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Asians, are you allowed to marry a girl/guy of your choice? Watch

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    (Original post by bunty64)
    skeen.... (is that still used.. just remember lots of asians in east london using that term)

    translation: I see
    Haha, no idea if it's still used or not. I favour 'achha' = ok/alright/is itttt?! :cool:
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    (Original post by Khodu)
    I said she was lucky because they only had to be Muslim. My parent's requirement list is way more than that. It's got nothing to with religion tbh.
    What is the meaning of your sig, sister? :holmes:
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    (Original post by joey11223)
    How about an Atheist who shrugs and says "meh fine, I'll say I'm a deist."

    Wiki but it's a fine definition..

    Deism (pronounced /?di??z?m/, US dict: d??·?zm)[1][2] in the philosophy of religion is the standpoint that reason and observation of the natural world, without the need for organized religion, can determine that a supreme being created the universe. Further the term often implies that this supreme being does not intervene in human affairs or suspend the natural laws of the universe. Deists typically reject supernatural events such as prophecy and miracles, tending to assert that God (or "The Supreme Architect") has a plan for the universe that is not to be altered by intervention in the affairs of human life. Deists believe in the existence of God, in a secular sense, without any reliance on revealed religion, religious authority or holy books.
    Lol, no they'd have to really mean it

    I didn't know that was the definition lol. I've called MYSELF a deist before - I thought Deists were those that believed in a higher power regardless of whether or not they believe in the scriptures etc.. Didn't know it was exclusive of holy books.
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    (Original post by Jackthevillain)
    lol well I thought maintaining traditions for Asians would be more important obvs not then.
    But they can do both by comming here, having a good life and imposing culutural outlooks on their children. We know its not exactly fair, but thats how it is.. and I believe it will change but just not until this generation (ie us indians that were born here in England) grow up and have kids of our own.
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    (Original post by Khodu)
    I said she was lucky because they only had to be Muslim. My parent's requirement list is way more than that. It's got nothing to with religion tbh.
    Surely religion trumps whatever "tradition" that is restricting your ability to date outside of your race?
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    (Original post by piya21)
    Haha, no idea if it's still used or not. I favour 'achha' = ok/alright/is itttt?! :cool:
    yeh i've heard that!


    by the by, are you fluent in arabic and french?
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    (Original post by bunty64)
    I believe a lot of white nationalists (not saying that you are) are quite resentful of asians who are firm believers of intra-racial marriages to keep cultural identities intact....

    I don't agree with the caste/tribal system, but if they wish to instil certain beliefs/values into their children then let em, as long as they don't break the law (ie. forced marrieages, honuor killings etc)
    I wouldnt be a very good white nationalist if I supported people marrying who they wanted to lol. No im not really bothered about people keeping their cultural identities if they do good for them im just basically saying people should choose you they marry on love not because their parents say they must marry the same race/religion.
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    (Original post by bunty64)
    yeh i've heard that!


    by the by, are you fluent in arabic and french?
    Nope, beginner in Arabic and post-A Level in French (I keep it up with skyping with some French friends) Ask me again in about 3 years and hopefully I can say yes to both though!
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    (Original post by HumanNature1992)
    But how can you ENSURE that marrying an Indian girl will be the right thing to do? Your parents may like the idea that Indian = right, but it's a different generation. These indian girls are 1st generation so in reality are pretty much like any other girl walking the street - and possibly worse, i've never got on with one lol

    Wouldn't it be better, and wouldnt your parents be happier if you met a GREAT girl from a different race and you were both totally right for each other and would have a great marriage rather than just for the sake of it you were to marry an Indian girl who doesn't make you totally happy and isn't right for you in a lot of ways? And who's to say you're going to retain culture marrying an Indian girl which is the only reason why your parents want you to marry an Indian.

    You could be doing yourself and your parents a favour by marrying outside of your race.
    I see your point and thats a question for the generation above us who have this narrow vision. Tbh they want to ensure no culture is lost within the family, and ensuring marriage to an indian would make culture more likely to be passed on to the kids. Theres never a guaruntee with anything, but the likelihood is increased if this happens... thats probably their erasoning.

    I will probably marry an Indian, because my parents happiness comes first, besides Indian girls aren't that bad. Yeah my choice is limited but I wouldn't make the fuss to my parents and tarnish their long term happiness to widen it.
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    (Original post by SuperStaah)
    Yeah and I'm really thankful for that. My parents are actually quite lenient compared to other Asian parents. I mean they're allowing me to share a house with guys at university! I had to persuade them a lot, but after a while they came around. :p:

    I've been good. Back at home for the holidays How about you?
    I'm not too sure. It kinda died out, heh.
    Whoa, that'd be a definitely no no. You should be grateful with that trust

    I'm loving the hols. Chillaxing. LOL ODC died down? Sucha shame, it was jokes. Where did they all go? ISoc gone pretty quiet too...


    (Original post by lonely14)
    What is the meaning of your sig, sister? :holmes:
    It's part of the UNICEF Bad Water Campaign. Lol. Why? Do I need to ask what you were thinking.

    (Original post by HumanNature1992)
    Surely religion trumps whatever "tradition" that is restricting your ability to date outside of your race?
    I'm not debating with you mate, I've just learnt to make my parents happy. I'm not losing out on THAT much. So it's fine. I'll still end up married and I really don't give a crap about their ethnicity, their personality is much more important.
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    (Original post by HumanNature1992)
    Lol, no they'd have to really mean it

    I didn't know that was the definition lol. I've called MYSELF a deist before - I thought Deists were those that believed in a higher power regardless of whether or not they believe in the scriptures etc.. Didn't know it was exclusive of holy books.
    I'd thought they generally rejected the worlds organised faiths, especially ones such as Abrahamic faiths which contain a God with human-like qualities and emotions and interacts with us on a personal level, our personal life's have meaning sort of thing.

    I always assumed Deism was a bit like saying: God started it all and now watches, but evolution and such is correct, he didn't make us especially. Our individual life's not really mean anything and there's no heaven and hell judgement. A good real world example would be a scientist watching a colony of bacteria. Their individual life doesn't mean much and he isn't interfering, he's just recording the results, but they don't exactly matter, as on the grand scale of things this one test tube of bacteria doesn't mean much, he has a whole lab of stuff, like God has the whole Universe. We are a part..but not a personal focus like we are in Abrahamic faiths.

    Basically there is a conscious being which created the Universe, but it doesn't engage with it, it just watches and sort of knows how things will turn out in the end.
    Not sure if the above makes any sense...
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    (Original post by Khodu)
    Whoa, that'd be a definitely no no. You should be grateful with that trust

    I'm loving the hols. Chillaxing. LOL ODC died down? Sucha shame, it was jokes. Where did they all go? ISoc gone pretty quiet too...
    Mmm, yeah. I'm guessing you're parents are really strict? I read in the earlier pages about the trouble with your brother and the girl he wants to marry?

    I know, it was jokes! I think everyones just busy with uni, tbh. I don't come on here at all during term time.
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    (Original post by piya21)
    Nope, beginner in Arabic and post-A Level in French (I keep it up with skyping with some French friends) Ask me again in about 3 years and hopefully I can say yes to both though!
    I'm currently self-teaching arabic (youtube and other free sites). Going to enrol in evening classes when I fully grasp the basics. May go with the Rosetta Stone arabic ? Gotta read up on reviews.....

    Know any places where I can stalk speakers of modern standard arabic?
    Any good (ideally free) resources that you know of, pls let me know!
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    well. in my opinion,it depends.if people are from countryside,most of them, especially women ,are not allowed to choose their husbands.But as urban dwellers,they will have more choices,in result of the better education and development of economy.
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    (Original post by joey11223)
    I'd thought they generally rejected the worlds organised faiths, especially ones such as Abrahamic faiths which contain a God with human-like qualities and emotions and interacts with us on a personal level, our personal life's have meaning sort of thing.

    I always assumed Deism was a bit like saying: God started it all and now watches, but evolution and such is correct, he didn't make us especially. Our individual life's not really mean anything and there's no heaven and hell judgement. A good real world example would be a scientist watching a colony of bacteria. Their individual life doesn't mean much and he isn't interfering, he's just recording the results, but they don't exactly matter, as on the grand scale of things this one test tube of bacteria doesn't mean much, he has a whole lab of stuff, like God has the whole Universe. We are a part..but not a personal focus like we are in Abrahamic faiths.

    Basically there is a conscious being which created the Universe, but it doesn't engage with it, it just watches and sort of knows how things will turn out in the end.
    Not sure if the above makes any sense...
    I think it does

    So a transcendent entity that doesn't hold us accountable for our deeds and sins? And thus of course the possibility of the validity of holy books thrown out of the window!

    Interesting, I naively though a Deist was somebody that believed in God.
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    (Original post by Jackthevillain)
    I wouldnt be a very good white nationalist if I supported people marrying who they wanted to lol. No im not really bothered about people keeping their cultural identities if they do good for them im just basically saying people should choose you they marry on love not because their parents say they must marry the same race/religion.
    the concept of the "love-marriage" is not big in asian cultures (sub continent).... whereas in the west, you would date, find someone, go out, become bf/gf, fall in love, move in, get engaged for a few years, then get married, those of the asian community (not all) tend to get married before the "love" kicks in

    it works for them, don't see the issue..... the problem only comes up when we hear of things like honour killings..
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    (Original post by HumanNature1992)
    I think it does

    So a transcendent entity that doesn't hold us accountable for our deeds and sins? And thus of course the possibility of the validity of holy books thrown out of the window!

    Interesting, I naively though a Deist was somebody that believed in God.
    Why does a God have to hold us accountable for our deeds? Only if he is concerned with us on a personal level would it do that, only if it had the same morality and emotional capacity as we do. A human may keep a group of cockroaches, occasionally some will bite each other, or even bite off their group mates legs, or just general scuffles(I should know haha, you can keep a constant supply of protein available but you'll still get fights at times) . He doesn't take the time to prod that roach and tell it off, it's just what happens sometimes and anyway their fate isn't of the monumental concern. In the same light why does a God have to care about our individual lifes? There is a whole Universe out there, we are nothing. It knows our nature, and it knows there is good and bad, it may be interesting to observe the different social structures we create, but anarchy or democracy..it makes no difference to this being.

    Even mainstream faiths often say we cannot know the true nature of God. So why must we assume it must be so like us? Obviously they do teach he loves us all, we are critically important to him, he judges us individually for our life's actions on an eternal level.

    But why can't it just create everything and watch? Maybe it has other projects.

    anyway I had already stated that Deists didn't follow the holy books of main stream faiths for that very reason, they don't think God is as they describe..or they'd be of that faith logically.


    Apologies for diverting on the thread OP.
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    (Original post by joey11223)
    Why does a God have to hold us accountable for our deeds? Only if he is concerned with us on a personal level would it do that, only if it had the same morality and emotional capacity as we do. A human may keep a group of cockroaches, occasionally some will bite each other, or even bite off their group mates legs, or just general scuffles(I should know haha, you can keep a constant supply of protein available but you'll still get fights at times) . He doesn't take the time to prod that roach and tell it off, it's just what happens sometimes and anyway their fate isn't of the monumental concern. In the same light why does a God have to care about our individual lifes? There is a whole Universe out there, we are nothing. It knows our nature, and it knows there is good and bad, it may be interesting to observe the different social structures we create, but anarchy or democracy..it makes no difference to this being.

    Even mainstream faiths often say we cannot know the true nature of God. So why must we assume it must be so like us? Obviously they do teach he loves us all, we are critically important to him, he judges us individually for our life's actions on an eternal level.

    But why can't it just create everything and watch? Maybe it has other projects.

    anyway I had already stated that Deists didn't follow the holy books of main stream faiths for that very reason, they don't think God is as they describe..or they'd be of that faith logically.


    Apologies for diverting on the thread OP.
    Can I ask what your beliefs are?

    I see what you're saying and all of what you've wrote is contingent on the idea of particular faiths - and therefore holy books etc...Some people see Holy Books as a necessity in that it sheds ALOT of light on us as human beings - it covers morality, the idea of judgement which I see to be a necessary and also in the Qur'an particular has facts confirmed by science. I'd find it tough to fully grasp the concept of God without the teachings of the prophet and the Qur'an - maybe that's just me however.

    You've covered ALOT of scope in your post, and i'm not sure I want to fully divulge into it this late
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    (Original post by bunty64)
    the concept of the "love-marriage" is not big in asian cultures (sub continent).... whereas in the west, you would date, find someone, go out, become bf/gf, fall in love, move in, get engaged for a few years, then get married, those of the asian community (not all) tend to get married before the "love" kicks in

    it works for them, don't see the issue..... the problem only comes up when we hear of things like honour killings..
    I think there is a greater degree of leniency these days in arranged marriages. It is quite common nowadays for parents to introduce their children to possible partners and then for them to go out and get to know each other. The obligation isn't there for marriage....if the couple don't hit it off, they move on with their lives.
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    (Original post by Curly A)
    Yes.

    My parents have always told me that they would rather I choose my own partner, because even if I asked for their help in finding me a suitor, they still wouldn't know them well enough compared to if I found and got to know someone myself.

    Also my parents do not really care where they are from. Its more to do with the boy's personal qualities such as being well educated, has a decent job, be kind, caring and supportive obviously. Just basically someone that they know can look after me.

    The only boundaries my parents have are that guy follows the same religion. That's it.
    This is refreshing to hear, can I ask what religion you are?
 
 
 
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