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Asians, are you allowed to marry a girl/guy of your choice? Watch

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    (Original post by G8D)
    You commented about being more flexible when you have your own children.
    I assume this transcends race and you would allow(or at least accept the possibility of) your children to date/marry outside of Islam, or even disassociate from the religion completely?
    I would be flexible about race, but not religion. I would be devastated if my kids disassociated themselves from something I believe so strongly in - that's why I want to raise them in a way that encourages them to see the flaws in the way Islam is practised in messed up ways around the world and encourage them to believe in the core message of Islam, of just being a good person - the message that nobody who actually knows can possibly disagree with.

    That said and done, if they still chose to disassociate themselves, I would never disown my child.
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    (Original post by HumanNature1992)
    Maaan I feel for you, did you know how strict she (or her parents) were about this before you began seeing her? - or did you think possibly she'll see the light and possibly change.

    Can I ask you what would your parents say if you brought home a white/black/latino whatever girl home and you ENSURED them that they're perfect in every way, they're kind, generous, warm and basically makes you the happiest guy in the world and on top of this made sure to them that your culture or religion will in no way be subsidised - and that your kids will be Hindu and go to a Temple regularly?
    Yeah I did. I was ready to make sacrifices to make it work for her (dropping alcohol, meat and persuading her side of the family). But I cocked up in the relationship and she lost trust in me.

    wrt my parents - IF I brought home a different race then they would disagree.. but if I persuaded like you said, I believe they would come around because they'd realise its what makes me happy. However, this would not make them entirely happy, and so I wouldn't want to put them through that. Thats why, at the back of our minds, us indians lock out different races as potentials... unless someone too perfect comes along to block out.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Not quite. A Muslim man can marry a Muslim, a Jew or a Christian (if the Christian is a Unitarian and therefore doesn't accept Trinitarianism), whereas a female must marry a Muslim man.

    surely a Christian who is a Unitarian may as well be a Muslim? I mean surely the trinity is a crucial part of mainstream Christianity? Islam and Christianity are pretty much the same bar the divinity of Christ and obviously Islam is a slightly younger faith and includes a few different stories/parables. But core principles wise they're very similar if you don't say Jesus is God's son(and God..the trinity is so unusual haha.)
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    Yes, I'm allowed to choose who I want to get married to, as long as he's Muslim.
    I think my parents would prefer it if he was Pakistani, as well, though.
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    (Original post by Jackthevillain)
    Boooooo for the parents if Asian parents wanted to keep the caste system and hold on who you marry they should of stayed in Asia and not come here.
    They came here for a better life though.
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    (Original post by piya21)
    I would be flexible about race, but not religion. I would be devastated if my kids disassociated themselves from something I believe so strongly in - that's why I want to raise them in a way that encourages them to see the flaws in the way Islam is practised in messed up ways around the world and encourage them to believe in the core message of Islam, of just being a good person - the message that nobody who actually knows can possibly disagree with.

    That said and done, if they still chose to disassociate themselves, I would never disown my child.
    doesn't your religion say that your god is more important than your father/mother/brother etc?

    so if your children disassociated themselves from the religion and went against the fundamental beliefs, isn't it your "duty" to disassociate yourself from your kids (I know it sounds really harsh from our western liberal stance, but from an islamic one (extremist).....
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    (Original post by SuperStaah)
    Yes, I'm allowed to choose who I want to get married to, as long as he's Muslim.
    I think my parents would prefer it if he was Pakistani, as well, though.
    You're lucky.

    .. How've you been? What happened to the ODC? lol
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    (Original post by newlife)
    Yeah I did. I was ready to make sacrifices to make it work for her (dropping alcohol, meat and persuading her side of the family). But I cocked up in the relationship and she lost trust in me.

    wrt my parents - IF I brought home a different race then they would disagree.. but if I persuaded like you said, I believe they would come around because they'd realise it what makes me happy. However, this would not make them entirely happy, and so I wouldn't want to put them through that. Thats why, at the back of our minds, us indians lock out different races as potentials... unless someone too perfect comes along to block out.
    But how can you ENSURE that marrying an Indian girl will be the right thing to do? Your parents may like the idea that Indian = right, but it's a different generation. These indian girls are 1st generation so in reality are pretty much like any other girl walking the street - and possibly worse, i've never got on with one lol

    Wouldn't it be better, and wouldnt your parents be happier if you met a GREAT girl from a different race and you were both totally right for each other and would have a great marriage rather than just for the sake of it you were to marry an Indian girl who doesn't make you totally happy and isn't right for you in a lot of ways? And who's to say you're going to retain culture marrying an Indian girl which is the only reason why your parents want you to marry an Indian.

    You could be doing yourself and your parents a favour by marrying outside of your race.
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    (Original post by Jackthevillain)
    Boooooo for the parents if Asian parents wanted to keep the caste system and hold on who you marry they should of stayed in Asia and not come here.
    I believe a lot of white nationalists (not saying that you are) are quite resentful of asians who are firm believers of intra-racial marriages to keep cultural identities intact....

    I don't agree with the caste/tribal system, but if they wish to instil certain beliefs/values into their children then let em, as long as they don't break the law (ie. forced marrieages, honuor killings etc)
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    (Original post by newlife)
    They came here for a better life though.
    lol well I thought maintaining traditions for Asians would be more important obvs not then.
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    (Original post by bunty64)
    doesn't your religion say that your god is more important than your father/mother/brother etc?

    so if your children disassociated themselves from the religion and went against the fundamental beliefs, isn't it your "duty" to disassociate yourself from your kids (I know it sounds really harsh from our western liberal stance, but from an islamic one (extremist).....
    Well, strictly speaking, God is more important but my 'duty' would in that case be to care for my child no matter what and try to guide them back to believing in God. After all, no kid has ever come back 'to the fold' because their parents froze them out.
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    (Original post by HumanNature1992)
    I've never looked at it as unusual

    Where are your parents from? And I'd like to know your opinion on this thread.
    My opinion - I'm not sure tbh as my parents never made it really clear. Though my older brother is engaged to a girl chosen by my parents (she is my distant uncle's daughter). Though they were already in love before that.

    I think my parents would prefer it if I got married to someone from our extended family, but I wouldn't marry to a girl without knowing her first.

    And my parents are South Asians who were born in UAE. So was I.
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    (Original post by Khodu)
    You're lucky.
    (If you're muslim) why is that lucky? The Qur'an doesn't discriminates on race.
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    (Original post by joey11223)
    I believe he can marry a non-Muslims women but the expectation is she'd convert quite swiftly. Where as a female must marry a Muslim man.

    Apologies if this is wrong Muslims.
    Muslim men are allowed to marry a person 'by the book' - this includes a Christian, Muslim or a Jew.

    I'd only ever marry somebody that does believe that there is a creator and in the idea that there is only one creator.(so couldn't marry a practising Hindu or an Atheist)
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    (Original post by piya21)
    Well, strictly speaking, God is more important but my 'duty' would in that case be to care for my child no matter what and try to guide them back to believing in God. After all, no kid has ever come back 'to the fold' because their parents froze them out.
    skeen.... (is that still used.. just remember lots of asians in east london using that term)

    translation: I see
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    Anyone saying 'no' due to fear of upsetting their parents/families should recognise their parents/family are being ****in' stupid and ignore them.

    Time to grow up and think for yourselves, kids.
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    (Original post by HumanNature1992)
    (If you're muslim) why is that lucky? The Qur'an doesn't discriminates on race.
    I said she was lucky because they only had to be Muslim. My parent's requirement list is way more than that. It's got nothing to with religion tbh.
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    (Original post by HumanNature1992)
    Muslim men are allowed to marry a person 'by the book' - this includes a Christian, Muslim or a Jew.

    I'd only ever marry somebody that does believe that there is a creator and in the idea that there is only one creator.(so couldn't marry a practising Hindu or an Atheist)
    How about an Atheist who shrugs and says "meh fine, I'll say I'm a deist."

    Wiki but it's a fine definition..

    Deism (pronounced /?di??z?m/, US dict: d??·?zm)[1][2] in the philosophy of religion is the standpoint that reason and observation of the natural world, without the need for organized religion, can determine that a supreme being created the universe. Further the term often implies that this supreme being does not intervene in human affairs or suspend the natural laws of the universe. Deists typically reject supernatural events such as prophecy and miracles, tending to assert that God (or "The Supreme Architect") has a plan for the universe that is not to be altered by intervention in the affairs of human life. Deists believe in the existence of God, in a secular sense, without any reliance on revealed religion, religious authority or holy books.
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    (Original post by lonely14)
    My opinion - I'm not sure tbh as my parents never made it really clear. Though my older brother is engaged to a girl chosen by my parents (she is my distant uncle's daughter). Though they were already in love before that.

    I think my parents would prefer it if I got married to someone from our extended family, but I wouldn't marry to a girl without knowing her first.

    And my parents are South Asians who were born in UAE. So was I.
    Wow, am I the only one who is allowed a proper say in who I marry? O_o

    I knew it wasn't the norm but I didn't think nearly 99% people here were restricted in this way.
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    (Original post by Khodu)
    You're lucky.

    .. How've you been? What happened to the ODC? lol
    Yeah and I'm really thankful for that. My parents are actually quite lenient compared to other Asian parents. I mean they're allowing me to share a house with guys at university! I had to persuade them a lot, but after a while they came around. :p:

    I've been good. Back at home for the holidays How about you?
    I'm not too sure. It kinda died out, heh.
 
 
 
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