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Told a friend I like her..... Watch

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Im still waiting :P

    Anyway, its been a while and she text me basically saying I don't want to not talk it sucks, so she clearly missed talking to me for a few days, so much so that she text me complaining at my distance.

    Now since then:

    1) She basically asked me what I felt or questions on how I feel. - So I tell her, pour my heart out to her and things were looking good it weren't awkward at all.

    2)Now since her texting back really well (bearing in mind I NEVER initiate contact) it has all of a sudden become really bad at texting back, for no reason what so ever - and she even initiates conversation! WTF! (she has spoken to someone and since talking to that someone her texts have become less frequent. Nice. It seems since people get involved she changes but when its by herself it seems genuine, but this ignoring **** is pissing me off)

    I understand she could be confused and stuff and I got to relax and what have you, but this is pissing me off!
    Mate you really need to cut her loose already. She sounds flaky and not worthy of your time.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So long story short I told this girl that I liked her, and all the texts that I've had i've shown people and they felt as strongly as I did that she likes me,

    I explain to her that I'd like to meet up and talk, she gets all worried and begs me to tell her what I want to talk about, so I tell her how I feel (felt so unconfident doing that I would've much rather she agreed to meet) this was 7hrs ago, and I haven't had a reply.

    Should I be preparing for the worst when I wake up?
    Can't be arsed going through 12 pages to see what you have been saying. So 4 weeks on, any progress?
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    (Original post by ilem)
    Mate you really need to cut her loose already. She sounds flaky and not worthy of your time.
    I gave her space and she sent me a really sweet text complaining that we weren't talking and hated it (I did too and within time it became better but its all like ugh, should I really text you back if your not gonna reply)
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I gave her space and she sent me a really sweet text complaining that we weren't talking and hated it (I did too and within time it became better but its all like ugh, should I really text you back if your not gonna reply)
    Meet her and ask her out again. If she says anything other than yes, get rid. That includes all the common cop-outs like 'maybe', 'I'm not ready to date right now', 'I value the friendship too much' etc.
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    (Original post by xmertic)
    Can't be arsed going through 12 pages to see what you have been saying. So 4 weeks on, any progress?
    I tell her I like her.
    She says that "For Now (lol For now) that I am one of her closest friends"
    Something happens we have a big argument and I stop talking to her for like 4-5days
    She texts me complaining about the above
    We have a massive heart to heart, basically I tell her all the little things I like about her like her smile etc etc
    We start to reminiss of times we've shared.
    All seems fine and dandy and we are happy as larry and things take a slight turn getting back to how they were it just felt different.
    Since Monday, she has spoken to someone and her replies are less frequent and I don't know what the ****s going on.

    I understand she could be confused as to how she feels but I'm getting a bit annoyed at how things have turned out from being amazing to a bit ****ty to great again. So I don't really know whats going on basically, might just give her space again and see what happens, because its all I can do, and just go on with my life, if she comes back great but I'll have to explain to her that I can't be dealing with all this hot cold **** & i'll live my life, if you like me come back great. If not then so be it. I'll try to be friends still but after a while not straight away. (But she literally hated not talking for a few days so I wonder how that will go lol)
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I tell her I like her.
    She says that "For Now (lol For now) that I am one of her closest friends"
    Something happens we have a big argument and I stop talking to her for like 4-5days
    She texts me complaining about the above
    We have a massive heart to heart, basically I tell her all the little things I like about her like her smile etc etc
    We start to reminiss of times we've shared.
    All seems fine and dandy and we are happy as larry and things take a slight turn getting back to how they were it just felt different.
    Since Monday, she has spoken to someone and her replies are less frequent and I don't know what the ****s going on.

    I understand she could be confused as to how she feels but I'm getting a bit annoyed at how things have turned out from being amazing to a bit ****ty to great again. So I don't really know whats going on basically, might just give her space again and see what happens, because its all I can do, and just go on with my life, if she comes back great but I'll have to explain to her that I can't be dealing with all this hot cold **** & i'll live my life, if you like me come back great. If not then so be it. I'll try to be friends still but after a while not straight away. (But she literally hated not talking for a few days so I wonder how that will go lol)
    Ahh, that sucks bro. I feel for you. I'd recommend just sending one text solely addressing you telling her you like her and asking what she thinks of it. You could try making the point of it won't become any easier or less awkward if she ignores the topic. Good luck!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I tell her I like her.
    She says that "For Now (lol For now) that I am one of her closest friends"
    Something happens we have a big argument and I stop talking to her for like 4-5days
    She texts me complaining about the above
    We have a massive heart to heart, basically I tell her all the little things I like about her like her smile etc etc
    We start to reminiss of times we've shared.
    All seems fine and dandy and we are happy as larry and things take a slight turn getting back to how they were it just felt different.
    Since Monday, she has spoken to someone and her replies are less frequent and I don't know what the ****s going on.

    I understand she could be confused as to how she feels but I'm getting a bit annoyed at how things have turned out from being amazing to a bit ****ty to great again. So I don't really know whats going on basically, might just give her space again and see what happens, because its all I can do, and just go on with my life, if she comes back great but I'll have to explain to her that I can't be dealing with all this hot cold **** & i'll live my life, if you like me come back great. If not then so be it. I'll try to be friends still but after a while not straight away. (But she literally hated not talking for a few days so I wonder how that will go lol)
    Why don't you just tell her that you like her, and can't be friends with her, because you will always want more.

    You are beating behind the bush.

    What I highlighted there is bull****.

    You are letting her define your relationship, and then wonder why you both fall out eventually.
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    (Original post by fat_hobbit)
    Why don't you just tell her that you like her, and can't be friends with her, because you will always want more.

    You are beating behind the bush.

    What I highlighted there is bull****.

    You are letting her define your relationship.
    She clearly knows that.

    I poured my heart out to her the other day, and she had ample opportunity to say right there and then "I don't think of you that way" She wouldn't have asked how I really felt if she didnt ask.

    She even got worried that she used the term "friend" when talking about me - She was worried that I may think that she's friend zoned me.

    "I understand that when I wrote best friend that you may be like OMG she friend zoned me and I feel bad"

    All this hot cold is annoying and I understand her very complicated situation but I can't be dealing with all this hot cold bull****, either take some time away and sort your **** out and then get back to me or tell me how you feel is what I feel like saying but its so sensitive it might ruin any minute chance I do have at the minute. None of this constant communication then none at all. Its ****.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    She clearly knows that.

    I poured my heart out to her the other day, and she had ample opportunity to say right there and then "I don't think of you that way" She wouldn't have asked how I really felt if she didnt ask.

    She even got worried that she used the term "friend" when talking about me - She was worried that I may think that she's friend zoned me.

    "I understand that when I wrote best friend that you may be like OMG she friend zoned me and I feel bad"

    All this hot cold is annoying and I understand her very complicated situation but I can't be dealing with all this hot cold bull****, either take some time away and sort your **** out and then get back to me or tell me how you feel is what I feel like saying but its so sensitive it might ruin any minute chance I do have at the minute. None of this constant communication then none at all. Its ****.
    You are clutching on straws. Or to be more blunt, you haven't got one, and are wasting time.

    Walk away.

    This is a toxic relationship.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    You are clutching on straws. Or to be more blunt, you haven't got one, and are wasting time.

    Walk away.

    This is a toxic relationship.
    Well its a bit more complicated than just jumping into a relationship with her tbh, she has a lot of stuff on her plate. I just can't be dealing with all this hot/cold attention atm.
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    Oh my god, I'm in pretty much the exact same situation as this guy.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Well its a bit more complicated than just jumping into a relationship with her tbh, she has a lot of stuff on her plate. I just can't be dealing with all this hot/cold attention atm.
    Sometimes mate you have to be selfish.

    I have been in your situation before, and when it happens, the worse thing you can do, is let that person linger around.

    Your mental health is being affected, and is distracting you from what actually matters in life.

    I know right now, you are thinking to yourself "this girl is amazing, she is the only one who can understand me", with a **** load of 'buts'...this only lasts, until you meet someone new. And you will, I did. At which point you realise the old girl was nothing special, and was just a bit of a manipulative *****.
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    (Original post by fat_hobbit)
    Sometimes mate you have to be selfish.

    I have been in your situation before, and when it happens, the worse thing you can do, is let that person linger around.

    Your mental health is being affected, and is distracting you from what actually matters in life.

    I know right now, you are thinking to yourself "this girl is amazing, she is the only one who can understand me", with a **** load of 'buts'...this only lasts, until you meet someone new. And you will, I did. At which point you realise the old girl was nothing special, and was just a bit of a manipulative *****.
    that is so mean how can you say that when you've never met her?!? She means a lot to me I wouldn't be who I am today if it weren't for her.

    I really wanna be selfish and just go and do my thing meet other girls, but I can't do that atm as I like her too much its unfair on the other girls because if she comes around then **** i've just manipulated the other girls that I'm talking to have I not?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    that is so mean how can you say that when you've never met her?!? She means a lot to me I wouldn't be who I am today if it weren't for her.

    I really wanna be selfish and just go and do my thing meet other girls, but I can't do that atm as I like her too much its unfair on the other girls because if she comes around then **** i've just manipulated the other girls that I'm talking to have I not?
    From the what you have described, I think I have gathered her type.

    You get girls like this one (your mate), who basically try and wrap you around their finger, as they get a kick out of the psychological validation you give them. They will often do it in such a way where they emotionally blackmail you into believing that they will always be there for you no matter what.

    In the end it's all bull****, if there is something massive to gain out of not being your friend, they will ditch you. Leaving you an emotional wreck. I have known grown men, friends of mine, who have committed suicide over such women, from the depression and anguish they have caused them.

    It is no joke.

    Then you get girls (the one's I generally like), who are just so chilled out and make you feel good. JulietheCat on here is a great example of that type.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    that is so mean how can you say that when you've never met her?!? She means a lot to me I wouldn't be who I am today if it weren't for her.

    I really wanna be selfish and just go and do my thing meet other girls, but I can't do that atm as I like her too much its unfair on the other girls because if she comes around then **** i've just manipulated the other girls that I'm talking to have I not?
    With the above said.

    If you really want this girl in your life, you have to accept right now that you can't be with her. Otherwise face the consequences of your feelings getting in the way. This means, as you are not dating, you should not expect her to always be available. You should also expect her to get married to another guy, and have kids with him.

    In that respect, I do emphasize with her, because it is not like she hasn't told you that she only wants to be your friend.

    I personally couldn't put myself through that ****. But every man for themselves.
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    (Original post by fat_hobbit)
    With the above said.

    If you really want this girl in your life, you have to accept right now that you can't be with her. Otherwise face the consequences of your feelings getting in the way. This means, as you are not dating, you should not expect her to always be available. You should also expect her to get married to another guy, and have kids with him.

    In that respect, I do emphasize with her, because it is not like she hasn't told you that she only wants to be your friend.

    I personally couldn't put myself through that ****. But every man for themselves.
    You mean you emphasise with me?

    Well yeah I do want her in my life, she has done so much for me, it just so happens that I've gained feelings for her and I don't know how to deal with them at the moment, I'm not exactly clambering for her acceptance, in fact I've done the exact opposite in not texting her etc etc and she came to me - on more than one occasion.



    (Original post by fat_hobbit)
    From the what you have described, I think I have gathered her type.

    You get girls like this one (your mate), who basically try and wrap you around their finger, as they get a kick out of the psychological validation you give them. They will often do it in such a way where they emotionally blackmail you into believing that they will always be there for you no matter what.

    In the end it's all bull****, if there is something massive to gain out of not being your friend, they will ditch you. Leaving you an emotional wreck. I have known grown men, friends of mine, who have committed suicide over such women, from the depression and anguish they have caused them.

    It is no joke.

    Then you get girls (the one's I generally like), who are just so chilled out and make you feel good. JulietheCat on here is a great example of that type.
    I genuinely don't think that she's like that, I think that she's just low on confidence, I just got to show her that I'm not around her little finger as Im not.

    I think that if I were to walk out of her life right now, she would chase after me, it happened when I didnt talk to her for 5 days.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    You mean you emphasise with me?

    Well yeah I do want her in my life, she has done so much for me, it just so happens that I've gained feelings for her and I don't know how to deal with them at the moment, I'm not exactly clambering for her acceptance, in fact I've done the exact opposite in not texting her etc etc and she came to me - on more than one occasion.
    The whole thing is a total mess.

    Not only is there a conflict in interest here, but you can't control your feelings. You are in no mental state to have a friendship with this girl.

    The reason why she came back to you, is because you gave her the gift of missing you. I told you 5 pages back to do that, and it worked - didn't it?

    I genuinely don't think that she's like that, I think that she's just low on confidence, I just got to show her that I'm not around her little finger as Im not.

    I think that if I were to walk out of her life right now, she would chase after me, it happened when I didnt talk to her for 5 days.
    This is where you have to be a man, and stand firm.

    Tell her that you have to keep your distance, because friendship is not what you want from this.

    It might not work, but generally women like men who are masculine and assertive like this.

    Lead her.
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    100% sack her off.
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    (Original post by Junglee)
    100% sack her off.
    Noticed a trend with these threads to be honest.

    The guys are always sensitive, indecisive and slightly insecure.

    I think the reason why bad boys do well, is because they are blunt, assertive, and dominant.

    Last girl I dated, told me what she was attracted to, was my masculinity.

    Back in the day, men were men. Men are becoming feminized now, and you can see it from this thread.
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    (Original post by fat_hobbit)
    The whole thing is a total mess.

    Not only is there a conflict in interest here, but you can't control your feelings. You are in no mental state to have a friendship with this girl.

    The reason why she came back to you, is because you gave her the gift of missing you. I told you 5 pages back to do that, and it worked - didn't it?



    This is where you have to be a man, and stand firm.

    Tell her that you have to keep your distance, because friendship is not what you want from this.

    It might not work, but generally women like men who are masculine and assertive like this.

    Lead her.
    Yes it did work lol rather well in fact, but your right, I can't keep feeling like this.

    For now at least, even if she is confused at how she feels, I may just have to tell her that I can't be dealing with all of this mixed signals and lots of attention and then no attention.

    I gotta go and do my **** without you and just see what happens. cos mate I got a ****in headache from it all lol
 
 
 
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