughts?

    Please could you tell me a couple of your psychotic experiences so I canbegin to understand them?



    I've had psychosis, so perhaps i can shed abit of light on what it's like to have it.

    You start thinking crazy thought a few examples that i had was that i thought that i thought i was going to die, then i started to get really paranoid about everything going on around me, i started to believe my house was bugged with cameras and microphones which were link to national tv, radio and the press. I was watching tv thinking they were talking directly about me and listening to radio thinking it was all for me. As my psychosis worsened i could get no sleep and genuinely thought i was going to die. I started getting really emotional shouting at my parents 'i don't want to die' then as i got worse i asked my dad if he knew anyone who could kill me because i didnt want to carry on like this. When the doctors came and gave me a tablet i thought it genuinely was a suicide pill and i wrote my last words, which must have been heart braking for my parents to read in the morning.
    After this because i thought the house was bugged and i thought everyone had seen my antics the night before on tv (because i thought my house was being live streamed on the whole countries televisions) i thought that all murderers were after me to put me out of my misery. Then i started to think that the whole of my town had moved away and the army had moved in for my protection. it was a truly terrifying experience and i couldnt get hardly any sleep as i sat up worrying all night about when i was going to die.

    Overall, you feel paranoid about everything that goes on around you and believe it all relates to you, you start making things up which make sense in your head so to make everything apply to you.
    I had shocking memory, i would literally forget things 30 seconds later after being told something, i couldnt focus or concentrate on anything to do simple tasks such as making a cup of tea. I would get confused and forget to put milk or sugar in etc. It's like your head is constantly spinning.
    Slowly with the aid of medication i started to pull out of psychosis much to the relief of my family, how i didnt get hospitalised i will never know.

    Has anyone one else had psychotic experiences? if you'd like to share them..?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yeah I suppose that's one way of looking at it!

    I don't understand psychosis though...what do you actually experience, like would you believe you're Jesus, or you're a famous football player and you actually believe these thoughts?

    Please could you tell me a couple of your psychotic experiences so I canbegin to understand them?

    Well I was completely convinced that my uni tutors were trying to kill me and was absolutely terrified. I don't know how I even got that idea but I genuinely believed it for quite a few days and was on edge the whole time. When I told one of my tutors a year later, he was quite concerned by it.

    Other things include hearing voices, thinking people are projecting thoughts into my head and feeling "someone" banging on the inside of my ribcage, trying to get out of my body :yes:
    • #38
    #38

    I hear voices and I've never told anyone and it really really scares me when it happens and I don't know what to do.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I hear voices and I've never told anyone and it really really scares me when it happens and I don't know what to do.
    :hugs:

    Would you consider going to your GP and telling him/her what happens with these voices?
    • #38
    #38

    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    :hugs:

    Would you consider going to your GP and telling him/her what happens with these voices?
    I honestly don't know what I'd say. I've considered wandering into the uni counsellign place and looking pleadingly at them. It sort of involves admitting it's a problem though.

    I was considering PMing you after seeing your last post just asking for advice but then i bottled it, I don't know how comfortable you are talking about this kind of thing anyway
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I hear voices and I've never told anyone and it really really scares me when it happens and I don't know what to do.
    Oh..Wow...I use to get that...I remember, it freaked me out so much. Also I felt like something was following me everywhere. PM if you want.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I honestly don't know what I'd say. I've considered wandering into the uni counsellign place and looking pleadingly at them. It sort of involves admitting it's a problem though.

    I was considering PMing you after seeing your last post just asking for advice but then i bottled it, I don't know how comfortable you are talking about this kind of thing anyway
    You're very welcome to PM me if you like I'm for the most party happy to talk about my experiences, though some stuff I just really can't divulge, out of respect for the other people who got dragged down with having to look after me :nah:

    Do you feel it's a problem? Apparently hearing voices isn't as unique as people often think and people don't always hear bad voices telling them to do evil things either. I'm personally not too bothered about hearing voices in itself, because I'm so used to it. I only mind when they overpower me... which they did a lot over the last two years or so :o:

    You might want to try and find out a bit more about your uni's counselling service. Some counselling services have a huge waiting list and it might be a while for them to get to you :sadnod:
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    My father has had a mental illness since before i was born, i get quite emotional at times. In no way am i embarassed or anything because he is my father. People just don't see what it's like, caring for someone who has a mental illness, i admire my mom though for going through it and staying strong.
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    I'm neurotic, so basically I'm crazy and I know it but it still doesn't stop the irrational thoughts, paranoia and the mild OCD, I just don't let it take over my life. I used to be really bad before my boyfriend came along, I couldn't deal with it effectively and it took over my life but ever since he has helped me so much and I just get on with it. Being neurotic and having a history of psychosis in the family is a large part of the reason why I want to become a clinical psychologist and so interested in Psychology
    • #38
    #38

    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    You're very welcome to PM me if you like I'm for the most party happy to talk about my experiences, though some stuff I just really can't divulge, out of respect for the other people who got dragged down with having to look after me :nah:

    Do you feel it's a problem? Apparently hearing voices isn't as unique as people often think and people don't always hear bad voices telling them to do evil things either. I'm personally not too bothered about hearing voices in itself, because I'm so used to it. I only mind when they overpower me... which they did a lot over the last two years or so :o:

    You might want to try and find out a bit more about your uni's counselling service. Some counselling services have a huge waiting list and it might be a while for them to get to you :sadnod:
    I think it's only a problem in so much as it scares the **** out of me when it happens. I know they're not real (regardless of what they say - "it's no fantasy"). And yeah, I have read that on an NHS website I think. It's been happening about three years and I'm getting a bit more used to it.

    it was a little bit of a relief when I remembered i could post in H&R anonymously to be honest.

    And I think I'm letting everything get to me more at the moment cos I've got other crappy teenage whiny misery going on at the moment. I'm not even a teenager for much longer, this shouldn't bother me.


    I really don't know how i feel about going to see the counsellign people or the GP or anyone, it feels like attention seeking

    is this even making sense? 'thank you for the hug
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I think it's only a problem in so much as it scares the **** out of me when it happens. I know they're not real (regardless of what they say - "it's no fantasy"). And yeah, I have read that on an NHS website I think. It's been happening about three years and I'm getting a bit more used to it.

    it was a little bit of a relief when I remembered i could post in H&R anonymously to be honest.

    And I think I'm letting everything get to me more at the moment cos I've got other crappy teenage whiny misery going on at the moment. I'm not even a teenager for much longer, this shouldn't bother me.


    I really don't know how i feel about going to see the counsellign people or the GP or anyone, it feels like attention seeking

    is this even making sense? 'thank you for the hug
    Well you're welcome to ask me anything you like on here: if I don't feel comfortable answering honestly, I'll say so I get what you mean: the more scary voices I have freak the **** out of me and I never really know what to do when that happens. Knowing they're not real doesn't help much when you're in that situation, or at least that's what I find.

    It never occured to me to tell any medical people that I was hearing voices or that it wasn't quite normal. I only told my GP (very reluctantly) in order to help someone who was helping me deal with them: she felt out of her depth and asked me to see a doctor, so I did. My GP was understandable alarmed but also very concerned about it: I was just telling her and not expecting anything to come of it, but she said she wanted to stop them and to help these voices to go away, so would I let her refer me to a psych?

    Hearing voices is serious stuff and can be very distressing, so you shouldn't feel like you're bothering people unnecessarily by telling them. This is why people enter the medical profession: to help people overcome their problems :yes:
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    Couldnt agree more. There are periods of my life I look back on as purely black holes of anxiety and fear.
    • #39
    #39

    With depression, anxiety, OCD, and agoraphobia, quite a bit.
    • #38
    #38

    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    Well you're welcome to ask me anything you like on here: if I don't feel comfortable answering honestly, I'll say so I get what you mean: the more scary voices I have freak the **** out of me and I never really know what to do when that happens. Knowing they're not real doesn't help much when you're in that situation, or at least that's what I find.

    It never occured to me to tell any medical people that I was hearing voices or that it wasn't quite normal. I only told my GP (very reluctantly) in order to help someone who was helping me deal with them: she felt out of her depth and asked me to see a doctor, so I did. My GP was understandable alarmed but also very concerned about it: I was just telling her and not expecting anything to come of it, but she said she wanted to stop them and to help these voices to go away, so would I let her refer me to a psych?

    Hearing voices is serious stuff and can be very distressing, so you shouldn't feel like you're bothering people unnecessarily by telling them. This is why people enter the medical profession: to help people overcome their problems :yes:
    Can I ask if the psych helped? did they stop? is it worth it?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Can I ask if the psych helped? did they stop? is it worth it?
    Well I'm still being treated by a psychiatrist at the moment. The voices haven't stopped and I personally don't think they ever will completely stop. (I'm told that I'm just pessimistic though.) My psych is very kind and concerned and after being mucked around a lot by the psychs in Oxford, it's nice to be seeing someone regularly who wants to do something about it.

    That said, due to a lot of factors, he's not entirely sure what's wrong with me and thus doesn't know quite how to treat me. It's a big experimentation period at the moment.

    For me, even though it's been horrific at times, it was definitely worth bringing it up with my GP, because I have a better understanding of what's happening to me. This means I can live with it better and I can vaguely communicate it to others, so they can support me as necessary. It also means I can now try and figure out my life around my illness, rather than the other way round. I spent far too much of my undergrad degree ignoring the fact I was ill and it came back to haunt me in the end :o:
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    Depression= isolated, reclusive, miserable but forced to put on a façade, suicidal but too emotionally and physically depleted to do anything, hallucinations, night terrors, self harm, sitting in the same position for hours, lost confidence due to **** GCSEs and led to onset of anorexia.

    Anorexia= never feeling good enough, urges to starve, taking days off school to weigh myself and go to the gym, not completing my A2 year and spending 7 months in hospital and still not being anywhere near 'better' but fat enough for no-one to help, feeling like a failure for not actually dying, feeling like a failure for eating/not eating, depression from not eating enough plus clinical depression, first actual suicide attempt, still suicidal but trying to channel anorexia drive into getting amazing grades at A2 and knowing I won't be good enough, still having to take days off school because I feel sick or because I have appointments, trying to eat but hating myself for every mouthful. Oh and it's made me even more perfectionistic than I was before so I either procrastinate with schoolwork or just don't do it because I know it won't be right. Anorexia has also made me terrified of gaining weight past the point I am now and I know I don't look very nice at the moment but then really that's not because I'm underweight, more because I'm ugly! I'd look better if I gained weight, I know that but I just CAN'T. I'm not living right now, I'm going through the motions and AN has made me hate myself for what I put my family through and made me (more) obsessive and neurotic about having showers, germs and (obviously) food.

    So yeah, even though I've had awful depression for years, sometimes where I haven't functioned, I was still in a better place than I am now because now I have two issues that feed into each other. But I've gained a bit more control over anorexia, like I can sort of ignore the voice screaming at me asking why I'm eating, it's just still overwhelming and- sorry to say, seductive and it would be the easiest thing in the world to give in. But I have to let myself try to get over it. So I have to eat when I don't even want to. It's emotionally draining though. I feel like a failure at being anorexic when I eat (don't ask what that means, it's illogical!) and I feel like a recovery failure when I don't eat.

    Sorry for the essay.
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    I've got a friend who says she's depressed and so I guess that has affected my life. She's a moody ***** all the time, and it gets really annoying. I just can't be bothered to comfort someone all the time, so I don't bother any more. She's just a bit of a burden on our whole friendship group now - wish she'd just cheer up. That's how it's deeply affected my life.
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    I starting getting depressed after my boyfriend died two years ago, but it's sort of under control now.
    Then the doctor said I had given myself problems with paranoia from smoking weed. Which I know is my fault entirely, but he wasn't very helpful...
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    Read Paul Gasgoine's Autobiograpghy- that is one screwed up guy, but I still love him.
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    I was diagnosed with Schizophrenia at the age of 12; it had a tremendous impact on everything I did and ever would do. I couldn't go to school and I didn't have any friends (understandable tbh). Anyway, I've never had a mental illness, so my thoughts go out to those of you who have
 
 
 
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