Mental Health Support Society XVIII

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    English exam number 1 today.

    I honestly don't feel like I can do this. I really don't.
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    (Original post by Caggyxx)
    Hey everyone, so this isn't really about me but I was hoping I could get some advice this might be a little long btw sorry. My boyfriend of about 2 years (I'm 18 he's 19) suffers from depression and anxiety, he has since way before we met. He has no friends apart from me, i'm the only person of our age he has regular contact with, he dropped out of college and is currently unemployed and he always tells me he feels like his life is going no where or that he'll be stuck doing menial labour jobs his whole life. I've tried to get him to spend time with my group of friends because they all really like him but his anxiety stops him from feeling comfortable and enjoying himself around them so he's told me he doesn't want to do that anymore.

    About a year ago i convinced to go and get some help and he went to the doctor and they put him on anti-depressants and a waiting list for counselling. He hated being on the medication and didn't feel like it helped at all, and he had to wait about 7 months to be seen by a counsellor, which was ****. When he actually did get to see one he went to a couple appointments (which were like weeks apart and really short??) and basically said they weren't helping at all and so he asked the counsellor if he could have a different form of therapy like CBT or something. So they cancelled his appointents and said when they got back to him he'd have to go on another waiting list, but they never got back to him. He stopped taking his meds because he didn't see the point so now we're back to square one :/ What do you do when you actually seek out help and it doesn't work? is there any other places he can go to for help that isn't the NHS and isn't expensive?? I'm just not sure how to help him.

    What's worse is that I'm moving across the country to go to uni in september and so we're gonna do long distance and I'm not sure how he's gonna cope because i'm like basically his only support system, what should i do??
    Sorry about the length I just really need some advice
    When you seek out help and it doesn't work, you either need to try again or get a second opinion. A different GP in the practice might turn out to be more helpful.

    He needs to chase up that CBT referral and make sure it actually happened, and ask where he is on the list (his GP should be able to give some idea, or to find out for him). It would be better for him to go back on meds - there are lots of different antidepressants so if one didn't work for him, maybe another one will.

    Non-NHS options are inevitably expensive but I understand that sometimes local charities/branches of Mind might offer lower-price counselling for those who can't afford to go private. There's also the IAPT service, though whether it runs in your area is a different matter (it's not nation-wide, sadly) :yes:
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    :hugs:

    I'm sorry to hear that Panda. Could you maybe go see your mum or someone who might be able to look after you while you're feeling this crappy? Have you got a friend you can talk things over with? Sometimes getting it all out can help.
    Dont have the money to go see her :sadpanda: work are being really supportive which is great but it makes leaving harder.

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    (Original post by Midnightmemories)
    English exam number 1 today.

    I honestly don't feel like I can do this. I really don't.
    Good luck :hugs:
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    Really tempted to cancel my therapy appointment today because I've got a headache and my you know what girls but it's only 3 hours away from my appt and that would make me as bad as her when she cancels on me so close to an appt

    ----

    My lucky day! Guess who's office just called me and cancelled?

    As angry as I am for her cancelling for the third time, today I'm more relieved. I can go back to bed for an hour or two now


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    (Original post by Spock's Socks)
    Really tempted to cancel my therapy appointment today because I've got a headache and my you know what girls but it's only 3 hours away from my appt and that would make me as bad as her when she cancels on me so close to an appt

    ----

    My lucky day! Guess who's office just called me and cancelled?

    As angry as I am for her cancelling for the third time, today I'm more relieved. I can go back to bed for an hour or two now


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    She cancelled you on? Defo get a new therapist, seriously. :yep:

    Wish I could go back to bed. Enjoy! :hugs:
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    (Original post by Airmed)
    She cancelled you on? Defo get a new therapist, seriously. :yep:

    Wish I could go back to bed. Enjoy! :hugs:
    That's the third time and at least this time she gave me three hours warning instead of just one :laugh:


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    (Original post by Spock's Socks)
    That's the third time and at least this time she gave me three hours warning instead of just one :laugh:


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    Still, 3 times is bad. What's her excuse?
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    (Original post by Airmed)
    Still, 3 times is bad. What's her excuse?
    Her office never tell the reason. I don't find out until I see her next and then she tells me. Both times before this one she said it was because she felt ill and had to go home and I'm guessing it'll the the same when I next see her.

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    One of the young guys at work has been really quiet and refusing to talk about his psychosis. He opened up to me yesterday and told me everything that was going on for him. I felt so touched he gelt he could approach me
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    Sat in the council waiting to see my fate :sigh:

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    he wont leave me alone
    #6

    (Original post by Caggyxx)
    Hey everyone, so this isn't really about me but I was hoping I could get some advice this might be a little long btw sorry. My boyfriend of about 2 years (I'm 18 he's 19) suffers from depression and anxiety, he has since way before we met. He has no friends apart from me, i'm the only person of our age he has regular contact with, he dropped out of college and is currently unemployed and he always tells me he feels like his life is going no where or that he'll be stuck doing menial labour jobs his whole life. I've tried to get him to spend time with my group of friends because they all really like him but his anxiety stops him from feeling comfortable and enjoying himself around them so he's told me he doesn't want to do that anymore.

    About a year ago i convinced to go and get some help and he went to the doctor and they put him on anti-depressants and a waiting list for counselling. He hated being on the medication and didn't feel like it helped at all, and he had to wait about 7 months to be seen by a counsellor, which was ****. When he actually did get to see one he went to a couple appointments (which were like weeks apart and really short??) and basically said they weren't helping at all and so he asked the counsellor if he could have a different form of therapy like CBT or something. So they cancelled his appointents and said when they got back to him he'd have to go on another waiting list, but they never got back to him. He stopped taking his meds because he didn't see the point so now we're back to square one :/ What do you do when you actually seek out help and it doesn't work? is there any other places he can go to for help that isn't the NHS and isn't expensive?? I'm just not sure how to help him.

    What's worse is that I'm moving across the country to go to uni in september and so we're gonna do long distance and I'm not sure how he's gonna cope because i'm like basically his only support system, what should i do??
    Sorry about the length I just really need some advice
    Are there any charities or organisations in your area that offer support or counselling? In my area there is an organisation called Teens in Crisis and I was set up with a counsellor a week after I had contacted them, but they've said it usually takes no more than three to four weeks for something to be set up. I'm not sure whether this is a nation wide thing, but I'm sure there will be something similar in your area.
    #6

    (Original post by Caggyxx)
    x
    I forgot to mention this in my previous post The counselling I got from the charity was free.

    If there aren't any organisations near you, there are things online he could try. I was having a look at this the other day and I saw that there do appear to be websites that offer online counselling or support, either via Skype or via instant messaging. I imagine that you should be able to find free ones without too much difficulty. The charity I mentioned earlier, Teens in Crisis Gloucestershire, are updating their website this summer to include online counselling, and while I'm not entirely sure whether it will offer support to people all over the country or just my county, it may be worth a look. (Just to give you a specific website, rather than just vague suggestions).

    There's also a website called MoodGYM which offers free online CBT, and I think there are other apps you can get for that as well.
    #6

    (Original post by moment of truth)
    Ahh okay. I don't think she would be upset if you went back to her and told her that you are still struggling and need her support. I was in therapy for nearly a year, but only told my therapist some things after a period of time when I felt completely comfortable with saying it. If you had a really positive relationship and she supported you well, then do go back. It is better to have support rather than suffer alone :hugs:

    Is there any other reason why you don't want to go back?
    Yeah, I know that she's there to help and everything, but I just don't really want to go back and be like, actually, I wasn't telling you the whole truth... I do have support from a few friends (I know it's not counselling but at least it's someone I can turn to), and I've just signed up to MoodGYM to see if that's any help, so, I think I can get on for the moment without going back to the counsellor.

    I'm not really sure. I just have a bit of an odd feeling about it, like I know I probably should go back, but I just don't want to, and I don't really have any specific reasons why. I felt the same when the subject of getting help first came up, it took me months and months to finally go and speak to someone. I guess at the moment it's partly the fact that I'm only at school for another few weeks before I go on study leave and then leave for good (my meetings with the counsellor took place at school) and if it takes a few weeks to get another counselling slot, there doesn't seem much point doing one or two sessions and then not being able to do any more. But that's definitely not the only reason for me not wanting to go... I'm not sure.

    Thank you for your help by the way and thanks to the others who have replied to my posts!
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    Took the exam today.
    Think it went okay considering that I some how managed to stay calm.
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    I feel like i am going to crash and burn. Nothing is getting better.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Awh well i guess so lol idk this is here to support people with like idk real issues not like stress and anxiety and whatever lol
    yeh i guess so, at the time it just feels so good and before hand like the urge is there but then afterwards just feel really ashamed tbh
    i guess so, thank you lovely :hugs:
    and thank you, would appreciate that tbh (im the person who reps this post but i can just pm you first) , and your advice isn't crap the thing about the music really helped xx
    Can totally relate to this; i'm exactly the same...
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    meant to put this in the post above....
    can relate to that lovely xx
    hope you feel better soon and as you say try not to let it affect your last few weeks there although ik that is easier said than done :hugs:
    awww thank you same to you too xxx
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    So ****ing tired.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I forgot to mention this in my previous post The counselling I got from the charity was free.

    If there aren't any organisations near you, there are things online he could try. I was having a look at this the other day and I saw that there do appear to be websites that offer online counselling or support, either via Skype or via instant messaging. I imagine that you should be able to find free ones without too much difficulty. The charity I mentioned earlier, Teens in Crisis Gloucestershire, are updating their website this summer to include online counselling, and while I'm not entirely sure whether it will offer support to people all over the country or just my county, it may be worth a look. (Just to give you a specific website, rather than just vague suggestions).

    There's also a website called MoodGYM which offers free online CBT, and I think there are other apps you can get for that as well.
    Thanks for the suggestions, these are really helpful. I'll talk to him about it and see what he thinks (although he's probably gonna be pretty skeptical about it all after the first time).
 
 
 
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