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    (Original post by trustmeimlying1)
    people dont like when others lie...and yes Im sure some of them were..altho personally i fully supports Bis and I cant be the only one.

    fact is:must people will find it hard to transfer

    besides whether you did or not it would only be your attitude that wouldve changed things

    a fresh start made it easier at the other uni...but it was still very possible to make mates at the other uni...thats the main thing..

    less about you..and more about helping the average joe who will find it hard to switch colleges...

    its not about being desperate...is about getting urself out there..trying new things...being friendly...being open

    finding decent friends that wont use yeh should be the provocative
    I admit, I focused on winning the lesbians over because they asked if I was lesbian and if I was, they would want to be my friend. They turned out as fake friends.

    I know it's difficult to transfer, so the social life wasn't the only drive for me to transfer. OP says they love their course but I hated it. Crap social life and crap course - transfer.

    I did have a change in attitude - a laissez faire attitude. Employing a laissez faire attitude made the people come to me. Me desparately trying to find new friends ASAP showed me off as very needy and a potential victim of heartbreak.

    Sometimes, the only way to make friends is to just let it be. Smile to everyone you greet and friends will come. While in QMUL, I felt stigmatised against all my classmates because of the way I was treated by some of my classmates.
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    (Original post by JulietheCat)
    I admit, I focused on winning the lesbians over because they asked if I was lesbian and if I was, they would want to be my friend. They turned out as fake friends.

    I know it's difficult to transfer, so the social life wasn't the only drive for me to transfer. OP says they love their course but I hated it. Crap social life and crap course - transfer.

    I did have a change in attitude - a laissez faire attitude. Employing a laissez faire attitude made the people come to me. Me desparately trying to find new friends ASAP showed me off as very needy and a potential victim of heartbreak.

    Sometimes, the only way to make friends is to just let it be. Smile to everyone you greet and friends will come. While in QMUL, I felt stigmatised against all my classmates because of the way I was treated by some of my classmates.
    well yeh lied..so I dont blame them...

    Im glad you could transfer and it worked out

    hmm yeh be easy going...but dont lock yourself in your room...you can be outgoing and friendly and not be desperate

    glad it all worked out and I hope others keep trying until it does

    best of luck guys
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    If everywhere you go there are problems, eventually you realise, you are the problem.
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    #1

    (Original post by democracyforum)
    If everywhere you go there are problems, eventually you realise, you are the problem.
    For me, thankfully it isn't the case. I'm very social outside university and can connect with people. It's just in university.

    I'll take JulietheCat's advice, thank you
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    Don't mean to bump and hijack OP's thread - but I figured it was time to update on my time at uni (considering I posted here, being sad at QMUL). I transferred to Goldsmith's - mainly because I wasn't feeling challenged enough in my course. Everything went exactly the same as QMUL lol, except that I actually enjoy my course now.

    The only way I made friends was to move out and get a flat. All the money I'm paying now for rent won't go towards helping my family. I was called selfish by my family, as moving out would mean making friends and not missing out on any of the experience.

    The uni socials are still ****, as they always are. Bar this, bar that, get drunk, get pissed, get dirty...

    I think university has been the absolute worst time of my life. School was much better as you could make friends simply by approaching and making conversation. Do the same in uni and they claim to be "busy" while blowing you off for their million friends. University always favours those who live on campus, not those who live with their parents or commute from a shared house.

    I personally can't wait to leave uni.
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    #1

    (Original post by JulietheCat)
    Don't mean to bump and hijack OP's thread - but I figured it was time to update on my time at uni (considering I posted here, being sad at QMUL). I transferred to Goldsmith's - mainly because I wasn't feeling challenged enough in my course. Everything went exactly the same as QMUL lol, except that I actually enjoy my course now.

    The only way I made friends was to move out and get a flat. All the money I'm paying now for rent won't go towards helping my family. I was called selfish by my family, as moving out would mean making friends and not missing out on any of the experience.

    The uni socials are still ****, as they always are. Bar this, bar that, get drunk, get pissed, get dirty...

    I think university has been the absolute worst time of my life. School was much better as you could make friends simply by approaching and making conversation. Do the same in uni and they claim to be "busy" while blowing you off for their million friends. University always favours those who live on campus, not those who live with their parents or commute from a shared house.

    I personally can't wait to leave uni.
    You gave me hope - but the second year was even worse than the first year.

    My self-esteem dropped to zero, I ate a lot of comfort food to hide the pain from the loneliness and I'm still recovering.
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    (Original post by JulietheCat)
    Don't mean to bump and hijack OP's thread - but I figured it was time to update on my time at uni (considering I posted here, being sad at QMUL). I transferred to Goldsmith's - mainly because I wasn't feeling challenged enough in my course. Everything went exactly the same as QMUL lol, except that I actually enjoy my course now.

    The only way I made friends was to move out and get a flat. All the money I'm paying now for rent won't go towards helping my family. I was called selfish by my family, as moving out would mean making friends and not missing out on any of the experience.

    The uni socials are still ****, as they always are. Bar this, bar that, get drunk, get pissed, get dirty...

    I think university has been the absolute worst time of my life. School was much better as you could make friends simply by approaching and making conversation. Do the same in uni and they claim to be "busy" while blowing you off for their million friends. University always favours those who live on campus, not those who live with their parents or commute from a shared house.

    I personally can't wait to leave uni.
    Sounds like the problem is you, sorry.

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    (Original post by ElChapo)
    Sounds like the problem is you, sorry.

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    Then, why did I make tons of friends at school and do the same in the uni and be lonely? Sorry, but the problem is not me but university in general.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    You gave me hope - but the second year was even worse than the first year.

    My self-esteem dropped to zero, I ate a lot of comfort food to hide the pain from the loneliness and I'm still recovering.
    :console: You have one more year, you can get through it. As I will try to, as well.
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    (Original post by JulietheCat)
    Then, why did I make tons of friends at school and do the same in the uni and be lonely? Sorry, but the problem is not me but university in general.
    Well I have not watched you in school and university to compare and come up with an answer to that. However I know people who commute and they all have been able to make friends with other commuters in London uni's so to me this problem doesn't seem widespread. Also I remember when you met up with OP, you had no interest in befriending him and made all those rude comments about him, you don't seem like a very nice person. You failed to make friendships in two different uni's, university is like the easiest place to make friends therefore I think the problem is lying with you.
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    (Original post by ElChapo)
    Well I have not watched you in school and university to compare and come up with an answer to that. However I know people who commute and they all have been able to make friends with other commuters in London uni's so to me this problem doesn't seem widespread. Also I remember when you met up with OP, you had no interest in befriending him and made all those rude comments about him, you don't seem like a very nice person. You failed to make friendships in two different uni's, university is like the easiest place to make friends therefore I think the problem is lying with you.
    I made tons of friends, mainly by volunteering (because it was fun for me). A lot of them are people who I keep in touch with. After 10 years of fun, I expected that the same sort of fun will continue in uni. But when I first came to uni, it turned out to be rather bland.

    Even non-drinking events turned to boring events. I mean, the video games society was mainly focusing on video games but now they're focusing on lame-ass card games like Magic: The Gathering.

    My high expectations of friends turned everyone who I socialised with into acquaintances. I make small talk with them but I can't connect with them the same way I connect with my old school friends. And there comes the problem, really.

    Being flatmates or being stuck together on some project really brings people together, most of the time. Unfortunately, I had to move out to realise that I was wasting my time trying to make friends in socials and failing when I could've just gone the easy route and get a flat.

    And uni being easy to make friends - don't make me laugh! In school, I could simply sit next to someone, say "Hi", make small talk, rinse and repeat and hey ho I have a new friend. But in uni, if you do that, they would either crawl back into their little rock and blank out everyone else or lie to me, say that they're busy and go with their already established groups of friends.
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    #1

    School was a better venue to make friends, only because you are randomly put in a class full of random people and you have no choice but socialise with them at some point! I haven't had the opportunity to move out, because I promised that I would help my mother to bring my aging grandmother to London and out from a poor rural village. If it wasn't for that, I'm sure that I wouldn't have even made this thread.

    Throw in long commute times and the fact that I prefer to watch TV with my family than go to a noisy bar on a quiz night - and it can be seen why I'm in the sort of position I'm in now. I'm not the only one to be like that in uni. A classmate of mine also keeps to her friends and family from outside uni, and seemingly a lot of international students are like that as well (I was told this by a user on this site who goes to the same uni).

    Also, I jumped on the opportunity of freedom in sixth form and took full advantage of it so when I came to uni, the freedom no longer had that new "Ooh, shiny!" smell.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    School was a better venue to make friends, only because you are randomly put in a class full of random people and you have no choice but socialise with them at some point! I haven't had the opportunity to move out, because I promised that I would help my mother to bring my aging grandmother to London and out from a poor rural village. If it wasn't for that, I'm sure that I wouldn't have even made this thread.

    Throw in long commute times and the fact that I prefer to watch TV with my family than go to a noisy bar on a quiz night - and it can be seen why I'm in the sort of position I'm in now. I'm not the only one to be like that in uni. A classmate of mine also keeps to her friends and family from outside uni, and seemingly a lot of international students are like that as well (I was told this by a user on this site who goes to the same uni).

    Also, I jumped on the opportunity of freedom in sixth form and took full advantage of it so when I came to uni, the freedom no longer had that new "Ooh, shiny!" smell.
    I don't think it's your family commitments but your preferences. You said that you made friends in school (like me!) but you don't want to go to all those socials. The latter is really why you're lonely. In uni, small talk doesn't work anymore - you've got to go to the root and socialise from there.
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    Don't worry, I reckon I'll be a loner at uni else well
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    I get where a lot of people are coming from. I never had any issues making friends at school or through part time jobs - at uni it's harder simply because I don't see people automatically very often. Seminars aren't regular enough and students often don't show up every week. In societies you may meet somebody one week but then they don't show up again - it's the transient nature of uni that makes it harder.

    If you regularly see people eventually friendships develop naturally and don't have to be forced and awkward. That doesn't happen at uni.

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    #1

    (Original post by yabbayabba)
    I get where a lot of people are coming from. I never had any issues making friends at school or through part time jobs - at uni it's harder simply because I don't see people automatically very often. Seminars aren't regular enough and students often don't show up every week. In societies you may meet somebody one week but then they don't show up again - it's the transient nature of uni that makes it harder.

    If you regularly see people eventually friendships develop naturally and don't have to be forced and awkward. That doesn't happen at uni.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Yes, that's exactly what I'm feeling. People come and go all the time in my uni. I may see a person in one lecture and then the next time, he may not be there.
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    But, it's not the end of the world! Don't be so pessimistic! Just 3/4 years of your life and you'll never see these people ever again. As for the experience getting a first should be y our main priority- remember, you are in fierce competition with private school kids who already have all the skills for university.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    You gave me hope - but the second year was even worse than the first year.

    My self-esteem dropped to zero, I ate a lot of comfort food to hide the pain from the loneliness and I'm still recovering.
    In what way was your second year worse than the first?
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    (Original post by Technetium)
    In what way was your second year worse than the first?
    Got a lower grade than in first year, and tried to make friends with a few of my classmates to no avail. In that time, I got obese because of all the comfort food and now I'm trying to burn off all the fat.

    (Original post by lozasaurus99)
    But, it's not the end of the world! Don't be so pessimistic! Just 3/4 years of your life and you'll never see these people ever again. As for the experience getting a first should be y our main priority- remember, you are in fierce competition with private school kids who already have all the skills for university.
    Yeah, I'm already looking forward to the end of university. Most people who were friends in school, I don't speak to. There are a fair few who I decided to keep in touch with, though.
 
 
 
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