Depression Society MkII Watch

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Sabertooth
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#2561
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#2561
(Original post by fairy spangles)
your not *****ing your ranting and its always all good.
:hugs: because i know what it feels like to feel all that stuff. Have u tried telling someone at uni?
:hugs: thanks. yeah I emailled the mental health person at uni and have a meeting with her lined up, well scared about it though. Like I don't see how they can help exactly though. What happened with your uni?

How's everyone getting on? I'm around if someone needs a sympathetic ear.
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Not Invented Yet
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#2562
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#2562
My mood has plunged again. I'm quite worried at the moment because I've been fantasising a lot about killing myself - more than I ever have before. At the moment it's just idle "what-if", but it's getting worse every day so I don't know how far it will go. It scares me a little bit. I can't kill myself, I have parents and friends and a little sister. I'm trapped here whether I like it or not. So I wish I could stop thinking about it.

I'm on the waiting list for counselling. Six weeks or more. I don't know if I can hold on that long - today I actually thought about going private instead of NHS but I don't have enough money. Unless I stop having driving lessons or something. But then mum will realise how insane I feel and we can't have that.

I don't know what to do.
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jonathan122
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#2563
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#2563
(Original post by Not Invented Yet)
My mood has plunged again. I'm quite worried at the moment because I've been fantasising a lot about killing myself - more than I ever have before. At the moment it's just idle "what-if", but it's getting worse every day so I don't know how far it will go. It scares me a little bit. I can't kill myself, I have parents and friends and a little sister. I'm trapped here whether I like it or not. So I wish I could stop thinking about it.

I'm on the waiting list for counselling. Six weeks or more. I don't know if I can hold on that long - today I actually thought about going private instead of NHS but I don't have enough money. Unless I stop having driving lessons or something. But then mum will realise how insane I feel and we can't have that.

I don't know what to do.
Hi NIY,

:hugs:

Would it really be so bad if your mum realised how bad you were feeling? Going private for therapy does give you the extra advantage (apart from quicker treatment) that you can find a therapist that you can work well with.

I hope you're ok, :hugs:
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jonathan122
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#2564
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#2564
(Original post by Cool Cat)
gah I'm such a loser. I feel awful.
Hi, are you ok? :hugs:
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Sabertooth
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#2565
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#2565
(Original post by Not Invented Yet)
My mood has plunged again. I'm quite worried at the moment because I've been fantasising a lot about killing myself - more than I ever have before. At the moment it's just idle "what-if", but it's getting worse every day so I don't know how far it will go. It scares me a little bit. I can't kill myself, I have parents and friends and a little sister. I'm trapped here whether I like it or not. So I wish I could stop thinking about it.

I'm on the waiting list for counselling. Six weeks or more. I don't know if I can hold on that long - today I actually thought about going private instead of NHS but I don't have enough money. Unless I stop having driving lessons or something. But then mum will realise how insane I feel and we can't have that.

I don't know what to do.
Could you not go back to your GP and tell them about the recent increase in suicidal thinking and see if you can try getting counselling a bit earlier?
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Not Invented Yet
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#2566
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#2566
(Original post by jonathan122)
Hi NIY,

:hugs:

Would it really be so bad if your mum realised how bad you were feeling? Going private for therapy does give you the extra advantage (apart from quicker treatment) that you can find a therapist that you can work well with.

I hope you're ok, :hugs:
Thanks for the hugs!
Yeah, it would be really bad if mum found out how I feel. When she knows I'm feeling low, she gets upset and that just makes me feel worse - and it's not like she can help me, I'm already seeing the doctor and everything, so all that could come of me telling her would be a lot of worry for her, and lot of guilt for me and stepped-up security on scar lookout. It's better for us both if she's kept in blissful ignorance.

EDIT: Sabertooth - I think I will try to see my GP asap. The only problem is, again, mum realising I'm quite desperate; and also it's so bloody difficult to get an appointment at my surgery! But I can try.
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jonathan122
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#2567
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#2567
(Original post by Not Invented Yet)
Thanks for the hugs!
Yeah, it would be really bad if mum found out how I feel. When she knows I'm feeling low, she gets upset and that just makes me feel worse - and it's not like she can help me, I'm already seeing the doctor and everything, so all that could come of me telling her would be a lot of worry for her, and lot of guilt for me and stepped-up security on scar lookout. It's better for us both if she's kept in blissful ignorance.
Could you pretend to give up driving lessons for some other reason?
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jonathan122
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#2568
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#2568
(Original post by Sabertooth)
:hugs: thanks. yeah I emailled the mental health person at uni and have a meeting with her lined up, well scared about it though. Like I don't see how they can help exactly though. What happened with your uni?

How's everyone getting on? I'm around if someone needs a sympathetic ear.
Hi saber, :hugs:

Hope you're well. There's no need to be scared about meeting the uni disability officer, they're there to help you, and with the right help you'll be able to get through uni. :hugs:
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Not Invented Yet
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#2569
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#2569
My parents pay for half my driving lessons (brilliant birthday present deal!), so if I quit without telling them why then they'll just stop giving me the money for them and I still won't be able to afford it... the only way I could do that without them knowing would be to take the money and pretend I'm still having lessons, but that would be very deceitful and a bit like theft. After my first payday for my new job I will be in a better position.
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Sabertooth
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#2570
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#2570
(Original post by jonathan122)
Hi saber, :hugs:

Hope you're well. There's no need to be scared about meeting the uni disability officer, they're there to help you, and with the right help you'll be able to get through uni. :hugs:
Thanks Jonathan, I really hope you're right. Feeling a bit more positive about uni today. How are you?


NIY, that really sucks, I'm sorry to hear you're in that situation but the only thing I can really think of like I said was seeing your GP, I think it's disgraceful that in a country where we pride ourselves on a free national health service often there are massive gaps for people who desperately need it. :hugs: thinking about you. You just need to stay strong and fight the suicidal feelings, thinking of my little brother always helps me, you've got a little sister you could try that. Try something to distract you like silly online games (http://www.kongregate.com/games/araw...hin-olympics-2) or them cat pictures with funny captions, something silly to try and take your mind off it.
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jonathan122
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#2571
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#2571
I'm feeling a bit better this evening. I'm still scared about uni though, even after 4 years Hopefully this year will be better for all of us
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Not Invented Yet
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#2572
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#2572
That's a strange coincidence, since I was actually just doing that very thing and looking at the funny cat pictures to distract myself... hmmm!

Thank you both, Saber and Jonathan, for being so nice and supportive - and I'm sorry I haven't been at all helpful to anyone else. I'm going to sleep now, so I'll talk to you guys tomorrow. Thanks!

Charley
xx
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jonathan122
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#2573
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#2573
Have a nice sleep Charley :hugs:
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jonathan122
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#2574
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#2574
I feel so lonely and unhappy :cry:
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*pink_sapphires*
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#2575
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#2575
:hugs: Jonathan. What's the matter? Want to talk?

I'm feeling a bit down today. Nearly broke down in Ikea and Asda but made it through. Mum keeps saying that I'm acting weird but I can't tell that I am. I missed Gavin today when buying stuff in Asda...moving out has made me think of how hard it must have been for him to go even further away. Then I remembered the party we went to that his 'friend he was seeing' turned upto and I felt sick and angry. But that passed pretty quickly which was good!

My room is a mess. Full of stuff ready for uni and I'm really anxious about going now. Want the next 10 days to hurry up and pass so I can move to uni and start afresh. So scared about making friends and settling in. Think the stress will make me ill again and i dont want to go back to those darkest days again.
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jonathan122
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#2576
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#2576
(Original post by *pink_sapphires*)
:hugs: Jonathan. What's the matter? Want to talk?

I'm feeling a bit down today. Nearly broke down in Ikea and Asda but made it through. Mum keeps saying that I'm acting weird but I can't tell that I am. I missed Gavin today when buying stuff in Asda...moving out has made me think of how hard it must have been for him to go even further away. Then I remembered the party we went to that his 'friend he was seeing' turned upto and I felt sick and angry. But that passed pretty quickly which was good!

My room is a mess. Full of stuff ready for uni and I'm really anxious about going now. Want the next 10 days to hurry up and pass so I can move to uni and start afresh. So scared about making friends and settling in. Think the stress will make me ill again and i dont want to go back to those darkest days again.
:hugs:

Liz, don't worry too much about moving away. I can't promise it will all go 100% smoothly, but I'm pretty certain you'll settle in within a week or so. Let me know if you need any Freshers' Week tips.

I don't know if talking will do me any good any more. I'm so worried that people will think I'm a freak for being ill the last two years, but I can't tell until I get to uni

Many people break down in Ikea It's Scandinavian for despair.
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becki08
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#2577
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#2577
(Original post by fairy spangles)
hey hun i dont think i would know where to start if im honest. Theres too much and reality dawned on me today heavily.
Im glad ur feeling slightly better today
Well if you change your mind you know where I am :hugs:
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becki08
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#2578
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#2578
I'm scared.
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Laus
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#2579
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#2579
Scared of what hunni? xxx
Sabertooth
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#2580
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#2580
Bah I was meant to meet some guy for extra training today but I was too scared to go, felt sick and shaking and just couldn't do it. I hate anxiety.

How is everyone?
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