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    (Original post by Tyrion_Lannister)
    No. If I choose to go out and find something that's fine, whereas someone pushing their opinions on me is annoying.
    If they're pushing it, then it's not friendly advice. That's the whole sodding point. And it's what we've been saying for 60-odd posts now. I don't know whether you're being deliberately belligerent or not.

    If you were doing something and somebody else who has experience in the field saw it and said "oh, you're doing x like that? Have you considered doing it like this..?" are you really going to consider them to be pushing an opinion on you and making you do something?

    If so, that says far more about you than it does about the other person.

    And, frankly, you need to be better at dealing with it, because it's going to happen all the time. If you want to make professional relationships with people you simply cannot afford to act like that.
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    (Original post by just a dad)
    I should preface any answer by saying that I don't know you or your father, so please accept that huge caveat. Please do not take any offence.

    Yes, it is possible that your relationship with your father was in some respect damaged. And that this will, in some way, have affected your outlook on receiving advice.
    I don't take offense, I and he would probably agree. We get on very well now but used to really struggle because he refused to acknowledge my depression. I saw him as cold, emotionless and uncaring and he saw me as rebellious, difficult and purposefully awkward.

    Perhaps, as he used to try and literally dictate to me what to do, and used to use "it's my house, my rules, and I am in control." if I disagreed with him
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    (Original post by Drewski)
    If they're pushing it, then it's not friendly advice. That's the whole sodding point. And it's what we've been saying for 60-odd posts now. I don't know whether you're being deliberately belligerent or not.

    If you were doing something and somebody else who has experience in the field saw it and said "oh, you're doing x like that? Have you considered doing it like this..?" are you really going to consider them to be pushing an opinion on you and making you do something?

    If so, that says far more about you than it does about the other person.

    And, frankly, you need to be better at dealing with it, because it's going to happen all the time. If you want to make professional relationships with people you simply cannot afford to act like that.
    If it's someone with experience in the field that's fine. I'm on about OPINIONS when it's SUBJECTIVE. Like if someone started telling me "oh have you done it this way? It's so much easier!" when it's just subjective and I wasn't struggling/didn't ask, I'd be a bit miffed they were involving themselves in my business
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    (Original post by Drewski)
    And, frankly, you need to be better at dealing with it, because it's going to happen all the time. If you want to make professional relationships with people you simply cannot afford to act like that.
    Whilst it may be tough to hear, this is very good advice.
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    (Original post by just a dad)
    Giving good advice =/= pushing their opinions on you.

    However it is at this point where I accept that we are going around in circles.
    define good advice? I'm curious
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    (Original post by Tyrion_Lannister)
    If it's someone with experience in the field that's fine. I'm on about OPINIONS when it's SUBJECTIVE. Like if someone started telling me "oh have you done it this way? It's so much easier!" when it's just subjective and I wasn't struggling/didn't ask, I'd be a bit miffed they were involving themselves in my business
    Someone's honestly trying to help and your instant reaction is to "be a bit miffed"? :facepalm2:
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    (Original post by Tyrion_Lannister)
    If it's someone with experience in the field that's fine. I'm on about OPINIONS when it's SUBJECTIVE. Like if someone started telling me "oh have you done it this way? It's so much easier!" when it's just subjective and I wasn't struggling/didn't ask, I'd be a bit miffed they were involving themselves in my business
    No offence, but giving advice to you all sounds rather complicated. Honestly, it is easier to not bother rather than trying to work out whether or not it will be accepted, deemed appropriate or not, seen as subjective or objective, offered on a Monday or a Friday etc.

    Seriously, I think you need to re-think this.
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    (Original post by Tyrion_Lannister)
    define good advice? I'm curious
    See my last post. I have come to realise that working out whether or not advice will be perceived as 'good' or 'bad' is just too much hard work.

    There is something called paralysis by analysis. I think we're getting there.
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    I certainly think anyone who is posting here who qualifies as such should not be exposed to random allegations of being a paedophile by many of the young morons who occupy this site.
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    (Original post by Drewski)
    Someone's honestly trying to help and your instant reaction is to "be a bit miffed"? :facepalm2:
    I don't always want people to help me. How hard is it for people to mind their own business? It's like when shop assistants ask me if I need any help[ the minute I walk through the door. I'LL ask YOU if I do.

    (Original post by just a dad)
    No offence, but giving advice to you all sounds rather complicated. Honestly, it is easier to not bother rather than trying to work out whether or not it will be accepted, deemed appropriate or not, seen as subjective or objective, offered on a Monday or a Friday etc.

    Seriously, I think you need to re-think this.
    Paralysis by analysis?
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    (Original post by Old_Simon)
    I certainly think anyone who is posting here who qualifies as such should not be exposed to random allegations of being a paedophile by many of the young morons who occupy this site.
    Thank you. I was a bit shocked, however the mods have dealt with it.
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    (Original post by Tyrion_Lannister)
    I don't always want people to help me. How hard is it for people to mind their own business? It's like when shop assistants ask me if I need any help the minute I walk through the door. I'LL ask YOU if I do.
    Are you on the wind up? Most people would be more irritated if they did want help in a shop but were not offered any. You must be arguing for the sake of it now.
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    I am reminded of this:

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    (Original post by pane123)
    Are you on the wind up? Most people would be more irritated if they did want help in a shop but were not offered any. You must be arguing for the sake of it now.
    No. I've walked out of shops before because I've felt harassed by sales assistants. It does my head in, I do not need asking if I need help, I am perfectly capable of finding my own stuff. It drives my mum mad as well.

    Both of us are completely puzzled as to people exist who actually like it, as companies tell their staff to do it
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    (Original post by Tyrion_Lannister)
    No. I've walked out of shops before because I've felt harassed by sales assistants. It does my head in, I do not need asking if I need help, I am perfectly capable of finding my own stuff. It drives my mum mad as well.

    Both of us are completely puzzled as to people exist who actually like it, as companies tell their staff to do it
    Asking "can I help?" hardly equates to harassment and a simple "no, just looking" should do the trick. Nobody likes being harassed by sales assistants, but the example you gave is just someone doing their job.

    I don't see how you can get through life without considering the opinions of other people.
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    (Original post by pane123)
    Asking "can I help?" hardly equates to harassment and a simple "no, just looking" should do the trick. Nobody likes being harassed by sales assistants, but the example you gave is just someone doing their job.

    I don't see how you can get through life without considering the opinions of other people.
    It's annoying though. What can you help me with when I've just walked through the door? I haven't even had the chance to look yet! It's irritating and makes me feel like I'm being watched.

    I do consider their opinions. When I ask for them. I just don't appreciate having them thrown on me.
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    Ms X runs a small business. It turns over a modest profit, she is happy enough, and things could be a lot worse.

    Her local small business advisor has some great ideas to increase T/O and profitability and reduce overheads. Unfortunately, she hasn't asked for his help.

    What should he do?
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    (Original post by Tyrion_Lannister)
    It's annoying though. What can you help me with when I've just walked through the door? I haven't even had the chance to look yet! It's irritating and makes me feel like I'm being watched.

    I do consider their opinions. When I ask for them. I just don't appreciate having them thrown on me.
    People often go to a shop looking for a specific item or style.
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    (Original post by just a dad)
    Ms X runs a small business. It turns over a modest profit, she is happy enough, and things could be a lot worse.

    Her local small business advisor has some great ideas to increase T/O and profitability and reduce overheads. Unfortunately, she hasn't asked for his help.

    What should he do?
    Keep quiet of course, harassment is bad.
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    (Original post by manchesterunited15)
    People often go to a shop looking for a specific item or style.
    Yeah but at least give them a chance to find it on their own?
 
 
 
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