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    Wentr out Evrrythubg wrnt to ****r eallt hadd a dlashbck onn strairs andn shee saidd tti wass ok but j dknt tgink j feeel ok snd nkw on m5 bed but im wearjnf shoes andd I dktn eeallt know wwy im hear have hd so msny med§s and alcohlyl thwyt might be fault maube I slrtt of hrut sort of mnumb ands I dont emembr comjng home
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    Been rubbish today but going to my friend's house now, which hopefully will be alright. Can't stop worrying about the future though . Having CBT again tomorrow so at least I'll get to talk about it.

    ps. does anyone know why my panda picture appears in my profile but not by my messages? thanks
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    (Original post by sadpanda123)
    Been rubbish today but going to my friend's house now, which hopefully will be alright. Can't stop worrying about the future though . Having CBT again tomorrow so at least I'll get to talk about it.

    ps. does anyone know why my panda picture appears in my profile but not by my messages? thanks
    You set it to profile picture not avatar. Set it to avatar if you want it to appear by your messages.
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    :facepalm:

    why do i forget to listen?
    i went to the drs on tuesday, and said she was gonna put a referal into the couselling service they use, then gave me a bit of paper and i THINK she said phone them within 3 days if they havnt phoned me, but i cant remember :facepalm:

    no idea what to do now, might leave it till monday, and try and phone when my mums out
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    (Original post by sadpanda123)
    Been rubbish today but going to my friend's house now, which hopefully will be alright. Can't stop worrying about the future though . Having CBT again tomorrow so at least I'll get to talk about it.

    ps. does anyone know why my panda picture appears in my profile but not by my messages? thanks
    You need to go to the link below to change your avatar

    http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/prof...?do=editavatar
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    Possible ED trigger

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    I ****ing hate quetiapine. Since the increase I've put 10lbs on. I realize that doesn't sound like all that much, but it puts my weight up to 180lbs which at 5'9 is a hell of a lot. I've been logging all my calories and exercise with myfitnesspal for the past 3 weeks - I've been eating 1500 calories a day along with the gym/swimming 5 times a week and I haven't lost a single pound. I know it's only 3 weeks but surely at least a little weight should have come off by now? I feel so let down with myself but I don't see what I can do above what I'm already doing. It's summer and I want to wear shorts and go swimming but I'm so huge, I feel like such a whale especially next to my gorgeous and thin wife. Since I started these drugs my weight has got out of control, I used to look pretty ****ing good but now I bet everyone in the street is laughing at me and are disgusted by my apparent lack of self-control. :rolleyes: :cry:
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
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    I ****ing hate quetiapine. Since the increase I've put 10lbs on. I realize that doesn't sound like all that much, but it puts my weight up to 180lbs which at 5'9 is a hell of a lot. I've been logging all my calories and exercise with myfitnesspal for the past 3 weeks - I've been eating 1500 calories a day along with the gym/swimming 5 times a week and I haven't lost a single pound. I know it's only 3 weeks but surely at least a little weight should have come off by now? I feel so let down with myself but I don't see what I can do above what I'm already doing. It's summer and I want to wear shorts and go swimming but I'm so huge, I feel like such a whale especially next to my gorgeous and thin wife. Since I started these drugs my weight has got out of control, I used to look pretty ****ing good but now I bet everyone in the street is laughing at me and are disgusted by my apparent lack of self-control. :rolleyes: :cry:
    Are you doing steady state cardio? (ie. jog for 30 minutes, swim for 45 etc..)

    You might want to try HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training) basically where you do say 30 seconds of all out, 30 seconds rest.. Up to 15-20 minutes, if you can continue after 20 minutes then it wasn't 'all out.' It's been proven to be more effective than just jogging for 50 minutes.

    Your calorie intake doesn't look that bad although if you switch over to HIIT maybe try 3 days a week initially for a couple of weeks. If that fails then i'd say it is most likely the drugs.
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    (Original post by Idle)
    Are you doing steady state cardio? (ie. jog for 30 minutes, swim for 45 etc..)

    You might want to try HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training) basically where you do say 30 seconds of all out, 30 seconds rest.. Up to 15-20 minutes, if you can continue after 20 minutes then it wasn't 'all out.' It's been proven to be more effective than just jogging for 50 minutes.

    Your calorie intake doesn't look that bad although if you switch over to HIIT maybe try 3 days a week initially for a couple of weeks. If that fails then i'd say it is most likely the drugs.
    Thanks for the reply but yeah I have been doing HIIT on the stationary bike, usually for 20minutes with a 5minute cool down at the end. I'm pouring sweat by the end of it. On days inbetween I've been going swimming and lifting weights. Doesn't seem to be working at all which is really demotivating.
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    AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MOTIVATION PLEASE COME TO MEEEEEEEEEE cry. :cry2:
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    :bawling: Had the most horiffic day imaginable and I'm sure I've just failed A level physics :cry2: I can't breathe or think properly and I'm in lots of physical pain and I don't know why. Really don't know what to do but am borderline hysterical and I really need someone to come and give me a hug :cry: :bawling: I really can't do this :cry:


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    the long version of my post from earlier now I can type and think and on computer so got auto correct to help me along

    went to garden party. was moved inside cos rain. crowd. alcohol. stupid idea. I should stay on my own always, not looking for people to tell me its all fine and I can do everything I want cos I can't. should stop trying and being so ****ing obstinate, like I'm still trying to fight everything he did to me when I can't, I can't fight it.

    anyway I was standing with someone who I'm not really close to but I know she's safe anyway just because I know she's a good feminist and just.. safe. and she said I looked like I was going to be sick but I said I wasn't I needed to go outside and she came with me I think was pale or something and then it was happening again and then she was asking if there was anything she could do but I managed to say ptsd and instead she just sat there with me with her arm around me until it stopped. then had diazepam and cried and god I hate crying in public I hate all of it. after a while she took me inside for some food because alcohol and diazepam on empty stomach and made small talk with some people while I felt empty I hate this.

    then I was home on my bed with my shoes on I don't really remember the middle but I was on the phone. I think dissociated. it feels like about half an hour has passed since 16.30 but actually 5 hours and I'm kind of exhausted as well. managed to eat some food. oh I don't know what to do. how can I go outside when that can just happen. how can I go home when that can just happen. how can I apologise for making her look after me while something happened that wasn't real. I don't think I really want to die but oh. how. can I ever. get better. I don't know what to do and my whole body aches and I feel like a bunch of strangers just witnessed me in the most vulnerable and dehumanised position ever. like I've been exposed and I can't undo it. how can I do this.
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    Want to cry. Curled up on my bed in pain and hqve been for hours. ****ed up a job oppertunity. Not even started my uni work and no money to go back to uni and hand it in. I just give up
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    in all honesty i dont even know if i want to be alive right now. If it wasnt fir my boyfriend id have nothing
    just feeling massively **** and fat and ugly and urgh

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    Sorta kinda told somebody a little bit about a massive trigger of mine but then I realised they know the person so it'd be really awkward for me to tell them. I realy want to tell somebody. I need help working through this and somebody to reasure me of what to do but I just can't do that to anybody. Everybody I know also knows them and they just have a way of always finding things out.

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    Does anyone know if your body can build up tolerances to anti-depressants? I'm just wondering because my sleep has started to become broken up again which hasn't happened since I switched from Citalopram in February/March time.
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    Just want to cry forever. I feel pathetic.
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    Had an awful hangover today so me and a friend had a day chilling and eating 'hangover food' and then when she left I started going through the bins finding wrappers and trying to add up everything I ate and then I stressed out and purged, a lot, and then did four hours trying to burn it all off and I just. I feel disgusting for having eaten so much and disgusting for reacting how I have. She was fine with eating so much so why can't I be?
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    (Original post by Deyesy)
    Does anyone know if your body can build up tolerances to anti-depressants? I'm just wondering because my sleep has started to become broken up again.
    You don't really become tolerant to antidepressants over time (though they can stop working, the term tolerance is kind of oversimplistic and it's not fully understood why antidepressant 'poop out' happens).

    However, as well as being an AD mirtazapine is an antihistamine, and it's that which is sedating. The sedating antihistamine effect of mirtazapine is known to decrease with time, so that could well be what is happening for you. Are you doing all the other sleep hygiene things - getting some exercise during the day, staying out of bed all day, turning screens off a couple of hours before bed, etc? That's probably the first port of call if not.
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    in pain and really restless. i cant ****ing do this anymore, i dont even know the best position to lie/sit in, whatever i do it ****ing kills. why is everything getting to me today? :cry2:
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    (Original post by asdfgah)
    You don't really become tolerant to antidepressants over time (though they can stop working, the term tolerance is kind of oversimplistic and it's not fully understood why antidepressant 'poop out' happens).

    However, as well as being an AD mirtazapine is an antihistamine, and it's that which is sedating. The sedating antihistamine effect of mirtazapine is known to decrease with time, so that could well be what is happening for you. Are you doing all the other sleep hygiene things - getting some exercise during the day, staying out of bed all day, turning screens off a couple of hours before bed, etc? That's probably the first port of call if not.
    Sorry, tolerance/tolerant was probably the wrong word.

    Exercise during the day? That like never, never happens If anything I'm getting out of bed earlier because I'm nowhere near as zonked out as I have been. Screen's before bed? Well I watch the things on our Sky Box that I've recorded during the evening before I go bed and it's never been a problem while taking Mirtazapine before now. Well I don't fall asleep immediately when I get to bed but it's not been a problem with staying asleep once I've fallen asleep.

    I apologise for the long-windedness >.<
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    (Original post by Deyesy)
    Sorry, tolerance/tolerant was probably the wrong word.

    Exercise during the day? That like never, never happens If anything I'm getting out of bed earlier because I'm nowhere near as zonked out as I have been. Screen's before bed? Well I watch the things on our Sky Box that I've recorded during the evening before I go bed and it's never been a problem while taking Mirtazapine before now. Well I don't fall asleep immediately when I get to bed but it's not been a problem with staying asleep once I've fallen asleep.

    I apologise for the long-windedness >.<
    No worries about long-windedness. It might not have been a problem before now because the mirtazapine was sedating you, but if that effect has stopped then it could make a difference. Apparently the stimulating effects of artificial light stop the normal circadian rhythm (sleep cycle) and if that is disturbed I guess it could make sense that you would wake up more overnight? I know it's hard to have hours in the evening without distraction, but perhaps you could try a couple of nights where you read for an hour or two before going to bed instead, and see if it makes a difference. Exercise during the day could help too - if you're anxious about doing it in front of people you could do push ups, sit ups, etc. that you can do on your own. I think just building a routine around bedtime is helpful for me (I always listen to Harry Potter audiobooks ).
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    We're past the point of no return...
    Told my friend! Freaking out so much about it but I figured I had to. They wanted me to tell my parents- NO WAY!- but then we decided that they'd just come into therapy with me for my next session instead cos I begged them not to. I guess this is probably a good thing? I feel so stupid saying it cos it sounds so crazy and imposible but I guess i'll just need to suck it up. I'm really scared to talk about it but nothing's happened yet I supose.

    Going away tomorrow to see my grandad so i'll be staying in a strange place on top of all this. My friends did say I could text them though after last nigh so that may help.

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