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    Definitely definitely don't feel safe tonight. Don't feel strong enough and don't want to carry on like this as everything is too damn painful


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    (Original post by catoswyn)
    The thing is with paranoid thinking is that it takes up a vast amount of psychic energy because, aside from the fear itself, you have to keep trying to work out what is real and what is not and how realistic your responses are. That's exhausting and such exhaustion can deplete your reserves and lead to panic, depression or de-personalisation. It sounds as though you are in that position because you have insight into the possible faultiness of your thinking.

    As you are unable to talk about it to anyone that leaves you attempting to work it all out by yourself. Are you afraid to talk to the MHT because you that might re-diagnose you or is it the actual details of what you thought or what actually happened in the past? They will not break the medical confidentiality agreement lightly so unless a serious crime has been committed or you are in imminent danger they are very unlikely to race off to the police without your permission.

    Obviously you are the one who understands most about what you are going through with this but it really does help to be able to touch base with someone who can help you work out the validity of the thoughts, your reactions and what happened. This could be a friend or a 'friendly stranger' such as people you trust on this thread to give good and supportive feedback via PM.

    In terms of diagnosis it can also be an immense relief to get medication that can deal with paranoid thoughts. It doesn't have to be heavy duty stuff either nowadays.

    Thank you so much. I told one of my friends a short while ago. She really helped me last time when I was SHing. She was supportive yet insistent and that's really what I need. She told me if I didn't tell my parents she would because it's a big deal but I managed to negotiate (beg) her down to seeing my therapist with me.

    I think I know in my head that at least some of this is paranoia of some sort but I can't convince myself. Every time I try to fight it off it just invents some new reason I can't do that. Ah well now she knows i'll have to do something about it cos if there's one thing I don't want to happen it's my parents finding out.

    I'm not scared of a rediagnosis or anything- i've pretty much accepted that i'm a bit paranoid already- in fact a diagnosis would really really help me cos then i'd have proof of some sort. It's what will happen if i'm not paranoid and all the fears I have are real that's worrying me. If what i'm scared will happen does happen... Well it just won't be pretty.

    It really helped to have somebody actually put it in those sorta blunt terms instead of pussy footing around it saying "oh that sound hard" or something. It actually feels real now and more like I can fight it. :hugs: Thank you so much!

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    And my boyfriend just accused me of cheating on him. This is not what I need why do you not trust me?
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    (Original post by Deyesy)
    Does anyone know if your body can build up tolerances to anti-depressants? I'm just wondering because my sleep has started to become broken up again which hasn't happened since I switched from Citalopram in February/March time.
    Yes the sleep effect can alter over time. This is because the sedation aspect of some anti-depressants is actually a side effect. Not everyone even experiences it. You can adjust to this side effect just like any others. So an anti-depressant may start off helping with sleep but over time you adjust to the side effect and it has less effect on this. The medication will still be working on the depression itself though... that is not a 'side effect' function.

    The difficulty is that raising the dosage may re-introduce the sedation and help with sleep but you may eventually adjust again to this aspect. Also it may not be appropriate to raise the dosage for other reasons. However a psychiatrist is best placed to work out if a small rise in dosage may be the best option and lead to a stable sleep pattern.

    Its a hard thing to get the balance of. The hope is that by the time the side effect has worn off the improvement in the depression/anxiety itself will have led to a better sleep pattern. If that hasn't happened or new stressors have arisen in the meantime then you need to mention it and see if they recommend a new dosage.

    Nothing worse than crap sleep!



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    (Original post by Kindred)
    Sorta kinda told somebody a little bit about a massive trigger of mine but then I realised they know the person so it'd be really awkward for me to tell them. I realy want to tell somebody. I need help working through this and somebody to reasure me of what to do but I just can't do that to anybody. Everybody I know also knows them and they just have a way of always finding things out.

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    If you ever do want to PM regarding this then you are welcome.

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    (Original post by 08batee)
    :bawling: Had the most horiffic day imaginable and I'm sure I've just failed A level physics :cry2: I can't breathe or think properly and I'm in lots of physical pain and I don't know why. Really don't know what to do but am borderline hysterical and I really need someone to come and give me a hug :cry: :bawling: I really can't do this :cry:


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    BIG HUG (from a distance)

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    Had a rather indecisive day today. Went shopping with friends which was fun but I was really easily annoyed and stuff and I was still feeling really stressed and worried.
    Spoiler:
    Show
    I kept shaking my leg, fidgeting and biting myself. The shaking is normal for me but the biting is only when i'm really stressed and hardly ever that bad. It was so obvious and my friend even asked me "why are you biting yourself?" all I could think to say was "it's just something I do". Awkward! My apitite is also really low at the moment and sleep isn't going all that well which really can't be helping matters.


    I got so annoyed by this ****** woman who asked us to take a survey. She was a nice old lady who came up to us and asked if we'd take a quick survey. It was not quick.
    It looked like just one page to start with but it turned out to be like 10. We must've been doing it for like 20 minuets! She kept looking over at my answers and saying things like "oh so that doesn't matter to you?" and "are you sure?". That's interviewer bias and leading questions!! It's meant to be MY PERSONAL opinion so **** off and let ME answer it! She also kept looking over my shoulder and explaining things that really didn't need explaining.
    Anyway at the end it asked for your name and contact info. She pointed out that I hadn't filled it in so I said "isn't it an anonymous survey?" expecting that to be that, but she kept insisting. You can't pester somebody for their name and where they live. I swear there are like codes and laws about that! She finally accepted I wasn't going to give my name but still figures she'd ask for my adress. My answer was very pointed (i was extreemly agrovated by this point) and I just said what county we were in at the time. She was like "oh okay" then turned around to my friend and was like "YOU filled it in though didn't you?".
    That was done. I walked off yelling and raged about it for like the next hour at least. It's just bad manners! Would you shop at _ again? No, not if she's there!
    I mean I know i'm not exactly somebody who tollerates annoyances well but that was just plain rude!

    Ah well I seem reletivly calm after that little rant so hopefully when I try to sleep tonight I won't have an anxiety attack again. I can deal with lying awake thinking of bad things for ages and crying- things like that- but last night was just too freaky!

    Well here's hoping for a good night (for all of you too). Hope you're all okay. Sorry i'm not being all that supportive atm.


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    (Original post by Kindred)
    We're past the point of no return...
    Told my friend! Freaking out so much about it but I figured I had to. They wanted me to tell my parents- NO WAY!- but then we decided that they'd just come into therapy with me for my next session instead cos I begged them not to. I guess this is probably a good thing? I feel so stupid saying it cos it sounds so crazy and imposible but I guess i'll just need to suck it up. I'm really scared to talk about it but nothing's happened yet I supose.

    Going away tomorrow to see my grandad so i'll be staying in a strange place on top of all this. My friends did say I could text them though after last nigh so that may help.

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    It sounds to me like you did a good thing by talking to your friend. They sound supportive.

    Well done.

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    Bit of an odd day. It was my 20th birthday and i can't help thinking that I've wasted years doing academic stuff. I enjoyed academic stuff though so clearly my logic is broken.
    My parents gave me money and rhen I went shopping and felt guilty for spending it. The friend I wss with didn't realise it was my birthday and I liked that, would rather have acted like it was any ither day but she realised and insisted on buying me something.
    Also my gran gave me money, way more than I would havr expected and I don't know why she gave me so much. Feel hoorible for seeming so ungrateful
    Birthday's are hard. On the other hand there is cake.

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    (Original post by VaVe)
    Bit of an odd day. It was my 20th birthday and i can't help thinking that I've wasted years doing academic stuff. I enjoyed academic stuff though so clearly my logic is broken.
    My parents gave me money and rhen I went shopping and felt guilty for spending it. The friend I wss with didn't realise it was my birthday and I liked that, would rather have acted like it was any ither day but she realised and insisted on buying me something.
    Also my gran gave me money, way more than I would havr expected and I don't know why she gave me so much. Feel hoorible for seeming so ungrateful
    Birthday's are hard. On the other hand there is cake.

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    Happy Birthday
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    Not sectioned. Not being forced meds :woo:
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    made it through the night JUST
    luckily my boyfriend woke up before i did something VERY silly.
    he watched me sleep the entire night to make sure i was ok and safe.

    still in pain, but hopefully in a better state of mind than last night

    just wasnt safe at all


    (Original post by Noodlzzz)
    Not sectioned. Not being forced meds :woo:
    :woo: well done, hopefully even that will help you feel better, even if slightly
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    (Original post by catoswyn)
    BIG HUG (from a distance)

    Thank you :hugs:



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    I'm going on a night out (of sorts...it's an award based thing) tonight. I'm really not an night out type person, but i'm fed up with having depression take-over my day-to-day life to the extent where I want to do this as a one-off, just so I feel stronger within myself and fight back on my depression and anxiety. I'm just hoping i'm not going to regret this decision, but I feel like I need to take risks and get out of the comfort zone from time-to-time. I just want to fight back and not be overwhelmed any more.
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    Never expected this to happen to me again :cry:. Luckily I didn't know him as well as I knew C but it still brings back awful memories

    All I know right now is how much it hurts and I'm trying to hold myself together and not fall to pieces

    Keep thinking about C and how much I miss him. I would do anything to bring him back because this pain is almost unbareable

    To top it all off, another friend has gone through something exceptionally similar to what happened to me, and if I was her I'd just be thinking "****, great now I'm gonna end up with issues like her". I must be the worst person for her to see because I'm such a ****ed up mess :cry: :cry: :cry:

    Don't even know how to support her

    Why does all the **** stuff happen at once? Can't deal right now


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    (Original post by IDukem)
    I'm going on a night out (of sorts...it's an award based thing) tonight. I'm really not an night out type person, but i'm fed up with having depression take-over my day-to-day life to the extent where I want to do this as a one-off, just so I feel stronger within myself and fight back on my depression and anxiety. I'm just hoping i'm not going to regret this decision, but I feel like I need to take risks and get out of the comfort zone from time-to-time. I just want to fight back and not be overwhelmed any more.
    PRSOM . I'm so happy for you hun, you're being so strong at the moment. Sending all the best happy thoughts I can manage atm. I believe in you and you can do this


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    Had a busy few days. One of my uncles died so I had to go to his funeral yesterday, while before that it was 3 exams in 3 days.

    Now today has been **** because I've been ill :sad:. Got 2 exams left and need to revise for them. The finish line is in sight now I guess. Shaping up to be a boring evening right now, can hear a wedding taking place nearby and wish I could join in

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    Getting conflicting advice which is making me ill. I am trying to find some where to live because my Tenancy Agreement end at the end of the month, landlady has not goiven me formal legal notice. My support worker is trying to get my landlady and suggest I hang on whilst my mum is applying pressure to find a place
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    anyone free to PM? could be triggering though
    not coping at all
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    (Original post by PonchoKid)
    anyone free to PM? could be triggering though
    not coping at all
    Don't know how helpful I can be but feel free to PM. :hugs:
 
 
 
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