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    (Original post by octoberbaby)
    And my boyfriend just accused me of cheating on him. This is not what I need why do you not trust me?
    :hugs: Hope you're okay? PM me if you need to.
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    (Original post by avhhs)
    Had a busy few days. One of my uncles died so I had to go to his funeral yesterday, while before that it was 3 exams in 3 days.

    Now today has been **** because I've been ill :sad:. Got 2 exams left and need to revise for them. The finish line is in sight now I guess. Shaping up to be a boring evening right now, can hear a wedding taking place nearby and wish I could join in

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    Sorry to hear about your uncle :hugs: Good luck for the rest of your exams.


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    Well I thought I was having a good day but then my parents started fighting. No doubt this is going to be another bad night. I really don't need this at the moment! :'(


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    I'm so out of touch on this board. Life/exhaustion is getting in the way. I hope everyone is surviving :-)
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    Okay so I'm starting to think this level of worrying and doubt isn't normal, not even when you take into account depression an OCD stuff. I'm really nervous about telling my therapist. I have no idea what's going to happen. I told my friend the bare bones though which was a huge step for me. She's being really supportive and she's going to go in with me too. It sounds so insane... I sound so insane. I don't know how much of what I think is true and how much isn't. I'm worried if I tell them they'll prove to me it's just my imagination when it's actually not and then ill be off guard.

    Its really getting to me at the moment and making me more depressed and anxious. It really doesn't help that my parents are stressing out and I'm going to be away for the weekend. If I freak out at home I can calm myself down a bit by knowing my friends live close enough they can come help me and generally by knowing where I am. When I'm away there will be nobody there to help me and I'll be in a really different place. I always freak out when I'm in a different place but its going to be worse cos I'm even freaking out at home. AND I'll need to be getting up early and putting on a brave face to socialise. I'm really not looking forward to this!


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    #14

    Feeling very trapped. Don't have anyone to talk to. Am scared about tonight. So so so scared :cry:

    Not sure what to do anymore

    Please someone help :cry:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Feeling very trapped. Don't have anyone to talk to. Am scared about tonight. So so so scared :cry:

    Not sure what to do anymore

    Please someone help :cry:
    Hey, you can talk to me for a bit if you like.
    And don't forget you can always call or email Samaritans or Childline etc if you want to talk. :hugs:

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    I feel like i'm hogging the thread a bit at the moment. I hope everybody is having a good night and has a nice day. How are you all doing?
    _________

    That awkward moment when two people who both have to send the last text start texting eachother. Really really awkward. Just a neverending conversation of "goodnight". I feel rather mean for being the one to tell them to stop replying now :/ ah well i'll bite the bullet next time for them
    It's really nice to know somebody else who understands that sort of thing though. It's really rare to find somebody who actually means it when they say "i'm a little OCD myself" yet alone for them to be somebody you know. I feel a little less crazy when i'm around people like that. I can relax a bit more and let out a little more of the crazy. Such a relief!

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    Oh. The list of reasons for me to never leave my room has grown unbearably long.

    Went to say hi to a friend at 8.30. It's now 2AM and I only just got back. Was meant to be a 10 minute thing. Three flashbacks and so many tears later I was finally escorted to the shower and have washed all the horribleness I can away.

    So now basically everyone has seen me in my most vulnerable state ever. Feel completely broken like it really just happened on the floor in front of all of my friends and I feel so numb and horrible. Still just shaking and crying because my god that was bad. Don't think I'm ever going to feel ok again
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    I managed to go and I lasted the whole duration with hardly any negative effects. I did have a small dose of isolation feeling when I sat on my own fro a bit and no one came an talked to me, but other than that, I managed to go the whole evening trigger free. I didn't any any awards, but I did get nominated for one and i'm thrilled that I got nominated as it showed me that my hard work hasn't gone unrecognised. This has also provided a boost in my motivation as I really would like an award for my efforts, although i'm not a sore loser at all as I believe the person who wins the/an award is the most deserving

    But the nomination wasn't my most satisfying part of the night at all. The way I managed to get back up after being knocked down every single time is the most satisfactory thing i've felt about my self in a long time. Awards and grades are all great, but inner satisfaction is greater and I can't believe i'm going to utter these words, but i'm so proud of myself. I am my worst enemy, but i'm also my biggest fan and as long as I remember that "success has been and will always be defined as getting up ONE MORE TIME, than you've been knocked down", hopefully i'll remain motivated and can carry on fighting against depression.

    Anyway enough of my rambling, I hope all is all right with everyone. :hugs: To all that need them
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    Can't. Do. This. Arghgghghgggh :cry: So ****ing useless and stupid and hdydffhdfxhc :bawling:


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    Sorry to everyone for last night. Im still around, so no need to worry. Gonna recover in bed most of the day.

    Thanks to everyone who helped me :jumphug:

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    I've hit a wall with my dissertation. I don't even know how to keep going and I have just over a week to go. I'm going away with my partner's family today for a week long holiday and it's going to be exhausting doing the whole socialising and emotion thing.

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    (Original post by ParadoxSocks)
    I've hit a wall with my dissertation. I don't even know how to keep going and I have just over a week to go. I'm going away with my partner's family today for a week long holiday and it's going to be exhausting doing the whole socialising and emotion thing.

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    You may ease into it after a few days and be able to relax, you never know :hugs:

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    I've always been one to turn to French when I'm feeling weird, just wrote something on my blog in French for the first time. I usually keep the French to myself.
    It's funny how expressing myself in French can work so much better than in English. Maybe it's because I live in English and Urdu, whereas French is not an actual part of my daily life, so it feels like another world and I can say what I like and really think about the words, the agreements, all the grammar and idiomatic structures, and it kind of helps make what you're saying more exquisite... So even if I'm expressing something negative, I feel like I can almost close my eyes and the French will just wash out of me and drape itself around everything, like a pale gold cloth, and I can almost be alone with the language and the expression in those moments. Then once I've finished, I end up being back in wet, miserable England again, hehe.

    It's a weird day today. Very weird day.
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    Feel strange and I don't know why. Like, I need to do something an jump out of my skin. Sounds odd. Almost feels like angry hypomania. But anxiety not euphoria
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    (Original post by Tyrion_Lannister)
    Feel strange and I don't know why. Like, I need to do something an jump out of my skin. Sounds odd. Almost feels like angry hypomania. But anxiety not euphoria
    I used to get this a lot. I'd mostly tidy to give me a focus before collapsing into bed as it's so exhausting. I wouldn't recommend exercising as it can speed up your breathing & heart - not exactly what you want. xxx
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    Managed to drive 230 miles without any anxiety but now I am just a big mess about my last exam and
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    I've started comfort eating again which I haven't done in months so my weight is creeping back up and pretty sure my BMI is overweight again
    :cry:
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    (Original post by magiczebras)
    I used to get this a lot. I'd mostly tidy to give me a focus before collapsing into bed as it's so exhausting. I wouldn't recommend exercising as it can speed up your breathing & heart - not exactly what you want. xxx
    Yeah now I just feel zonked but my heads still racing. Not fun
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    (Original post by Meaty_man)
    You may ease into it after a few days and be able to relax, you never know :hugs:

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    I'm hoping so. My gf's cousin's girlfriend is a mental health nurse so hiding my weird behaviours will be hard. It's a lovely place (we just got here) so I'm hoping a nicer atmosphere will trigger some sort of brilliance to finish my dissertation on a high.

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